Full Circle

“Now what do we do?”

“Did you ever think we would end up here, like this?”

“No.”

“You know, if this wasn’t us, I think I would be laughing about now.”

“But it is.”

“Oh come on. Take a deep breath and accept it.”

“Nobody accepts dying.”

“Really? Because it’s inevitable, a new chapter in your life. It happens whether we want it or not.”

“Nothing just ‘happens’. Everything has a reason.”

“Oh, right. A reason. Because everything has ‘a reason’. Ok, so tell me then, what is THIS reason?”

“We ignored science.”

“Science? You really believe that?”

“Yeah.”

“So tell me, how EXACTLY did we ignore science?”

“We trusted the unknown.”

“You lost me.”

“We trusted the unknown instead of going by the numbers.”

“Sure. Because numbers are never wrong.”

“What would you have done?”

“I would have looked to the book.”

“The book. Right. The book that has all the answers. The book that tells us everything about everything. So tell me, how come this book didn’t tell us what to do? How come we had to improvise because your book didn’t have the answer. Because, believe it or not, we looked at your famous book, and it said nothing. Not one thing.”

“You didn’t look in the right places.”

“Oh, of course. Why didn’t I see that? I didn’t use it right. Dummy me. I should have, what? Read more carefully?”

“You should have had someone like me read it. I know where to look. I know how it’s organized and how to interpret it. That’s what I do.”

“Well, that’s REAL good to know. But you see, someone like me doesn’t work that way. We use reason and facts and data to support our decisions. Not that.”

“And look where your ‘data’ has led us.”

“Yeah, look. Take a GOOD look. It’s brought us clear across the galaxy. It’s taken us to new heights. It’s given us new insights into our origins, our destiny.”

“Did your science and your destiny foretell the two of us trapped here a hundred light years from home on the event horizon of a black hole? Or was that tidbit considered, what? ‘Statically insignificant’?”

“We’re in uncharted territory. This wasn’t on any of the maps.”

“Isn’t that what exploring is?”

“Exploration is about methodically collecting data and then applying it. You take your time. We don’t have the luxury of time. In this case, it’s also a race. And sometimes in races we crash.”

“The book talks about looking before leaping. The same book that our ancestors used for guidance and wisdom. What happened to that?”

“Were they facing planetary extinction?”

“They were facing all kinds of things. Life and death, and everything in between.”

“Do you hear that? Hear it? ‘Tick, tock, tick, tock’. That’s the sound of time running out. Did your ancients face that?”

“Probably not like this, no.”

“We have to blaze the trail. They’re all depending on us. All of us. We fail, and everyone dies. We sightsee instead of pushing on, and everyone dies. It’s that simple.”

“That’s it? That’s all there is to it?”

“You think there’s more?”

“I know there is.”

“Like?”

“The book tells us everything. All you have to do is listen. It tells us about the beginning, about how we need to live to make a difference, and about the end. It says everything. All you need is faith.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s all you need.”

“Not me. I need facts and data. I need proof.”

“Then prove to me this trip, this exploration, prove to me this was the right thing to do.”

“Well, it’s not over yet so I can’t.”

“Then how can you preach to me about facts and figures when those very things are empty?”

“Because in the end, they always prove right or wrong.”

“But what about the middle? Before the end. Before all the facts and figures are in.”

“We go with past knowledge, what’s been done before. Numbers and statistics.”

“And if there’s no past to look at?”

“We interpolate.”

“That sounds so ‘scientific’.”

“It’s common sense.”

“If it’s so common, why doesn’t it work?”

“It works perfectly when all the facts are in.”

“Right. You know, in the past they used to call that ‘hindsight’. It was never wrong.”

“So what would you have us do? Put our ‘faith’ in a vague ancient book that doesn’t say anything concrete? Because I need something more to guide me.”

“Like?”

“Like a proven system, a clear map with predictable outcomes.”

“Life isn’t always clear.”

“So you would have me put everything I am in the hands of uncertainty and just hope?”

“Take a look out there. See that? It’s the universe. Who could have ever predicted in their wildest dreams that in all of creation the two of us would be here, in this time and in this place, facing life or death for our fellow man? I don’t know about you, but I don’t see any way this could have been ‘proven’.”

“What do you suggest?”

“What does your gut tell you?”

“That we’re going to die because we ran into something unexpected and we didn’t have science on our side.”

“And if science would have been there, everything would have turned out ok?”

“Better than this.”

“Why are you so sure science will save you?”

“Why are you so sure it won’t?”

“Because there’s more in this world than just facts and figures. Those are the tools of man. It’s the framework man uses to make sense of the unknown. Long ago, back in a time our ancestors called the Dark Ages, a great plague, the Black Death, swept the land. It killed many. Primitive man didn’t know what caused it.They attributed it to magic and the will of the gods.And it was in their worship, which dictated cleansing of the mind and the body, that they found the cure.”

“By accident.”

“By reading the book.”

“Reading the book now would save us?”

“I think we’re past that time. All I’m saying is the world is not just facts and figures and numbers. It’s also about faith and intuition and the heart.”

“Well I just don’t- Did you feel that?”

“Yeah. I’m guessing gravity has us and we’re going to be pulled in pretty quickly.”

So this is it?”

“I think so.”

“I, look, I’m sorry this happened.”

“It was part of the deal we made, right?”

“I guess.”

“Did you send a notice out?”

“Yeah. It was the first thing I did.”

“Good. Then anyone else coming this way should know to steer clear. We did out part.”

“It just seems so, I don’t know, hollow.”

“Hey, I have an idea. Your science says these black holes might be worm holes, right?”

“It’s never been proven.”

“What do you say we make that our goal here.”

“To, what? Explore it?”

“Why not? We don’t have much choice. You have plenty of those info buoys left, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So we drop them as we go. Who knows? Maybe someone can learn something from this?”

“I guess it can’t hurt. We won’t be needing them.”

“So start dropping them now and maybe we chart a new trail.”

“Give me a second. Ok, I have the screen up. So what do we drop?”

“Load each one with ship’s data, crew, origin, science data, medical data, the whole thing. And don’t forget the universal greeting and decoder.”

“Ok, and, done. So now what? Drop?”

‘Start dropping.”

“Ok, here they go.”

“Maybe we can make a difference.”

“Maybe.”

“You know for a science officer, you’re not so bad.”

“And for a chaplain, you’re not half bad yourself.”

*   *   *

Maddie is outside studying constellations. It’s part of her fourth grade science unit, and she’s trying to name as many as she can. Science is her best class, and she wants to do well.The dark Indiana night is perfect, all the stars visible. Her mother tries to help, but she only knows the easy ones. After the Big Dipper, the Little Dipper, and Orion, Maddie knows more than her.

The stars are shimmering, sending their light from so far away right to their eyes. They both search the heavens, the wonder of it all too much for words.

Maddie almost has the worksheet complete when she spies a shooting star. It seems to come from nowhere, and her mother points.

“Look! Quick, make a wish. It’s good luck.”

Maddie closes her eyes for a second and makes the wish. She opens them again to see it burn up and disappear. There wasn’t much time to think about it so she wished for the first thing that came to mind, the thing that she wished she could change. Her mother is curious.

“Did you make your wish?”

“Yes.”

“What was it?”

“I wished they had a cure for Dad’s cancer.”

Her mother closes both eyes and nods.

“Have faith. I’m sure science will find one. Who knows? Maybe you’ll be the doctor that does.”