65 comments

Kids Fantasy Funny

I was always confused about my thoughts. I was happy fulfilling people's need and their expectations. That's what my father had taught me. First I fulfilled my dying mother's wish, then my father's wish, then my step-sister's wish, they by stepmoms wish, and now Prince's wish.

I had to tell him what I felt because there was an uncertain burden on my chest of my feelings. He is the only person that ever tried to know me and understand my emotions Hence, I cannot hide my true intentions.

I hear his footsteps and immediately set my bun with flowers and spray the lavender scent. He opens the door softly and enters my room with faint steps. His face gleams, and he strolls to my makeup table.

He pecks my forehead and draws a chair towards me.

"Do you know? You are so lucky for me. I made a pact with my neighboring country, and our trade is going to flourish."

A smile was plastered on his face and a beam of self-confidence was radiating from him.

"You always taught me that to cherish and show 'courage with kindness' which has greatly impacted my life." He said. "And I don't think I would never have understood its true meaning unless I had found you at the ball."

I gulped down my tears and palmed his face in my hands. With a heavy breath, I uttered.

"I want to say something." I know it tough, but I don't think I could contain it longer.

"Yes, go on," He said. " I know you will have something worth to say."

We heard a tap on the door. A messenger entered and called the Prince for some urgent news. The prince sent him with the assurance that he will come to the Royal Court soon.

"So, what were you saying Ella?"

I was not sure if he was ready to hear about my feelings. The ongoing pact with the other kingdoms was pondering his mind. So, he needed some space for these ongoing arrangements.

"You should not wear this robe while meeting the traders.," I said. "Try the Indigo robe and cufflinks when you go to meet them. It will show them the grace we carry with our kingdom."

He smiled and left. I was again drowned in my own thoughts.

My stepmother was jailed in our kingdom. Because you all know the pain she caused me due to my kindness and beauty. I had many things contained within me for the things she had done to me. The behavior she displaced, the actions she had done and the conspiracy she planned to hide my true identity against the Prince. I want to speak out all my buried emotions to her and make her see the impact of her actions.

I marched down the hallway and went to her cellar. When I reached there my breath stopped and my feet stuck to the ground.

She was in a pale blue dress and her face was covered with dirt. The beauty that she boasted about was all gone now. Her hairs were covered with cobwebs in place of brooches, and her feet were covered by chains instead of expensive sandals.

Her dull eyes fell on me and she gained her posture. She had a strange emotion in her eyes and tears flowed down her cheeks.

With a trembling voice, she mumbled, “How are you, Ella? I hope everything is fine and the kingdom is prospering.”

“Yes, mother the public is cherished and the seas are turning into gold.” I hated saying her mother, but she was wedded to my father once upon a time.

I came back to my room. Frustrated and tensed.

Why was I never good at expressing my feelings? I had the courage but never used it for showing off my emotions.

“Ella, are you back?”

I turn to see Anna holding a letter. It was a message from the Royal Court.

I open it to see the message which was directed to me.

Dear Ella

 We are going to hold a ball tonight to celebrate our ties with our neighbors. I request you to attend the ball in your best gowns. I know for sure you will surprise me with your look.

Waiting for you.

                                                                                             Yours forever

                                                                                                  Prince

I was not in the mood to attend the ball. But as I was a queen, I am obliged to follow my duties. I called for a coffee and some chocolate cake. It always soothed my nerves and calmed my senses.

My helping lady brought the tray full of goodies which made my mouth water and feet dance. She placed it on my reading table. The tray had coffee, chocolate truffle cake, strawberries dipped in molten chocolate, and eclairs. As I was to pounce upon my eatables. I heard a faint voice from my drawer.

“Did you forget us in the luxuries of palaces?”

I recognized the voice and rolled my eyes. Gus, my pet, and friend in my distress times. He came out with his bobbling tummy. I laughed out seeing him.

Instead of talking to me or asking me anything, he grabbed a slice of cake and started to gobble it up. I was upset with Gus too.

Yes, he was my friend, but his friendship was more with food rather than with me. Prince hated rats, so I had to hide Gus. I gave him a small cozy space in my drawer so no one could find him. But all he cares about his taste buds. He does not even care about my hunger or cravings. I stood up from there and start to walk towards my closet. He calls me from behind.

“Hey, where are you going? Don’t you want to eat your portion?”

I turn to see a coin-sized piece of cake was left for me. I was about to bash him with my harsh words, but his chocolate-filled cheeks melted my heart.

“I am not hungry anymore. Enjoy the buffet.”

I grab the cup of coffee and head towards my walk-in closet. It was the only thing that I cherished in the present. The satin gowns, the lace embroidered skirts, the scarves, the jeweled tiaras, the feathered hats, and the famous glass slippers. All were showcased here. It was like a part of my life now. The glass slippers were framed in a glass box, refrained to be touched.

This was the only item that I love the most. It was delicate yet strong. It was glamorous yet simple. I removed it carefully from the case and let my feet slip into it.

The shoes were nostalgic to me. It reminded me of both good and bad times.

But right now I have to get ready for the ball. I press the bell and poof she appears with a shower of sparkles. If you haven’t guessed. She is the infamous Fairy Godmother.

After the success of my life and my story. She changed her career because she had always a taste for dresses and shoes. So, she turned out to be my personal stylist. I did not appoint her the position, she made it for herself. Well, she changed my life and took me out of shambles. So, I had to be humble and generous to her ideas and styles.

“ What is the occasion today? I do have some ideas in my mind.” She waved her wand and a book dropped in my lap. Yes, with the shower of glitter.

“Can, I say you something Fairy Godmother?” I replied timidly.

“Yes, dear why not?” She giggled and gave me a weird look.

“Can you stop the drama of the glitter when you enter?” Her expression soared. “Like can you decrease a bit, because later it gets tough to clean the carpet?”

Finally, I said something to her which she will never agree on.

“I haven’t asked about your opinion. Tell me the occasion to prepare you for.” She roared.

“Well, we are having a ball tonight. It's kind of political yet friendly. With all our neighboring kingdoms and states. So, I have to dress diplomatically yet elegant.” I said everything with fast breaths. “So, I was thinking of light lilac color with lace at the..”

“Stop.” She Shouted.

“I have a great idea, and the Prince will love it.”

Before I could say something she waved her wand on my dress and the transformation began.

You must be thinking that she has made the most gorgeous and beautiful gown ever. Then why I was not trusting her choice.

First, I hated the color blue. I wanted a gown in a light pink color. She had turned the volume of the gown so big that I had to squeeze in my chariot. The gown was tight on my torso that after the ball. I was left with marks and scratches. And all the time either she gives me tight-fitting clothes or a loose mid escape gown. Her magic could not even find the right size of my waist.

My transformation got completed and I felt tight bondage towards my chest. This time she made the gown smaller than my actual size.

“So, let me describe the dress to you. The gown from your waist to toe is having all the national flags and the slogans of your respective neighboring countries.” She continued. “ And your upper waist has the markings and coloring of your flag. On the belt I have drawn the ships and sea creatures, remarking the trade between waters. And the outfit is made up of pure lotus silk, to show the richness of the kingdom.”

I was standing in front of the mirror looking like a flag store. The gown is so full of colors that it merged into one color.

I felt that the rainbow too had fewer colors compared to my gown.

I was looking like a circus clown.

Fairy Godmother stood beside me and said, “How did you like the gown?”

She had changed my life in one night and has made me an inspiration to thousands of girls, and millions of people. It would be better if I fake praised her rather than giving her harsh critiques.

“It’s the best dress you have made so far. I love you, Godmother. Thanks for helping me always.”

We had a microsecond emotional connection between us until she did this.

“I think I am missing something.” She waved her wand and I was dressed in the shower of glitter. Here goes my carpet.

January 12, 2021 06:44

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65 comments

Radhika Diksha
07:08 Jan 12, 2021

Hi everybody. Hope all are fine and healthy. So this time I tried something different so would love your honest feedback. Could you guess the character and the fairy tale?

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Writer Maniac
12:27 Jan 12, 2021

Cinderella! I really liked the concept itself but felt like it could have been developed in a better way. I found a few grammar and sentence structure mistakes. It was a good story, but it can be improved.

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Radhika Diksha
12:32 Jan 12, 2021

Ok, I will keep the point in my mind. Can you suggest how it can be improved?

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Writer Maniac
12:34 Jan 12, 2021

Maybe by showing a little bit more of her relationship with the prince after their marriage, and also digging a little further into her relationship with her stepmother and stepsisters

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Radhika Diksha
12:38 Jan 12, 2021

I had to round up all the characters hence I could not get into the details. And I presume we all know her relationship with her stepmother and sister from the fairytale. Hence I felt it would sag the storyline. if I am going to make a part about it I will definitely keep your point in my mind.

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Writer Maniac
12:40 Jan 12, 2021

Yes, that makes sense, but you could have focused on one in particular because I felt like one second it was one character, the next second it was someone else, so it was a bit rushed

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Danny
12:28 Jan 12, 2021

Ohh great story! It gave me cinderella vibes with all the courage and kindness stuff, and I was righttt, when reading the part with the glass slipper :)) Can't wait for the next part (if there's one) Let me know if you choose to make a part 2, I loooooved this story and I'll be probably sleep thinking of what happens next Great job! :DD

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Radhika Diksha
12:34 Jan 12, 2021

I was not thinking of the part 2 plot. I am glad that you liked my stories and your feedback was valuable.

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Danny
12:54 Jan 12, 2021

Of course :DD

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I really enjoyed this story Radhika!

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Radhika Diksha
14:45 Jan 12, 2021

Thank you so much.

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Your welcome!

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. .
12:53 Jan 12, 2021

Hey Radhika! I would recommend that you need to use a better character scheme and show us more of HER and HER everyday quirks. Make her a well rounded character. I loooooooooooooove twisted disney tales, and this was very good!! You should check out the Twisted Tale series by Jen Calonita, Liz Braswell, and Elizabeth Lim.

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Radhika Diksha
13:44 Jan 12, 2021

The competition is of short story hence I write them short. I already used 2000 words so I could not invest more in character. I displayed what I felt about the prompt and wanted to show her thinking about the people she was surrounded by.

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. .
13:45 Jan 12, 2021

Ok, well I loved it!!

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Radhika Diksha
13:50 Jan 12, 2021

Thanks. So how is your school going. And I wanted to thank you for establishing this Marshmallow group. It has really helped a lot of pf people over here. Why did you think of marshmallow as its name?

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. .
13:52 Jan 12, 2021

My school is going great!! Me, Nainika, and Mira were part of a group on here that wasn't a downvote police yet just a friend group, and then celeste joined and Jen, and then Celeste had the idea to make it a downvote police and here we are!! It was inspired by Mira saying she felt like a marshmallow in hot cocoa when we complimented her.

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Radhika Diksha
14:02 Jan 12, 2021

Oh, that's wonderful. Your school is going online or offline? Are you having tests?

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Kate Reynolds
12:58 Jan 12, 2021

Hello! I loved how you wrote about Cinderella’s life after her “success”! I thought it was really creative, and it fit the prompt wonderfully! Great job! :D

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Frances Reine
13:12 Feb 04, 2021

Honestly, I have no critique. This entire story was sparkly. Maybe because it was crafted from the helping hands of a fairytale. But there's more. You've given these characters actual things to relate to, which is hard to find in fairytales because they're so vague. Who would've thought this prompt would get to try on a glass shoe?

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Radhika Diksha
13:17 Feb 04, 2021

Thanks. You gave me a very dreamy and fairy critique. I was hoping a lot that this story would get shortlisted but id didn't. But it's ok, nothing can stop me.

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Frances Reine
13:21 Feb 04, 2021

Yes, let nothing stop you :)

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Radhika Diksha
13:24 Feb 04, 2021

So, what are doing now? Working on any new story.

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Frances Reine
13:25 Feb 04, 2021

Kind of burnt out, haha. How about you?

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Radhika Diksha
13:32 Feb 04, 2021

Same here. I just want a new set of prompts to refresh me. This week I was totally mentally exhausted.

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Julian Race
13:13 Jan 31, 2021

Can you please remove your unwanted comments from my story “The Great Escape II” - All of them!

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Radhika Diksha
13:38 Jan 31, 2021

Look I was explaining to you the misunderstanding that had caused us. I did not comment anything bad on it. You have put blame on me due to somebody's other comment. Which I did not even know nor did I request him to give a comment to you. He comments on everybody's stories that are not my fault. You blamed me, talked with me in disrespect still I ignored it. You delete your comments from my story oasis. First of all, I did not invite you to my club. Second I did not advertise your profile to anyone. So stop troubling me. And don't threaten...

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Salma Jarir
21:44 Jan 28, 2021

Hiii! I WAS recommended to inform u you that I want to paticipate in the Club "Oasis"?if u can ?

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Radhika Diksha
02:35 Jan 29, 2021

You are now a member of Oasis. Just follow the guidelines and write oasis and the writer of the week in your bio.

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Salma Jarir
10:51 Jan 29, 2021

Sure!! Thanks^_^

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13:27 Jan 19, 2021

If this is cinderella like people are saying below, I commend you. I'm actually reading a twisted version of it right now, and I love your take on it! I've wanted to do this for a long time now!

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Radhika Diksha
15:25 Jan 19, 2021

Thank you so much. Your feedback really matters to me.

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Hi Radhika! WOW, this was an amazing twist for Cinderella story! Really loved how detailed it was! Great work:)

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Echo Sundar
20:20 Jan 14, 2021

Wow! I liked this story. At first, I was a little bit confused but then Is saw the shoes and I was like wait and hen the godmother and I was like ohhhh I get it now. SO then things started to make sense. I was like that's why her moms in jail that's why she queen things started to tie together. And I really like your spoof on a well-known fairy tale, it felt familiar but also new and different. You also made it sad. with no one listening to her. All in all this story was really great!

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Radhika Diksha
01:54 Jan 15, 2021

Thanks, Rachel. You Don't seem to write these days. Why?

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Echo Sundar
16:10 Jan 15, 2021

Well.. it's just because the prompts don't spark a story. Sometimes I look at a prompt and instantly a story comes to mind like poof but sometimes like for the last couple of weeks. Nothing. Like I didn't get any ideas so I don't write a story while there times I write three because three storys come to mind. But I don't know I just haven't been getting any ideas.

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Yolanda Wu
23:23 Jan 12, 2021

I loved this different version of Cinderella! It was familiar, but you added your own input into her character and her relationship with the prince, which I thought was really well done. Her little interaction with her stepmother was also really interesting in the way you described how she has deteriorated through her clothing. The part at the end with the dress and the Fairy Godmother was so exciting and totally iconic! I can just imagine her dress in my head. Amazing story, Radhika!

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Radhika Diksha
03:31 Jan 13, 2021

thanks, Yolanda

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✨Abby ✨
20:57 Jan 12, 2021

I loved this!!!! Beautiful job!! Keep up the amazing work, Radhika.

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Hahahhahaaaaaaa yes! Love it! And the ending was amazing! Yes!

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Radhika Diksha
18:41 Jan 12, 2021

Thanks for the feedback.

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Maya
12:54 Jan 12, 2021

This was a great spinoff of Cinderella! You did a great job showing the difference between what Ella wanted to say, and what she actually ended up saying. All the characters you introduced had an interesting personality and really added to the story. I loved how you made the godmother more of an annoyance to Ella, the part about the glitter and the carpet was really funny. Amazing job!!! :)

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Radhika Diksha
13:47 Jan 12, 2021

Thank you so much, Maya. Even I would love to read your stories but you seem to write a lot of series. And I am not a fan of series. Can you suggest to me your nonseries story?

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Maya
13:50 Jan 12, 2021

Thanks! The only stories of mine that are series are "Banished" and "The Sanctuary (Banished 2)", the rest are stand alone. :)

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Radhika Diksha
13:51 Jan 12, 2021

I am going right away to read it.

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Maya
13:52 Jan 12, 2021

Thank you so much!

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