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Fiction Funny

I need a vacation, I thought as I walked through the Realm Between the Worlds, preparing to escort yet another person to Heaven, or Hell, or the Afterlife, it all depends on what they believe in. We accommodate all beliefs of life after death, but for some reason, humans and their limited minds keep insisting that there is only one true belief, only one way to go. This particular person, whom I read about in the Book of Life, doesnโ€™t really have a specific opinion on life after death. He had a long and good quality life and died a peaceful death. I take in my surroundings, despite having seen it more times than I can count over the last billion years. Itโ€™s almost like being inside of a cloud, yet somehow have a firm ground beneath your feet. My black cloak dragged behind me, my wooden staff guiding me through the mist. My dark black hair flows down my back, and I push some of it behind my ear. This is not how I really look, but the Realm of Souls elders decided I had to take on this human-like form that is more comprehensible to humans. My twin sister, Life, has a much better job than me. She can create basically as much as she wants, as long as it is within the regulations of the elders. I guess her job is also harder, though, considering that the balance of planet Earth is within her hands. All I do is escort dead souls to their afterlives. It still isnโ€™t easy however, since I have been doing this for much longer, but thatโ€™s another story. I peer through the mist to see a shadowy male figure. As I move closer, I see that he is a 20 year old man in a defense position. I then remember from reading in the Book of Life that he took Taekwondo since he was 5.ย 

โ€œWho are you? Where am I?โ€ he demands.ย 

I sigh. โ€œI am Death,โ€ I say. โ€œI am here to escort you to your afterlife.โ€

โ€œWait, Iโ€™m dead?โ€ he asks.

โ€œYes, technically. But now I must escort you, so please come with me.โ€

He takes a moment to examine me. โ€œArenโ€™t you supposed to be a male? And have a sheath, not a plain wooden staff?โ€

I sigh again. โ€œDonโ€™t believe everything you hear,โ€ I tell him. โ€œNow come, I must escort you to the Choosing Room.โ€

โ€œChoosing Room?โ€ he asks, finally dropping his defensive position.

โ€œYes, the Choosing Room. Usually I would lead visitors to their own afterlife beliefs, but since you donโ€™t really have one, you must now choose one.โ€

โ€œOh,โ€ he says. He looks at his arms and asks โ€œWhy am I so young? I am- was- 72 years old.โ€

โ€œAfter you die, you go into your prime state in life. Now, if you are finished interrogating me, will you please come with me?โ€

โ€œOkโ€ฆโ€ he says hesitantly. I turn and walk towards what is seemingly a wall of clouds and enter the Choosing Roomโ€ฆ

An hour later (in Earth time, that is, since there is no real time here) I am back in the Realm Between the Worlds after escorting 15 others to their afterlife. There were some complications: a woman who refused to believe she was dead, a premature baby (those are always difficult), and a young boy who wouldnโ€™t go unless his mama was with him. I walked towards the Book of Life once again and started reading about the next person I would escort.ย 

NAME: Jane Wallows

AGE AT DEATH: 32ย 

HOW THEY DIED: car accident

DEATH BELIEFS: none

ADDITIONAL INFO: took dance at the age of 4, witnessed motherโ€™s death, Emily Wallows, at the age of 7, lived with her grieving father until the age of 13โ€ฆ

I stopped reading, exhausted and weary. I need a break, I thought. A vacation, something. I could go to the Realm of Souls and rest there. I could visit one of the other planets, but those are just developing with no real forms of life. I could go to Earth and have a vacation like the humans do. Maybe a nice tropical islandโ€ฆ I just need to find a substitute. Luna? No, sheโ€™s in the middle of a lunar eclipse right now. Critter? Iโ€™m pretty sure sheโ€™s still trying to talk Life into making more vegans. Vine? I doubt she would want to take on my job, especially after I denied her request to make plants have an afterlife. I thought of several others that could take on my job, but they were all either busy with current events or on bad terms with me. Suddenly, I thought of the one soul who would be more than willing to help me, and had plenty of time on their handsโ€ฆ

After instructing Humor on what she needs to do, I left the Realm Between the Worlds and entered The Universe. I quickly travelled to Earth as a black shadow, since it was much easier than taking the Spirit Train. Too many stops. I spawned myself in the middle of a forest near a city whose name I could not recall. I kept my human-like appearance since transforming to my true form would probably cause a world-wide panic, at the very least. People are already going to stare at me. I walked through the dense trees, searching for the airport in which my travel agent will meet me. I already made the arrangements to go to a nice, quiet, private island for a week. I stopped in front of the airport, ignoring the staring eyes of those around me. I walked up to the entrance of the airport and saw a short man with short, black hair (actually, he was average in height on human terms, but I was particularly tall and basically towered over him). He took one look at me and started freaking out.ย 

โ€œOh no please!โ€ he shouted, waving his arms in front of him, โ€œDonโ€™t take me! Itโ€™s not my time yet! I have a wife, and kids and-โ€

He was interrupted by someone in the crowd screaming โ€œItโ€™s Death! Heโ€™s come to take us all!โ€

Everyone within a mile radius cleared out of the area, shouting โ€œIโ€™m too young to die!โ€

I rolled my eyes. So much for not causing world-wide panic. I looked at the man who would be my travel agent. He was terrified at the sight of me.ย 

โ€œA-a-are you D-d-death?โ€ he quivered.

โ€œYes, and you are Peter McQuill?โ€ I asked.

โ€œY-y-yes... I-Iโ€™m sorry, I didnโ€™t e-e-expect Death himโ€ฆ herself toโ€ฆโ€

โ€œItโ€™s fine,โ€ I say quickly. โ€œAnd donโ€™t worry, Iโ€™m not going to kill you. Thatโ€™s not even my job. Are you ready to take me to my island now?โ€

โ€œY-yes,โ€ he replied. He hesitated before turning around and walking into the now abandoned airport except for the few workers who wished they were on break and the occasional elderly person walking by, not caring that I was even there. Peter escorted me to my plane, continuously looking behind his shoulder at me. We arrived at the private plane I had rented. He stands to the side and gestures โ€œThis way, Miss Deathโ€

March 05, 2021 13:38

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8 comments

Radhika Diksha
07:41 Mar 15, 2021

It was such an interesting thought. The emotions of death. Awesome. Great. I loved the uniqueness of the plot and will tell you that you did a great job. Yes, you may have gotten few likes but the content of the story is amazing. Great work.

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so you let humor take care of death for a while? I'm sorry, but that is kinda humorous XD great story XDDDD I like that they could still identify her as death despite all the myths and legends XD. Great job with this Abbie :) L.W.

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Kelly Dennison
16:41 Mar 09, 2021

That was an interesting ride! Poor Miss Death...just wants to chill for a minute ;) I love this creative use of the prompt!

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Kelly Dennison
16:44 Mar 09, 2021

Even better! Thanks for sharing :)

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