Wonder how 6 words, 9 syllables impacted my life with such tremendous force!

"Is it 25th of October today?” I thought to myself…..Ever since past 6 months I dreaded to remember the date…. I could die any moment maybe just mins later…..Life seems dull and dark….It seems meaningless… Pointless….Colorless…Why has it brought me this now ! What have I done to perish like this?

It was the 6th of march, a gloomy day, dark clouds engulfed the bright blue sky, It was the day to pay visit to Dr. Roy and get my test results. It felt as if my whole world had just collapsed when the Doctor paced the room, which heavily smelt of chlorine, my heart beat was racing, my breath was shallow and ragged, my limbs were tensed and I was so jittery, I couldn’t stop biting my nails!

 Dr. Roy was examining my reports and from the look on his face, I was getting a very bad feeling about all this. As he concluded my test results in his sharp, flat raspy voice, I felt as if his voice was reverberating all over the room ……it felt as if my heart just stopped beating, I was broken apart hearing those 6 words ….” Miss Jenny you have stomach cancer!”. It is a wonder how those 6 words, 9 syllables impacted my life with such tremendous force!

My heart hammered so hard against my chest, I thought I might break a rib or two. My throat was parched, my eye balls were sunken, my hair disheveled, my knees were wobbly, my teeth clattered, my 2 blue eyes stared into emptiness. My once, fun filled, perfect life now felt as if it was never anything more than just a dream, a dream that I longed to be true right now! The fury in me could not be stifled anymore…. I shrieked out loud.... letting all the pain in me flow out …. My eyes stung with tears as I badly wished this to be a nightmare…nothing more! My vision turned hazy as I gulped down the last bottle of liquor trying hard to suppress the growing fear in me of death! 

The shrill voice of my phone alarm snapped me back to the present. It was my time to swallow down my medicines. I swigged them down , felt my bald scalp tingle as I caught hold of my outworn cap and pulled it up covering my shaved head. It pained to remember my once gorgeous hair which once flowed down my waist. I succumbed my galling thoughts put on my joggers and forced myself to step out. It was queer how I had even lost my will to step out in this once marvelous world which now meant nothing to me . As I opened my front door, it was like stepping into a new world altogether. Sunlight shone on my face and my eyes took their time accustoming to it. It felt as if I had forgotten the warm touch of the radiant sun since I started living in my dark room with my dark thought jarred up. It was uncanny how my feet still remembered the way to the path and drove me there.

Shouts of children, chattering of mom’s, and chirping of birds filled my ears as I crunched the dead leaves under my foot whilst walking through the parks grandiloquent gates. Sweet aroma of flower’s filled my breath as the breeze blew softly on my face as if welcoming me. Out of the moon, a mesmerizing butterfly twerked infront of me! It was one of the most eloquent creatures I had ever admired! Its wings were a color of kiwi green, so soothing to see! It had black spots around kiwi green which just added to its elegant looks! I felt the corner of my mouth twist up and it hit me as fast as a lightning bolt that I had smiled in months! 

Just when I was still pondering over the butterfly, still awestruck by how it did something that many people failed to do! ( It had made me smile!) I felt a someone embracing me from behind, smothering me with kisses…. Ohh how could I forget Rachel’s touch ! I turned behind and buried myself in her hands and told her everything I was going through right now ! My thoughts begging to flow out…eating me up inside. I felt Rachael was the best person I could ever confide in…She was my childhood buddy who never failed to cheer me up ( I hope she doesn’t this time too though I do not have much expectations from her this instant)

“Jenny, you are a pleasure to my sore eyes !Its so good to see you ! I get it how you are feeling right now! I’m so elated you came here today and rejuvenized yourself...” Racheal chided. “Yea… I cant tell you how good it is to see you “ I smiled for the second time in months . “Jenny you were amazed weren’t you by that little but stupendous creature? Its not only its beauty that makes it special bity its nature towards life as well! I know I can’t feel what you are going through right now but think ,the butterfly is so carefree and jocund towards life though it is aware it only has a month at maximum before it dies. They spread happiness in what time they have…. they managed to get a smile on your face …something which even I couldn’t do! “she chuckled. I nodded cognitively. She continued “Enjoy life till you can! It’s a blissful journey not everyone is lucky to have! Stomach cancer does not stop you from living life to the fullest instead it provides you another reason to …. To prove people that even you can and you will rejoice life! “, she patted me affectionately whispered a “sorry I gtg “looking towards her dad waving at her! I embraced her one last time; I didn’t feel like pulling away from her but I forced myself too and traced my footsteps back to home. I now felt lighter and surprisingly more gay than I ever felt since I got cancer! ( She had yet been successful in cheering me up !) I pondered over what Rachael said and decided to live whatever time I had left to the fullest! Next week I went to the hospital cheerful and greeted the doctor buoyantly. I started enjoying life and taking pleasures in everything I did! I started stepping out more often and converted my damp and dingy room into a bright place. I started having a optimistic attitude towards life!

One day I was just planning to go skiing when suddenly a shrill voice cut my trail of thoughts. It was my phone buzzing …Dr. Roy was calling me! Panic gripped me like vice around my guts …Worst thoughts crossed my mind…Was my condition worsening me? Was I gonna die quicker! I shook my head hard, breathed deeply and let positivity flow in me… I gulped and picked up the call. I said confidently, “Good afternoon Dr. Roy -!” Before I could continue, his voice interrogated mine and those 6 words he said were the sweetest words I had ever heard. “Jenny your condition is improving rapidly!” Its again a wonder how those 6 words, 9 syllables impacted my life with such tremendous force !