The Not So Lost City Of Atlantis

Submitted into Contest #59 in response to: Write about a character arriving in a place unlike anywhere they’ve ever been.... view prompt

9 comments

Adventure Fantasy Science Fiction

Imagine this: You’re on a boat sailing away into the middle of the ocean. All of a sudden fog comes out of nowhere! You’re swept off the boat and thrown into the ocean. The water crowds around you filling your lungs with it’s dark and dreary feeling. You sink, down, down, straight to the bottom. A hand grabs you by the stomach and brings you ashore. You awake to find two purple eyes staring down at you. Startled, you get up. The eyes are attached to a weird creature unlike anything you’ve seen before, it looks like a cat and a unicorn merged into one. The sand around your body is blue and leads out into the ocean, which is a dark green. You’ve never seen anything like it. It takes your breath away. A large forest arises from the earth as you look further into the island. Treehouses and hammocks are hung from each tree making it look like an ancient civilisation. Coconuts are at the top of the trees and grass surrounds the bottom. The creature points to the middle of the island. A large statue presides there. You get up and walk through the maze of trees taking in every small detail. There isn’t one sound but the sounds of the ocean as the waves crash onto the beach. No life seems to live in this strange place save for the creature that found you. You reach the middle. The statue stands tall. It looks strangely familiar. The crazy hair, the clothes, everything. It’s you. A plaque beneath it reads: Our saviour 125 AD. How is that possible? You've only been alive for a few years, you haven’t been alive for over 2000 years! This is bonkers! Your creature points to a lever situated just behind your statue. You pull it. The ground gives way beneath you plunging your world into blackness.

You flutter your eyes open. You find yourself under the sea in a weird cave that is filled with air. Your creature has sprouted a tail and is right behind you nudging you forward. You go out of the cave realising at the same time that you’ve sprouted a yellow tail! It glistens in the aquamarine light, making a yellow reflection on the caves’ wall. You swim out of the cavern and find yourself in an underwater wonderland. Merpeople swim around going about their daily chores. Many more unicorn cat creatures swim about playing with bits of old coral. Another statue stands in the middle of the city floating just above the ocean floor. Merpeople are gathered around it paying homage to it. It’s the same statue as the one on land. As you enter the main square the merpeople swim to you gathering round you like you're a celebrity. They praise you and start talking in a gibberish language. Confused, you start to swim back frightened by what they’re saying. They start pressing in on you pushing you toward them. A lever is next to you. It specifically says do not push. You have no other option; you lunge for it and push it away from you. Bubbles escape the merpeoples mouths. They look gobsmacked at what you just did. A large whirlpool erupts starting at the bottom of your statue. I tsucks it down and all the merpeople cling tight to things and one another. However their efforts are wasted as they are all pulled down into the whirlpool. You cling onto your creature and a pole with all your strength. You flick your tail back and forth trying to swim upward toward the surface. Your attempts fail and you are sucked into the whirlpool. It pushes you down, making your eyes blur from the pressure. You black out as once again you are plunged into darkness. 

You awake having no recollection of the first island. Only the second experience. You piece it all together. Where were you and what happened? Where are you now? You look around you, the world seems flipped. A sign is standing near a path. It reads: Welcome to Atlantis. You may have travelled through the other worlds on your way down here, our apologies, we forgot to set them to lock. Enjoy your time here and have fun in this magical city! When you’ve finished reading the sign a city appears in front of your eyes. This one isn’t devoted to you thank goodness, all that attention was driving you crazy. The castle has a path leading up to it and all around the castle are little houses filled with people all going about their daily chores. They take no notice of you and continue going about their normal lives. A bell rings and everyone comes out of their houses and stands at their front doors. There aren't many people and everyone has the same posture, straight back and head straight up as if standing at attention. A large person descends from the top of the path. He came from the castle. He has a long ginger beard and is bald. He doesn’t seem to be walking. He seems to be floating as if flying through the kingdom. You rush to be by a side and stand next to a family. The king passes by you and stops at you. He looks you up and down.

“Who are you? And why have you invaded my kingdom?” The whole crowd is silent as he questions your authority. You have no idea what you're doing there. 

“I am a human who lives above ground and I’m a but lost, you see I got lost in a storm and I fell into a world, and then into another weird world and now I’m here,”

“Inconceivable! But how did you make it through the other portals? Only someone of this kingdom knows how to get here,”

“I just pulled the levers that were situated around the statues of uh me,” You say uncertainly hoping it’s the right answer. 

He stares at you, his blue eyes piercing into your very soul. He waves his hand at you and says 

“So you are the saviour that the ones above spoke of, you are the one and true leader of our worlds. All our efforts and daily practices are to prepare for the coming of you and here you stand uscathed. Well mostly unscathed,” He adds quietly. He turns toward the people and addresses them “Bow down to your rightful leader,” All the people kneel down before you and sing your praise. Not again! Why is the world obsessed with you? Are you a self obsessed maniac? No not really. What is happening to you today? The king points at your legs and you start to loat, just like him. He points toward the castle and gestures for you to follow him. He leads you up the staircase and into the castle. It’s your house! But how? What happened? It looks and feels the same but the air is different, it doesn’t have the home smell that you're used to. The second you step into the building that looks like your house you're plunged into darkness.  

You awake quicker this time, and find yourself at home in your bedroom. Did you really get to Atlantis? Or was it all a dream? A token sits next to you. On it it reads: Atlantis, city of dreams. So it was real! You really did visit it. And go through all that to see it. You won't forget that adventure in a hurry. You rush to your computer and start typing it out into a story.

September 15, 2020 03:37

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9 comments

Lani Lane
01:11 Sep 25, 2020

Hi Lily, here from Critique Circle! I have to say--there aren't too many stories on here with second person voice, so this was refreshing to read! Here are some critiques to hopefully make my comment more productive! 1. I think it would be helpful to split up some of the bigger paragraphs into smaller chunks of text. It can be hard for the reader to keep their place and stay focused when reading large blocks of text. 2. I feel the last paragraph would be more powerful if it was open-ended. End it at "On it reads: Atlantis, City of Dre...

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21:30 Sep 25, 2020

Thanks for the feedback I’ll give the suggestions a try in my next story Lily

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Lani Lane
22:48 Sep 25, 2020

Of course! Can't wait for your next story!

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02:43 Sep 26, 2020

WOW, Lily, This story is really cool! I love the creativity and the second person view! I liked the twist at the end, not making it just a dream, but something possibly real, and then, how you used the second person view and used it into yourself writing the story. It was really interesting and vibrant! Great Job Lily! Tell me when you write other stories! xx

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06:32 Sep 26, 2020

Thanks xx

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09:11 Sep 23, 2020

Hey, Lily would you be kind to watch the first video it's on Harry potter. https://youtu.be/KxfnREWgN14 Sorry for asking your time, I would ready your story

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21:10 Sep 23, 2020

Sure Prathamesh, um what do you mean by you would ready my story? Lily

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06:58 Sep 24, 2020

I just wanted to say do not be offended that, I am just promoting the channel of mine without bothering to read writers stories it would look rude.

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21:35 Sep 24, 2020

Ok that makes sense now Lily

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