Golden Hour

Thursday June 20,2024

It is like I am seeing everything for the first time. My eyes are open, and the world is finally mine for the taking, only to be snatch away. If someone would have asked me where I saw myself in the future, there would not have been an answer. I was- I am a ghost, I have no family, any friends, no one to say goodbye to. An ordinary life, a disposable soul for no one to mourn for. There was no reason to live, I have nothing to sacrifice. I am the perfect candidate, their best lab rat. Their motto “Pushing the limits of reality to the stars”. Sounds like bull to me but here we are, my last day on earth, my last breath before the curtains closed. I never thought they make it this far, hell I thought most of this is impossible. There was no faith from me in this little science project of theirs. I did not care about any of it, but the money was nice. They kept a roof over my head, food in my belly, I was grateful. But then they made waves, they broke barriers and they push the limits of my reality. Every day was remarkable. I saw history being made before my very eyes and I was the cornerstone of their operation. I was the missing piece; I was someone to them. I believed and now their success is mine and I must push forward. The fear is eating me alive, as it should, still shows I am human...

I walk through the base and the sounds of the protesters wails throughout the halls. Their screaming still sends chills down my body. Most of the world have argued against our cause. They believe we are trying to play god. Dabbling in things that is beyond our measure of thinking, but I digress. The scientists are rambling about barely putting one foot into the other. Everyone passing by me and stares with joy and purpose…

I passed through the corridors of the hallway in the main executive room. Dr. Valentine, head of the entire operation, stand on the balcony of his office. Overlooking the scientists going about their day. Their collective voices bounce off the white porcelain floors, and chrome walls. Then suddenly silence. As usual when I passed through the office all eyes are on me. I try to push my shoulders back and stand proud, but this is too much even for a narcissist. My eyes shift toward the balcony only to stared down the chief and wait for his beckoning call. He gestured toward his office and I begin my climb to Mount Everest. I finally begin to reach the end of my ascend then a voice shrills out to me.

“Zach, thank God I found you!”- Molly shout from across the room. Only a voice like that can thrill me and bring a smile to my face. I turn around ready to walk down but there she was. As fast a lightening right in front of me squeezing the life out of me.

“Oh! How can someone so small be so strong?”

“I got good bones don’t you think”, she said proudly as she stands back and wait for me to admire her lanky arms. She starts to do the T pose and smiles. Her raven colored hair sway with every movement under her lavender cardigan. She laughs I stand there and smile. “No, let me show you how to do it.” I smugly walk up. Barely my arms up before I tumble and land flat on my face. “Smooth Zach very smooth” Dr. Valentine comment behind me. Startled by his presence, I jump up and turn around, heat rises to my cheeks, shame falls over my body as I cowers before him. “Sorry sir my horse playing caused him to act in manner that is not acceptable.” I shot straight

“No sir I take full responsibility for my indecency no one forced me to act this way-”

“I don’t care this is your last day, be silly If you want” He smiles and nod his head

Molly began to twiddle her fingers “So If this is his last day, how about a day off-”

“No! that’s fine I am proud to spend to my last day here sir”

“Oh, for Christ sake Zach live a little- “Dr. Valentine smile fades “- while you still have it”. He walks back into his grayed-lit office. Silence fills the room before I could muster anything to say. “All right well, we should be off- “

“We!”, I turn around to look at her with excitement.

“Of course, I cannot let wander this base gloomy and teary eyed. You’re a bit of drag no offense, let us forget about what going to happen tonight an enjoy today.” She shines that beautiful smile my way that can make a blind man’s day. Lost in trance I agreed to her wistful arrangements.

Before I knew it, we were off base passing by the typical protesters and large metal gates. I look back at the base and saw my future leading be away. I hold my journal tightly in my hands. Molly catches me staring back and say “Relax, it’s not going anywhere. What do you write in that thing anyways?” I sit back and try to do as she says. “Nothing just a memoir. I always wanted to do an autobiography or have a diary, but my life was so mundane. I had nothing to share, until now.” She looks at me with despair and tries to catch it before I look in her general direction.

But I saw it, “I know my place in this world. I know how they see me… How you pity me. But I am not ashamed. This project needs me, you all need me, and I give my body to science, immortalized for the world to see. What a way to go.” She looks at me with dread as if she is holding something back. “What is wrong Molly” I try to comfort her.

“Zach… I need to tell you something- “.

The driver shouted from the front of the car “We made it, here are your tickets, hope you all have a good time.” Our eyes shot towards him as he startled us. He stares at Molly in the rearview mirror. Her discomfort turned into fear. Before I could ask “Is everything okay M- “Yes”- she hops out of the car.

“Everything is fine, let’s go have some fun, shall we?”. She stares at me with her hand out waiting for me to reach it. I give one last glance to the driver and l catch her hand.

The sound of children screaming and playing in the background. The flashing lights from the mini games blinks in Morse code beckoning for their next victim. The aroma of sugar and fried sweets fill the air around me. The animated rides before us. The all-consuming Ferris wheel towers over about to assert it's dominance. I felt a kid once again, my favorite place on earth all together wrap in a bow for me to breathe in one more time. I glance towards Molly; she looks as if this place has called out to her like me. The streetlights are on and out mother shouting in the distance.

“How did you know I love going to fair?”, she looks and me in bewilderment.

“Who doesn’t love to go to the fair?” There she goes running away with the brightest smile I have ever seen. My entire world in one glance, my universe turning in one smile…

We did everything we could with little tickets we had left. Trying to throw knock milk bottles to ordering one extra-large deep-fried funnel cake. Rode the rail blazer, the drop tower, and the grizzly. After vomiting on the outskirts of each ride. We both deciding to relax on one of the best rides every made, the Ferris wheel. We begin to ride and reach the highest peak their look over the city, see the golden gate bridge to our right. I was in awe. The sun begins to set. Where the sky meets the earth and kiss, there nothing more beautiful than this moment, well one more.

“Look, Molly how can anyone question God’s existence.” She looks at me and smile, her bifocals reflecting off the light.

“Yeah it’s beautiful. They called it golden hour, where everything come together and become one.”

“No matter how tiny I feel in this unforgivable world, being up here makes me feel like a king. That is it, just one second the world is looking at me and I matter Molly”

She turns to look in my direction. The golden sunlight refracting off her midnight hair and vivid green eyes. “You matter to me Zach; you always have and always will.”

“Seems when everything is ending I can only on think of how this all started.” I will never forget this moment, the sun, and her right by my side.

“It was all worth it. You are worth it, never let anyone tell you otherwise M.” I take a chance and slowly lean in for a kiss- her phone rings. This moment erased by a phone call. She looks at it fear and see Dr. Valentine on the id.

“Shit! sorry sir we are still here.” Disappointment filled her face “Yes sir we are owned our way. “She hangs up the phone.

“Is everything okay you seem a bit distraught before in the car and now.” She looks around us in hope of see the driver, but he was nowhere in sight. As we leap off the ride she begins to spring into action towards the car. Shifting and swaying through workers and citizens. Everything begin to move so fast around me, the world was spinning, and it would not stop. I tried to call out her name but the ground left from under and all I saw was darkness.

“Zach!” Her voice calls out to me fading away.

I was awakened by the sound of the EKG monitor sitting next to me on the right of my bed side. The beep of my heart rate stayed a steady stream as the doctors converse with one another. Confusion filled their face, as they stare at me. I try not to make any sudden movements, it seems as if my constant state was a surprise to all, even me. I felt fine this morning, ready to start my day, only to struggle raising my hand for their attention now. I tried to move my mouth, but nothing was coming out. My eyes widen and I begin to shuffle about hoping they would notice me. But the doctors and scientists were too busy trying to figure out what cause this tragedy. Till I heard a familiar voice.

“Stop guys, he trying to talk to us.” Molly push and shoved past the scientists trying to get to my bedside. Even in a state of distraught she is still beautiful. How is that even possible? How can someone be so perfect? As she gets closer to me, I reach out my hand. Plastic tubes and wires restrict me from reach her palm she comes closer so we can connect. This feels so right, her hand in mines. Her eyes seem puffy and cloudy as if she been crying for me. I muster up some strength to ease her worries, “Do not cry… for me”. She shook her head trying to hold back any tears she had left. “You don’t understand Zach”, she whispers. Confused and vexed I began to ask her, “What? Tell me Molly. It seems I don’t have that much life in me. If everyone is worried about the project. I still volunteer my life to this cause. I believe in this. I believe in you.

“Your permission was never an issue for us.” Molly looks back and scowl at Dr. Valentine.

“No! He doesn’t need to learn everything like this.” She says through gritted teeth.

“You wanted him to know so badly, didn’t you? You wanted him to know the truth Molly. It was you with a broken conscious not me. You cared and gave him kindness. I told you doing so will bring repercussions.”

“So what, not have a heart we’re still human Gus!”

“We are! Not- “Valentine eyes shifted and begin to walk slowly towards me. On bended knee near Molly.

“Zach, we own you… You are not- You are-”

“Let me say it Gus. If it comes from anyone, it’s going to come from me” Molly says sternly.

“What is going on guys? You’re scaring me?"

“Fear, good sign.” one of the scientist mouths off about.

“Zach, do you remember anything from your childhood. your teenage year and up to now.”

Confused on why she is asking me these questions. I try my hardest to think, “No, everything is a bit blurry, maybe I’m suppressing them or something.” I began to freak out, why can't I remember anything besides being here? Why is this place my most recent memory?

“The last thing I remember is meeting you and you showing me this place. All I remember about my past is that I was a nobody. No one ever cared about who I was. I was worth more at this facility than out there in the real world…

There must be an explanation. Molly stop lying to me. What is going on here? Who am I? “

She raises her head to look to me, with tearful eyes, “You are not a natural occurrence in the universe. You were born here, you had a surrogate mother, but you are not made like us. You are not human fully Zach. Dr. Valentine and I made you in this facility.”

“What!” struggles to leave my mouth. What is going on? What is happening to me? Why me?

“You are the next step of evolution for humanity. Your life has shown us a beautiful way into the future for us. Man-made creation-"

“A stronger better, more adapt human.” Dr. Valentine interrupted, “This blue world is not going to sustain human life anyone. For the past four years, every living organism on this planet is evolving and adapting to fit this world. We must too and your life is proof that we can.” He stands up and walks backward

“Everything was a lie.” The steady beeping began to speed up. “No, it wasn’t- we just didn’t tell you how you came to be”

“My memories as kid, the fair. Was that a lie too?”

“No, those were mine memories. We planted those into your memory. To give a sense of self.”, Dr. Valentine replied

“Without memories we are just husks ready die, doing this gives your body a foundation for a soul to form.”

“So, I am even real, like capable of- “I turned towards Molly,

“What I felt was real. The way I felt for you is real. Nothing else matters to me”. Molly smiles at me.

“Yes Zach, for me too.”

“You exceeded everyone expectations here, even mine. For that I give you my respect” Dr. Valentine bows towards me. He rises back up to look at me, signaling the end.

“Thank you.” I nod, giving him permission.

He walks towards Molly and place his hand lightly on her shoulder. “It’s time.” She closes her eyes, leftover tears stream down her face. It is unbearable to see her like this.

“It’s okay Molly, thank you for telling me the truth before it all end. There was a reason for me being here after all and now I know. You given that to me. For that I thank you.”

“This isn’t the end; you know that right?” Molly says through teary eyes

“I know, I will always remember you.”

All the doctors huddle up begin to spread out and follow procedure as Dr, Valentine gave them the order. He walks towards a stainless-steel desk and pulls out a metronome. Molly pulls away from and walks towards Dr. Valentine. Her eyes stay steady on me.

“Okay Zach, I like for you to close your mind and only focus on the metronome. Listen to the tempo as the instrument plays.” As he places the metronome onto the desk.

“Breathe in and out and listen”.

“Okay”. I try to follow instructions. Everyone began to walk away and look upon my dying corpse. Again, all eyes are on me and no one is saying anything. The doctors surround my body the fabric of their coats as they pass by one another begin to blur. My eyes feel heavy. I try to turn my head towards her. The first time we met begins to play in my head. I smile in her direction trying to reassure her, on my death bed comforting her. With everything that has happen. All the lies and emotions swaying through these metal halls. My body shuts down with every limb unable to move. I wonder have I made her proud? Has my existence become a gateway to more possibilities? After everything I've been through here all I can think about is her. Is this what it means to be human? Is the reasoning for the universe lies with her? Time began to pass longer with every beep of my heart.

“Subject 924

Operation: Successful

Vitals: Stable

Suspended Animation: In Progress”

This is the end and all I see her. That lavender cardigan, her raven hair dancing in the light and her emerald eyes looking at me. No one else but me and she is beautiful.