Not Quite Home

“So, we are meeting another one?” Steve said. He waved down the waiter working over by the bar with a quick hand after securing a table at the café’s outdoor patio. While he pulled the chair away from the table for his wife to sit down, he continued. “What it this Amelia, number three this year?”

              She settled in the chair nicely, overturning the set coffee cup on the table, and pulling the napkin away to settle it on her lap. She was in her late fifties dressed in nice slacks, a loose-fitting white shirt and diamond stub earrings, perfect for catching the reflection of the sun. She was fit and bright with the confidence that came with raising four children to adulthood, the oldest (at thirty-two) they were meeting today. “I’ve talked to him and he swears this is the one.” She said with a shallow brightness of hope.

             Steve was a few years older, a man of business, having founded and grown a successful insurance company. He gave a quick glance around the street, assessing the proximity and speed of the cars and the traffic around the patio tables. Outdoor cafes made him nervous for no other reason than he had begun his career as a novelist, and he knew the risks. Like the butcher who never eats sausage because of what was really in it. But his wife thoroughly enjoyed the ambiance of the people and the city, and he allowed her the experience by overcoming his own paranoia.

             “I think that is what you are telling yourself and not listening to what he is saying.” He added as the waiter approached, introduced himself, and presented two lunch menus.

             “Anything I can bring to you now?” the waiter asked as he presented a small notebook to take down their order.

             “I would love some tea.” Amelia replied. The waiter raised his eyebrows and hesitated. “Earl Grey will suffice.” She added. The waiter noted that, then turned to the gentleman. “A house red is fine.” Steve said with indifference, as the waiter noted that also and quickly slipped away.

             For a moment they sat in silence, he checking his cell phone, her closing her eyes for a few moments to absorb the sunlight and enjoy the atmosphere. Their large home was near the city center and urban life was what they had been exposed to their whole life, it was always refreshing to be in a civilized world. With all of their children staying in the city after college to begin their careers, Amelia was thrilled with the adventure of the family being in the center of a thriving community. Steve only indulged her, as all he needed was a laptop and a flat surface to be content.

             Once the waiter had brought the drinks, the couple ordered a light appetizer, then returned to their conversation.

             “What do you think she is like?” Amelia began.

             Steve pondered the question for a few moments, then answered. “Clark’s type is tall and blond. Bubbly.” He hesitated for a second longer. “The gregarious type, you know always wants to be ‘in’ something. I am going to guess she is along those lines.” He then returned to his phone as he had expressed his view and now he felt there was no further need for involvement.

             “I think.” Amelia began whimsically, although no one had asked what she thought, “She’s quiet, and yes, I agree she is blonde, but with longer hair than the last one. That she has a quiet resolve in dealing with people and would be great with children, particularly a lot, like three or four. They would live close, and we could have them around all of the time.”

             Steve now took notice at this remark. The image of four boys playing with nerf machine guns in his living room with the Andy Warhol canvas, the Chinese vases, and the aged battalion of lladro’s they had acquired through the decades, suddenly made him quiver. “Girls would be best.” He offered, then returned to his phone.

             “I suppose.” Amelia speculated again. “Maybe three girls, but one boy would be perfect, just to continue the name. I mean four worked for us.”

             Again, he pulled away from his phone on this topic relating to children, Steve gave up and laid the phone down on the table to indulge his wife’s fantasies. He ran his hand over his ironed jeans and leaned forward slightly to straighten out the buttons on his yellow dress shirt. He then reached into the pocket of the blazer he was wearing and pulled out a rubber band. Stretching and stretching the band, he unconsciously worked out the stress of an issue with his business, while listening to his wife’s prescient need to speculate. It was moments like these where he wondered whether her brain was really just a Magic Eightball rather than a rational woman.

             “If there were four, then one of them would obviously work for you at the company, preferably the young man, but the daughters may have a say.” She thought for a second. “That is if they are educated.” She continued, “But suppose it would be best if they stayed home and managed the house and finances and such.”

             Finishing his wine, Steve looked over his shoulder to catch the eye of the waiter. The waiter, at the back of the patio, sensed the attention and began to wander over to him, but Steve just pointed at his empty glass and the waiter nodded with understanding.

             “I wonder where she would send them to college? It would have to be close for weekends and holidays.” Amelia wondered.

             “You can ask her now if you like, they’re here.” Steve said. He rose as a thin young man with a much smaller woman trailing behind him approached.

             Steve and Amelia rose and greeted the two newcomers, Clark reaching over to his mother for a hug, while Steve cordially greeted the young woman. On time, the waiter arrived set a new glass of wine in front of Steve and took the drink orders for the two new arrives; A seven and seven for the woman and a coke for Clark. He also dropped off menus for them to consider and took the order for four flutes of champagne.

             “This is Debra.” Clark said, introducing his new girlfriend, as she waved shyly at the two of them.

             “So, whisky?” Steve began, as Clark finished off the remaining appetizer at his mother’s insistence.

             “It’s a nice day to be out. It always fits the sunshine.” She began, looking straight into Steve’s eyes as if challenging the comment.

             As Steve began a conversation, Amelia reached out and grasped her son’s open hand, never taking her eyes off the new girlfriend. Debra had broad shoulders, like an athletic swimmer, and was equally as firm down to her waist. Her hair was dark brown, cut to the shoulders and her eyes were large and expressive. Her smile easy and broad.

             “So how did you two meet?” Amelia asked, interrupting Steve and Debra’s conversation concerning double and single malt whiskeys.

             “Oh uhh.” Clark started, “We have known each other for some time now. We met on a bicycle tour in the city a few summers ago, and we’ve kept in touch ever since.”

He paused for a sign of verification from Debra, who smiled and nodded. “As we started hanging out more and more, I…” he stopped to correct himself. “we discovered we have a lot in common and are now constantly in each other’s lives.” He added with a joking laugh.

“That’s wonderful!” Amelia said in singsong.

“In fact,” Clark continued, “We are planning to move in together.” Unconsciously he reached for Debra’s hand, she was willing to give it.

“Well then”, his father said, “This call for some champagne.”

“Where will you be staying?” his mother asked, having yet to take her eyes off of Debra.

“Well,” Debra began. “We have been offered a place in Elburn. It needs a little work, but Clark has promised to quit his job and work on the exterior. He also has plans for interior improvements to make it our home.”

There was an odd silence at the table. Amelia seemed quizzical, while Steve’s brow furrowed as he processed what their plan was.

“How far away is Elburn. It is in the state?” Amelia asked.

“It is a small farm town about forty-five minutes from here.” Debra informed her.

“How will you survive if Clark quits his job?” Steve asked quickly, before Amelia could get her bearings. “Do you work?” Amelia asked. Too late.

“Oh,” Debra answered. “I will be working. I will be commuting from Elburn to the city hopefully back to a clean house and a home cooked meal.” Debra chuckled at the thought as Clark smiled and nodded.

With that, they stopped and looked at the menu offerings. Steve and Dorothy examined the menu intently while his parents tried to process this plan, glancing at the menu and selecting whatever was at the top of list. There was a long silence as the four of them settled in to consider their orders. Picking up on the silence, the waiter appeared, took down their orders once they had decided and then slipped away. Amelia lifted her tea bag from the cup and used the string to wrap it around the spoon to squeeze out the tea. It was so taut that even Steve noticed the tension of the string: the bag was bulging appreciably as if Amelia was attempting to burst it into two pieces. Meanwhile, Steve sat there, turning the wine glass slowly, hoping there was some sort of escape plan underneath the stem.

“So,” Steve began hesitantly, hopefully seeming visibly ‘interested’.  “What do you do for a living Debra?”

“I work in commodities.” She began.

“What sort?” he inquired.

“Hogs.” She answered,

“So, pigs?” Amelia asked.

“I deal specifically with hog production, the purchasing of piglets and moving them to finishing locations. I also deal with the products once they are sold to the butchering facilities. Like back bacon and pork bellies, that sort of thing.” Debra mentioned nonchalantly.

At this point, their lunch arrived and the waiter, along with the help of a nearby steward, they presented each plate. Debra began to immediately stir her salad, while Clark dressed his hamburger. Steve looked at his pulled pork sandwich, wondering if it once had a name while Amelia quietly slid the bacon off her BLT.

“How long have you been doing this?’ Steve asked.

“Oh, I grew up on a hog farm so guess I was born to do it.” She replied.

“So you have been around pigs your entire life?” Steve asked.

“Yep.” She replied. “And just to let you know a secret.” She leaned forward slightly.  “They are called hogs. Pigs are in fairy tales.”

“I see.” Steve asked, glancing at his wife who still seemed to be in shock. She seemed to be trying to form a picture in her mind of this whole situation.

“So Clark, you are quitting the architectural firm?” Amelia blurted out.

“Yes.” Clark answered, still working on adding to the hamburger. “Oh mom?” he asked suddenly. “Are you going to eat that bacon?”

Amelia shook her head ‘no’, then moved it closer to the edge of the plate, where Clark greedily snatched it and used it as the final topping to his burger.

Breaking her silence, Amelia cleared her throat as a warning and asked. “Are the two of you planning to get married?”

The young couple looked at each other, then Steve answered, “We will see how it goes. If this works out, someday, maybe.”

“Well, if you are hoping for children, you may want to decide soon.”

“Perhaps.” Debra said, “We have discussed one, maybe two. If so, maybe marriage, maybe not. At least not for a long time.”

Amelia turned a greyish shade of white.

Steve on the other hand, after pushing his plate to the side, became very inquisitive with regards to how they were going to support themselves. “So do you have an income?” Steve pressed again, trying to get more specifics. The thought of the two of them ending up in their house infinitum after the failings of the rural experiment was beginning to take seed.

“Well, my job pays well, I bring in about one hundred in commissions.”

“Is that per….animal?’ Steve asked.

“No,” Clark interjected. “It is one hundred thousand for the year.” Clark paused to be sure, adding this qualifier. “Usually.”

“Oh.” Steve said softly.

“Don’t forget the house is on some acreage my parents own, so the house is free.” Debra amended.

“Won’t that be awkward, the two houses sitting next to each other on this small piece of land?” Amelia asked.

“We won’t be close.” Debra said, after taking a small bite of her salad. “My parents own about seven thousand acres of cropland, so we will be some distance away from them on an old homestead.”

“Our own little Eden.” Clark said, then giggled as he looked at Dorothy. “Don’t forget the cattle!” Clark suddenly blurted out.

“Your right.” Debra said nodding in acknowledgement, “My parents also have about fifty Limousines.”

Amelia seemed confused. “For party rentals?”

“No, actually that is the breed of cattle that we have.”

Having forgotten about the champagne he ordered, Steve was taken aback when the waiter suddenly appeared with four flutes, setting one down in front of each person.

“So, you are all set?” Amelia said quietly, suddenly feeling diminutive.

“Don’t worry mom.” Clark said. “Everything is going to be okay. You can come and visit anytime you like.”

“Steve raised his glass and the other three followed. “Here is to the lucky couple, may you prosper in your new adventure! Skol!!”

Steve downed the whole glass in one large gulp, following it up with a smile and a wink to his wife. Amelia took a sip and looked around for waiter so as to order something stronger.