We all fall down

A little girl is how it begins, a little caterpillar she was. Her vivid imagination took her places, she could be anyone and anything, her toys were her comrades and her heart began every story. Her nose was always stuck in a book, she loved sci-fi fantasy adventures. She felt joy, always happy, she would create worlds with her mind and didn't care what people thought about it. She made friends with boys and girls and was the top of her class. Then where did it all go wrong?? Everything was perfect, until she began to care. She began to care about what everyone thought of her. Those whispering opinions that she just knew existed, that crowd of hate that she heard in her head constantly. It first started with not fitting in, then she would hear people talk about her behind her back. "Her voice was too squeaky or she was weird". She shouldn't have let it make her wonder, but it did. It made her wonder what was wrong with her, she felt separated from everthing. She felt that is someone thought she was strange then that must be wrong, and she needed to change to make people like her. She chained herself up and limited who she was. She copied other personalities so people would like her. She restricted herself but not enough because for a while she was not of popular interest. Then, one day, our main character made a friend. A shorter girl that shared common interests and even personality. They talked and talked every day, they drew together played together, they wrote notes to each other and shared sevrets. They loved in their own little world and the girl had found her soulmate,so she thought, they were inseparable. I mean they would talk for hours no problem, they would talk about people, conversate shows, and could sit in silent comfort with each other . They would draw and run and read together and talk about their dreams. They didn't care about others opinions on them, cause it could just be them against the world. They began going to each other's houses, and as their friendship progressed she began to get nervous the more visits she took. Maybe it was the touching, maybe it was the looks.. Her palms were sweaty, she would shake with anxiety. She just didn't want to mess up around her friend, she began to care about how her friend viewed her. She didn't realize when the poison in their relationship began to sink in. She didn't understand what was going on, why she was nervous, but all that mattered was that she was her friend's favourite and that she could feel the burning in her chest when they were together. She always thought about how to be better, but didn't realize that that shouldn't have mattered, but to her it was essential for her and her friends relationship. Until one day, she was sitting at their usual spot, when she waved her friend to come over, but she didn't come to her table, she went to a boys table. *This probably won't last for long* she thought as her friend had done this before. But day after day her friend went to their table, just like that all she was was nonexistent. Tears came streaming down in rivers every night, she couldn't tell her mom what happened, because her mom favoured her friend so much and she didn't want to make her friend look bad. But the pain continued every day, and every night, she cried to her bed asking why she wasn't good enough and what she did wrong.. She despised her friend for just leaving her, they were so close and it was thrown away for a stranger. Her friend didn't even acknowledge her, as if her new friend was of higher status and more important than her. Did she not matter?! What did she do wrong? Was she boring or not cool enough?? Her heart was broken, it was cracked and forced open, of course she met other people, but it was never the same. She wanted to be redeemed, she wanted to have what she had before..One day her 'friend' sent her a letter, inviting her to her birthday. This was it! She was no longer forgotten! This pattern carried on for the caterpillar. She would do everything in her power to recreate what they had and the girl would drift away again, every move she made was to make the friend like her. Every thought she had was in pursuit of being the best to her. She was obsessed with being loved. Then that's when she learned, in middle school, she was in love with her friend. And during middle school her friend asked her out. Part of her wanted to say yes but there was a point however, when enough was enough, she was done with this emotional rollercoaster. She didn't want to be teased with affection only to be thrown away again. So she rejected her, and they agreed to be friends, and as they talked for most of the years, their damaged relationship never progressed after that. Eventually they drifted away after a few moves from schools, and as life moves on so would they. She should have learned then, how wrong it was for her to allow her self to go through such emotional trauma. But she didnt, she did the same thing three more times, continually ending with a broken heart. She loathed herself for years until finally the girl began to care about herself and not what everyone else thought about her, she could take advice, but she began to care about herself. This caterpillar grew and learned about herself, she learned that she loved art, she loved music, she loved girls and she loved herself. This butterfly learned that other peoples negative opinion on you is a reflection on them, that the most important thing to do is accept and embrace who you are and ignore the people that don't like them because they are not worth a second thought and that you are important.