YOUNG AND YOUNGER

-I am doing it wrong! I should stop expanding my interests in domains I can’t afford to explore. Everyone has its own comfort zone, do I think I am special and brave enough to break the barriers of mine? No, the answer is no, I am not. I only need to accept the fact that I cannot be whatever I want to be and that I do not have the entitlement to proceed in everything I want to proceed in. Is it all that complicated for me to understand? After all, It is what it is, just as simple as that! 

-Why are you like this? Why won’t you listen to my request: Go back to being your own unique self! What will it take you to appreciate your values? How long will it take you to understand that you are not ordinary like you think you are and that you are capable of empowering yourself to accomplish your deepest goals?

-It’s easy for you to say! You are in that state of mind that defines you and you will never leave it. Your thoughts, actions, and attitudes have all been harmonized and there is no chance they will ever go to the incongruous state where mine are right now! You have your coordinates already set so there is nothing you have to worry about! You have no right to tell me what I should do, you will never be in my position so you can never understand what I am going through!

-Okay, we’ll do it your way. What are you going through? What is it so bad about yourself that keeps you from reaching your goals?

-No, no, no! I am not opening up to you! You can’t fool me!

-I am not trying to fool you, I am trying to help you. I am not going to let you consider this a “dead-end” from which you cannot escape. 

-Whatever… I have accepted it already-it is what it is.

-Sweetie, you are so young! You may have grown up a few years but trust me, you are YOUNG. You are just beginning to experience life. You have yet to reach that point where you would be able to say “whatever”. Life is not about saying “whatever”. Life is about feelings, opportunities, events, moments, photos, dances, memories, car rides, hikes, jobs, games, and anything else you can imagine. I am not going to let you miss out on these things just because you have fallen under a trap. You are more than this. I know it, and I will make sure you start to believe it as much as I do.

-What makes you think I am this “great”? You are not even as old as me. Why do you consider yourself experienced enough to give me advice on what I am meant to do and on how I should approach life?

-You’re right. I have no idea what it is like to be older. But there is one explanation that might be eligible for your questions. I am looking up to you. For 15 years, 180 months, 5478 days, 131487 hours, and 7,889,238 minutes I have been wishing that you will come to the realization that you have a path in life. A path from which you cannot take a break. A path on which you have to keep going without saying “I am tired, whatever”. A path that is continuously handing you opportunities that you refuse to take just because you are too afraid. What are you afraid of? Failure? Sweetie, failure is part of the process of learning. Success and failure are the ups and downs that contribute to your development and as much as we all like to avoid the “downs”, they will always come our way. Just like you see on that cellphone of yours, “imperfections make you perfect”. 

-Whatever. I don’t care. It’s not like there’s anybody to please with my “flaws” or with whatever else you said. 

-Sweetie, it’s not about the others. It’s about you. You are the only one responsible for your future. You are the only one you need to please. People come and go, you shouldn’t feel obligated to fit in somebody else’s standards. They have their own path, just like you have yours.

-I have already let myself down. There is no reason left for me to keep going. I have to get used to the fact that this is it. My “agenda” has no empty pages left in it. I can’t escape these thoughts and it’s fine.

-So just because you have nobody else there that could be proud of you you are just going to give up?

-Exactly.

-And what about me?

-What about you?

-I have been with you through good and bad, through dark and light. I have been looking out for you ever since the differences between us have started to show up. Make me proud! After all, I am you. Imagine yourself saying all of those mean things to me. How do you think I would feel? Don’t answer, it’s pointless. Maybe you are not the same as somebody else, but you are unique in your own way. I’ve seen you, there is nobody else like you. I know you can do it, I have faith in you and I know I can trust you. You are not done, and it is not what it is.

-How can you be so sure? You are still younger than me, how do you know what the outcome will be?

-Sweetie, how many times do I have to tell you? In life, you can’t be sure of anything but yourself. I can’t be sure about the future. That would be funny! I am only certain of one thing: I will take every chance to ensure that you will start to believe YOU CAN. You can be, you can do, you can feel, you can experience, you can laugh, you can imagine, you can dream. But all of these only while being hunted by me. I will not let go of you. Never.