The Dreaded Sun

The Dreaded Sun

Oh my goodness! Again I have to go outside, and I dread every morning. I need to get ready to go to work and I have to get up extra early to get ready for the start of the day routine. You see, I hate the sun, and everything that has to do with it. I myself prefer the gloomy, cloudy days where no sun surfaces at all during the day. So much to do before going out into the dreaded sunshine. It is so uncomfortable to my skin, my face gets red and splotchy. So my routine I have developed seems to help, but sometime the every day chore of it is monotonous and mundane. Between the shower, the after shower oil, and the dry off, that seems to take forever. The sunscreen to protect my skin takes the longest. I never know what will be visible and what won't.. Then choosing clothes that does not rub on my skin, or let any sunshine rays get to my skin is a feat I do decide every day. I have a wide range of clothes from hat and scarves for my head, many types of sunglasses to protect my eyes, and long sleeve shirts, long pants and shoes. Never wearing a pair of sandals? Oh my, do I yearn to sometimes wear open toes shoes even. Working during the day, the getting ready, the bus ride to work, and my fellow employees must thing I am crazy. It could be 80 degrees and I am wearing long sleeves and pants into work, but totally change once inside. Packing my backpack with the clothes to wear at work today, a nice blouse and a knee length skirt, with high heels sounds good for today. I have an office meeting early this morning, so I need to be dressed in my best. I hope the meeting is not in the conference room with all the windows. I really hate that office. I then would need to try to steer clear of them damn windows so I don't splotch up in the middle of the conference in front of all those people, including my boss and his bosses.

Arriving at the bus stop is just embarrassing. At first when I started riding the bus, I never noticed the odd looks, because I was so embarrassed I kept my eyes to the floor. Slowly as I got used to being around people, I managed t5o look up once in awhile. I was probably as uncomfortable as the rest of the passengers, myself being overdressed, and them trying to figure out if I was someone with a mental problem or a homeless person that wears all their clothes at once.

Arriving at work by bus, there is no place to hide. Everyone looks, and everyone giggles at the get-up I have on. This used to bug me so bad that I had a few times I just wanted to get back on that bus and go home. As time went on, it was easier to just ignore them all. I just stood tall, walked with confidence, and entered the front office like I owned the place. It was good to pretend. My confidence of my 'sun problem' was small at first. I had to work up the mental strength to say 'who gives a shit anyway? Its not their problem'. "I have to cope with this every day" I say out loud, not realizing that I did. Now when the office employees stare, I say "take a picture, it lasts longer." Childish, yes, but functional for my self esteem.

Rushing into a nearby restroom, I don't have my own, of course, I change my clothes. I check to make sure my sunscreen is on and not showing immensely. Walking out of the bathroom, there is a hush. I wonder at first if I had not put on all my clothes at first. Then there was stares and smiles from peole that I thought would always be 'mean and condescending'. Somehow along the way, I guess my secret was out. But it was too soon to tell how the rest of my day was going to go. There was still that conference I needed to be at.

Just my luck, the conference went off without much of a hitch. The only glitch was the computer had a problem loading, so I had to talk my way through the presentation. With the sun glaring through the windows, I could feel my skin flushing. I excused myself for a moment, and went into the bathroom to see what damage control could be done. I knew the feeling of flush on my face was a sure sign I was a speckled mess. I looked like I had the measles. On goes the makeup concealer I had stuffed into my purse. It worked mostly. I knew I could not do all that was needed, I had people waiting for me. Well, low and behold, someone fixed the computer and the main screen lit up like it should have in the beginning. I was pleased to see that now I could explain the presentation and not just use words, but pictures as well. This way was pleasing, the darkness of the room hid my face of splotches and speckles that were surfacing from under the makeup I had put on.

After a harrowing morning of fate, and the sun shining like it was teasing me, daring me to come outside with nothing much on, I changed my clothes, and again entered the bus home. This time there was a new group of people, with a new wave of problems, that they just could not hone in on me, for their problems were more disasterous than mine I suppose. Which is okay with me, because I felt pretty much the same. My problems were little compared to the homeless, the hungry, the battered, the hopeless. Mine was really small and insignificant.