final thoughts

-sure you wanna do this mate? Let me please remind you that between us you're not the best in taking life changing decisions

-of course I'm ready. I mean, what can go wrong right?

-literally, famous last words

-haha I know, I know but she is not like that anymore

-well hopefully not, I mean I don't even know what you see in her. ever since we met her she is nothing but a sadistic, toxic, shellfish person that never loved anyone else but her self. Honestly your taste is as lousy as the shirt you're wearing right now

-firstly, your fashion feedback is highly appreciated and secondly it wasn't taste that made me wanna be with her, was it?

-what was it then, by all means explain

-I wish I knew bro, but that's how you know, that's how you know it's real. When you don't know

-I think there is a medical term for what you're describing called 'Stockholm syndrome'

-haha, always have the jokes for her. I really think you took it worse than I did though

-possibly, you know why

-why

-cause I care for you much more than you do for yourself. Cause I see the value in you that you don't see. I know you felt something, I can understand that. But who tells us it was love. What if the feeling of 'missing her' that you so much describe to me all the time as an excuse of why you made up again, is actually missing the 'feeling' of feeling something, anything to be honest, cause in your case the feeling was pain, agony, frustration. What if you can't put up with not having any feelings for a while and that's why you can't move on.

-hold or silver cufflinks?

-what does she like more?

-gold

-then silver

-look, I see your point, but it was not all that. Everyone says these things about her, everyone thinks she is a terrible person, including me sometimes. But I kind of feel bad for that. I don't want her to be alone, I don't want her to feel like this. I know that without me she will be left alone, no friends, no one to help her if she needs something

-not your problem mate

-I know, but then again nothing is our problem. We choose our problems don't we?

-what a stupid thing to say, you're like a romantic poet's poo

-classy insult, thanks.

-you know that if she could replace you with someone more handsome, more successful, someone fitting her idea of a partner in a beneficial for her way she would do it in a heartbeat, right?

-she is not like that anymore mate

-ok. at least lets please agree that there is a reason why everyone thinks you can do better, there is a reason why everyone dislikes her. Take it from Bieber, 'your mama don't like her and she likes everyone'

-shouldn't it be 'doesn't'

-please focus on my point?

-I don't care for Bieber mate

-oh yes I forgot. You're more of a Johnny Cash kind of guy? 'I hurt my self today to see if I still feel', that's you 5 years from now if you go out there you know. You're gonna be alone, sad and keep hurting yourself and everyone around you as this will be the only feeling you'll be capable of identifying

-wanna know what will be me in 5 years from now if I don't go out there? I will be alone, I will have given up on my self, on my career, with a huge history of failed dates, subscription to 5 dating apps, double my current size and probably a cat owner.

-GREAT, I love cats

-ugh stop it mate

-honestly, I would much prefer you like that as long as it was you. I know you all your life, for a guy who always had faith, always though that things will always go for the better, how can you have such low self esteem. how cant you believe there's a better future for you out there For god's shake you believed in Santa for 9 years of your life, can you please believe in yourself for ten bloody seconds and walk away?

-mate, its gonna be ok

-Its not gonna be ok, all you're gonna achieve is punish yourself once again by undergoing this toxic situation. And talking about your 5 year projection add a divorce to it

-so what? what's wrong with that? What's wrong with a divorce. Many people have them why not me? Am I better than the next guy? Am I more special than anyone else? guess what shit happens. shit happens to the good people, to the bad people and anyone in between. I mean I'm 35 now. It's not like people look at me and think 'oh what a great example of a good boyfriend you must be by being single at that age'. No. That's how I feel now, that's what I want to do know. I owe it to her, I owe it to us

-you don't owe anything to anyone

-But yes I do. It was difficult yes, and she did me wrong and I did her wrong and she did me wrong again and then me and her and me and her and me and it was going on and on and on. I am bloody tired mate. I can't do this anymore. We've been through enough. Can't we have one happy moment once in our lives. Can't we just have this day for us? I don't care if it ends up bad, that's what she wants and I want to give it to her, that's what I want, to give her this day. Simple as that

-simple as that. Listen, I'm here for you, I just worry, a lot. I don't want to see you like that again. You don't know how it felt for me having to deal with a crying adult man with depression. When you're happy man you're bright like the sun but when you're depressed... boy its bad. I don't want to see you like that

-who's shellfish now

-thank god you're handsome

-I know what I put you through and you don't know how much it means to me that you're here. I would never got up again without you, you were there in everything, from planting little plants to trying jiu-jitsu in that smelly dojo. And if it goes wrong, and chances are it will be, I hope you're still there for me

-of course I will be man, you know it's physically impossible for me to be somewhere else. I'll be honest though sometimes I wish I could

-as if. where will you find better

-Ryan Gosling's

-pff. Anyway how do I look?

-you look shit like always.

-thank god you're funny. Lets go