Of Freedom and Fishes

Pearl

So this is what death feels like. Somehow, I expected it to be… wetter, I suppose. But then, we don’t have much of a choice in how we are to die. It just… happens. 

Then again, maybe we do have a choice. I could have prevented this if I had known what it would mean for everyone. But perhaps I should stop this melodramatic rambling and get on with the story. 

His name was Finn. It’s not a terrible name, I guess, if one likes to be named after one’s own appendages. He was the sort of chap that just falls into your life whether you want him to or not. Literally, in my case. One big splash and he was in. No questions asked, no protesting, and absolutely. No. Way. Out. He was a new sort of breed. Brightly colored, showy, aggressive… quite the ladies’ fish. If you like that sort of thing. 

I didn’t, that’s for sure. I remember hovering in my own little perfect corner of the tank, thinking just how delightful my life was when plop. He showed up. And that’s all there was to it. It was one of those moments in life where you wish you were anywhere or anything else. It doesn’t particularly matter what, as long as it’s different. Just something. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Pearl!” Angel called my name, waving her silver fin at me. “Come on! Don’t you want to meet him?”

I sighed begrudgingly and swam over. Just what I wanted. Another fish to fill this crowded tank. Could life get any worse? 

Mertl the snail grumbled my thoughts from the corner. “Don’t know why they think we need more company,” he said, his voice filled with disdain.  “He’s just gonna die in here.” He sighed, looking at his reflection in the glass. “Maybe he’ll even decide to eat me.”

Angel’s voice cut him off. “Aw, come on, Mertl. I’m sure he’ll be just fine.” She flicked her perfect silver tail and sped off. Scales, she was gorgeous. 

I swam along, taking my time. Maybe he wouldn’t notice me. Maybe I would just get lucky and turn invisible all of a sudden. I wished that my scales weren’t so bright. A nice brown would suffice instead of this blaring orange-gold color I always wore. 

“Oh, yes, I’ve been all over the worl-” the newcomer’s voice cut off as soon as he saw me. He smiled, giving a very pointed and flirtatious grin. 

Uh-oh. This was not going to be good. 

“Hey, there, Goldie,” he said, giving the closest look to a smolder I’d ever seen on a fish. Red flags went up immediately. Ladies and gentlemen, look out. We have got ourselves a flirt. Flirt Alert! Flirt Alert! Flirt Alert! Evacuate the premises immediately. 

I stared at him, refusing to give any hint of a smile. 

Angel gave a sympathetic look. “Oh, please, won’t you be nice and welcome Finn? He’s new-” 

I shot her a glare and turned to look at the newcomer. “Welcome to Fishville,” I spat. “This may be a foreign concept to you, but you’ll have to earn your place here.”

Finn laughed. “Oh, don’t worry, Goldie, I intend on it.” He gave a small bow, throwing a fin around Angel, who leaned into him and giggled.

I stared at him. “My name is Pearl.” Busted barnacles, this guy was a bonehead. 

“Of course, my Pearl of the Mediterranean.” If only he had eyelids. I’m sure that he would have winked at me. 

Barnacles

Bubble. Bubble. Bubble. Bubble. Bubble. Bubble. I reached out a fin and touched one. Ernest’s big bulging eyes stared at me in shock. 

“You-” he sputtered, “You touched one of those- of those... things?” His voice shook with exasperation and disgust. He flapped his fins. “Just wait, that filter probably has some terrible disease in it, and we’re all going to die.” 

I stared at him. “But Ernest… it’s just a bubble!” My big deep voice was filled with surprise. 

Mertl muttered to himself from the side of the tank, his melancholic snail-y voice carrying across the water. “So now he’s afraid of bubbles. Can you die from a bubble? Probably not. Is it worth a try? Definitely.” He yelped and threw himself off of the wall and into the bubbles, hacking and coughing as if he was dying. He flopped around for a bit and then stopped. “Sharks,” he muttered, getting back up. “It didn’t work.” He slid away, grumbling to himself.

Ernest shook his head and sighed. He opened his mouth to speak again when the lid of the tank was suddenly removed, and a brightly colored fish was placed into the tank. 

“Ernest! It’s another friend!”

Ernest’s eyes grew even wider. “What if he is diseased? What if the other fishes he was with before were really mean to him? What if he’s really mean? What if-”

I cut him off. “Oh, come on, Ernest! We gotta go meet him! What if he came from the sea!” I gasped, a brilliant idea filling my large brain. “What if he came from the Mediterranean!” 

The big eyed goldfish shook his head. “You go meet him. I think I’m gonna stay over…over here,” he decided, unsure of himself. 

I groaned. Ernest was really gonna miss out. I bolted over to where the new fish was. 

“The Mediterranean?” he was saying, “Yeah, I’ve been there. Tons of times.” 

A few of the younger fishes gasped. “What’s it like there?” 

The new fish smirked, swishing his tail. “It’s awesome, mate. Got the most beautiful coral reefs I’ve ever seen.”

I gasped, excitement filling my gills like the time the smaller human got a hold of the fish flakes. “Can you take us there?”

The new fish turned to look at me. A funny expression crossed his face. “What’s your name, big guy?” 

“Barnacles,” I said, confused that he changed the subject. “But can you take us to the Mediterranean?”

“Well, Barney,” the new fish said, “I’m just not sure I’m cut out for that kind of thing.” He brushed back his dorsal fin like the humans played with their hair. 

Disappointment filled my heart. “Oh.” 

The new fish gave a glance at Pearl, whose face looked like a rock that had sunk to the bottom of the ocean and wasn’t too pleased to be there. He turned, swallowing hard. “Then again, I… I, uh... might be able to pull something off.”

Really? He would do it? I whooped and swam in a large circle. “We’re going to the Mediterranean! We’re going to the Mediterranean!” 

Angel

Finn was such a charmer. There was no doubt about it. I gave a little sigh. He just had to be the most perfect fish ever. 

He smiled at me, his shiny scales making me want to swoon. “Want to go to the Mediterranean, dear?” He laughed, and I thought that he sounded just like the sirens that filled the seas with their enchanting melodies of perfect rapturous love. 

Did I want to go to the Mediterranean? Oh, did I ever! “Yes, please!” I squealed. “We should all go!” 

Pearl rolled her eyes and swam away. She was such a bother. Never wanted to do anything fun. I shook my scales. Never mind. We’d just do it without her. 

Ernest, who had finally decided to join everyone, gave a little cough. "How, exactly, are you planning on getting there?”

Finn shrugged. “First, we’ve gotta figure out how to get out of this tank.” He inspected the sides of the tank, looking about as bored as a clownfish at a funeral.

Ernest’s eyes bulged. “But we’ve never been outside of the tank before. What if we don’t like it out there? What if the humans find us trying to escape? What if the-”

Mertl slimed his way right up to Ernest, staring him in the eyes. “What if, what if, what if… he thinks we’re going to die out there.” He tilted his head, contemplating. “Let’s do it!” 

Finn cut him off, laughing. “Hey, hey, calm down. No one is going to die. I’ll figure it out.” 

Ernest shivered. “I bet it’s super unsanitary out there." I winced. His voice was so annoying. 

"All of those humans and everything. They’re probably all breathing the same water, too.” 

I gasped, a delightful thought popping into my head. “Oh, Finn! We’re breathing the same water!” I brought a fin to my heart, sighing dramatically. 

Ernest froze. “We’re breathing the same water. We’re breathing the same water. I’m completely contaminated!” He began hyperventilating, his gills pulsating “What- what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? I need to get out- have to get out of here!”

Finn stared. “Uh, don’t worry, bud. I’ll get you out.” 

Barnacles raced past, whooping for joy. He was chasing a little tetra, whose face was a mixed expression of excitement and fear. 

Finn called out to Barnacles. “Hey, mate, what are you doing?”

Barnacles stopped and turned to look back. “We’re playing ‘swallow the leader’! You wanna join?” He spun around in a circle and swam over to Finn. 

I held out a fin to stop Finn. “Oh, please, don’t,” I pleaded, giving Finn the biggest guppy eyes I could make. 

Finn hesitated, then turned to look at Barnacles. “Maybe another time, mate.”

Barnacles nodded, his blue scales glimmering in the water. “Oh, okay."

Finally. I could get Finn all to myself. I gave him a sweet smile and he tossed his fin. 

“What was it that you needed, my dear?”

“Oh, you know, I just can not wait to go to the Mediterranean. It has got to be such a fabulous place, isn’t it? I bet there are just tons of new fish there, right? And the coral reefs…”

Finn

This little tank was so much better than the last place. Yeah, these fishes had their quirks, but they were a fun bunch. I stared off into the place where Pearl had gone off to. She had to be the most gorgeous goldfish I had ever seen. 

“Finn?” Angel said my name, waving a fin in front of my eyes. “Hello? Are you listening?”

I shook my head. “Oh, right. Yeah, totally. Heard every word.” 

Angel giggled. “I’m going to go pack all of my things for our trip. Want to join me?” 

I paused. “Um, I think I’m good.” I glanced back at Pearl.

Angel stared at me. “She’s really not that fun, you know. She’ll never come with us.”

I nodded absentmindedly, her words floating right over my head. Angel huffed and swam off. I swam along the edge of the tank. Would Pearl let me talk to her? Two young fish hovered at the edge of the tank, staring at the big moving wall the humans called “TV”. Large furry animals jumped all over the place, tearing poor creatures to shreds with their menacing teeth and claws. The two fish watching shivered in delight. 

The mother of the two little fish came swimming over, enraged. “How many times do I have to tell you two? You are not allowed to watch this! IT HAS CATS IN IT!” She threw an annoyed look in my direction. “You haven’t been encouraging them, have you?” 

I shook my head. “Uh, no, ma’am.”

She frowned, turning back to the two fish. “You two are in big trouble, hear? You are not allowed to leave the house until I say so. Go back home. Now." She ushered the two fish away, muttering evils against humans and cats and “TV’s”.

I stared at the place where the fish had just left and noticed a large crack in the side of the glass. A grin filled my face. So that was how we would get out of the tank. All we had to do was finish the job! I paused. But we didn’t have to do it right away, did we? I turned to look at Pearl. 

Mertl’s grumble broke through my thoughts. “She hates you, you know.” 

I looked down at him. “Why do you say that?” 

He shrugged. “If death is what you’re looking for, I think you’ve found it.” He nodded to himself. “She’s got the bite of the piranha inside of her. Prob’ly kill you if you get too close.” He strained his neck. “Maybe I should try that.” 

I shook my head, turning to look at Pearl. Perhaps I just had to prove myself first. I looked back at the crack in the glass. Only one way to find out. 

Ernest

“Ernest!” Barnacle’s big shape suddenly filled my sight as the morning light filtered through the water in my small hole. “Today’s the day!” he shouted. “We’re gonna go to the Mediterranean!”

I froze. “Finn figured out how to get us out of here?” 

Barnacles nodded enthusiastically.

A shiver ran over my scales. Today was the day. We would get out of this contaminated tank and into the open. I darted from my hole. “How? Where?”

Barnacles shook excitedly. “Follow me!” The big blue fish led me over to the side of the tank where the big crack was. Ah, of course. We would break out. 

Soon, a large group of fish gathered around the crack. Porter, the old hermit crab, woke up hearing the commotion.

“What’s this all about?” he asked.

Barnacles swam in a circle. “Finn’s gonna take us to the Mediterranean!” 

A frown crossed Porter’s face. “The Mediterranean? How in the ocean is he going to do a thing like that?” 

Angel swam over, dragging Mertl with her. “By breaking it, of course. And then little Mertly and I are going to have the best vacation ever.” She sighed happily, beaming at the grumpy snail. 

I stared at her. “Mertly?” I had a terrible nagging feeling this was about to get really gross. 

She nodded. “Why, of course! He and I were just destined to be.”

My stomach lurched. Yeah, gross was right. Angel and Mertl? No way. 

Just then, Porter climbed on top of the large rock in the center of the tank and yelled for quiet. The tank hushed. He stared down at all of us.

“Now, you kids have gone far enough with these games. Just look at what this tank has come to. Escape? What a bunch of clam chowder.” He turned to look at Finn, pointing a claw at him. “You are the evilest and most selfish fish that I have ever seen. You younger generations are going to bring great ruin on yourselves, just wait and see. Didn’t you kids learn anything in schools? Now, when I was a young crab-” 

Finn cut him off. “But you’re not, Porter. And you’re not the leader of this tank. Right, folks?” 

I nodded my agreement with Finn. 

Porter sputtered and shook his head. “You’ll see,” he said. “You’ll see.” 

Pearl

I watched the interaction between Finn and Porter from a distance. Was Porter right? Could something terrible really happen outside of the tank? 

Finn waved to Barnacles. “Here, Barney, pick up this big rock in those big jaws of yours, and then swim at the side as hard as you can.”

Barnacles nodded enthusiastically. I watched in anticipation as Barnacles crashed into the side of the tank. The crack shook slightly but did not give way. Barnacles picked up the rock again. Every fish held their breath. 

Three, two, one, crash! The crack gave way, bubbles flowing into the tank. The entire glass wall shattered. 

Mertl gave a shout for joy as he leaped through the hole. “Freedom! Death, take me now!” 

I gasped as the water tumbled out, sweeping us into the world. Was this what freedom felt like? Because, suddenly, it didn’t feel so inviting. 

Pain filled my body as it became apparent that humans actually didn’t breathe water. I struggled to breathe, my gills hurting like the time I had crashed into the stone inside the tank. This, I thought, is what death feels like. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As I take another gasping and painful breath, I look around at all of the other fish on the ground. Angel appears to be sobbing that she never found her true love. Ernest… well, I don’t think he’s even made it this far. Barnacles is thrashing around like crazy, and Finn? His eyes are filled with regret. He knows. This was all his fault; if he had just listened to Porter. If he had just gotten out of his own selfish…

But then, we were all selfish. I suppose it didn’t have to end this way. We could have stopped it, if only we had known what it would truly be like. It just goes to show that sometimes our own plans… well, they aren’t always the best, you know? 

I glance at Finn one last time, and catch two mouthed words: I’m sorry. 

I never thought I would become a poet, but drastic events cause you to do drastic things. So I hope this gives some wisdom to all of you naive, gullible fish in the world:

Take caution, my child,

In that which you dream

That you don’t overstep

Your boundaries

For dreams are good

But boundaries are, too.

Make careful your path

To discern what is true.

Mertl

Life is terrible. The fish are dead, and I am not. Let this be a warning to all of you out there. Don’t ever become a snail. It isn’t worth the pain of life.