Battle for a companion in Spring

Battle for a companion in Spring

For over thirty years I lived my life in a what seemed like a vacuum. I had fulfilled my lust from time to time but deep down my spirit was an empty bowl looking for the right person to capture my heart. On several occasions, I had thought that I had found that lasting spirit which would fill that gap, but they were illusions rather than reality. I had several times fooled myself to try and fill the void in my heart. The springtime of my life was slowly fading. My life had been in hibernation for too many years.

We as individuals have a period in our lives when our doubts overtake our positive existence, such was the negativity in my life the year prior to meeting my kindred spirit. I was to meet a woman who made me feel good, but who at the same time , in our early courtship, without my knowledge had reacquainted herself with a past male friend. On discovery this several months into our relationship I became insecure in my thoughts. I felt the pangs of jealousy, anger, frustration and hurt.

When we were not in each other’s company my imagination ran wild as to what she was doing with the other man. At various times, I would get in my car and drive past her house to see if the competition  was present. I was to learn, many years later, that her elder son had noticed my car driving past, by its unusual noise, and had informed his mother. If his car was present, I did not know what I would have done. How I would recognise his car had not ever occurred to me, such was my mental state of mind.

One day as I approached her house, I saw him enter his car and followed. How I knew it was him was based on her earlier description as she had not denied the reacquaintance and had also described his appearance in a discussion we had on an earlier date. On this occasion I was informed that he was missing her and wanted to just be friends, as he still cared for her. At a certain stage in my journey, he seemed to notice that he was being followed. His car turned into a petrol station which was closed and I too did the same. On stopping my car, I opened the door and walked out of the car to confront him. He did not come out his car but started the engine and exited the garage. I re-entered my vehicle, started the engine and pursued him in the general direction I had noticed he had taken. I did not see his car, but then noticed less than a kilometre from where we had stopped, the presence of his car. It was  in a carport at the front of a house on the same street as the garage. I now knew his address, what should be my next action, I had no idea. What was I doing in the first place, was, in itself, crazy?

I contemplated going to his home the next day to confront him, I knew his name and now his address. I knew that he had a wife and children, from my earlier conversations with my potential wife, and believed that this approach would be wrong. I decided that the correct course of action would be to telephone him. Due to his unusual name, my investigation revealed his telephone number, this was easy as the telephone directory disclosed this secret.

After a week of self-doubt, I decided to make the call on a Sunday afternoon, as I thought that this would be an appropriate time. I nervously rang the number, and the phone was answered by his wife. I asked for him to be informed that he was in the garden working on the spring flower arrangement I said “thanks” and placed the phone on the receiver. On my first attempt I chickened out, my courage failed me. This though was the springtime of my relationship with a potential wife.

The second time I rang was a few days later to be informed that he was not at home. I was speaking to his wife and decided the best course of action was to act. I told her who I was and then informed her as to the reason for the call. She indicated her knowledge of the relationship her husband had with the other woman and said that this was not the first time. She also said that this relationship had ended several months ago, and she felt powerless to intervene , but also added that I should physically confront him and give him a lesson. 

I was again alone, why I had communicated to his wife, in honesty, was to try to gain an ally, but this did not work. I was hurt and at a loss, what should I do. I spoke to my   potential  wife as to what I had done and was told that he only wanted friendship and I  was informed that the pursuit was one way. This to me was unsatisfactory, I was not reassured. Maybe a face-to-face meeting would help resolve the situation.

 I rang him once again and on making contact he suggested that we meet at his night place of occupation, a restaurant not far from where I lived. I now had an opportunity to meet with him , maybe not on neutral grounds, but what did I care. The day or night of confrontation was before me. I entered the restaurant and asked for him. At this point in time my preference of meeting was outside, so I exited the premises to await his presence.

He walked out of his place of work and extended his hand, which I did not accept. I then told him that I wanted him to stop pursuing my girlfriend and he responded by saying, “it was up to her” and then added “come into the restaurant and let us have a drink”. I refused and tried to make it clear to him that she had told me, that she was not interested and added “he was no longer welcome’. He then said, “why don’t we share her, you over the weekend and me during the week”. A repugnant idea to my mind and with a controlled solid voice I said, ‘ I do not share my women”, and I then promptly left and went home.

My choice now was to confront her with “it is him or me”, continue our relationship as it was or just give up and split.