Unknown Enemies

Written in response to: Set your story in a world where love is prohibited.... view prompt

17 comments

Drama Historical Fiction Suspense

Unknown Enemies

Frederick woke up in an unfamiliar room wondering how he got there. He was in a bunk bed. He had slept in bunk beds most of his eighteen years but he was on the top bed. Usually he slept on the bottom with his younger brother, er, half-brother, Danny, above him. Soon he realized he was surrounded by rows of bunk beds all occupied by rumpled looking lads exactly like him.

Somewhere a memory lingered. A sweet unexpected kiss. If he closed his eyes he could taste it again when he touched his lips. No time for that now. Maybe never again. It all came rushing back to him. A new reality took hold. He'd been transported to a world where love didn't exist.

Three days on a sooty train ride being choked by billowing smoke and constantly jostled back and forth, back and forth, click-clack, click-clack. Then a wagon loaded with raggedy stick men rumble, rumbling over red clay. Dumping newbies out in front of a long, low drab building. Man in drab uniform yelling at them to stand up straight, head up, chest out. Marched through processing line. Strip clothing. Measured, weighed. Hair zipped off. Quick cold shower. Dress in drab duds. Loaded with arms full of drab clothing, boots, equipment. Rushed into long barracks with rows of bunks. Spill goods into lockers. Back out to mess hall. Bump, bum-pity, bump. Choke down whatever that was. Back to barracks. Crash on bunk at long last.

Fresh new day! Line-up in formation. Hup, two, hup, two. To mess hall. Bolt down chow. Back out in blinding sun. Stand at attention. Rules, regulations, more rules. Do this, don't do that. Can't you read the signs? Sir, Yes, Sir! Sir, Yes, Sir! Sir, Yes, Sir! March, two, three, four! March, two, three, four! March, two, three, four! Run. Soldier. Run. Five more laps. Now add twenty-pound back packs and weapons. Through obstacle course. Drop and do one-hundred. Go, man, go! Night time reconnaissance. No complaining! Sir, Yes, Sir! Sir, Yes, Sir! Name. Rank. Number. Name. Rank. Number.

Repeat! Rinse. Repeat!

“You're in the Army now;

You're not behind a plow.

You're diggin' a ditch

You'll never get rich.

You're in the Army now.”

Repeat! Rinse. Repeat!

How many days? Frederick O'Reilly lost count. Fred lost Frederick O'Reilly. Name. Rank. Number. Don't make friends. Friends die and break heart. Have no heart. Become killing machine. Sir, Yes, Sir! Sir, Yes, Sir!

A leave. What does a leave mean? Ah, a day of rest. Others take wagon into town or play cards. Fred has never played cards. They've had a pay day. He has money in his own pocket maybe for the first time in his life. At home all his money went to his step-father, the Irishman Patrick, to pay bills for the large family. He wants to write a letter to his mother, Leona, and send her some money. The commissary would have paper, envelopes and stamps. There he also finds a small library with tables where he can write his letter.

November 3,1917

Dear Mother,

I pray this letter finds you and the family well. I miss everyone more than I can tell you. Sorry it has taken so long for me to write. The sergeants keep us very busy learning how to be good soldiers. We are very worn out when we finally get into our bunks after mess hall in the evening. But that is similar to home. Today is the first day off we have had. Besides, I was paid for the first time and needed to wait until I could buy writing necessities. I have enclosed a little money, paper and some stamped and addressed envelopes so you can write back and not use the household money.

The weather here in South Carolina is very different than in South Dakota. It is still quite warm here whereas I suppose you may already have snow. The moisture in the air feels heavier here also so sweat never seems to leave a body. The boys may not like it and Maggie's hair may not hold those beautiful curls you so lovingly style each morning. I don't have much hair at this point. They cut it all off so we don't have to worry about it but now I look like Maggie's doll, Angel, did when Hughy and Ralphy pulled her hair off her head. Ha, ha! Remember?

As soldiers we spend a great deal of time working with our hand held weapons and even cannons and other ammunition. Pa and the boys would enjoy that experience. There's never been enough wooded land to hunt in up there. Meat comes from domesticated stock. Here there are abundant woods. I'm almost leery of venturing into them alone. Sometimes we must practice nighttime maneuvers. I imagine Europe where we'll be headed must have lots of woods, too.

They feed us plenty so I am well but I do miss your wonderful cooking, Ma. Say 'Hello' to Miss Adeline for me if you get a chance. That was so nice of her to give us a ride to the train. I know I'll never forget it. Hope you had a nice time in town after I left. Bet Maggie won't forget that day either being her first time in a big city.

Everyone stay safe and happy until I can come home. I love you all.

Private Frederick O'Reilly Us Army # XXXXXXX.

After adding his letter to the outgoing mail in the commissary he poked around in the books a while to see if they had anything interesting. Having been home schooled by his mother through eighth grade he never had any higher education opportunity. He found a book with lots of maps in it and being curious of exactly where he would be fighting them bad Germans and other Central Power countries he flipped through.

His eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw a picture of a beautiful aristocratic woman in royal gown who very much resembled his own mother, Leona. It was a duplicate picture of the fourteen-inch by fourteen-inch portrait hanging above the seldom used spinet piano in the for-company-only parlor at home. The woman his mother once told him was her grandmother. Leona had dragged the portrait and piano all over Europe, across an ocean, through numerous cities and the mighty high plains of the US. It was her link to a royal bloodline. It was his link to a royal bloodline. Exactly who was she? Would his own people now be his enemies?

February 22, 2025 03:13

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17 comments

Kate Winchester
22:28 Feb 26, 2025

With the flow of your writing it really gives the reader a sense of why Frederick is so tired at the end of the day! The letter to the mother was a nice touch and I like how the mystery is unraveling.

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Mary Bendickson
05:11 Feb 27, 2025

Thank you. Getting another episode out soon.

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Kim Olson
12:11 Feb 26, 2025

You definitely have us all hooked. It's a pleasure reading your work and I can't wait to see what happens next!

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Mary Bendickson
14:10 Feb 26, 2025

Thanks. Should have more in soon.

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Darvico Ulmeli
16:22 Feb 25, 2025

I simply loved the flow of the story. Instantly pull me in. Nicely done.

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Mary Bendickson
03:06 Feb 26, 2025

Thanks Working on more for it.

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Helen A Howard
10:39 Feb 24, 2025

Wow! Wonderful story. Where will it all lead? Really good.

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Mary Bendickson
13:57 Feb 24, 2025

Thank you. Letting prompts dictate. Didn't start out as series but guess I'll continue since readers think it should 😄

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Helen A Howard
14:05 Feb 24, 2025

Definitely.

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Denise Walker
23:34 Feb 22, 2025

Your story was a pleasure to read and beautifully written.

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Mary Bendickson
23:45 Feb 22, 2025

Thanks for liking. and the follow.

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Alexis Araneta
16:51 Feb 22, 2025

Oooh, now, Fred has met his royal ancestor. It's intriguing. Lovely job!

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Mary Bendickson
18:20 Feb 22, 2025

Thanks.

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Rebecca Lewis
13:56 Feb 22, 2025

This is a solid start, and I like the atmosphere you’ve built. You nailed the gritty, repetitive nature of military training, and the letter to his mother gives Frederick some emotional weight. The whole royal ancestry reveal at the end is a cool twist, too. The training sequences feel intense and immersive. The repetition of commands (Sir, Yes, Sir! March, two, three, four!) puts me in that grueling boot camp mindset. It’s exhausting in a good way — makes the reader feel how relentless it is. The letter is a great emotional anchor. It human...

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Mary Bendickson
16:26 Feb 22, 2025

Just following the prompts. Thanks.

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Rebecca Detti
08:53 Feb 22, 2025

Well I wasn’t expecting that! Look forward to the next instalment!

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Mary Bendickson
15:50 Feb 22, 2025

Not sure where this one came from but since it is flowing thought I would follow. Not totally planned out, simply applying prompts.

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