Will It Come Back?

The sun disappeared nineteen years ago. No stars in the black sky, no lick of light. Evidently, it was on a random summer day in August according to my mother’s journal that I found tucked away in our hallway closet. Apart from our biweekly endeavors to obtain groceries, there wasn’t much to entertain myself in our two-bedroom log cabin.

My parents try their best to keep me occupied, but there’s only so many times you can play board games or read the same few books over and over. My parents can barely occupy themselves considering I watch them stare longingly out the window every day into the pitch blackness, no doubt wishing for the sun’s return.

In my twelve years, I’ve endured their repeat retelling of their childhoods, how they spent every waking second outside, relishing in the sun. I like the excitement it brings to their faces as I pretend that I haven’t heard the same stories countless times, but the second the story is over their smiles fall and their hardened, sullen faces take hold. They talk as though I’ve been missing out, and I suppose I have, but this cold, dark-as-a-midnight sky life is all I’ve experienced. The few times I have dared to ask what the sun was like, what it felt like on your skin, I’ve been met with grim expressions so I’ve learned to stop asking.

“You know what tomorrow is, Walker?” My mother turned to my father, and from the candlelight, I could see her eyes welling with tears.

“Don’t remind me, Remy.” My dad sighed, rubbing his forehead in a huff as he paced around the tiny living room in an effort to distract himself.

It was August 18th, the night before the anniversary of the “disappearing sun,” a night that I’ve grown to hate considering all my parents do is mope around. Instead of listening to their incessant complaining, I headed to my room early and collapsed on my mattress, surprisingly exhausted from the relatively boring day.

~~ “Tatum? Tate! You have to get up sweetie. Come on, it’s time to wake up!” My mother practically squealed, an octave to her voice I hadn’t heard before. When I didn’t respond, she jumped on my bed like a child on Christmas and I grunted as she accidentally stepped on one of my feet. I slowly opened my eyes, squinting as I looked up at her lit face, trying to fight the urge to shove her off the bed to sleep a few more minutes. My father stood next to her, the crinkles by his eyes prominent as the grin on his face grew wider as I gained more consciousness.

“What’s going on? What is it?”

“The sun is back!” My mom said excitedly as she threw open the curtains. I covered my eyes with my hand, the strong rays temporarily blinding me as I tried to adjust to this overwhelming natural light.

“It’s so bright.” I replied, and my parents frowned at my lackluster reaction.

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” My mother responded, hurt in her voice.

“What am I supposed to say? Wohoo?”

“Yes, exactly! This is what we’ve been waiting for almost two decades!” My mother beamed before adding, “Now get dressed. We don’t know how long it’ll be here, so we have to take advantage of it. Be ready in ten minutes!”

I threw on sweatpants and a sweatshirt quickly before finishing my morning get-ready routine and walked into the living room to find my parents anxiously huddled by the door. “I thought you’d be outside by now.”

“No, we wanted to wait to see you experience the sun for the first time.” My father answered. “Now, are you ready?” I nodded and my parents looked at each other with the biggest smiles I’ve ever seen, before throwing the door open and stepping outside.

As soon as I walked outside, I was overcome by how bright and frankly how hot it was. Normally, you couldn’t walk outside without feeling chilled to the bone. And now? I felt like I could pass out any second. I rolled up the sleeves on my sweatshirt, although it provided no relief. In doing so, I felt a drop of water hit my eye. I used my sleeve to wipe it off and looked up at the blue sky as another drop rolled into my eye. I huffed and shouted out,

“Is it raining?”

“No, honey that’s just sweat. Here let’s go inside for a second.” My father led me inside before grabbing a pair of scissors and cutting off my sleeves, providing instant relief. It was weird, being warm. I didn’t like how the sweat burned my eyes but I figured I’d have to get used to it because the return of the sun had erased a decade off my parents and it didn’t look like we were going inside any time soon.

My eyes danced around, taking in the stumps of where I imagined a once beautiful forest was. Would things grow again? Become green? Rejuvenate life back into these desolate lands? I shook off the dozens of other questions that I couldn’t answer, not wanting to think about the more-than-likely re-disappearance of the sun and my parent’s subsequent reactions.

Instead, I looked back up at the sky and narrowed my eyes upon spotting white puffs in the midst of all that blue.

“What are those white things?” I asked, shielding my eyes. If this sun does stay, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how bright it is.

My parents chuckled. “Those are clouds, Tatum.” I felt like a young child asking all of these questions, not knowing something as simple as a cloud. But before this, all I could see was a small scope of the world, mostly through flashlights or candlelight, neither of which gave me even a glimpse of this beautiful landscape around us.

I smiled. “So, how did you guys used to spend your days outside?”

My parents glanced at one another before my mother replied, “We’d ride our bikes, swim in pools or lakes, hike, play with chalk and draw on the street and sidewalks. You name it. We should go do something instead of just stand here, who knows how long this will last.”

Within a few minutes, along with a bag of food and other supplies, we were headed to a nearby park, if you could even call it that, to hike and explore around. Truthfully, I didn’t make it longer than a half hour before I was out of breath, I wasn’t used to walking more than a couple steps at a time considering the small state of our cabin.

My parents trudged along with ease as though it was muscle memory. Every few seconds they’d spot something and show one another, and by the end of the day I wouldn’t be surprised if their faces hurt from all of this smiling.

“You guys used to do this for fun?” I huffed, swatting away the pooled sweat off my forehead. I lagged behind a few steps, my calves burned and my chest was tight but I was determined to keep going for the sake of my parents.

“Oh yeah, your dad and I used to hike every Saturday morning for a few hours. Then we’d usually hit a farmers market or go shopping…” My mother trailed off and glimpsed back at me before a look of horror flashed across her face.

“What? What is it?” I shrieked, smacking my face for any crawling bugs. I recoiled when my face stung and my eyes glistened with tears.

“Oh Walker, she’s gotten the worst sunburn.”

~~ I don’t like sunburns. My skin has itched and burned relentlessly for the past hour, anytime my shirt brushes against my skin it sends me on pins and needles.

“You okay?” My father asked. We finally made it to the top of the cliff, although we tried to hide under any possible shade to prevent it from getting any worse. Now we were sitting close to the cliff’s edge staring down at the large lake down below. The murky green water was still, at least it looked it from up here and there were no signs of wildlife. The air was serene, and the slight breeze made the almost ungodly temperature a little more tolerable. I just hoped I could get used to this sun.

“Can we go swimming? Maybe it’ll help the burn.” I asked, hoping the water would soothe my skin.

“We don’t know what’s still living in that lake, if anything, it’s probably best we avoid it.” I exhaled loudly, showing my disappointment. “Wait a second, I have an idea.”

After heading down the cliff, we sat a few feet away from the lake on a blanket and ate lunch. As we picked up, my dad grabbed a rock and skipped it across the water and his eyes lit up when I did the same which quickly turned into a competition. Surprisingly, I won and my mother and I wouldn’t let my father live it down the entire trek back to the cabin.

My parents kept nudging one another with smirks on their faces. I liked this side of my parents, the happy-go-lucky, not a care-in-the-world kind. By the time we returned home, the sun had wore me out and I could barely keep my heavy eyelids open.

I dozed off on the couch for a few minutes before a tap on my shoulder stirred me awake.

“Tatum, come outside, we have a surprise for you.”

In the clearing a few feet from the house was a massive tent. Huddled to the side were three lawn chairs and a small fire in a can. “We’re going to burn some marshmallows and sleep out in the tent tonight. Isn’t that fun?”

I nodded a smile growing on my face. “But we’ve never slept outside before. Why now?”

“That’s because we never had stars to look at.” My father pointed up at the night sky littered with stars. A shooting star danced across the never-ending black abyss and my parents urged me to make a wish. My only wish was for the sun to keep coming back each day.

For the next week, the unrelenting sun never faltered, and we continued spending every waking minute outside. My parents developed a morning routine of sipping their coffees on the porch while I either read or just basked in the sun. The sunburn faded and I gradually grew used to the new wave of heat that came from the sun.

Until it went away.

Ten blissful days. Only ten. We didn’t know what to make of it at first. Glued to the windows, we couldn’t take our eyes off the sky, while the rational part of our minds screamed at us that the sun wasn’t coming back anytime soon.

Any source of newfound happiness evaporated from the cabin entirely. After the second day, I overheard my mother tearfully ask my father, “Will it come back? Do you think we’ll feel the sun again?”

“I don’t know, honey. I hope so.” He rubbed her shoulder with a sad smile.

Silence hung heavy in the cabin for the better part of a week. The three of us were unable to think about anything else or do anything that could preoccupy our minds. I had thought my parents were overdramatic all these years, but now sitting here once more in the dim candlelight, I understood.

Without a word, my parents headed to bed and I followed soon after. I dreamt about the sun and walking through a field of wildflowers before my mother’s squeal tore me out of it. I sighed, wishing I could’ve spent just a few more minutes in that dream before my eyes flashed open. Light filled my room once more and I tore my covers off and put on clothes as fast as I could.

Within seconds I was standing at the wide-open front door and stepped into the sunshine with a smile on my face, loving the way the sun’s rays heated my skin.