Imperfections by Jinnie

Submitted into Contest #93 in response to: Write your story about two characters tidying up after a party.... view prompt

2 comments

Fiction Friendship Teens & Young Adult

Author's Note: Hello! This story has been a bit of a whirlwind. I just joined Reedsy two days before this is due. I wrote over two thousand words, but somehow half of it didn't save, so I has to re-write the majority of the story. It may be rushed, and it may be of poor quality, but I think I learned from this experience. Enjoy!

Trigger Warnings: Minor Mentions of Alcohol abuse, subjective dialogue, etc.

Lulu Stadnik, the little girl with the little bow flopping up and down in her black sea of hair. But now, little Lulu is left in the dull-lit room with her dull hair, in contrast to her bright bow and the bright lights that flickered on and off over her head. The lights flickered and blinked with a dying energy, the girls overactive mind pictured teensy little googly eyes and mouths on each tiny bulb, gasping for air, there last breaths. Until they die out. Because the Party is over, and little Lulu is left to clean up the big teenager’s mess.

The girl with the dashed and freckled face, with flowing Black hair billowing downward in unorthodox spirals hugging closely to her cheekbones. Little Lulu with her lopsided jaw and stubby legs. Lulu and her puffy lips and perking ears and chipping nails. That's why Lulu was left out of the big kid party, with the 16's and 17's and even a few 20 somethings. In a house with two older siblings, Priscilla, and Derik. Ugly names, but proportional faces. Cool kids. She was a dork, a geek, for lack of a better term. But stubby legged, short, freckle faced Lulu was dull enough in the head just like her hair to think that a lack of an invitation was due to her age. Young Lulu, not freckle face, or even the U word.

U g l y

Someone with a house so clustered and crowded between smoky breath and parties every other night wouldn't be as lonely as little Lulu? But she was alone, left alone to clean up the big kid’s mess. Well, to say she was alone would be a fabrication of the truth, and who wants that?

Ben, "Benny" Tangent, the tall, fellow freckle faced basement dweller, with bony limbs and a slanted facial shape. Shaggy blonde hair and Hazel eyes, a plain lime green polo tucked into tan khakis. He, along with Lulu, thought they were guest to the prestigious Big Kid Party, Lulu even wore a hand-me-down dress from her aunt. A murky white dress, more like a crooked weaving of rags with a thick coating of dust, and a shredded edge remaining in dangling strands. But, nonetheless, the two pals were met with a finger pointing to the basement door, exiling them to the deep depths of boredom.

"The trash bag is, pretty full..." Benny bellowed across the room. He heaved a white garbage bag, packed to the absolute brim with crumbled cups, with splashes of an 'unknown liquid', shattered glass, LED Lights, and chipped edges or corners of furniture that is no more. "Pass me another one will ya?" He called.

"Yeppers- lemme see... Yeesh, we've already gone through a whole box! Party must have been..."

"Wild?" He pressed his foot onto the bottom of the bag, and sharply jerked the two ties of the bag upwards and pulled them into a tight bow.

"Pretty much, well. The basement was fine, at least we got-ta hang for a bit, ya know?"

"Yeah, where's your crazy siblings at?" He asked curiously. But Lulu simply shrugged in response, eyes darting upwards to an upper layer of LED Lights, strung in a transverse wave like pattern and held up with duct tape. She crossed her brows and pinned her fist to her hips.

"Stupid tall people..."

"What?"

"Oh! Nothing." She glanced over at her tall friend, but little Lulu was stubborn. She extended her arms upwards and hopped, like a baby birdie who just, couldn't fly. Yet she mistook her stubbornness for persistence, a frequent delusion for the youngster, and she indeed persisted.

"You need help with tha-?" Benny started, but abruptly Lulu shook her head. She furrowed her brows and stretched upwards again. The dull haired girl and her dull brain couldn't comprehend her surroundings, the obvious hints to just, give up. She refused to acknowledge the existence of chairs, scattered across the room, that she could simply prop against the wall and step atop. She neglected the existence of her friend Benny, tall Benny. Decent Benny. Benny with his blonde hair and hazel eyes, and his top test scores and his gaming victories and... "Dude, come on. Just let me-"

"no-No-NO!" Lulu stomped her foot down and pursed her lip. She looked like a child, throwing a tantrum. But she wasn't a child, she knew that. She needed, to know that. The girl flung her arms upwards and hopped up and down, her fingers extending upwards and tightly clutching the air. She made a few audible squeals, her curls danced around her face violently as she gritted her teeth. Her face turned red after a few moments, a mix of frustration and embarrassment. She swung her arms up as the lights twinkled and shook above her. She leaped up, legs thrusting back and forth.

“Alright…” Benny pulled a few stray locks of hair away from his eyes, tucked behind his pointy ears. He leaned down and snatched another white plastic bag from the small pile, perched against the back of a wooden chair. The bag swished as it spread apart, and he started to toss some empty party cups and pressed a couple dozen shards of glass scattered across the marble floor into a pile. His eyes darted back to Lulu, flapping her arms up and down and squirming midair. “Pfft- ya look like flappy bird.”

Benny was town proclaimed, ‘King of the Arcade”. The boy could click and crank those chipping pastel buttons and levers as if it was witchcraft. At the top of all those notorious leaderboard screens, his name was plastered in white bubble font with tacky flash animations lining the edges. Little Lulu with her dull hair and dull brains had stubby little fingers that couldn’t twitch and turn like Benny’s could. Little Lulu didn’t have her name between flashing and flickering animations in bright letters.

“Well- I’ve almost got it…” She murmured to herself, her face now inflated and pulsing red. Little Lulu with her short tempter, all over an insignificant strand of LED lights, dangling above her, taunting her in abstract loops and curves. Little Lulu who couldn’t even clean up after her big sibling’s party. Even though the two couldn’t clean up after themselves, and the two made it apparent not to tell Aunt Marge, meaning Lulu couldn’t tell Aunt Marge, not that she would believe her. Lulu had to clean up the mess, otherwise the crumbled cups and smashed furniture would be somehow blamed on her… and her aunt would be returning home in less than an hour.

“Dude, it’s almost 7- your Aunt’s gonna be home, just go help me with the rug spill and I’ll do the LED lights later….” Benny started but was met with a piercing gaze.

“No. I’m-getting these lights down…” She said with an abnormal raspy tone. Lulu had always felt equal to Benny, even though he was smarter. And looked better, even with his slanted grin and long, dangling limbs. But Benny was a fellow basement dweller, he liked wacky cartoons and having mature conversations around subject matter in books and satire and dorky little comic books and movies. But yet, Benny was taller, he had a solid 4.0 while Lulu was hanging with low C’s in most classes.

“Come on, let me just…”

“no-No-NO!” Lulu shouted, panting, fingers clutched into fist as she stomped up and down like a child. Her hair flung around in a spiraling whirlwind, black locks whipping her eyes and lower cheeks. She paused, realizing she was throwing a fit, like a toddler who lost her favorite toy. She wasn’t a child, not like everyone said she was, a whiney brat. After a moment, she exhaled and released the tension in her limbs, looking back to Benny with a pursed frown. She glanced up at the LED lights, but rather then try and reach them in a desperate hop, she knelt down and felt her limbs collapse to a sudden relaxed prediction. She slowly tucked her knees into her chest and pinned her back to the sandy tan painted wall.

“Gee- Lu, it’s just some lights, what’s the big deal?” Benny crossed his brows, stepping over to Lulu and slid down into a crisscrossed pose. When Lulu gave no response, other than burying her cheeks in the palms of her hands. “This is, about more then, the lights, isn’t it?”

“No… yes, I dunno. I guess first it was just about, not being able to reach them… but you can reach them.”

“So? It’s not a big deal.”

“To you maybe! Because you’re Benny! Perfect Benny!”

“Wha-?”

“Stupid Benny with your stupid smooth blonde hair and, and smart brain and… stupid games! And your- uh… I dunno…” Lulu felt a short flash of guilt at what she just spat out to her best friend. She switched shades from red to pale white, until she shook her head and perched her head on top her kneecaps. “I-I didn’t mean it…”

“I know you didn’t.” Benny said with a slight shrug, fiddling with his foot and smacking his lips to ease the tense silence.

“I, I guess I feel kinda, worthless, compared to you.”

“No-No don’t say that. Were both geeks, it’s how we…”

“But your like, king of geeks! Good at games! Good grades! And your stupidly perfect! Stupid Benny with his stupid… You pry have like, all the records at the Arcade! And me? I’ve got nothing… all I can do is throw myself an unwarranted pity party…” Benny tensed up, unsure of how to reply. After a few moments of a swelling silence, he exhaled slowly and pressed his lips together.

“Stupid Lulu.”

“Huh?” Lulu pulled her smooth black curls out of her face and crossed her brows.

“Stupid Lulu! Stupid Lulu, whose always able to wake up with a smile on her face!”

“That’s not an accompli- I know what you’re doing.”

“And her stupid curls that she can always iron like, perfectly! And her stupid feistiness! She’s like, the best one on the debate team!”

Lulu blushed, “I was kinda great last trial.”

“Yeah you were! I don’t care if you struggle in school! Who cares! I mean, whoever cares, and says something about it! I’ll punch them with my, really weak arm.” He smiled, a wide, goofy smile, like one sloppily painted in bright red on an exaggerated emoji. Lulu giggled, and glanced back up at the lights, they looked less taunting, more cheerful, like gentle flickers in the plain tan room. “I’ll stay here all night until you get them down if I have to. Cause you can do it-…”

“Nope.” Lulu smiled upwards at the twinkling shades of the rainbow. “Keep them there, I’ll keep them there.” She smirked and pushed herself to a standing. “Let’s clean that rug.”

Benny nodded and snatched a wet rag and tossed the other to Lulu. The stared at the large ‘juice’ stain on the floor, grinning with crooked and sloppy smiles. Little Lulu, and tall Benny, with there freckled faces and goofy grins, cleaning up the imperfections of the room. And it was perfect. 

May 15, 2021 03:40

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

2 comments

Khair Harun
07:36 May 16, 2021

Just a friend dropping by. If you focus more on Lulu's want, this could have been a much better story. I'm lost here. What does Lulu want? She wishes to be beautiful. But how does Benny play a part in this? What is his role? Break your story down. When you sit down, let your mind free. Focus on Lulu's real purpose first. Then, show us. Show us what does she want. Her eyes. Her touch. Her dress. How ugly she is. How she fights against criticism. How does she bring herself up?

Reply

Jinnie Levi
13:21 May 16, 2021

Oh wow! Thanks for the advice! Honestly I touched a lot more on that in my first draft- That didn't save 😭 But I should have thought more about the Charecters and there dynamics before I wrote it. Thanks agian!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in the Reedsy Book Editor. 100% free.