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American Fiction

CN: death

My bare feet sink into the soft, chilled, packed earth and the magic from the soil soaks into my weary bones. I take a deep breath of the fresh mountain air---healing my anxiety as it flows into my lungs. Closing my eyes, listening to the young bird song and the crackle of foliage with each step I take. On the wind there is a chant so rhythmic it calls to my soul and I lift my skirt to walk more quickly towards the roar. 

I’d run from this place, these people when I’d been old enough to think I knew better. I was terribly wrong. I’d thrown over peace, calm and Mother Nature to work overtime, use a cell phone and date a string of terrible men. My mother and father had warned me about what lay outside of the world we’d created but had never stopped me from leaving them. It had been eight long years since I’d left for college and I was coming home. Home to my people. 

At the base of the mountains in a small forest lived a group of people who’d managed to stay hidden from the modern world forever. They were humans of the earth and prayed only to Mother Nature---the giver of all life. To those “citizens” that did know of them, the forest people were weird and creepy. Most people hated what they didn’t understand or what wasn’t typical. The forest people weren’t weird; they were ancient and set in their traditions that predated most of society by hundreds of years. As the chants grew louder, I smiled, no matter what others thought these were my people. 

Stepping through the tree line, was almost like stepping into a time warp. There were hand-hammered cabins or huts fixed with wood and twine set in a circle around the fire that breathed life twenty-four hours a day. There were two wells on the edge of the village that provided endless fresh mountain water. And huge, abundant gardens that provided the village with life sustaining food. The people milled around or worked in various chores dressed in handsewn cotton outfits and helped each other in every aspect of life from birth to death. 

It was time for the dinner meal and I watched as they chanted around the fire singing praises for the beautiful Mother Nature. The Mother was everything to us---she gave life, she sustained life and she took life. They stood in a circle, hands raised above their heads and swayed with the beat...you could almost feel the magic they were creating. It flowed through me as I let the sound of their voices wash away the remaining modern world. 

I crouched down and ran my hands through the soft, green grass and sighed as the dirt dug under my fingernails. Placing my hand palm down, I closed my eyes again listening to the magic, the chants and the earth as it sang to me. Healing me---mind, body and soul. The modern world was full of greed, hate and turbulence but here things were simple, love and peace. But we were the crazy ones. 

The smell of fire and earth stirred through the air as the chant faded into companible chatter. These people had done this same ritual every night since before time had been counted. There had been new people who’ve come to join us and those who’d been raised here and left but the core of the community stayed. 

My time in the modern world hadn't been a waste but it certainly hadn’t been the best years of my life. I’d gone to college, worked my first few jobs and spoke with people who thought I was foreign. I’d learned quickly to allow them to think I was from another country because they couldn’t handle the truth and we often mean about my history. Cult, Hippy, Weirdos---the list goes on. After college, I went to an alternative medical school and there I’d met Sean. 

Sean had understood and appreciated my love for nature, The Mother and living cleanly. We’d gotten married and planned to move back here to be the natural doctors for the village or anyone else that needed it. Sean had a beautiful soul but our happiness was short lived. On our way home from my first Midwife appointment, a year after we’d married, Sean had been killed by a young driver with a cell phone and short attention span. Alone again but this time with child---I struggled with my faith, my sense of what was next and where I belonged.

I could’ve come home after his death but I’d promised my husband I would finish my education and so I had my baby in the apartment we’d shared with just a midwife. A bitter-sweet moment.  A few months later I graduated and sold off most of my belongings. I’d packed the baby’s stuff, and drove home. Sean would have wanted me to raise our daughter in the grace of Mother Nature and in a community of holistic family.  

The smell of campfire and cooking meat make my stomach growl. I took a deep breath and smiled as I walked home. The bustle stopped as they caught sight of me.

 My uncle frowned as he walked towards me and in our language spoke. “Who are you? Why are you here?”

“Uncle Roma, It’s me, Charity. And this is Shawn.” The baby I wore on my chest rested her head shyly on my shoulder.

“Charity? You came home.” 

Sitting in my childhood cabin, feeding Shawn and watching my mother chop veggies for dinner I felt complete again. My mother was a sturdy woman who’d lived as a child of Earth since she’d been born and as far as I knew had never left the village. She’d married my father under the blessing tree in a handfasting ceremony when they were both teenagers but had never strayed far from each other since. Best friends. Life Partners. Family. 

“I’ve been worried for you, my child. I am happy you are home.”

“I’m happy I am home too, Mama.”

“Where is this baby’s father?”

The baby in question, fisted her hand on my chest as she fed and I ran a finger delicately on her soft skin. “He is a part of the Earth again.” 

My mother glanced over to me. “I’m sorry for you, my child. She is beautiful.”

I smiled. “Yes. She is.” 

The door swung open with a thunderous crash and startled us all. Shawn began to cry, soothing her I stood as my father, brothers and a man I didn’t recognize. 

“Who’s babe did you just scare, Pa?” 

“I don’t kno…Charity?” A moment of shock rippled through the room before a smile split his gruff face and my father tossed down his catch to snatch me up in a tight bear hug. He swung Shawn and I around in a circle and murmured my name over and over again before placing me gently on my feet. “My baby is home.” He tucked a hair of mine behind my ear. “And who’s this then?”

“I missed you Pa. This is my daughter Shawn.” 

“Daughter, you say? May I hold her?” 

I handed her to him and gently swayed as he murmured softly to her. Then took her to show the men still stationed at the door. My eldest brother looked at me and smiled. “It's good to see you, kid. She is beautiful like you were when you were a babe. Where is the father so that he can explain why he gave you a child before introducing himself to us.” He made an exaggeration of looking around. 

My mother clucked her tongue. “Freedom! The father is with the Mother and a part of the Earth. Be kind.”

They all frowned at him. “Oh, Charity. I’m sorry.” 

I walked to them and hugged each of my brothers-Freedom, Valor, Brave and Sincere- tight. “You didn’t know. It’s been almost a year and a half since he’s been gone. Glad we’re home.” I eyed the stranger. “Who’s this?”

“My name is Felix.” 

“Nice to meet you Felix.”

“As it is to meet you, Charity.”

“Dr. Felix is a scientist and he’s been studying us for the past few months.”

My brow furrowed. “Studying you?”

“Yes. Your subculture, traditions and the like. I'm an anthropologist.” 

I wasn't sure I liked that we were under his microscope.

My Pa handed Shawn back to me. “Our Charity is a Doc but the medical kind.” 

Felix eyed me. “Is that right? And what online school did you get your herbal degree from?” His condescending tone grated. 

In plain English, I said, “Well, I got my pre-med at Boston College. My medical degree at Harvard medical school and my alternative medicine degree from Everglades University.”

 My father let out a hearty laugh as he pounded the back of shocked Felix in a companionable way. “Smart she is, our Charity.” 

After dinner I rocked Shawn on the front porch and listened to the dull chatter of the beginning night. 

“May I join you?”

Felix stood in the doorway with a cup of steaming tea. I simply nodded and went back to watching the ember fire. 

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Seems to be a favorite pastime of yours.”

He laughed a little as he sat in the empty rocking chair next to me. “I do enjoy discovering things about people. The whys, the hows inside the who’s.” When I said nothing in response he took a sip of tea and continued. “If you have that big, expensive fancy degree why would you come back here? Why would you choose to live this way?”

“What way?” I slid my eyes to him. 

“Without the comforts of the modern world. Here you will have to entertain arcane rituals, hand make everything and never work yourself to the bone to eek out a simple daily life. So, I wonder, why an intelligent, independent woman would choose this life.”

“My family is here.”

“And? My family lives in L.A. I visit once or twice every few years but I’d never move back there. So that's not the reason. Is it grief?”

“Grief? Over what?”

“The loss of your child’s father.”

“My husband? Sean was my husband and her father. But no. Grief is not an emotion we embrace. He went home to Mother Nature and she will allow him to be reborn.”

“You don’t really believe that do you?”

I slowed the rocker down to look at Felix. “Judging someone’s beliefs is against the anthropology code or something isn't it? And why wouldn’t I believe it? I was raised to believe Mother Nature gives us our blessing and returns to the earth what she once sewed. Life is a circle, an endless loop of beginnings and endings.”

“I didn’t mean to judge you. I apologize. I have to admit I’m confused by your sudden appearance here and intrigued by your reasons.”

“I’m not home because I lost Sean. I’d always planned on coming home. I am here to help my people. There is something peaceful and calming about this place that can’t be found anywhere else in the world. I’ve traveled many places since I left here and went out into the world. Nothing is as magical or soothing as the base of this mountain. Can’t you feel it?”

“No. I suppose I can’t.”

“Then I feel sorry for you.” I stood. “I’ve got to put Shawn down and get in bed myself. It was nice to talk to you Dr. Felix.”

“It was nice talking to you as well, Dr. Charity.”

I paused at the door. “Doctor?”

“Yes?”

“Why are you here?”

“To find the magic that you feel.”

 

 

April 23, 2021 23:52

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