Searching for Carrie Ann in a New Frontier

April 19, 2124

I am Joanna Gaze, commander of the craft Branceritos through the newly discovered Folds of Space that exist on our planet Earth, hidden before from human eyes. A substance discovered on Mars, Makinaki creates a film in specialized scopes that enables humans to see into this new frontier. Scientists and engineers developed the Branceritos craft to propel itself within the specifications of the new Makinaki Scope. This is the biggest discovery in my world during my lifetime, but also of personal significance to me. My daughter, Carrie Anne, disappeared ten years ago at fifteen, and her body was unlocated and I believe she slipped into such a space along with many other homeless people who also vanished.

April 20, 2124

We have entered the first Fold that exists between Los Angelos and Sacramento, and the land rolls out before us with a dreamlike quality. My breath catches at the sight of virginal forests and mountains and lakes and desserts and rivers; all natural phenomena under a blue sunny sky, but with colours more intense and shimmering. I smiled, as did Gilbert Dawes, my second-in-command. I am eager to disembark and search, despite strict instructions to remain aboard. Still, I might never get this chance again. I inform Gilbert of my intention to explore on the ground. He frowns and reminds me we’re only authorized for an air survey. His grey eyes flash and he looks annoyed. I argue the need to take risks for the sake of research. He counters I might get trapped, and we have no evidence humans can survive in this environment outside of the craft. I hesitate. I feel Carrie Ann is here, but this could be my wishfulness.

We spent the day exploring the virginal terrain, and I sympathized with the early explorers coming to the Americas where none of their own had been before and how surprising it would have been to discover the Indigenous peoples. I wanted desperately to find Carrie Ann, and I felt afraid.

April 21, 2124

There has been no sign of creature life beyond nature, but do the same rules apply here as they do in our reality. Just as we needed the Makinaki Scope and the Branceritos Craft to identify and move into the Fold of Space, we may need additional resources to perceive life here. It could be teeming around us, and we might not be aware of it. If they are here, can they perceive us? I focus the cameras from vast panoramas to detailed areas about five feet squared. It’s not nearly close enough. I glance at Gilbert, who’s monitoring the craft controls, and the way he’s gripping them; I think he’d be reluctant to hand them over to me. Is my daughter out here? 

My heart catches at the thought, as I recall the last time I saw Carrie Ann. She was standing framed in the doorway, her long wavy blond hair catching the light, telling me she had a problem she urgently needed to discuss, but I dismissed her and said I had a high level meeting. This was true, and Carrie Ann seemed to have several of these crises. Gilbert waves and catches my attention. He tells me he’s been looking at me for a minute and I haven’t noticed him. I tell him I’m thinking about the implications of this discovery. He responds we’re still in the early days, and for all we know, this could be another virtual reality. I nod, as if in agreement and return to my camera work, but also back to my memories. 

When I returned home, Carrie Ann was gone. I panicked later when she didn’t return before her curfew at eleven on a school night. I’ve picked apart the details repeatedly, only to face my guilt. 

 Desperation floods into me and I note the cooling of my extremities; I do my best to stay focused and take deep breaths until my fingertips tingle with warmth. All this lush forest and no clouds. The external temperature is 25 degrees Celcius. In our world, there is a crew that is remotely managing the propulsion engines. If I do something unexpected, they’ll know, but how quickly could they react? 

If Carrie Ann is here, I don’t want to miss her. For a long time, I blamed my work for taking my attention. After she vanished; I wanted to change careers, but in our society, we get profiled and matched to our careers and cannot change unless our work becomes outmoded. For several years at work, I’d become more robotic than our AI assisted robots, until the discovery of the Fold in Space. Then I emerged from my depression and worked extremely hard for my position on this discovery voyage. Now that I’m in the Fold in Space, I’m determined to examine every inch for signs of Carrie Ann.

 When she was eight, we visited a Calvingos Nature Park near this Fold in our world. I recall her skipping and touching the trees and telling me the trees talked and told her there were little people living under their roots. I feel she is here! More than ever, I know she didn’t die, not just because we immediately account for dead bodies in our world. The homeless lived off the grid, but could be located sporadically or, if needed, through the Out-of-Bounds Person Location Facility. I’d just completed the application when Carrie Ann and millions vanished.

I tell Gilbert we need to look for small things that don’t belong, even as we take in the sweeping natural beauty of this Space. He shakes his head at me as if to tell me he’s on to me, and we won’t be descending for up close looks on this mission.

April 22, 2124

Yesterday’s thoughts percolated in my mind during my sleep last night. What is the link between vegetation and animal life? Fungi! Neither vegetable nor animal. I tell Gilbert we need to cruise lower to the ground and photograph any fungal growth. Gilbert states we’re to cruise at 500 meters altitude, but I say that’s only suggested, and that if needed, we can drop to 180 meters. Blowing out his breath, he counters that’s only in an emergency. I insist we can if we use the manual controls according to the protocol. Finally, I pull rank and he reluctantly accedes to my authority, but reminds me we risk crashing. 

He overrides the automatic steering and attends the wheel. I take photos of any fungal life with the largest lens. At the end of the workday, we return to higher altitude cruising and examine the photos on a larger screen.

I see it in one photo. There is a sharp nick on a large yellow cream coloured fungus growing on what looks like a hemlock tree. I zero in on it, and determine that it’s not just an accidental tear occurring from its own weight. Something or someone has been there. I’m excited and almost inform Gilbert about my mission to find my daughter, but it’s better if no one else knows about it, so I write this diary in a code of numbers, which I tell him is my way of meditation, of sinking myself into calmness. He doesn’t question further. In our world, we’ve learned ways to guard our privacy. He’ll have his own ways.

April 23, 2124

After today, we’re scheduled to return to our world and leave the Fold. There could be other folds, but I sense even stronger today, Carrie Ann’s presence. Gilbert eyes me with unease, perhaps because I am so different on this mission compared to how he’s known me at work in the lab for the past five years. I attend the steering and cruise at the acceptable altitude while he works the camera.

I hear excitement in his voice when he alerts me to a photo he’s taken where there are two cuts on a fungus, a crosscut. This can’t be coincidence. No evidence proves Carrie Ann is here, but my heart overwhelms my head, and I no longer care if my peripheral circulation is constricting. Crossing her two index fingers was a sign she used to communicate she wanted to tell me a secret when she was a little girl.

I gesture for Gilbert to take over the steering so I can examine the photo. As he prepares for the transition, I let our altitude drop suddenly. When he looks up, startled, it’s too late and I’ve dropped the Branceritos Craft onto a riverbank. The remote crew demand an explanation, but I’ve cut off their connection.

I ignore Gilbert’s shocked demanding looks and tell him I’m going out and I remind him we have little oxygen left to use up arguing, and he needs to leave the Fold without me. Before I enter the decompression section of the emergency door, I confide I’ve gone to look for my missing daughter. His expression changes and he tells me of his missing nephew, but he also warns me I’m premature and should wait a few months until we know more. I tell him I’ve decided, and that he must return the craft back to our world without me, as per the schedule.

He hands me a bag full of food and liquid capsules, which I stuff into the inside pocket of my vest. With emotion I hadn’t expected of him, he promises to return and look for me. It occurs to me I’ll be an object of interest to the Mission.

Before I leave, I cross my two fingers and step into the Fold.