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Mystery Thriller

I sat down on the scarlet red couch and laid my legs on top of the circular table in front. As the front window was left open, I could feel the unsettling breeze come in. picking up my coffee, I decided to inspect today’s newspaper as well. The steaming coffee rushed a warm sensation throughout my whole body. “no new crimes going on… That’s surprising!” I mumbled under my breath.

I tend to talk to myself a lot, I wish I didn’t actually. Another lackluster day had passed, and I had no hope to find a case. Zzzzz-zzzzzz. My phone started vibrating. “Hello?” I said

“Hello, miss Addison! I would like to inform you that there has been a murder at Mr black’s place – a two casino holder. I would like you to run the case with Mr. Sallow as your assistant”

I let out a content sigh and suddenly flung into detective mode. “yes sir! I agree. I would like a few files sent to me about Mr black and what he was doing at the crime scene and who was with him.”

“of course, my lady! I will send those to you by tomorrow, but I would like you to come to headquarters by Monday.”

“ok sir, I will surely do. See you later”

“yes, yes, see you later!”

Morning arises and Addison got up at around five am and got into her blazer and jeans. She packed her keys for her locker and her briefcase with all the essentials. She was at HQ by six am and many people were there working on different cases. “morning Addison! Ready to get into action? This way over here. It's the room labeled Mr black.”

“thank you, sir!”

“oh, come on Addison, you can call me Mr brown – by my last name”

“of course, sir – er, I mean Mr brown”

Johnson Brown – detective agency manager was selected for the job only a month before the old manager had had a heart attack from his illness.”

I wonder why brown is so cheerful sometimes, it's just so odd. I guess he’s a jolly man, Addison wondered

She went into the office with her chest high in the air with proudness. She had finally got a case in so long – it was nice being back in action.

As she went in, she saw Mr. Sallow – her assistant greeting her and some other agency workers waving.

“Sallow, can you please pass me the files and I would like to get a visit to Black’s house in an hour please”

“of course, Addison” Sallow replied

I looked through the pages and found the page of suspects.

“Are these all the guests at the party?” I questioned to Sallow

“Yes, and here are the rest of the notes on them” sallow informed flipping to the next page.

OK, thanks Sallow. This is very helpful indeed.”

I read the victim's page and there were a variety of people who were there. None of them seemed to know each other at all…

 Garcia, Fan of money, and more money. She owns a luxurious house with a Bugatti La Voiture Noire and she’s Black’s college friend. In short, she’s filthy rich. She’s is a total tomboy and called the devil’s eye as some people have seen her in a devil’s outfit. She met Black in their second year of college as they were starting the same course – medicine.

Professor plum is Black’s non-related godfather who is the closest parent to him, alive. He’s is known to be a very successful scientist and a very messy person. He prefers to work in his laboratory rather than in his workplace. He is a very secretive person but very kind to Black. The only thing that ever happened in his life and affected him was when his mother passed away and Black was at the crime scene when she was having a heart attack

Black adopted a little girl once and he’s taken care of her ever since she was little. Scarlet studies in London now at a university and came home for her father’s party.

She used to be an orphan before black adopted her and now, she lives a happy life and Black has no regrets about adopting her.

Rosa Allen was Black’s childhood friend. She was the closest friend to him that he had other than Garcia. They have met quite a few times and they’re still in touch and she’s one of the main people he stays in touch with because Black isn’t a very social person. I think the last time they met was somewhere in the last month during the holidays for a coffee and meet at Starbucks.

Mr butcher is a very close person to Black. He was his primary school teacher and got very close to him Mr butcher gets very close with all his students friendly. Black also started emailing him for some study tips when he reached his high school and ever since he started giving him some free tuition classes as well.

Ethan is his cousin who lost his parents in a car accident. He went to London a while before Scarlet did for studies as well, and before that, he lived with Black. He is very shy sometimes and a very noble teen and younger with black though it's only a little age difference.

finally, the one and only victim. Mr black – his real name as Liam. He is twenty-one years old and he got a bachelor’s degree and works as an accountant. He cut his medicine course with Garcia in the middle because of Ethan’s parents’ accident. According to his criminal records, he hasn’t done anything severe other than when he had pay in a fine for crossing a red light. He seems to be a clean man, so there is no way he would be killed for revenge. He could be killed for his money, but we can't find any other reason.

I looked up from the file page and grinned at Sallow eagerly. I was very surprised and proud that we had already gotten so much information on the suspects and the victim – Black.

“wow sallow! I can’t believe you already have so much information!”

“oh no worries Addison, it's no big deal”

Exactly an hour later we set off for black’s house as I booked in to visit the place before the clues rub away.

As we got there, the place was cold from the deserted air. An intense cold swept over them as they took a step into the dining room. Addison had been on millions of cases at millions of sites, but Black’s house just gave her insecurity. It was somewhere she has never been to. It felt… strange for her. As if all the clues were right in front of her eyes. As if she was being betrayed. There on the floor was marked the position Black was found in with chalk. They inspected the surroundings and all they came across was the obvious wine glass which must’ve fallen out of his hand and a wine bottle which must’ve fallen out of the other. Addison thought and thought while everyone else searched the entire room. She had a huge feeling that the murderer wouldn’t leave such a big clue – a wine glass fallen on the floor.” If I were the murderer, I would clean it up and move the body to a different place, so that it looks like the body was somewhere else!” Addison exclaimed

Everyone stared at her befuddled. “what do you mean Addison?” Sallow asked her eagerly.

“Well, I think the body was moved here and the wine glass and bottle were placed here on purpose!

“I think you are overthinking this Addison” Sallow egged

“I think I'm correct. Have we even searched for the other rooms? No. this place is a mansion, there are eight other rooms in this place!” Addison explained

But sallow was still not fully agreed with her

“ok, let’s say that your right and the body was moved, but how is that possible without coming on camera! We even used luminol and didn’t find any blood traces.” Sallow argued

“well, there is only one way then isn’t there, there must be a hidden passageway,” Addison said mysteriously

“Have you gone mad Addison? This isn’t a game, why in the world would Black have hidden passageways?”

“well, he’s a rich man, he might have built them in to escape, but the hidden passageways were used against him instead, but who would he have told about the passageways?”

“I don’t know but I still think you're overthinking this”

Addison started looking around the room herself. She was sure there was some kind of passageway somewhere in the room. Then she saw it. She saw a faint print of the bottom of some dusty shoes printed on a table directly next to a broken vase.

“Addison, we’ve already searched the broken vase, that must be an accident because we didn’t find anything suspicious near it” Sallow informed

“what about these shoe prints?” Addison called

“what?” Sallow called “we never saw those; what do you think they mean?”

“well, I think this picture is the hidden passageway” Addison remarked pointing directly at the painting above. She pulled and tugged it. Nothing happened “I think it's a false alarm, we should go back,” Sallow said eagerly

For a split-second, Addison was flabbergasted why Sallow wanted to get out of the place so quickly. It was like he didn’t want Addison to find something.

“no sallow, I have to find out how to open this – wait for a second…” Addison looked into the painting of a perfectly painted bookshelf. It looked exactly like a real one except for one thing… The titles of the books. Nearly none of the books had a title except, only one of the books had one. It looked like a golden cover with a scarlet red spine and in ancient Greek, it said ‘ανοίγω’. It was very tiny in the painting but just readable. Addison quickly opened up google translate from her phone and recorded the word. After learning the pronunciation from Greek pinyin, she repeated “anoígo” several times, but nothing seemed to happen. “Sallow was now trying very hard to get Addison to go, but she wouldn’t try less. Finally, after several minutes Addison had solved it.

She finally understood what it meant. She walked over to the bookshelf nearby and looked for the same book from the picture, and to her surprise, she found it. She took out the book halfway, and the painting didn’t just move, it opened up. Sallow looking very upset from the inside. Addison thought he was only faking his happiness. And Addison looking very excited, the two of them crept along the passageway. When both of them became very sick of crawling in such a suffocating place, they saw another painting, which they were able to open up easily. Gasping for so much air, they didn’t realize that the painting hole leads them to the kitchen. “I told you Sallow, there are so many other rooms and we haven’t investigated each one, if only we had done the kitchen before,” Addison said starting to look very irritated of Sallow now. she started to wish he hadn’t been selected for an assistant.

Looking at the kitchen. it seemed as though they had finally found the crime scene. There was a black shoe fallen on the floor with shoelaces untied. There was also a knife stand which was fallen over and one of the knives was missing. They looked for the missing knife and found it on the other side sitting on top of a chopping board, completely clean and there was a plant that had fallen over. Then, to sum it all up there has a big puddle of water on the floor. Before they touched anything, they got the whole place to be checked for fingerprints. There were none but the ones of Black himself. After all, that time used in finding fingerprints, they weren’t completely unsuccessful, they found a little note that was sitting on top of a hanging potato masher. The note was given to Addison directly and she read it. She instantly realized that the note was forgotten there on purpose because the note seemed to explain everything to Addison

The letter was written on thick parchment paper – a weird thing to have these days. And the writing was very swirly more like a cursive. Now for what it held. There was a little phrase about Black, like his full name and what he does and a picture of him. There were also all the guests coming to the party written down on it. Not quite all the gusts though, Garcia, Black’s friend’s name wasn’t on it. After reading it several times, Addison released that the note wasn’t from the killer, it was from the killer’s boss. The killer didn’t choose to kill black, his boss did. That’s why the information and photo were given to the murderer. This case was getting more and more confusing by the second.

Later that evening, most of the crime scene workers and researchers had left. Addison was still thinking, Sallow was planning in interviews with the suspects, Milla – Addison’s best friend was looking through suspect records, and Jason and his team were guarding the crime scene, Back at Black’s. Everyone that had gone home, was still thinking hard, no one was ever off duty. After a lot of hard thinking, Addison had come to one conclusion. “we have to interview Garcia ASAP” Addison informed

“Okay, but why?” Sallow answered

“Don’t you get it Sallow? Every guest's name was on the letter except for Garcia’s. That means the note was given to Garcia!” Addison explained

“oh yeah!” Sallow yelled surprised

“seriously Sallow, you couldn’t comprehend that much?” Addison questioned rolling her eyes.

"Conjecture is sometimes the only way out for a detective" Addison boasted as she spun her pen around her finger.

They headed out of the site back to HQ waiting for Garcia.

Sallow came into the room. "She's here".



September 12, 2020 07:06

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42 comments

07:21 Sep 12, 2020

Some notes: 1. THIS IS MY LONGEST STORY YET! I hope you don't get so bored. 2. I've revised it twice, but please point out any grammatical errors (As Aerin said in her last story, it's appreciated if you point out the location rather than classifying its existence) 3. Thank you so much for 400 points!!!!!!! 🥳 4. I love to read mystery but this is my first SHORT STORY written in Mystery, so pls tell me any areas of improvement. 5. This story is actually kinds based on the board game Cluedo. One of my Faves. 6. So as some of y...

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03:59 Sep 14, 2020

I am going to answer in the order of how you said things: 1. Yay! I wasn't bored, the story was great!! 2. I caught a few, mostly spelling errors, let me know if you want me to point those out. (I wasn't sure cause you said grammar errors but not anything else) 3. YAY! Congrats!! 4. Hmmm, I don't read a lot of mysteries so I don't know if I can give you any help in that area... maybe a little more of a complex plot? It was kinda a big build-up and then the answer was sorta obvious. 5. Cluedo?? Is that like Clue? 6. Oh, ok. 7. Your we...

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06:08 Sep 14, 2020

1. Thank god! 2. Lol sorry i meant spelling and grammar! Please tell me where they are! 3. YAY! 4. I actually haven't finished it so the plot does have a HUGE plot twist which you'll see in part two;) 5. it's a mystery board game! 6. yeah... 7. 😄

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16:52 Sep 14, 2020

Okie Dokie... this is what I found In your first paragraph at the beginning of the 3rd sentence, you didn't capitalize picking. This sentence- ¨it seemed as though they had finally found the crime scene.¨ It is supposed to be capitalized 3rd paragraph, 1st sentence, miss is supposed to be capitalized. 3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence. Mr Black is supposed to have a period after Mr and black is supposed to be capitalized. (I found that you made this mistake multiple times throughout the story with Mr. Black, Mr. Bucher, and more.) Tha...

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22:27 Sep 14, 2020

It's totally fine. I appreciate it. Yup, there is a part 2 ASAP!!

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23:16 Sep 14, 2020

Thanks! Yay! Let me know when it is out.

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Moonchild Luca
08:30 Sep 14, 2020

Plus, I found something in your bio... It will be 'exclamation mark' but you wrote it as 'explanation mark'

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09:31 Sep 14, 2020

This thing??: Explanation mark: Must you question everything! Question mark: Why are you always yelling? That's just a joke!! it's meant to be written 'explanation mark' Lol.

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Moonchild Luca
13:14 Sep 14, 2020

Oooh I'm sorry :( It's just that I am naturally obsessed over grammar. No offense.

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Hriday Saboo
13:03 Sep 13, 2020

Upvote spree??

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22:00 Sep 13, 2020

Sure! ill go upvote your comments

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Hriday Saboo
02:23 Sep 14, 2020

Thanks

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Hriday Saboo
13:01 Sep 13, 2020

Hey dusk read a couple of your stories and found them interesting and brilliant. Would you mind reading my stories, liking them and following me.

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22:00 Sep 13, 2020

Sure! will do after school

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Hriday Saboo
02:23 Sep 14, 2020

No problem

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Moonchild Luca
08:28 Sep 14, 2020

Hey! I read your bio! I am happy to inform that I am a Ravenclaw too😁, and my patronus is an eagle. My wand has a dragon heartstring core. What's yours?

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09:25 Sep 14, 2020

I have Unicorn hair

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Moonchild Luca
13:12 Sep 14, 2020

Whoa! That's great.

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Nice story girl! Loved the tension and the plot!

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23:48 Sep 12, 2020

Thanks sis

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Charles Stucker
08:00 Sep 14, 2020

a murder at Mr black’s- capitalize typo “yes sir! I agree. I would like a few files sent to me about Mr black..." So, you're being sloppy about capitalizing. Run the spell/grammar check for most. Then use the search function to replace black with Black. the old manager had had a heart attack from his illness.” lose the close quote. Also, you can drop one of the two hads- the old manager had a heart attack... I know it's a mystery, but you have character overload. This means more than the reader can keep separate. "Addison had bee...

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09:30 Sep 14, 2020

WOAH! BEST COMMENT I'VE EVER HAD!! Thank you so much for sharing your research with me. I'll try to change it as much as I can (I've recently been busy preparing for an exam). Anyway, yeah i do want to continue it, it's just so I thought if I continue it from there, it'll be hard to find a better cliffhanger then that before 3000 words. Again, thank you so much - it proves that you actually read it thoroughly!

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Avery G.
20:10 Sep 12, 2020

Wow, this was good! I loved it! The tension was amazing! Great job!

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23:48 Sep 12, 2020

Thank you!

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Avery G.
00:14 Sep 13, 2020

You're welcome!

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