A Leap of Forgiveness

It had been over eighteen years since my brother Shane and I heard from our father. He and our mother divorced when I was ten and Shane was three. When he remarried his second wife, she forbid him to have anything to do with us. It hurt that he just seem to have thrown us away for his new family. Mother would tell us not to worry that he would need us someday. Our father missed out on so many special things in our lives. Birthdays, graduations, weddings, and the births of his grandchildren. In late September, our mother received a phone call from our father's youngest sister Olivia. Our mother could barely make out what she was saying because she was so upset.

"Sara how are you doing?" asked Olivia.

"I'm doing fine," said Mother. "What's wrong?"

Olivia told our mother that father had to be admitted to Palmer's Regional Hospital. Father was suffering from emphysema and he didn't have long to live. He wanted to see his children before he died. Our mother told Olivia that she would have to talk to Shane and me first and would get back to her. Olivia gave mother her cell phone number to call her back. Olivia lived in Chicago with her husband John and their four children. When we were younger, she would send us Christmas and birthday gifts ever year. We never heard anything from our father or the rest of his other three siblings. Later that afternoon, Shane called and said to meet at mother's house. There was something important that she wanted to talk to us about. I had just got off from work and my feet were killing me but I agreed that I would meet him over there. As I pulled into my mother driveway, I could smell the freshly baked cinnamon raisin bread in the air. Shane and mother was sitting at the dining room table.

"I got a call from your Aunt Olivia today," said Mother. " Your dad is in the hospital and wants to see you both."

"What's wrong with him mother?" asked Shane.

"He doesn't have long to live honey," said Mother.

I couldn't believe that this man wanted to see us after all these years. I wondered what his wife had to say about him reaching out to us. She had to be dead or something because the heifer couldn't stand us. I remember when we tried to reach out to him when we were younger and he wouldn't even respond back to us. I was bitter and didn't care about going to see him. Shane had a more forgiving heart and he wanted to see him. Then I remembered what our grandmother Mary had said about forgiveness almost as if she was still here with us. "Forgiveness is not for the other person but for you." Grandmother Mary was always knew the right words to say. I decided that I would go with Shane to see our father at the hospital.

On Saturday morning, Shane and I along with our families went to see our father. Oliva had called Shane before we left with the floor and room number at he hospital. I remember our father being a tall, tan-skinned man with broad shoulders and a muscular build. As he laid there in his hospital bed he looked like a totally different person. He had lost about a hundred pounds, his skin was darker, his face was thinner, his eyes had dark rings around them and he looked so frail. When he spoke to us his voice was almost like a whisper. We could barely understand a word he said but he seemed glad to see us. Shane and I took turns introducing him to our spouses and our children. Father smiled and nodded his head. A tear began to roll down the side of his face. I took a Kleenex for the table next to his bed and gently wiped the tear away. Seeing him lying there so helpless made me fell sympathy for the man whom I was angry and blamed all those years. He told us that his second wife had died six years ago and he never remarried. It was getting late and visiting hours ended at 9:00 p.m. His doctor came in and told us that we were more than welcome to come back in the morning. Father reached out and took Shane's and my hands into his.

"Thank you both for coming to see me," whispered Father.

"You're very welcome." said Shane.

Before we left his room, I bent down and kissed him on his forehead. The hospital was located in Cordova, Alabama. It was more than fifty miles from where we lived in Myrtle. Everyone was sleepy, a good thing we all had eaten something before we went to the hospital. We all pile into my brother's Suburban and left for home. Thank God it was a Saturday that we went to visit our father so there were no worries about anyone having to get up the next morning going to work.

On Sunday afternoon, the doctor called telling us that father had passed away peacefully in his sleep. We were all sad but thankful that we got a chance to say goodbye. His funeral was going to be that following Sunday. We never knew that our father was in the military. He was given a military funeral honor because he was a veteran. The flag was folded and presented to Olivia upon father's final request. After the funeral, we got the chance to meet our other siblings. The two men Jacob and Ross warmly greeted us with handshakes and hugs. The other sibling Susie frowned and turned away she didn't want anything to do with us. Shane and I exchanged number with our step brothers. We all agreed to keep in touch as much as possible. There was a repass dinner after the funeral where family and friends gathered and socialized. We got the chance to meet and talk to Olivia. She introduced us to her husband John and their children. John was a funny, short round, bald man who loved telling jokes and doing impressions of our father. It was nice to get to know the other side of the family. I'm glad our father wanted to reconcile things with us before he passed. There is a wonderful quote by Archbishop Desmond Tutu that reads, "Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning." Taking a leap of forgiveness for my father restored a new peaceful beginning for me.