10 years

He was sweet, nice, and attractive. He protected me when I needed it most. He was a Prince Charming, desired by all, and I was his princess. I was his Cinderella, his Snow White. When he asked me to marry him, I didn’t think much of it. I didn’t think at all. “Yes!” I had been so excited then, accepting it without thought. 10 years later, and I have never regretted my decision more. 

10 years before, the day of the engagement 

“We’re getting married!” I yelled, flashing my ring to my mother. Mom laughed, shifting in her seat. 

Present Time 

I hadn’t realized it then, but she had had an uncomfortable look deep in her eyes somewhere. She knew that our marriage would be catastrophic, but perhaps it was my happiness that stopped her from saying anything. 

10 years before, The day of the wedding 

“I can’t believe we’re finally getting married.” He smiled back at me, flashing that winning smile, “Yeah, who would’ve thought. Me and you. We’re perfect together.” Butterflies flew around in my stomach, and it seemed as though I could never stop smiling. “Promise me you’ll never leave me,” he said. “I promise.” I whispered back. “Now, let’s go, I’m sure your mom and mine are both searching for us. My mom would kill me if she knew that I saw you in your wedding dress before the wedding actually started.” I laughed, pure joy coming out of my mouth. I would never leave him, no matter what . 

Present time 

“Noya, where are you?” I can hear it, but his voice doesn’t compel me to move. I know what is going to happen next and I fear it. “Noya, where are you?” Louder now, he’s coming towards me. “Noya, where the hell are you?” Almost screaming, he’s coming closer and closer by the second. He puts his head into our room, and I jump. “Noya, I’ve been looking for you for 5 minutes now! Are you mute, or did something else prevent you from talking?” I shake my head no. His voice doesn’t draw mine to his anymore. “I’m going out. Don’t expect me back until tomorrow.” I have made him mad. I don’t feel guilty at all though, I’m more peaceful without him. This marriage was the worst decision of my life. 

9 years before, Their anniversary 

“The necklace is beautiful. Thank you for this, Henry.”  I kissed him gently, and he wrapped his arms around my waist. Tight. “Henry, I’m pregnant.” I’d been planning on telling him for weeks now, and it felt like a burden had been lifted off my shoulders when I finally did. “I-wow! We’re going to be parents!” And he hugged me again, and my heart felt full of joy and love for him.  

Present Time 

After the miscarriage, the happy marriage that we had went downhill fast. We barely exchanged a word to each other, and a month or two later, even those interactions stopped. For a whole year, we didn’t exchange words, and then our anniversary came around the next year. 

8 years before, their Anniversary 

I have a gift for him, but I’m still not sure whether I should give it to him or not. He hasn’t said anything to me all week, and we haven’t talked in months. But this was the only chance I had to fix our marriage, and so I took it. I slowly walked up to him sleeping on the couch. “Umm, Henry? I have a present for you.” He stirred and slowly opened his eyes. “Hey! I have one for you too!” I smiled and laughed. I missed Henry. “Ok, but if you want my present, you have to close your eyes.” He sat up quickly and closed his eyes. I dropped my present in his open hands, a gold watch that his father had told me to give to him on the day of our 2nd anniversary. “It’ll save you some work for finding presents for a year.” he said to me, winking. Henry opened his eyes and looked overjoyed. “This was my dad’s from when he was in the military. It’s one of his most prized possessions, how did you manage to get it?” I smiled at him, stroking his face. “Well, actually he gave it to me. Told me to gift it to you on our second anniversary.” Henry laughed, “Wow, thank you!” And he kissed me then. The butterflies fluttered around my stomach again, and it felt like old times again. “I’m sorry for how I’ve been after the ‘accident’, I should have been there for you.” I sighed, but smiled as I did. “It’s okay, Henry. I’ve healed, and you have too. Let’s just leave it behind us and move on.” Henry laughed, and we kissed.He was my Prince Charming and I was his Cinderella, always and forever. I see a red rose. Beautiful.

Present time

After that, our marriage started looking up, and we were happy again. I had felt happier than I ever did since the beginning of our marriage, free, liberated. “Noya, I’m home.” I got up, there was no point in making him mad again. “I’m sorry, honey, I shouldn’t have left. Especially not after your mother’s death, I’m a douche.” I smiled at him, a weary one, the biggest one I could muster up. “It’s okay, really, it’s okay sweetheart.” He kissed her then, but the butterflies didn’t float around her stomach anymore.  They died years ago. 

7 years before, Henry’s Father’s funeral 

“Let’s go, Noya. We don’t have all day.” I sighed, “Yeah i’m coming Henry.” We walked into the funeral together, the somber mood and the silent sobs dampening my spirit. Henry had been off ever since he got the news that his father had had a heart attack, and he was dead. They couldn’t save him, it seems. I cried, but weirdly enough, Henry didn’t cry at all. He sat down, his face stone cold. He hadn’t talked to me for days, hadn’t even been home. I didn’t ask where he had gone, and he didn’t tell me. Not that I cared, but some part of me suspected a horrible thing. Was he cheating on me? I felt immediately guilty for thinking that at my father-in-law's funeral, but it had been in the back of my mind for a while now, and it wouldn’t go away. 2 hours later, the last words had been said, and my father-in-law was buried. As we were saying goodbye to everyone, Henry whispered something into my ear. “I love you.” he had said then. And later that night, I silently cried myself to sleep. A carnation appears, the rose is gone. It is pink. 

Present time 

“Noya, when are we having the funeral?” I didn’t say anything, how could I?  My own mother had died not even a day ago, and Henry was already talking about the funeral. “Darling, we can hold it next week or this Friday, whenever you feel ready.” I didn’t say anything, didn’t even nod my head. This Friday? I couldn’t possibly bear to accept it so soon. I needed time. Weeks, months, even years wouldn’t be enough time to have a funeral for my mother. I needed time. “Ok, I’m booking it for this Friday.” I sat across from Henry and tears rolled down my face. Everything is fine. 

6 years ago, the day of their anniversary

“Once upon a time..” Henry read. He was reading to his nephew, who he was extremely fond of. His nephew told me that I was his favorite, not Henry , but I knew he secretly enjoyed Henry’s company more. “Noya, sit down here. You can sit next to Chad and I can read to you both.” Henry said. After Henry’s father had died, for months he hadn’t said a word. I started getting paranoid and stalking him relentlessly, trying to figure out if he was cheating on me. So far, I haven’t found anything, but he’s begun talking to me again, and hope glimmers somewhere inside of me. “And then Prince Charming..” Henry’s voice has lost all it’s appeal. It used to give me butterflies, but now I feel nothing. I see the pink carnation again.  

Present time

Cinderella is playing on the TV. She is sobbing on the ground after her stepmother and her evil stepsisters stripped her and tore her dress apart. Then the fairy godmother appears, and a few minutes later she’s dancing with Prince Charming, and they’ve fallen in love. My heart hurts. My Henry, my Prince Charming has gone. I lost him long ago, my knight in shining armor. No more feeling like a princess, no more feeling like Cinderella. My story was never rags to riches, but it sure felt like it, the way he loved me, the way that we worked together, but it’s gone.

5 years before, the day of their anniversary 

I was smiling, because for the first time in a long time, I was happy. I was pregnant again, and I knew that Henry would be happy with the news. “Hey, Noya, I’m home!” I teetered back and forth on my feet. All day I had been so confident that he would be happy with the news, but I was just starting to realize that he might be mad. After the miscarriage there was no mention of even having kids, and now I was pregnant again. “Henry, I’m pregnant.” He turned around suddenly and stopped in the process of untying his shoes. “Your pregnant?” he whispered . “Yeah I am. I’m sorry Henry.” He got up and ran his hands through his hair. “How could this happen? I’ve never-. We’ve never- I just can't.” He tied his shoes back on and walked out the door. My heart felt heavy, and I regretted telling him.  I shouldn’t have. My flower appears in front of my eyes, starting to wilt. 

Present time 

I’m rewatching Cinderella for the third time this week. Watching her get her happy ending gives me some glimmer of hope, somewhere deep inside my heart, but not so deep that I can’t feel it. I can feel it, but my heart drops to my stomach right afterwards. Henry hasn’t been home in days, and I know where he is, I know his location through the Find My iPhone app, but I suspect he hasn’t forgotten about it either. Henry left a few days ago because I told him that I was getting bored of staying at home and cooking and cleaning all the time. He told me that that was my only job. I told him I wasn’t going to do it anymore. He got angry and stormed out the door. He’s waiting for my apology, but I won’t give him one. Eventually, he’ll have to come back. Right?

3 years before, their anniversary

It’s been a year before we have had a proper conversation. He told me to get rid of the child or he would leave me. I did as he said, I didn’t know what I would possibly do without him. I regret my decision. I should have watched the sequels to Cinderella. I should have known that time isn’t kind. I have lost everything now, my child, my husband, my happiness. My flower has begun to burn.  

2 years before, their anniversary 

We’ve been talking again, and Henry told me about how he wants to have another child. I nodded my head and went along with it. He told me he’d talk to me again if I agreed to have a child. I nodded my head and went along with it. He told me he loved me. I nodded my head and went along with it. Now, our anniversary has come, and I’m not pregnant. My time has passed. Henry tells me that he won’t talk to me until I become pregnant. I nod my head and go along with it. Henry tells me that he doesn’t love me. I nod my head and go along with it. Oh, how many tears I've shed this year. 

1 year before, their anniversary 

Henry tells me that he cheated. I cry. Henry tells me that he wants me to give him a child. I cry. He tells me he loves me. I cry. He tells me he hates me. I cry. He tells me he wants me to leave. I cry. He tells me that he loves me. I cry. Oh, how my flower burns. 

Present time

“What do you think of having a child?” he says. I hold in the tears. I do not cry. “I don’t want one.” He sighs. “I came back for you, you know. The least you could do is bear my child.” I sigh. “I already said I don’t want to.” I hold in the tears. I do not cry. “Noya, I think we should get a divorce.” 

“I think we should too.” I say, regretting the words the moment they’ve left my mouth. 

“Ok, I’ll get the documents by tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

Okay.

My Prince Charming has left me, there is no happy ending to this story.  

I hold in the tears. I do not cry. 

My flower has burnt to ashes.