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Write a story with the aim of making your reader laugh.

Posted in Short Story on Apr 18, 2025

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✍️ 137 stories

The Flag

Winner of Contest #299 🏆

The trouble started when the class hamster got out of its cage. Judy Jenkins was on hamster duty and I think she forgot to close the little door after she’d replaced the hamster’s newspapers. Kids are so easily distracted these days. It used to be all a teacher had to do was chant “1,2,3, eyes on me” to get a room back in order. Attention spans have gotten so bad that I’ve taken to firing a starter’s pistol to get the kids back on track. Had to buy it myself, but the gym teacher told me the union rep is going to see if we can get ammunition ...

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The Trouble With Transporters

Submitted to Contest #299

"Did you try restarting the transporter?""Seriously? Do you think I'd call if it were that easy?"The tech support guy stared blankly at me with the fakest smile ever. He didn't blink once."Hello!" I banged my call screen."Yes, sir. Did you try restarting?""Are you listening? Of course, I did!"The tech guy's fake smile widened, and he spewed out several more suggestions, each one more basic than the first. I parried his suggestions with ease – this isn't the first time I've messed with this transporter – until I had enough. I demanded he send...

47 likes 38 comments 38
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Kyle and the Jingle of Doom

Submitted to Contest #299

There are only three things in this world that can make a man question his will to live: losing his job, living with his mother-in-law, and the jingle for adult diapers playing on loop in his nightmares — I, unfortunately, have all three.Let me introduce myself. I’m Kyle Brenner, formerly known as “The Voice Behind Hot Pockets,” currently known as “Susan’s disappointing son-in-law who can’t even load a dishwasher correctly.” Two months ago, I was sitting in a corner office at MelodyMinds Creative, collecting royalties every time someone humm...

43 likes 22 comments 22
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Royal the Dancing Sea Lion on the Ship Destiny's Dreams

Submitted to Contest #299

Royal the Sea Lion knew he could out-blubber all the other sea lions. He could out-roar them too. He loved the satisfaction of hearing his own guttural voice echoing over the ocean."So musical," he thought.He hauled his 1000 pounds of wobbling blubber across the sand to the ocean with ripples bouncing. He paused, and raised his head and neck in his favorite pose so he could be admired."Aaarrrrrgggghhh."He sent a raspy bark across the the water.Then he erupted like a volcano and spewed out another one even louder."AAAAaaaaaaarrrrrgggh." He si...

28 likes 21 comments 21
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Maybe I Should Keep the Mothballs

Shortlisted for Contest #299 ⭐️

In my twenties, when I left the nest to rent a tiny flat, my mother, always practical, gave me a box of mothballs.“Keep them in your drawer to fend off moths. You don’t want holes in your garments.”Two years later, I moved to a larger apartment. The mothballs came with me, just in case. They remained buried and forgotten at the back of a drawer for over four decades.Life guarantees challenges. Over the years, stuff accumulated. When basement storage space ran out and overstuffed closets turned into avalanches, I resorted to using my balcony ...

27 likes 24 comments 24
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Death at Middleton Kindergarten

Submitted to Contest #299

“Today we are alive, and what matters is today.”— The character Berlin, in Money HeistThe universe has played a cruel joke on us. Planet earth? A doomed rock spiralling toward the sun. And our beloved sun? A half spent fusion reactor which will one day explode in a supernova. All circling a black hole at the center of the Milky Way which waits to consume everything. No matter how large of a rocket Elon might build, there is no escape for humanity.Closer to home, America’s the same sort of joke. They made us believe our vote matters in a sea ...

18 likes 7 comments 7
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Me and the Cat

Submitted to Contest #299

Me and the CatThe battle between me and the cat start over a piece of chicken. I remember that day as if it was yesterday…Wait! It was yesterday. Well anyway. The cat stole my piece of chicken. It was a savor chicken breast. My mouth is still watery from the moist of the chicken. It is the type of chicken that you heard people say that they will slap someone (mostly their mothers) because it taste that good. So, I was sitting at the table eating the wonderful piece of chicken as tears of joy was coming down my eyes. It was that good. I was s...

18 likes 27 comments 27
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Call of Domestic Duty, by Declan, age forty one and a half

Submitted to Contest #299

It’s just after ten in the morning. I’ve been awake for four hours and it feels like it should be bedtime already. After the battle of the breakfast table (cornflakes or toast Maisie? No, we don’t have smashed avocado), I dispatched the kids to school, well, I shoved them through the gates (‘Yes Alfie, you do have fish paste on your sandwiches, and yes, that’s all there is.’) and ran like my life depended on it. Since then, I’ve folded a pile of laundry, half of which I’m sure doesn’t belong to anyone in this house, fished a Lego man and one...

16 likes 14 comments 14
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PROTEIN!

Submitted to Contest #299

Commander: Damn it, man! That was a complete waste of time and an extremely negligent use of our limited resources. Do you think this fleet can just continue to search the galaxies forever?Intelligence Officer: I am most sorry, sir. The data indicated that this would be a target-rich environment. We had every reason to believe that it would be ripe for harvest.Commander: So, what happened?Intelligence Officer: Well sir, the planet was indeed abundantly populated by the dominant species, just as our models predicted, however we could not know...

15 likes 21 comments 21
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Ent, the Mouse: A True Story from Childhood

Submitted to Contest #299

My brother Ted was endowed with the gift of creative mischief. From a young age, he could imitate voices and mannerisms, reenact scenarios most people found mundane, and have an audience splitting their sides with laughter. He had an uncanny way of unmasking hypocrisy, uplifting the underdog, the lonely and despised, and sprinkling any drudgery or pessimism with his magic powder of fun and positivity. His energy and sense of adventure was unmatched. Few grownups could keep pace with him, but that’s what I loved about him.My brother and I wer...

13 likes 10 comments 10
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Make Me Laugh,Seriously!

Submitted to Contest #299

Write a story to make the reader laugh. Hold your horses, I think I’ve got this. Wait for it, you know what happens next. Absolutely nothing! One hundred percent writer’s block just settled its ugly head on my keys. My friends are laughing at the boastful way I told them how it would be me this time. I would be the winner of the prize. I told them all that I was taking them out for a beer. Ha ha. I get up from my typewriter and head to the kitchen for a snack. I stare at the abyss of the open refrigerator waiting for inspiration. ...

12 likes 12 comments 12
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Invasion

Submitted to Contest #299

Invasion I see aliens. Or at least one little green man with an alien type head sporting slanted black eyes. He's carrying a six-foot four-inch tall young man in blue jeans and a yellow shirt on his shoulders. As if that's not crazy enough I also see a nine-foot tall pink great white shark standing on his tail fin giving me that old evil eye. It gets worse. A cocky rooster and an American eagle complete with an Uncle Sam top hat in red, white and blue are strutting about shaking their tail feathers challenging each other to bring it on. Bot...

12 likes 9 comments 9
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No Joke, Not Funny

Submitted to Contest #299

Steven said, “Listen… a rabbi, a pope and…”I said, “Stop.”“What’s the matter?”“I’ve heard it.”He said, “No. You couldn’t have. I just made it up. It’s hilarious. You’ll love it.”It could have been the first joke ever told and I wouldn’t love it.“Not likely…”He leaned in. “Let me try.”“Do I have to be here?”“Come on. Let me tell you the joke. It’ll kill you.” “I don’t want to die. I’m trying to eat my dinner. Seriously, I’ll pass. If I have to listen to one more of your jokes…”“But this one’s funny.” “What if it isn’t?”“Please, Carrie? I’ll m...

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Clean-up in Aisle 3

Submitted to Contest #299

As I splay out on my couch, making a weak attempt at levitating the toys back into the play-trunk, my youngest son runs through the back door holding a metal trash can lid like a shield in one hand and in the other hand is a crude, tinfoil sword. He appears to be covered in blood, from head to toe, but the pungent familiar condiment smell is likely why I am not more alarmed. I simply ask, “Are we out of catsup and foil now, too?”Of course, it's raining but having run out of toilet-paper this morning, we need to go grocery shopping. I relucta...

10 likes 9 comments 9
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I WAS A CHILDHOOD VAMPIRE

Submitted to Contest #299

I Was a Childhood VampireBy Diane Head I was seven years old when my father allowed me to watch Bela Lugosi’s famous 1931 portrayal of Dracula. Why he allowed it never ceases to confound me. It was the start of a brief childhood obsession with vampires and was to be the cause of another incident that came back to bite me many years later. I sat next to my dad on the couch to view the old vampire movie. We had plenty of popcorn and I squeezed in under Dad’s arm, riveted to the TV. I was hooked like a prize fish. From the...

9 likes 1 comment 1
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