It was looking inside,

Peering into the light,

Standing by the pier,

Seemed like water,

Shimmering like waves,

Of mist moving,

Slow and steady.

It thought,

When would this stop !!

Seemed like it never would,

It felt as though covered,

In a dome,

That was hard,

That could never break !!!

The conversation never ceased. It was making rounds after rounds as the physician would. The physician kept returning to check on it. This hazy character with whom it had a strange relationship. It felt embarrassment most of the time but few times even shame and awkwardness. Was it a dream? They were never able to make up their mind collectively.

Chait kept returning to the above scene in the dream. She was the youngest of three but she embodied the trio. Her older siblings were Avachet and Achet and they were twins. Chait was the youngest but it always seemed that she was the older one.  This was because of her arrogant, almost “ ’I’ know all” nature. When she fell flat on her face, she would turn to the twins. But soon after return to her old ways.

Avachet and Achet were furious with Chait. The reason was they lived in the shadows of Chait. Chait represented them in all meetings with Manas and committed to absurd suggestions and thoughts from it which they were then forced to accept and live through oddities and contradictions.

Who was “It”? “It” was referred to as Manas whispered in earthly parlance as Manas. No one could see Manas but its presence was all-pervasive. There was awe mixed with fear but mostly the latter amongst the general public. It was a hazy, blurry presence something that had neither shape nor form and did not reveal itself. But all were in its grip. There was constant turmoil or conflicts for people who had it. This was more like a cloak that people wore after a certain age, a heavy garment with many pockets of all sizes.

On the other end of this spectrum were the people who had let go of Manas. They went by the name of “Aureons”. The name came from the fact that they had a certain aura around them.  Their faces were serene, tranquil and shone with inherent brilliance, the Universe personified. But Manas did exist among them as well. It was just that the shiny people as Chait always referred to them ignored it’s presence. Manas was put in place never allowed to interfere in anything.

! On the one hand \ if the twins were annoyed with Chait, she had her own list of complaints against them. Avachet was super-intelligent but chose to keep silent at all time just doing what he was told by Chait. She had told Avachet and Achet multiple times to connect with the Aureons” but this fell on deaf ears. Even this Chait was able to tolerate to a certain extent but when Avachet constantly nagged her, that did it.

Those moments Chait would try and pretend that she indeed was trying to hold up and carry herself quietly, immune to the chaos from the past. But Manas got wind of this pretence always and Manas would throw a spanner in the pretentious calm. For Chait it would come crashing down. After which the chaos from the past and confusions of the present would take over leaving Chait deluded and the twins following all orders to the “T” with no insights on their own.

There were two groups in the highest order, one the Aureons and another the “Sentiens” who had a direct connection to the ultimate “Atita”.  

The public saw them as the elite of the elite. They carried themselves with such dignity and were highly evolved. Poise and grace personified. They moved about like the gazelle.

Now, on the other hand only Chait knew how hard she was trying to connect with Atita. And that was the key reason for her annoyance with her older siblings. They were not making any attempt to get a meeting with the Sentiens, leave alone the Aureons. Avachet was constantly complaining and Achet was complacent and wallowing in mundane habits feeding on everything Chait said or provided.

But things were not meant to be this way for Chait. She would shortly see that she could not carry on walking around as a lost one waiting for things to happen to her. Every morning Chait walked into the avenue that had a row of quaint houses on either side and where the Aureons and the Sentiens lived. This was because they were always having discussions in silence. Well how may one think – was there ever something like !!DISCUSSIONS IN SILENCE!!!”. No person was audience to this strange and interesting phenomena.

So as it happened, one fine morning as Chait was walking on the avenue that had the Sentiens houses on both sides. As she turned the corner of the road leading to the avenue – she caught one of the Aureons walking into the biggest house of the Sentiens.

Chait could not contain her curiosity. This house was surrounded by a wall of ferns and if one noticed keenly there were small thorns within those bushy growth of creepers. That was not to prevent anyone from peering or coming inside. It just grew there to test any new entrant who were in the journey to Sentienism.

Something in Chait that day was raring to go. That day she felt nothing would stop her not even those small thorns. Manas was very active and was bullying her to stop – scaring her with all of those past experiences. It was making her imagine all kinds of calamities that had happened.

Manas brought up all of the fear, confusions and anxieties that Chait went through while she was growing up. And that morning, Manas was more forceful than anytime before. Chait felt she was in a dark pit with just no air, she found that she had stopped breathing. She suddenly felt the surrounding turn into a white nothing.

Chait momentarily felt faint and sinking into that white space where she could not even feel any sense of breath.

Then from somewhere, she heard a familiar voice – the nagging tone. There was no mistake – her dear Avachet had come to her assistance. Avachet and Achet in sheer spontaneity awakened to revive the disappearing Chait. There was a new Avachet now. It had invoked the art of breathing, convinced Achet into action. A huge transformation was taking place. Chait could feel transcended. She began to breathe, opened her eyes and found herself in the pristine surroundings of the Sentiens.

Chait was in the beginning of awareness. She was now in with Aureons – maybe another moment where she would completely let go of the past. She was now out of the clutches of Manas. And she became one with Avachet and Achet.

There was absolute bliss and Chait dissolved -------  She had navigated the coast of Manas. Had she arrived at the gates of the Sentiens? She still had to let go completely.

February 17, 2023 18:59

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