244 comments

Fiction

This was part of a collab with Echo Ross! She’s one of the moooost WONDERFUL people I’ve met here on reedsy and she makes awesome stories too (really what more could you want in a person) ;o I’ll have the link to her account in the comments, you can read her perspective here:


https://blog.reedsy.com/short-story/geauhb/


Enjoy!


The fiery sense of longing that sets my being ablaze thrives from the living room, to the kitchen, the hall; up the staircase, the feeling rises in me with a writhing agony.


How long has it been?


A lifetime of a faraway dream unravels before me and grasps me tight in its hold.


The fear of leaving this final recollection of the past was almost like pain. I try to evade all acknowledgement of it.


From the attic to the rooms, from the rooms down the basement. It finds me at last and I’m gone.


-


The house became filled with the light set by the dusking sun, it stained the threads that bound fabric. Golden particles of dust that glimmered in the air had frayed from the drapes that hung lowly and floated above ground. And a savory tang oozing from the kitchen pervaded the atmosphere.


A faint sizzle of food can be heard from the kitchen along with the rising swirls of steam. I can say with certainty that the Loves’ customs nowadays had become mine, as it would break the fluidity of time.


Day was no longer day, and night was no longer night. Hours became the different shades of warmth and the cool, clocks were no longer important neither. Morning is the foggy blur of actions of the fragments of a family in the house. Noon is the sweltering heat of the sun over empty rooms. Evening is the sound of dull chatter and the smell of cooked vegetables. Night is the whisper of erratic breathing as we all pretend to sleep.


Watching what my family had become was frightening. Even more so how I had come to do so. 


I have regrown into the house like how a tree would burrow its roots taut in the ground. I extend myself into all rooms and sides of the wall within the residence. I soak in the light that comes through the windows, with the dust; my non-existent limbs play endlessly over the surface of things.


Cammie was preparing food in the kitchen. How she had taken the duty to be the motherly figure to her brother had helped things get around; she takes care of Auggie’s meals for when he comes home from school then cleans up. I can’t remember when I had truly seen her happy last, though the traces of a smile that played on her lips knowing her brother was doing fine seemed to be enough for now. 


Thinking of the children always brought an unwelcome gnawing at the depths of my consciousness. Being trapped to be this homely form was punishment in a way that all I wanted to do was scoop the kids in a welcome embrace and reassure them with fulfilled promises as a mother would.


I no longer have a heart, or any other assets for that matter, so to say my heart speeds up wouldn’t be true. But there is a quickening, a sudden stir of emotions that force their way out and allow me to come to an understanding. Almost humane.


Just as how it was happening now.


There was a pitter patter of footsteps by the door, then a creak, and I felt the pressure of Auggie’s shoes on the floor. His bag soon followed too.


I’ve never recovered from seeing this new him. I would always expect to see my same boy with too-big denim short pants that go well below his knees, but the person who came through the door today was not Auggie. Perhaps it was someone else looking like the more grown version of him, sadder and slightly taller.


He took the seat on the couch, carefully avoiding the remnants of food strewn across. He looked at it with disgust, not with the same comfort years ago.


Over the time I’ve been here, the furniture has grown to me in a strange sense where sometimes I would feel myself moving with them. They were filled with the memories of a past life, or dream. Or someone playing at the pictures. The couch was the feeling of a newborn Cammie against me as I caressed her puffy cheeks. The couch was the ache beginning at the side of my ribs as Auggie and Cammie fought in identical-looking princess dresses. The couch was the passion of a husband’s love to care for me as I slowly grew weak.


Both the children were in the living room. Cammie handed Auggie a granola bar in between her cooking. She makes time to cheer her brother up, “Hard day?”


He nodded with hands to his eyes, staring upwards.


“There you go, Auggie.” Her lips brushed softly against Auggie’s forehead in a quick kiss. A warm feeling brewed in me, the desire to be with them in that moment badly.


He said thanks as she disappeared through the door that led to the other room. He waited before he brought the photo album by the nearby table to himself. A crisp flip of pages sounded out as he continued to look through the photos.


Pictures of young Cammie and fetal Auggie filled the pages to the brim. It formed a bulbous mound over the different sticker shapes that Cammie had insisted the album needed, I remember.


Carmen, good Cammie, was the smell of sunshine and the funny shape of pigtails that her silhouette loved to wear. She kept her nice dresses under hidden compartments to herself, and liked twirling them in the morning light. She especially liked twirling them in the morning light with Auggie by her side.


And she makes time to cheer her brother up.


The kids huddled in the couch giggling and joking between themselves as they looked through memories of their childhood and it occurs to me; they still can speak to each other without saying words as they always have.


They went through the pages at an understanding, laughing to gain comfort from the other’s joy. Their eyes skimmed through the pictures sporadically, searching for traces of me and their smiles turning tight when they did.


I let myself feel the warmth that were my children in between the cushions with a foreboding that my being here (or lack thereof) had them bound to me in an exhausting burden. It feels as though I had infected them with the same forlorn that had killed me eventually.


Gone were the reassuring words that continue to tell me I was the air that bore breath to those around me, I became the opposite with time. I remember the intensity and fervor I had for Eric, and how I tore myself over the things I wanted to bring myself to tell him.


Eric was the match that brought light to the wick that made it burn in passion so fiercely. He was made of the thoughts that left me asking a thousand questions that go for as long as dawn when the birds turn lively and crickets dwindle.


He was the answer to a big, unspoken puzzle.


The three of them, Auggie, Cammie, and Eric, sat by together and reminisced on the things that refused to last. Lethargy wore them down with shadows forming underneath their eyes and frowns curved into their lips.


Auggie began to cry.


“I miss her.”


The ache at the center of my being began to grow. The trepidation I’ve caused upon my family looms over me in a great murk.


Auggie, my sweetest Auggie, was crying over me. He was the moon that glowed and led me out of the darkness of the night. He was my same child that liked to lie on the wooden floors of the house, like an infant— entwined against me, hand on cheek. It’s the closest I’ve been to hugging anybody since I was alive.


“I know, Champ, I know. I do too.” Eric said with a hand to Auggie’s nape, rubbing in soothing curls. “But she’s watching over us and keeping us safe. That, I know for sure. And we’re going to be okay.”


There was a scant flame lit by fear. My family needed me gone to recover from the mess I’ve made, as much as I’d wanted to hold on to them for as long as I could.


What they don’t tell you about sparks and flames is how fast it spreads. Fire goes through everything and crumbles it to ash faster than any of us can stop it.


The fiery sense of longing that sets my being ablaze thrives from the living room, to the kitchen, the hall; up the staircase, the feeling rises in me with a writhing agony.


How long has it been?


A lifetime of a faraway dream unravels before me and grasps me tight in its hold.


The fire grows quickly. A single spark of a match was all it took; a memory. The heat of the golden sun, a first kiss, and the grin on my children’s faces as we spent our last moments together.


The fear of leaving this final recollection of the past was almost like pain. I try to evade all acknowledgement of it.


What mattered was now. My children and husband, smiling in melancholy yearning for everything that had been lost.


From the attic to the rooms, from the rooms down the basement. It finds me at last and I’m gone.

November 19, 2021 22:45

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244 comments

Abi Bee
18:00 Sep 02, 2022

HI DANNY (its abigail cross btw lol)

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Danny
04:24 Sep 03, 2022

HELLOOO ABI, MISSED YOU!! how are youuuu? <33

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Abi Bee
15:22 Sep 03, 2022

I MISSED YOU TOOOO!! things could be better but im trying to look up! hbu?

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Danny
11:06 Sep 06, 2022

ooh okiee, hopefully they do get better for you soon <3 im prettyyy much doing well, lots of school stuff going on- plus a million other things since we last talked :o whatchuuu been up to lately?

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Abi Bee
12:18 Sep 06, 2022

ty loll i bet XDD ack im getting nostalgia talking to u again lol a lot XD in school planning to apply to college within a couple of months (im not a senior yet XD), Im one of the higher rankings in my JROTC class (mini army in school lol), i have art club now with is a big thing lol, been changing my identity a lot bc -gender go brrr- and a bunch of other stuff i dont need to get into lolll. wbu?

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Danny
12:58 Sep 11, 2022

ahh yeshh meeee too, it's almost going to be a year since we've first met each other *shock* :o oohh already? that's interstingg, good luck with your college applicationss!! ahhh congrats to you, that's amazinggg <333 you joined an art club too? that seems like fun :> what sort of things do you make there? hehe glad you're figuring things out for yourself <3 hmm well, i started in person classes recently and i still haven't adjusted quite as well as i hoped i would. i would kindaa love to get back into writing too but my schedule just isn'...

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22:17 Jul 10, 2022

You're back?

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Danny
06:34 Jul 19, 2022

I tryyy to be at least, how's it going? :)

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19:40 Jul 22, 2022

Well! You?

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Danny
14:01 Jul 23, 2022

That's good to hear :> it's pretty much the same hereee

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21:37 Jul 23, 2022

I've been on vacation for a wile, but all the stuff I wrote's too long to post

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Danny
11:08 Aug 03, 2022

ooh that sounds like fun :) hmm maybe you can make two parts then? can't wait to see what you come up with!

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06:14 Apr 21, 2022

Hi Danny! - this is Sienna, btw. Read my bio for more info :3

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Danny
06:16 May 02, 2022

Hellooo! I saww, cool name, glad to see you figuring things out :> Also- aww, you caught covid? Jsjsj that sucks, hope you get well soon <3

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07:59 May 02, 2022

Haiya :3 Tyy <3 Yup XD Not feeling the greatest. Hru?

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Danny
09:17 May 02, 2022

Just hang in there *sending lots of good soup your way* Pretty good, got some schoolwork to catch up with though Y-Y

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Pstttt- http://chng.it/WrGZKq9tKK A petition to get rid of downvoters c: I'd be helpful if you signed <3

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Danny
14:16 Mar 21, 2022

Sure I'll get to that when I can!

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Thank youuuu!!!! <3

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Heyyyy it's been a while. How are things?

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Danny
02:44 Feb 27, 2022

Heyyy wolfii :D sorryyy i've been busy lately but doing well though, how are youuuu?

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Heyyy danny ^u^ It’s okay, I’m glad you’re doing well :D Doing pretty gooddddd I miss our random convos about grapes and all that :’)

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Danny
13:23 Feb 27, 2022

Glad you're doing good too :) Sooo what stuff have you been up to latelyyy? Ahh I knowww right I miss them too, I was just looking at that one carrot plate where I put the grapes on the other day and thought of you :')

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:) Mostly school and stuff lol u? Yeah, they were some pretty great convos lol :’] Also, interesting pfp c:

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Danny
00:28 Feb 28, 2022

Oh okie, good luck with school~ yeah qwq me as well, only school stuffs lately Definitely, maybe I'll send you a carrot plate of your own too so you'll have a special something to put your grapes in, twinsies lol :') Thanks, it's from steven universe, have you seen that show :o I think you're pfp's prettyyy too, kind of looks like your signature logo now, did you make it yourself? :D

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Billbug
17:50 Dec 18, 2021

I have so much to say, but i can't quite place how i want to say it. this literally blew me away, i love your writing style so much, your imagery and wording are so poetic and deep. you have such a beautiful way with words and how you piece them together to make the story flow so wonderfully. you managed to pack in so much emotion and i could really put myself in the position of the protagonist and feel what they were feeling throughout. this is such an amazing comeback after the break you took for a while, you have such stunning talent.

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Danny
10:04 Dec 27, 2021

thank you so much! i'm glad you liked it, it's always fun sharing stories and ideas with you <3

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Skye 💕
06:02 Aug 17, 2022

Hey Danny :D

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Danny
03:28 Sep 01, 2022

heyaaa Skye :) how've you been doing?

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01:06 Mar 07, 2022

OMG DANNY YOU WERE ONE OF THE FIRST PEOPLE THAT LIKED MY STORIES ON REEDSY?! I JUST WENT BACK TO MY FIRST NOTIF AND YOU LIKED MY SECOND STORY TvT I HAD NO IDEA WHAT THE YELLOW DOT MEANT THEN SO I DIDNT KNOW WHO LIKED MY STORIES BUT I DO NOW :0

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Danny
01:38 Mar 07, 2022

SIENNAAAA :o AHH YESSS that feels so long ago, back then when there was soo much time to read stories TwT :000

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02:23 Mar 07, 2022

XDDDD

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03:12 Feb 16, 2022

oooooooohhhhhhh so you're danny :) nice to meet you! i'm phoenix, or sienna. i'm friends with everyone who's commented on this story XD

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Danny
02:46 Feb 27, 2022

hiiiiii yep c: nice to meet you too! yessss, i've heard about youu as well :D how are ya doing?

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05:29 Feb 27, 2022

Hiii! Really lol? XD I'm doing good, and you?

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Danny
00:22 Feb 28, 2022

Ofcccc, I've seen your announcements on remind before too xD that's goodd, I'm pretty much the samee

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00:41 Feb 28, 2022

Ohh, forgot you're on there XD XD

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Danny
01:21 Feb 28, 2022

yeah, i dont use it as muchh xD

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hewoooooooooooooooo how's it going?

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Danny
10:56 Jan 05, 2022

hellooooooo, pretty good :) wbu? (pstt i have something for you btw i don't know if you've seen it yet though :o)

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pretty good as well :D if it was on remind I haven't seen it cause I'm not supposed to go on remind anymore so yea

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Danny
08:16 Jan 12, 2022

that's good to hear :) maybe i can leave it for you on our doc if you still can go there?

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:D I can’t TvT

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Danny
01:10 Jan 13, 2022

Aw TwT I'll try to leave it here for you then, like a link? hmm does your email still work? so you'll be the only one to see qwqwq

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Hi Danny c:! Sorry for the re-follow, I'm just organizing my follower's list! <3 ur awesommeee

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Danny
10:13 Dec 27, 2021

Of course, it's alright :) noooooooo, you are ;p <3

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XD your bettterrr! <3

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Danny
02:33 Dec 28, 2021

youuu are xD <3

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wowwwww very cool how the emotions were displayed, it just made so much more sense at the end. I also like that you never really had to flat out say that the perspective was from the dead mother (or so it seems). that just adds more depth to the story, which I love. Awesome job <3

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Danny
11:14 Nov 21, 2021

Thank youuuuu, i'm glad to hear you liked it :D hehehe twas the remaining halloween festivities getting to me (even though it's already nearing the end of november)

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I get you lol Twas nice still :D

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Ahhh I loved working with you!!! You're amazing! <3 <3

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Danny
22:56 Nov 19, 2021

Ahhhh I loved working with you too!!! And you're awesome eeek! <3 <3 <3

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