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Drama

Blam!

The bullet hit Alex straight in the back as he was running towards the canal. It was dark, and raining as the enemy soldiers were closing in on him. The canal was wet and muddy. Alex managed to crawl up to one side taking a defensive position. He checked his pistol and realized that he had no more bullets. He was all alone after being separated from his squad. 

He looked up and saw the barrels of their machine guns creeping ever so slowly across the top of the canal. There was no time to think. He reached down and grabbed his last grenade and pulled the pin. He tossed it straight up towards the enemy soldiers. They saw the grenade rise in front of them with eyes wide open. They had no time to react. They were blown to bits and pieces. The blast was so fierce that it slammed Alex down to the ground knocking him out. 

Alex slowly opened his eyes and noticed a white ceiling with bright lights. He managed to get out a few words to no one in particular, “Where am I?” His mind was racing with confusion. The next thing he saw was a nurse taking notes on a clipboard. She looked at him with a warm smile and said, “You’re in the hospital and you're lucky to be alive. If you’ll excuse me I’ll go get the doctor.” 

A few minutes later, the doctor came into his room reading over the clipboard. He spoke in a very calm and collected voice. “Hello Alex, I’m Doctor Roberts. How are you feeling?” Alex gave him a bewildered look and said, “How did I get here? The last thing that I can remember is almost being killed.”

“You were found in that canal by one of your squad mates. It’s a good thing Adam found you when he did because I doubt you would have survived much longer out there all alone.”  Alex replied, “I guess I should thank him then. Where is he?” The doctor put the clipboard back in the tray at the foot of the bed. “You’ll get your chance to thank him soon.” Doctor Roberts walked over and sat down in the chair next to his bed. “I need to tell you that you’ve been in a coma for the past few days. I believe that you will make a full recovery with time, but I must say it was touch and go there for a while.” 

Alex listened as he continued speaking. “As per hospital policy, it’s protocol that we contact your next of kin-.” Alex quickly interrupted, “I don’t have anyone. My mother died in a car accident a few years ago, and my dad left when I was a little kid. There is no one else.” Doctor Roberts reached over and patted Alex’s hand. “Well...We were able to reach your father, and he came to see you.”

“I don’t want to see him!” Alex said.

“I understand the apprehension, but I think it’s vital for the healing process to speak with family,” said Doctor Roberts. 

“What good can come from seeing a lowlife dad who never wanted anything to do with me? How is that going to help my body heal?”

“I’m not talking about your body Alex, but your mind. You’ve been through a very traumatic event, and I think seeing your father will help your mind heal.”

Doctor Roberts stood up from the chair and clapped his hands together. “So what do you say Alex? Will you give it a shot?” Alex looked down at the bed as if in deep thought and finally said, “I’ll give it a try, but I still don’t see how this will help me.” Doctor Roberts smiled and said, “Great, I will go and let him know that you have agreed to see him. I’ll send him in directly.” Alex let loose a sigh and said, “Great, I can’t wait.”  

A few minutes later Alex heard a knock on the door, and watched as his father Tony, stepped into the room. He was tall and bald, and he was wearing a nice dark brown trench coat with nice black shoes. He walked very slowly to the end of Alex’s bed, looking into his eyes the whole time. Alex was overcome with emotion. He didn’t know how he should feel at this very moment. Happy, sad, angry, elated, none of these seemed to fit the occasion.  

“Hello son…”

“Dad…Wow, I don’t know what to say right now. How many rocks did they have to turn over to find you?”

“Surprisingly, not that many as it turns out.” With a deep sigh he continued, “So... how are you feeling? Your army buddies are all out there in the waiting room. They tell me you just saved the world.”

“Yeah well, so what if I did? What do you care,” Alex said.

“Well...I don’t just so you know. You’ve always been a loser to me. Why do you think I left you and your mother all those years ago? I heard about her death by the way. I can’t tell you what a relief it is to know that she is dead.”

“How dare you speak that way about my mother!!!”

Alex started to clench his fists together. His forehead started to wrinkle with great anger. He had to force out a great deal of frustration as he felt the anger within him start to come to a boil. He yelled out, “Why did you come here? You don’t care about me. You never cared about me!!”

He watched as his father started to smile and then he spoke in a whisper. “You’re right, I don’t care about you. When they called me, they said it was a very real possibility that you could die. I told them: Sure I would love to reconnect with my son. I’m a changed man and I owe it to him before he passes away. I figured that since we don’t have any other family members around anymore, there might be something in it for me…” Alex started to laugh, “So you honestly thought that if I died, that you might get all of my money?”

“Why not? You owe me boy. I didn’t ask for you to be born.” 

“Well guess what DAD, I didn’t ask to be born, but here I am. Deal with it!”

“I don’t have to deal with it! It is what it is, as they say.” 

Tony looked at Alex with a bitter disgust. “So, let me guess. After your mom died, you ran off to join the military, am I right?” Alex looked deep into Tony’s eyes and said, “You’re damn right I did!” 

“And now you're the big hero!?” Tony yelled.

“You’re damn right I am!” 

“There is NO WAY a loser like you is a hero!” Tony realized that he was in a hospital and lowered his voice. 

“What did you do anyway?”

“I can’t tell you that, it's classified,” Alex said.

“Yeah? I knew you were going to say that. You’re full of shit boy!”

Alex had enough of this argument. He thought for a moment, and decided to tell him what he did. After all, who was he going to tell anyway? He didn’t see the harm, so he took a deep breath and explained:

My team the Alpha Dogs, were on a secret mission to obtain nuclear strike codes from “The Black Skulls”, a new terrorist organization. Their plan was to launch their nuclear weapons on selected targets around the globe. I was the infiltrator who snuck into their military base and unfortunately, they knew we were coming. My mission was to steal those codes. I was successful, but we had to shoot our way out of the base. Somewhere along the line, I lost track of my team and we were separated. The next thing I knew I was shot in the back, and made my final stand. 

Tony looked at Alex like he was crazy. “That’s the biggest load of crap I have ever heard...boy! There is no way that happened.”

“It’s the truth,” Alex said. 

“Yeah well, I don’t believe you, where’s your proof. You said that you stole the strike codes?” asked Tony. 

Alex replied, “Yes I did.”

With a bewildered look Tony said, “Well…”, raising his hands in the air, “Where are those codes?”

“Those codes were on a flash drive. So I swallowed it,” Alex said laughing. 

Tony let his arms fall to his side. He shook his head and said, “Still no proof. You know I almost believed you there for a second. Almost. With all this crap you've been spewing my way, I suddenly feel the need to relieve myself.”  He pointed over to the one and only bathroom in the room and said, “Excuse me, will ya?”

After a few minutes, Tony emerged from the bathroom. He walked over to the chair next to Alex’s bed and decided to take a seat. As he sat down, part of Tony’s trench coat came open, and Alex saw that he was wearing the uniform of “The Black Skulls.”

Tony pulled his coat together as fast as he could, but he knew that Alex had seen what was hidden underneath. He looked up at Alex and said, “Boy, I wish you hadn’t seen that.” Tony quickly pulled out a gun and pointed it at Alex. Alex yelled out, “You traitor!!” There was no time to think.

Blam! Blam!

Two gunshots had gone off. As quick as firemen running towards a fire, the room was suddenly full of security personnel, and “The Alpha Dogs”. When they entered the room, they saw Alex and Tony desperately wrestling on the floor to gain control of the gun. They grabbed both of them and pulled them apart. Alex’s hospital gown was covered in blood, but it was not his blood. 

At that last moment, Alex grabbed the gun and turned it against his father. Tony was bleeding profusely as the doctors rushed in the room. It was too late though. Tony died right there in front of Alex. 

****

A few days later, Adam from “The Alpha Dogs” came back to see Alex, who was still in the hospital. He had a stack of papers with him, and sat down next to Alex.

“How are you doing, Alex?” he said.

“I’m fine...What did you find out?”

Adam flipped through the papers and said:

“After some digging, we found out that shortly after Tony left you and your mom, he joined “The Black Skulls”. I don’t know how he managed to slip past our radar for so long, but he did. When you stole those nuclear strike codes, they couldn’t launch their missiles. Tony was sent here to get those codes back. The only way he could do that was to antagonize you. He had to make you so mad, that you would tell him what he needed to know. When he went to the bathroom he made a phone call. We found out that he called his comrades, and he was given strict orders to stay with you until he got his hands on that flash drive. He was going to kill you to get the codes.” 

“Yeah I figured as much,” Alex said with a deep sigh.

“Speaking of which, did you manage to pass that drive out yet?”

“No, not yet. They won’t let me out of here until I do”

Adam got up to leave and said, “Well when you get out of here, me and the boys wanna take you out for a beer.” Alex smiled and replied, “You know I never had the chance to thank you for saving my life.” Adam looked back at Alex as he was opening the door and said, “There is no need to thank me. We are all brothers and sisters. We are family. We are your family. Now you get some rest, I hear the President wants to give you a medal.” With that said, Adam left and Alex was left smiling with a single tear rolling down his cheek. 

The End

Daniel R. Hayes

January 31, 2021 02:57

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27 comments

11:22 Feb 03, 2021

I've been watching war movies for days. This felt as vivid as one of those. The first sentence is beautiful and has both emotions and suspense wrapped into it. You don't put too much and you don't take out too much. Which makes this interesting. What I think you should work on is the show not tell rule. Like letting the readers feel the pain, the hesitation, the fear. I can tell you put in much work into this. Brilliant.

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Daniel R. Hayes
16:10 Feb 03, 2021

Thank you so much for the great feedback. It took me some time to put this story together, and I'm happy that you liked it. I look forward to reading more of your stories as well ;)

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Carrie O'keefe
17:32 Feb 01, 2021

I was very intrigued reading this story. It was well written and full of details. Good job!!

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Daniel R. Hayes
18:29 Feb 01, 2021

Thank you for reading my story, and your kind words. I will check out your stories as well. Thanks again.

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Nancy Drayce
10:49 Feb 01, 2021

This is, definitely, my favourite story of yours out of the ones I've read so far!! It is amazing, I love itttt! The plot, the idea, the writing, the emotion.... everything is amazing! I truly enjoyed from the first sentence to the very end. I could imagine the situation, the characters, the scene.... Ah amazing, Daniel. Great job!! 💜🌟

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Daniel R. Hayes
16:41 Feb 01, 2021

Thank you so much Nancy, you just made my day. I worked really hard on this one, and I'm happy you liked it. I hammered this one out of the idea of how I could make the idea of a father and son come together, make it unique, and put a good twist on it. I look forward to more of your wonderful stories as well. Thanks again for making my day :) Have a good day.

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Nancy Drayce
19:56 Feb 01, 2021

Your intention with this story definitely succeeded! I wasn't expecting the ending, I truly believed that his father truly wanted to meet him, and the twist was amazing!

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Daniel R. Hayes
20:02 Feb 01, 2021

Thank you once again. It warms my heart to know that you enjoy my stories as much as I like yours. This is why I write ;) I'm working on another story as we speak, and I think it is going to be epic...well I hope it does anyway :)

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Nancy Drayce
20:05 Feb 01, 2021

Can't wait to read it!! Take your time! 😍😊

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Daniel R. Hayes
20:42 Feb 02, 2021

Hi Nancy, I just wanted to say Hi, and I hope you are having a good day. I wanted to let you know that after 3 re-writes I finally finished my new story. If you get a chance to read it, I hope you like it, and I'm looking forward to more of you work as well. Have a good evening.

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Tj Squared
04:25 Feb 01, 2021

I liked the details mentioned. I like to see myself in people's stories. One thing that I personally didn't care for was the cussing. I like to keep imaginations clean, and maybe less bad words could do. Thanks for 'painting a picture' for me. Great job!

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Daniel R. Hayes
06:44 Feb 01, 2021

Thank you for the feedback. I typically don't write a lot of curse words in my stories. Humbly speaking this story only has 3 or 4 at best. They were used only in dialog context, and represent the characters themselves. A far cry from other stories that I have read. That scene was a very tense and angry one, and I wanted to make it as real as I could to real life. I do however understand your point, and apologize. I try to give my best in every story I write, that's all I can give anyone.

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15:59 Jan 31, 2021

I am so sorry that I didn't comment after I read this, I should have commented right away, sorry! I think this is a really good story, I like how you fitted all those pieces together, you are so skilled and creative, if I was doing that task everything would have fallen apart, pathetically. I liked how the full thing rushed through and how no sign of the end was given away, it was a majestic on-the-edge-of-the-seat piece! And I kinda think that you accidentally choose the wrong prompt, I, the silly I, think that the prompt "Your main char...

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Daniel R. Hayes
16:56 Jan 31, 2021

So glad you liked the story. I was torn on which prompt to put this story in. It was a hard choice because I think it could have easily fit in the one you mentioned or the one I picked. I have some more ideas for another story, so I might be able to get another one done. Thanks for your valuable feedback.

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07:19 Feb 01, 2021

Let me know when your story's out. Actually don't care much about the prompt, when i looked through my comments, i think that i am criticising too much, sorry, your story was a great one and the prompt s doesn't change that fact. #waiting for the next story

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Daniel R. Hayes
07:25 Feb 01, 2021

Hi my friend, no need to say sorry about anything ;) I did have a hard time picking what prompt to put it in. I take all feedback seriously and good or bad I try to learn from it and become a better writer. I used to write all the time, but for a long time I haven't wrote anything. So, I guess you could say I'm getting back in the saddle. I'll tell you what I'm looking forward too is your next story. I think you're a very talented writer and your stories so far are just fantastic. I can't wait for your next one.

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02:31 Feb 02, 2021

I would say the the same about feedbacks, glad that you agree, and I hope that won't mind if I told you that I just put out a new story, flash fiction actually, I am planning to write something longer and more polished this week but hope that you like this one.

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Daniel R. Hayes
06:14 Feb 02, 2021

Fantastic, I will go and check it out and let you know what I think.

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Zelda C. Thorne
07:49 Jan 31, 2021

Oh this was brilliant! On tenterhooks the whole time. Well done. I'd love your thoughts on my stories if you have time. Look forward to reading more from you!

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Daniel R. Hayes
07:54 Jan 31, 2021

Thank you, I'm really glad you liked the story. I will definitely read your stories soon and let you know what I think. Thanks again.

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Tia Jackson
05:04 Jan 31, 2021

This was incredible. It went so well the prompt. I was at the edge of my seat the whole time. Congrats

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Daniel R. Hayes
07:11 Jan 31, 2021

Thank you for reading my story. I'm glad you liked it. I worked really hard on this one. I'll be checking out your stories soon. Thanks again.

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Tia Jackson
10:41 Jan 31, 2021

You’re welcome and the effort you put in shows through. Look forward to reading more of your stories

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