The Old Lady

Submitted into Contest #94 in response to: Start your story with someone accepting a dare.... view prompt

5 comments

Horror Thriller Mystery

"Ok go ahead do it" said Jonathan to his younger brother. "Wait, repeat it again brother". Jonathan cleared his throat and again whispered to John saying "so your gonna go, snatch that old lady's purse, bring it to me and then returned it back to her and say it’s a joke" Jonathan and John were both giggling at the idea of the dare as it seemed more like a prank on a friend, expect the old lady wasn't any friend or acquaintance but just an old lady. They knew that they weren't doing anything wrong as it seemed because if it were, then the two of them would be doing an act of crime as they stole the purse. Their intention was clear and pre-decided.

"Alright now go and stop making stupid excuses by asking me again" he laughed while saying. John approached the old lady in slow motion, he was observing his surroundings to see if anyone was spying on him. The path was clear, everything in his mind was about getting that purse to fulfill just a small little dare given by his older brother. The old lady had her back faced towards John, making it easy for him to take away her purse. As he got closer to her, he grabbed the purse with full force, turned away and ran in the direction of his brother. While running he glanced back to see if the old woman was going to do anything. At his surprise she just stayed there in the same position without moving an inch. John stopped running and stood there, he watched her but there was nothing that the old lady did. It started to become creepy when the old lady didn’t do anything, not even turn around and look back. Meanwhile Jonathan was waiting still and yelled at his brother to return back to him soon.

When john came back, his brother asked “what took you so long…anyways you’ve got the purse I see”. John didn’t say a word out of surprise.

“Hey, say something…what’s wrong why you look so worried? We’d return her purse back dummy.”

It was a long pause until he replied saying “the women…she didn’t do anything.”

“Because she’s old, how dumb are you” Jonathan laughed while saying.

 John explained to his brother that the woman did not even care that her purse was stolen, she didn’t even look back while he was standing and observing let alone running back to his brother. After hearing this from his brother Jonathan was amazed as well, he couldn’t believe what was going on. He asked his brother to go back and return the purse and see what happens. But he was reluctant and scared after what just happened.

“No, you go, I’ve done my part of the dare…it’s your turn to return it” answered John.

“What! The dare was for you to take the purse away from her and give it back to her by yourself.”

Being 16 years of age, Jonathan wasn’t as matured as his other school mates. So he was as stubborn as his little brother who was 11. John was still reluctant and begged Jonathan to go. After all the arguments, the two decided to go together and return the purse.

The town was empty and only few people were around. As the two approached the old lady, John discovers that the woman still didn’t move a muscle as he tells Jonathan that she was in the same position when he first approached her. This brought shivers down the spine on both of them as they kept walking towards her in a pace of a snail. It was like she wasn’t human, a statue stood in front of them with her back facing towards the two brothers. What felt like a game of fun at first, turned into a game of terror as the two was whispering to each other what to say to her. Finally as they made it near to her, the two maintained 5 meter distance. Usually when someone is behind you, you get the presence in your head without looking back. But in this case, the old dame didn’t feel anything, until she made a weird voice that sounded like a cry. Her cry showcased pain, agony and guilt, but the cry transitioned into a deep groan and anger. The two boys were holding their hands together tight, they felt like dropping the purse and making a run. Until, the old lady ultimately turned her around. What happened next was one of the twos’ most frightening moments of their lives. Jonathan and john witnessed the old lady’s eyes were red and she had the look of a demon. John screamed and pulled his brothers hands to run, but Jonathan stood there still with his eyes wide open as if a doctor was checking his eyes.

His brother cried “Jonathan come on, what are you doing please listen to me” Eventually Jonathan came back to his conscious and saw the old lady’s eyes again but this time the two brothers saw her eyes started to bleed. Jonathan and john escaped from that demonic creature. Instead of going back to the same place where the game started, they ran into a grassy area and stopped for a while.

Both haven’t spoken a word yet, the feelings of what just happened didn’t soak in completely. John stared at his brother and then questioned him “what happened there, why you were standing there like a statue.” Jonathan didn’t answer him, in fact he told his brother that they should head home. John obeyed him and the two frightened souls walked off. On their way Jonathan felt ill and threw up.

 “Oh my god! Jonathan you need to see a doctor…lets go home and tell mom” john said.         

“No! Don’t tell mother, we can’t afford to go to the doctor. Mom is already worried about the money.”

As Jonathan said this, he could see his poor little brother’s eyes filled with tears and disappointment, not because of what just happened but because of what their family has been through. Their father had passed away when they were just growing up, the living condition is poor as they lived in a low class village which was dirty and poor. All this came into their head as they stared at each other. Since john looked broken and tears couldn’t stop releasing more, his brother hugged him. As they hugged him, Jonathan told john what exactly happened to him when he saw the wicked woman.

“I…I froze, my eyes were being squeezed out of pain and I couldn’t move myself. John, it felt like I was not me anymore, it was like as if the lady was controlling me”

“Oh no” uttered john.

“And one more thing little brother” he said while crying quietly “When my eyes were locked on hers, in my head, my imagination showed me that…”

“That?” John worriedly asked. 

“In that imagination I saw the old lady in it and she was…”

“She was what Jonathan say it”

“I just can’t, it’s scary that’s why I didn’t want to say it earlier” he cried.  

As Jonathan was going to say what happened, a lightning struck hard, unusual as it was an ordinary evening. The lightning was so rough that the two couldn’t see anything as their eyes were flashed out. As the two opened their eyes, a figure appeared in front. The shock on their face says it all as they witnessed a ghost – the old lady. She stood before them but this time her face had a wicked smile, and the same red demonic eyes. Both fell on the ground and pleaded her to go away. The demonic creature locked eyes with Jonathan again, as he was again still and static.

“Oh no Jonathan!” yelled his younger brother.

Out of nowhere, the woman pulled out a knife and got closer to Jonathan, and began pointing the knife on his heart. She then pointed the knife at poor John signaling him that she was about to do something unpleasant. In front of his brother, the demon began stabbing Jonathan rapidly which made john cry the loudest he has ever cried. The woman laughed and disappeared through another lightning.

John had no energy left in him to walk towards his dead brother. But he eventually did. Out of his surprise he found Jonathan still alive, merely breathing. He cried on him, holding him tight and said “oh Jonathan, why did this happen…why!”

Jonathan in his broken voice said to his brother “john I saw that in my imagination…that’s why I was afraid to tell you”

“You should have told me, we would have done something” john cried.

After he said those words, Jonathan passed away. He returned home empty handed; no brother by his side. He had no idea how to explain the tragedy that occurred, but he said anyways. He knew his mother wouldn’t believe the truth. So he lied to her about the way he died, implying that he died by a car accident. His mother fell on the floor and started crying loudly as she lost her beloved son, who didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to him. She lost her husband and now her older son. What more can happen in this world we live in right now, this town that is cursed and broken, holding dead souls to haunt the people. Again, what felt like a game of fun turned into a game of terror.   

May 21, 2021 19:59

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5 comments

Megan Sutherland
12:41 May 23, 2021

hiiii so you asked me to follow and I wasn't ready to do that yet, so I decided to come check out your story. I like the plot here, but what threw me off immediately were your grammar and spelling errors. That can usually stop a reader from pushing through and finishing the story. If you don't mind me asking, what platform do you use when you write? I think you have a lot of room to grow in your writing(don't get me wrong, a lot of people do, including myself) so don't give up. Ps how did you find my page? Just curious hehe -Meg

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Alvin Fernandes
12:00 May 25, 2021

Hey, sure no problem. Thanks for checking out my story, appreciate it. I use word document and then I copy paste it on Grammarly. Yes your right regarding my errors as I just started my writing journey. So thanks for the feedback really appreciate it. I found your page in the same prompt competition while I was scrolling ;) - Alvin

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Megan Sutherland
13:45 May 25, 2021

Lol! Since you have Google (I'm assuming) I suggest using Google Docs. That's what I use, and it automatically checks for spelling/grammar errors. It saves everything in your Google drive, so it will be backed up as well.

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Alvin Fernandes
12:37 May 26, 2021

yes sure. I'll check it out. Thanks btw, good luck for all your writings in the future.

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Megan Sutherland
17:04 May 26, 2021

Yeah, ofc!

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