Submitted into Contest #97 in response to: Start your story with an unexpected knock on a window.... view prompt


Suspense Thriller Horror


 Jordan heard a knock at his window in the middle of the night. Dozed off on this couch, Jordan woke up wondering who arrived at his place in this rainy night as the thunders are splashing down on earth. The other point made him wonder is that why they hadn’t knocked the door but tried the window. With lot of questions bugging his mind, reached the door knob, as he turned it out the door opened with a wrecking sound he can see a person covering his head with a plastic sheet supposed to be a rain protector but he almost drenched in this heavy rain, that middle age guy spoke softly with a shaky voice

Sir “Are you Dr.Warren Jordan?

Jordan: “Yes. I am the doctor, what made you come here struggling at this night?

Sir My wife is not breathing well, I fear something terribly wrong with her”

Jordan startled, “where are you coming from, what is your name? and why you knocked at my window than my door?”

Doctor I am coming from village nearby and my name is Walten. When I approached here there was no power, I missed your door in the dark. Got to see a small light through your house when I followed it I saw it was coming through a window so had a try.

Jordan mentioned “What happened to your village doctor, you would have approached him for emergency. Before Jordan completed his sentence Walten rushed to stop Jordan saying that the doctor in their village had left to attend a free medical camp far away.

Jordan started to pack his medical kit and asked Walten “How did you reach here, nearby village takes 15kms drive”

Yes sir, I took a help of a biker to reach here, I am really worried about my wife.

Jordan grabbed his medical kit, pulled his scooter, and said to Walten just hold this medical kit and hang on the seat safely, we can reach by 30.Dont worry.

Walten hugged the medical kit to his chest, sat on the scooter, tightly holding the handle of the scooter with one hand, as another hand is busy with the kit. Jordan flew his scooter fast to reach the place.

Jordan was observing the silence around him. The rain stopped and the cold misty air flowing softly. The stranger sitting behind him not even uttered a word from the time journey has started

Jordan broke the silence “Is this the first time your wife encountered this kind of a. problem”

My wife had encountered this a times, she was under treatment but not now as it’s been long time since doctor went for a camp.

Jordan got the answers he was looking for but still the bug in his mind made him to cross over different thoughts. By having a weird feeling about the man sitting behind him he pulled of his scooter quicker to reach the destination.

The journey on the highway passed in silence. Jordan thought the guy behind lost in thoughts of his wife that’s why he is not talking to him. Before he could think about other things he heard Walten’s scream “Doctor Stop we have reached the place”

Jordan stopped his scooter with a jerk and saw around there was not even a single house or any evidence of a people living here.He asked “There is no home seen nearby why you told me to pull over”

Walten said “ Doctor I live a mile from here, you cannot pass it with a vehicle as you will encounter fields as it has a thin way of marshy earth, so leave your vehicle here, we can reach my home by walk”

Jordan made his engine die locked his vehicle and started to walk behind Walten

First they approached a barren agricultural land, they kept walking under a full moon and the soft air striking their face. Jordan consoled himself that there will be a phase like this crossing marshy and bumpy ways to reach a destination in villages. Suddenly a thought strike his mind.

“Walten you mentioned that you come from the village nearby my clinic, but we came crossing it, where exactly you live, here I see there is no trace of a lively hood”

Walten didn’t respond, he kept walking

Jordan asked again, Where is your house here? Why this place is little creepy”

No answer from Walten

Now a chill ran through the nerves of Jordan. He understood something is wrong and he has to move from there but the responsibility of a doctor advised him to do his duty. He cannot able to move forward his legs felt numb and stopped.

Walten turned back and saw Jordan freezed.He asked quietly “Doctor Hurry up my wife is in pain”

Jordan replied “I am coming, I asked you before about crossing a village you have mentioned?

Walten spoke tensely “Sorry sir I live little far from the village in the fields, I scared to mention it, because you will not accompany me reaching here.

Jordan calmed himself and kept walking behind Walten

They reached the sugarcane fields after half a mile. The flowering plants accompanied the sugarcanes, the petals were dancing in the flow of misty air. The flowers got the shape of roses but there is no way the smell matches to it nor the color.

When Jordan started walking inside the fields to his horror the stems of the flowering plants are really thick and tall near to sugarcane and the flowers are small with a mix of black and purple. Jordan never came across these kinds of plants in his entire life.

They kept walking, suddenly Jordan felt a smell of burning something, it became harder once they reached the middle of the fields. Jordan felt suffocated by the smell, he asked

“What is this hard burning smell? I cannot able to breath”. Walten exclaimed “it is the smell of the flowers around, don’t worry it will not harm you lets walk”.

Jordan felt weird, flowers with a burning smell, he then bent the stem of one of the plant and took the smell of it, and yes what Walten mentioned was correct, this is the smell of the flower. How he is living here with this odd smell around, he wanted to ask it but felt it’s not appropriate to ask every single thought.

Jordan asked “How much to walk more, I cannot able to manage this smell, Walten replied “we reached it sir, please see there”. His finger pointed towards aloof house standing against the wind, the rain dropped itself but the water on the house slowly draining down from the loft and falling down as a due drops.

They reached the house and Walten opened his door and we made ourselves inside, there was no power, it was completely dark.Suddenly a lantern came out from the dark, gave a jerk down the spine. Walten spoke “Thank you for coming this far to help my wife, Please come she is here”. He showed a person winded herself and sticking on to the bed with closed eyes. Jordan approached her, took her hand and checked the pulse. It is running normal, he gave some injections. After the treatment he informed Walten

“I had given a dose of medicines which will help to recover and you have to definitely take her to the hospital and should take some tests, I have written the medicines and the tests in this slip take this.

Walten mentioned with a drops of water started oozing out from his eyes “Thank you so much doctor, Please sit I will bring something to drink, Jordan said “No need it’s really late I have to reach the clinic before sunrise will start now. Walten pleading “Please sir, it’s my humble request as you saved my wife, treating you is on me.

Jordan said ok as he felt tired walking all over, he should also feel refreshed. Walten went inside to prepare. Jordan got up from his chair thinking how he is making something without light, he came across the wall and tried to look at the photos in the dim light of lantern hanging there.

Jordan saw Walten and his wife pics separately and also the pic together, There were some details mentioned down the photo of Walten photo. When he was about to read.

“Sir please take this coffee” Walten gave him a coffee. Jordan took it and had a sip, he felt a weird taste, and by sipping the coffee now he tried to read the details. The details mentioned shocked him and it made him shiver. The details mentioned on it was Margate 1935-1975.Walten wife died years ago, then who is she sleeping at the bed her face resembles Margate. He cannot able to take a breathe, he felt stand still around and he looked at his coffee it had a petal of the flower.

When he raised his head, he felt the breathe near to his face suddenly a face peeped out from the dark, its Margate smiling weirdly at him, he took steps backward one after the other and saw Margate coming on him.

Jordan turned to run, than he saw Walten with a horrific smile standing near the door with the knife in his hand.

Walten smiled and said “I don’t know doctor you will end up this smart, you understood something fishy about the place from the time we reached here, but the doctors whom we slaughtered and ate till now were so dumb to know what was happening to them”.

Jordan was not even able to breathe, he could not believe what is happening, he left his medical kit, ran out holding his breath. He ran towards the field, still he can hear the laugh and the breath of them, suddenly he leg got struck in the marshy mud ad he fell. He felt terrified and when he saw, the dark clouds facing him two heads blocked the sky. It is them he felt, Walten raised his knife holding hand. Jordan closed his eyes tightly and he didn’t feel anything after that. He became numb.

When he opened his eyes he saw himself at the clinic, surrounded by his assistant and patients with a confused face.

Assistant “Sir please get up, R u okay now?

Jordan felt a sign of relief but confused how he reached here.

He asked “How I came here? What happened?

Assistant “Doctor I scare you didn’t go anywhere, when I came here early in the morning you were lying down unconscious, I am trying to wake you up from long time”

Jordan shocked to hear that and cant able to understand what going on. He is got up and called his Assistant to accompany him to the changing room.

Jordan explained everything to him

Assistant started laughing “Sir you are imagining things too much, Doctor of the nearby village is very much present and nobody came yesterday night as I have got the information about it from the security and there is no fields or flowers as you have mentioned near the village.as I belong there. So you calm yourself, take a shower and look after the patients.

Mentioning that Assistant left the room. Jordan slowly removed his shirt and throwed it on the couch and went to take a shower after he returned and made himself dressed. He reached the shirt on the couch suddenly his eyes barged out and the chill at his spine and he cannot able to utter a word,


June 12, 2021 03:51

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Shivani V
15:52 Jun 16, 2021

Nice suspense, Truly deep and thought-provoking story, I was totally involved in the story within few minutes.


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15:11 Jun 16, 2021

Ryrthm n word play on point


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Sirisha P
14:56 Jun 16, 2021

It was interesting!!! I am unable to imagine how this story will go by if there's a continuation. Please write a part 2 too 😉😘


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Srinivas Vedula
14:08 Jun 16, 2021

The suspense was maintained but the end was anticipated. Good one


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Piu Paps
13:48 Jun 16, 2021

Wallah!! Amazing..Not heard of this type of story before...Interesting👏.Waiting for More gr8 stories from u .Miss Devi.👍


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Anil Kumar
13:28 Jun 16, 2021

Wow i liked the story it was amazing and it was like riding roller coaster


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