Mr. Darry Walrus a business tycoon, a young man with pale skin, patchy beard, emerald eyes, and hairs like the moonless sky. However, he was rich, but he never gets the attitude. He loves to stay on the ground because he knows fluttering insanely in the sky will bring you on the ground someday. However, flying high with the support will keep you flying forever, isn’t it great?
His wife is Morphey, her eyes like inherited from the beaches of Maldives, the face is glowing like the grazing sun as she would be the daughter of Aphrodite. It was a high-school traditional successful love story, and both got married six years ago from now. A writer the world knows could be the most sensible person, and so she is. Three years hence, when the turmoil entered their life, it became permanent, and not ready to leave their life, anyway. It has to go; everything and everybody has time to rule - good or bad. She gave birth to a boy with eyes like father, lips like his mother, and pale skin as she got herself. The kid bought a million blessings to their shattering relationship; he came up and made the fragile rope of love unbreakable. Again the love started thriving among the couple. They kissed for the first time after 10 months of a void relationship, unusually they took a brief break from their hustling and bustling businesses to indulge in the family - time is something that capable of making the relationships strong.
Harry has grown up, and the love was still persistent between their parents. Morphey is writing her eighth bestselling book, and Mr. Darry has the big target to achieve at the end of this year - the turnover of $5 billion. It is hard, but not superior to his wits.
Today, Darry and Morphey completed their 10th anniversary, parallelly Harry his fourth birthday - such a coincidence. They keep a family gathering some relatives and family friends will be invited.
The gigantic house fills with the fragrance of fresh flowers around. The tiny fairy lights are twinkling so bright, a giant Lightning McQueen cake is under preparation - Harry’s favorite and also the heart-shaped for the pair celebrating a decade of their marriage. The famous chefs in the town are filling the house with aroma and mouth with water. The chicken wings are sizzling in the pan, looks delicious from far. Merlot and some non-alcoholic mocktails have also decorated tenderly in the bar. Everything is set, keeping guests in mind. The immense chandelier in the mid of the hall blazing like the midday sun.
Harry is excited, calling his friends, asking dad for more remote-operated toys. Whilst he is flying the giant toy airplane in the home, boisterously, and spoiling the decorations, the raucous voices of the plane are irritating. Mom snatches the Airplane and keeps it above the cupboard. He has made himself red, crying continuously for it. He is such a stubborn lad, and his irritating behavior makes Morphey worried, sometimes.
The guests are coming with precious gifts for the boy, bouquets for the lovely pair.
Many town ladies are flaunting in their precious gowns, each one has a fear of jeopardy. What if the other lady would be wearing a more beautiful gown than me? However, they hid their jealousy exquisitely under their makeup.
The evening has fallen; the cake is ready to be cut, Harry is on the clouds of excitement; the jolly couples slice the cake and followed by the little mousy Harry.
Dinner has been served. But the unheralded power-cut spoils the euphoric mood of dinner since there happened a colossal explosion in the nearest hub. Also, there is no backup since this happened the first time in the town, otherwise, outage if ever happened in the past hardly for a minute or two. Darkness has spread everywhere. Nothing is visible, only the tumultuous cacophony has filled the room.
But Darry is a businessman, so he has superfluous equanimity within to make the worst situations calm. He orders the workers to set the table in his backyard, “let’s do a candle night dinner today on my anniversary, even almighty wants it to be romantic, isn’t it?” he said with a cheerful smile. The flashlights barely lit the big ambiance. Everybody agreed with a loud chatter in excitement. They have shifted everything to his big backyard, candlelit, to fill the entire garden like tiny yellow fairy lights. It is a beautiful garden Mrs. Walrus had made when she sold her first novel. The Roses are smelling divine all around. The old and secluded but beautiful Sunshade decorated with the mosses like it covers over the Alps and the swing creaking aloud beneath. Kids are roaming all around, parents have gone busy at dinner. The juicy fresh lamb makes them famished more and over it the Merlot like Mozart in heaven.
Harry is lost somewhere in the darkness, he opened all his gifts in the dark, nobody can see him. However, at the end of the dinner, the guests leave highly satisfied with a charm over their faces. They ate so much hence belly came out.
Finally, it is midnight. Walrus’ family is tired so much. The power cut off is like havoc for them; it almost spoiled their evening and also their status. The wind is loud and wafting the essence of wet soil from somewhere. Darry says, “We should sleep here. In the lap of Nature. Anyway, when will this garden pay us back, all the money we have spent on him,” and burst in a hilarious laugh. Harry is dozing off, and hence he has slept in Darry’s lap. Harry hunched back a little and kissed his forehead.
“My boy, he enjoyed his day, isn’t it?” he said to Morphey with a broad grin. She nodded, and so she is also feeling dozy hence it doesn't bother her much what he said. She bent a bit and kissed Darry’s lips and Harry’s forehead. Darry gave a goofy smile like he always does. All sleep in the camp, pulling over his comforter and the billowy pillow.
An hour or two has passed, Morphey face to see Harry. He isn’t in the camp. She jumps out. His half-closed eyes look all around for him. She cannot see him since everything is gloomy like the black color poured in her eyes. Everything is dark, candles have also melted, the phone is dead. She gets worried. She shakes Darry lecherously; he jumps out of his blanket - plunges with utter fear.
“What the hell, Morphey?” he calls out.
“Where is Harry?” she asks. A sudden fear-stricken on his forehead.
“Harry… Harry… Where are you, my boy? Come to your daddy,” he calls him, but no response he gets. He turns on his flashlight and looked around, he isn’t there.
Darry gets up and checks the swing, he isn’t there as well. Now their anxiety deteriorates. When some creepy sounds come from inside as somebody is screaming; a fear runs down in their nerves. When they call Harry, their voice comes back with twice the intensity. Darry’s phone also dies at the moment when he reaches very close to the doll, blinking her eyes quickly, and all goes dark. She comes from nowhere before the power cut - she wasn’t even in their house. The wind becomes louder, and nerve-bending cold with the omen of a heavy storm. Morphey fell on the ground, she is afraid, and she became weak. She is losing every hope.
"The evil inside the house would guzzle up my son till now," she wailed in pain even pouring the tears are a hard chore to do also breathing.
Darry is his father, so he can’t be weak. "You're my hero," Harry said once, revolving in his head.
Slowly, in the darkness, he is keeping his feet attentively on the floor, his blood congeals when he senses that voice is approaching him. Nothing is visible, only his inner gloomy abyss of fear. He stumbles upon something that comes under his feet suddenly. He falls on his knee with a thud, and his knees become numb. He is shuddering badly. He is fighting his fear; he cannot be weak. His son is in peril.
“Jesus! Help me,” he pleaded in helplessness.
But he is almost dead of fear when Harry screams once and it echoes eerily. His steps become faster, no matter what comes in his way? He followed the voice and scurries. Many times he stumbles, but he keeps himself motivated. A dreary voice of someone who is laughing eerily comes, followed by a lady who is screaming and begging for clemency. His big house becomes haunted overnight. Harry’s voice stops coming. Darry bursts in tears, he can’t figure out where the voice came from. However, he cannot see; he tries as much as he can, but he loses at the end. He realizes that the evil might gulp his son. He cannot find him anywhere; he might have lost him forever.
The deadly spooky voice feels like it circling in the entire house. There he kneels down, covers his face, and starts crying for his son.
She gently staggers inside the house that has become ghosty and somewhere swallows her husband and son. She walks gently nothing to see, eyes are aching. She looks for a candle around on the floor, consequently, she crawls over the floor since she remembers the matchstick box slept from the hands of one of the workers, nearby the sofa in the hall, luckily she finds her hand on the box, she grabs it, lit it to fill the hall with a bright light like an angel arrives. She thwarts back as she turns back in search of a candle; she screams when she sees the spooky doll blinking her eyes and a jolt of fear runs down her entire body; the doll looks frightening with big bulging eyes, curly hairs are coming to her face, flat nose, black painted lips, and black and white teeth and looks like a monster lurking behind the doll. She closes her eyes and rushes towards Darry, and he gallops towards her. She hugs him hard, heartbeats were touching the azure and gasping, insanely.
He is supposed to be in his room, she says, and they directly go there without delay.
There he is, lying unconscious on the floor. She screams lecherously with shrill, and it was more frightening than the voice of the monster swirling around. They see the gifts were opened, toys were scattered all around, some toys are sounding spooky. He hugs Harry tightly and kisses him all around on his face. They touched the extreme of fear today anyway their son is breathing safely in his arms. He looks slightly pale. He might be frightened of darkness. The spooky toys finally come under his feet after taking the round of the house. He turns off the creepy toy in which the lady screams, and the monster laughs. He disgusts on the guest who gave such a horrific toy.
Morphey gives Harry some water, finally; he opens his eyes wide and calm with fear alarming on his face. Eventually, she breathes the fear out of her blood and withered her parched throat with a drop of water. Her body is still shuddering. Harry hugs his father, ardent, and feels safe. They again make their way to the garden. Darry doesn’t sleep the entire night; he keeps his son under his vigilance. If anything would happen to his son today, he must die. “Kids are innocent, they will forget everything in a while, and again damp himself in the darkness, to play we have to be careful,” he says to drowsy Morphey and kisses her on the forehead and plants many more kisses on Harry’s head.
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You asked me to read, so here I am. Interesting! Throughout the story there are undertones that their relationship, while better, isn't great, but after they find Harry it reads smoother, calmer, like they're reconciling. The first few paragraphs are complete telling/backstory. Unnecessary. You should show that their relationship used to be rocky through dialogue and descriptions of body language, not exposition. Also, there are many instances of awkward prose that a reread would help smooth out. "Morphey comes inside with the candle in ...
I'm on it Zilla. You gave such a great feedback. I'll work upon that and chisel the unnecessary elements. Thank you so much. You gave your time.
You're so welcome!
I love the passion of your story. I can feel the emotions, the fear. There are some issues with your wording. It might help if you read it aloud and listened for places where you might choose better words or phrases. It’s a great idea and I love how much of yourself you’ve put into it.
Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it.
The pace really had me running through the story. It could have been written a little slower. The tempo of the writing did not match the tempo of the plot (nothing really happened in the end). But the urgency definitely made me want to keep reading to find out how the story ends.
I'm glad you read till the end. It was utmost intentional so as not to end it the expected way. Thank you for your feedback, Sam.