Just Imagining

Dear diary, 

All I can think about is one person. One guy. Kam. I literally barely know him. We’ve snapped back and forth for like 2 days and I’m already falling for him. He’s constantly on my mind. Every notification I get, I hope that it's him. I daydream about talking to him at school, in front of everyone. I see him right before I fall asleep… or usually, I do. I can’t fall asleep tonight because I can’t stop thinking about him. Kam is literally so sweet. He tries to start conversations, but he is really awkward about them, and never knows what to say. He also is worried because his family will make fun of him if they found out that he was snapping a new girl. He says his older brother thinks he needs a girlfriend, so I understand where he is coming from.

My brain is running wild! Does he like me back? Am I sure that I like him? What would I say when I saw him in person next time? What would I do? All of these questions have a seemingly simple solution. Talk to him. Ask him questions, and see how everything goes. But…. it’s not that simple! Not in real life. He’s a grade below me. He’s popular, I’m not. He has a lot going for him.

Anyways, that's my mind. I read somewhere that writing helps clear your head. I hope that's true because I could really use that at the moment. Write ya later, I guess?

Dear Diary, 

Kam and I hung out today! It was so awesome! He’s super sweet and so cute, which really isn’t helping me out here. It’s just making me like him more, but then again, maybe he likes me too. We talked a lot. He made me laugh and teased me a lot but I didn’t mind for some reason. We played basketball on the side of the road by my house, even though my net is super old. He definitely won. I told him I would beat him but only to get him hyped up. Anyways, it was fun and he was really funny. Every time that he made a basket, he would flex or do some weird stance. 

While we were playing, he talked to me about his family, and I chatted about mine. My mom saw us playing basketball, but since she doesn't know him, she was a little salty. We agreed it's probably better if we hang out at each other's courts when families aren't home or if we just go on walks to nowhere in particular. Both of our families are a little strict when it comes to new people. My mom won't allow him into our house because she doesn't know his mom. His mom is mostly the same. It's kinda weird. Our families are similar. His older sibling teases him about hanging out with me, and my oldest sis does the same. I guess that's just life of a middle child.

I literally can’t fall asleep right now. He keeps popping up, texting me. Or I close my eyes and I can see it as if he is right there, asking if I know how to play basketball. I was terrible but I told him I would try. I’m gonna try to fall asleep now. I say that but I spend so much time just imagining what it would be like.... nevermind. Goodnight!

Dear Diary,

It’s been a week now. Kam and I are really getting along. He’s kinda becoming my best friend. We talk all the time and hang out whenever we can. Sometimes he sends funny faces or filters. One time he sent me a picture of his back muscles. He said it was an accident but…. I don’t think so. He’s even face-timed me while he was working out. I don’t know why, but i reeaaaaaaalllly liked it. He’s strong. And ripped. And he wasn’t afraid to admit when he got tired, which honestly, I find that attractive too. Everyone should know their limit. Nothing much has happened but I figured I’d give an update. I’m pumped for tomorrow though. He and I are both staying home and our families are going out for the day so we are gonna hang out. I’ll keep ya posted!

Dear Diary,

OH. MY. GOSH.

Today was a-MAZ-ing. We played every basketball-related game that we could think of, and I failed at every single one, but we laughed. I managed to body check him a couple of times and then he picked me up, over his shoulder, and carried me around, made a basket, and put me back down. I had butterflies the entire time. We played catch with a football, and I was actually decent at catching and throwing it. I think it was because I wasn’t afraid of it hurting me. We played spike ball, which neither of us did well at. Then, I took my shoes off because the pavement felt awesome with the sun heating it up, and he took me to his backyard. It was covered in snow but I trudged along. We climbed all over his little kid swing set playground thing, and then I jumped down like 6 feet into a giant pile of snow. It was really cold and I couldn’t feel my feet but it was totally worth it. 

Then we sat on his steps and just talked. He drank and offered me some Gatorade, but I don’t like that so I declined. We joked and then his mom came home so I ran to leave. Best. Day. Ever!

Now, that it’s late, my mind is racing and I think I may be falling for him. Hard and fast. He’s so perfect for me and he’s so freaking cute. Anyways… thanks for coming to my ted talk.

Dear Diary,

Imagine this is all true okay? All of this has happened and I can’t write anymore because we are all caught up to right now. I’m super excited because this guy is awesome and regardless of whether or not he likes me the way I like him, he’s an amazing friend. He called me special. And he calls me shorty. So I have a nickname and he said I’m not like most other girls, which I think is a good thing. I’ll continue this later, but for now, I’m going to sleep. <3