Expectant father

Jerry was comfortable in the chair and thought he would like to sit there forever. You see, where he sat already existed, he had already gotten to this point and felt it sensible he stay put where he knew how things were. If he moved, for any reason, he would only invite disaster.

The phone in the main desk area rang and a nurse picked it up. She spoke quickly and made many hand gestures then she hung up. She leaned over to speak to another nurse and they both looked at Jerry. The floor security guard walked over with his hands in his pockets, when he got to Jerry he folded his arms.

“Your first?,” he said. 

“Yes, my first.” Jerry replied.

“If you’re this nervous you’ll be fine.” 

The waiting room was cozy and you could see it was built to soothe the expectant fathers that usually cluttered the place with such nervousness that the room seemed to hum. The couches were deep and plush and the hospital provided sheets and pillows. There two other soon to be fathers across from Jerry and the security guard went to go speak with them. 

Hours passed and through the window you could see a dark redness coming up behind the skyscrapers. The security guard handed out drinks to the men sitting around. 

When they finished their drinks the guard motioned for them to sit closer . 

“Jerry is having his first, what about you two?,” he asked. One of the men sullen faced rubbed his chin and sat back. The other one looked at Jerry before he spoke.

“I’m Jeff and this will be my third child. I can’t tell you to expect though, it’s different for everyone.” 

The other man looked at Jeff but did not speak. The guard patted Jerry on the shoulder. “I’ve worked here a long time, I can usually tell the ones that will be good fathers.”

“And the others?,” Jerry said.

“The others?”

“You said usually you can tell, what about the other times?” 

The guard sat back in his chair. 

“He wants to say the others are like me, not so good fathers. Or that’s what he would have you believe.” The sullen faced man said. “Call me Merv, what’s your name pal?”

Jerry told him his name. 

“I resent what you said there, Merv,” the guard said. “I never once said you are not a good father.”

“You never said I would be a good one either, seems like the same thing if you ask me,” Merv said.

Jeff went to get more drinks. Outside the sun hung over the buildings and where they sat the sunlight approached them. 

The nurses at the desk were watching the men talk and once in a while would whisper to each other.

“What makes a good father and what makes a bad one?” Jerry said. 

“That’s up to you, pal,” Merv said. “Don’t let this guy here tell you otherwise.” He pointed to the guard.

The guard said,” I only ever try to help. I worked here a long time and all I do is try to help.”

“Let’s everybody calm down. It always gets tense right before, but things ease up,” Jeff said. 

“Ease up, how?” Merv said. “All they ever want is to have more and more and then you wake up one morning and your house is cluttered.”

Jerry took a swig from his drink and wiped his mouth he considered.

“You’re talking about something else,” Jeff said to Merv. Merv ignored him and looked at the guard as if he was only seeing him for the first time. The guard cleared his throat and smoothed his pants but then he looked at Merv and nodded for him to go ahead.

“How many do you have?” Merv said.

“I don’t have any,” the guard said.

“Of course you don’t, and now that I think on it I’m not at surprised,” Merv said.

Jeff rubbed his chin and watched the guard with one eyebrow raised.

“Then forgive me for asking, but how can you know a good father when you see one? Not being one yourself?, Jeff said.

“It doesn’t matter,” Jerry said.

“Wha-,” Merv began. He was leaning forward in his chair almost standing off it his face had taken on a tinge of red.

“I said it doesn’t matter and it doesn’t.”

“Let the man speak, then,”Jeff said.

The guard smiled smoothed his pants again. 

“Why do you say it doesn’t matter?,” the guard asked. He raised his hand to stop Merv from interjecting.

“People are allowed to get gut feelings about things. You were nice enough to try to keep me calm earlier, I think you’re a good enough guy,” Jerry said. By then the yellow brightness outside was morphing into a dark orange and was lower on the buildings.

“I don’t need to have a kidney stone to know the fiery pain it causes when it’s cutting through a person,” the guard said.

“No, but you wouldn’t know it’s “fiery” unless it’s your bloody piss in the toilet,” Merv said.

“ A gut feeling is all you get when you look a guy and think he’ll be a good father?”, Jeff said. He laughed and Jerry noticed he had very straight and white teeth.

“Five”, Merv said.

“What’s that?”, Jeff said.

Merv was looking at the guard. He was standing then and his face was redder than earlier. The guard stood up and now they were both standing facing each other.  

“Easy now fellas, remember where we are?” Jeff said. 

Jerry could not speak. He could only look at the two men who stood in front of him, watch the rise and fall of their chest and the redness in Merv’s face. 

“What do you say to that you great big fool?, I have five when this one is born and I will be five times the father you are.” 

The guard opened his arms wide and hugged Merv. Then he said, “Five times the blessing, five times the curse.”

The nurses knowing it was safe now walked over and told Jerry his wife had arrived to the delivery room and they were ready to begin. Jerry was comfortable in the chair and knew it sensible to stay where he knew how things were but he thought he would like to know how things could be as well.