Irony you b!tch

TRIGGER WARNING- sensitive content including death, school violence/shooting.        

 SUNDAY

“Holly! Get down here right now!” “Hold on mom, I’ll be right there” “ HOLLY-JANE, I’M NOT ASKING I'M TELLING!” My mom isn’t really this harsh. ¼ of the time It's like living with Cinderella's stepfamily on steroids, but all meanness and mockery in one person. And the other ¾ of the time she's a person you can go to about anything-from your first period, boys, and bullies to getting drunk, having sex, and being threatned-Don't ask me how it's possible because I don't even know. What I call home isn't really what you would expect. My house is so chaotic and loud(like a circus). It was my mom, my dog Nugget, and my siblings. I have a lot, trust me. I am one of twelve. Mhm, you heard me right, I have eleven siblings. First, we have the oldest, my sister Alana. She is 29. She’s like the fun older sister but helpful and supportive too. Like a mom figure. Then there’s aiden. He's 27. And in the military. Hes the overprotective brother; like a friend but a brother(all of my brothers are like this). After Aiden, is my brother reed. He's 26. A party animal. Next is Lucas. He's 25. Also the shy hotshot who everyone is in love with. Then Preston. He’s 23. Also a big party animal. Reed and Preston are amazing-don't get me wrong they all are-both the fun party brothers that you could mess around with and make dirty jokes with. My sister Brynn is a lot like Elena from The Vampire Diaries. She is 18. Laid back, but can come on strong to show people their place and how to stay in it. Now other than me, there’s Nick. he's 17. Trey, who is 11. Alysen and Antonio. They're 6 year old twins. Lastly is kinslee. She's 4 and she's the sweetest. Okay, Nick. He is so fucking important to me. The stuff he did for me was incredible and unbelievable. He helped me with my feelings and what I wanted to say to peoples faces. It was always hard growing up because I have adhd, anxiety, ocd, depression, and bipolar disorder. I showed it too. Whenever I got too overwhelmed or excited, I broke down. Nick was always there, and so was my dad. Anyways I have been trying really hard not to think about him(my dad). Because he. Um. We'll talk about that later.. “HOLLY, GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW! If you aren't down here in five minutes I'm gonna…” “what do you need now mom?” “ I would appreciate it if you could be more aware of your timing. That would be nice, but at the moment you need to take the trash out ” This is nothing but my mom simply being her normal care-free self. And by the way, she was kidding. I did need to come downstairs, but I didn't need to take the trash out and I also  wasn't in trouble. Aiden was on the phone, he's probably calling because he can't make it home tomorrow. “Okay fine, but only 2 minutes is what I needed to finish what I was doing. All asked for. Why do you have to be such a bit- hi Aiden'' my mom puts the phone to my face. “YOUR BROTHER’S ON THE PHONE FOR YOU!!! NEXT TIME YOU'LL HAVE TO SEND HIM A LETTER!!!'' she yells as i'm right next to her. “Oh god bless America,'' I say. “What was that? What did you just say about me?” she asked, all snobby and preppy. “ You know , not everything in the world is about you, mom.” I say smiling. “don't talk to me like that brat! You should be grateful you have this home. And-” I jump in and together- “ i pay the bills, buy the food, drive around and  it's not about me?!” we laugh. I'm normally the quiet, shy, laid back person, student, and friend. When I'm with my family, it's different. When they accept anyone it makes it easier too. And they are my best friends; all of my siblings, my abuela, and my mom. We also have a lot of history and trauma as a family. My dad passed away 3 years ago and that also could be the reason Aiden is calling. Today’s the one year mark of us finding out. And it was the worst timing ever. But you'll find out why tomorrow. “Hey kid!” Aiden says “and be careful, mom might just whoop yo ass. Especially because I'm not there to do it myself but when I get home I’ll be able to” he jokes. And I know his face right now. He’s grinning, eyebrows raised, and his shoulders are lifted. “I don't think you’ll make it out of that alive, but if you do, the damage will show. You’ll be begging me for mercy” I say not realizing the first part of that is really scary to think about. I know that’s a possibility but I don't like to even think about that. He’s gonna come home, and he’s gonna come home alive and with open arms. Because if he didn't, I’d lose two important people in my life. My dad, and then him. I couldn't stand for more than one. Any more deaths I might just lose it completely. And that won't be good. I have a lot of people that would get their faces broken. “Oh really? You think?” he says “no. I don't think so. I know so. And there’s nothing you can do about it” I say right back at him. “Ok ok.” he gives in “I WIN! Just like I always do. Eat that!” I exclaimed followed by a laugh. From us both. I hear voices in the background from his side of the call. “ok. I'm there, just gimme one more minute. That’s it I swear, ” he said to someone in the room with him. “Kiddo, I got to bounce. There’s an attack. I love you. Tell everyone for me too.” he says in a tone that frightens me. “ Wait, what? AIDEN!? AIDEN ANSWER ME! I love you too” I say that last part quietly before- Ehhh ehhh ehhh. The phone disconnects and he’s gone. I spend the rest of my day in my room. The phone is ringing a lot today, and I get really anxious and I wait for the noise of a phone dropping or a person starting to cry. But it never happens. I'm really tired, worried, and just all over the place. I think about what’s happening with Aiden and it's all too much. I start to panic and become out of breath. Before I know it I'm in a dream-like senario. Except it's not a dream, nor a nightmare. It's a memory. A flashback if you will. And it's from the day before my dad passed. I get these a lot. Oh ya! We’re a family full of secrets. Well one big secret. Anyways, I'm inside this memory; me sitting on the couch watching tv, and my dad right next to me. We were watching Rick and Morty. I was 11, almost twelve. We were sitting there just watching. Like a regular family. He was said to be in a coma. Which he was. They needed him living in order to find out what happened to him that didn't happen to the cab driver. My mom walks in, and my dad says “ hey babe, how was your day?” she just stands there, in shock. Dad pauses the TV and says to me “ I’ll be right back snowflake, don't watch any without me.” and he walked into the bedroom with my mom. Even little me knew something was wrong. I hear sharp voices, and the quietness of them. They walked back out, and my dad looked like he did when he came back from the army for good. He was petrified, confused, and just broken. “ Hey sweets. Let's continue this tomorrow.” he said. We never did. And when tomorrow came, he said when I get back, and he never got back. In fact I haven't seen any more of that show. It is still showing the same season, episode, minute and seconds left as it was the day my dad went into that bedroom. I wake up. Sweat all over. I lay back down and go to sleep.

Monday

It's now monday, the 28th of September, my birthday. My whole school hasn't said a word to me at all about it. But hey, at least my family remembered. I woke up to my mom, abuela, nugget, and 11 of my siblings in my room. They didn't necessarily wake me. My alarm went off and I opened my eyes to see them all looking at me. It was kinda creepy too not gonna lie. Like how long had they been there? Coulda been hours from the way they were looking. I felt like I was joining a cult or a gang was getting ready to trial me. It was silent for a good two minutes until they broke out in the Yvillinueva happy birthday remix(our version of the happy birthday song). Bad enough my birthday is on a Monday, but the fact that it's an A-day really pisses me off. Like nothing could make this day worse. I mean my school could get shot up, but that's unlikely. I will say this though, it's more likely now than a year ago. Who knows, the “impossible” has been proven possible 10 times over-at least-If not more. So yeah. Block 1A I have math. I have to pee, but because of this class I'm on pass restriction. But nah, I'm not about to pee myself in the middle of a class. I mean I wouldn't do that anywhere, but I have to go bad. I'm not going to wait. So I ask. And about 8 minutes later, my escort walks in and says- and I quote-Am I too early? Like any later I would have needed  a change of pants. Anyway I got Miss Kelton. She's a sub, who is like 80 something years old, cranky, slow, and a straight up Karen. I get in a stall and I do what I got to do, flush, walk out, and there; the most popular girl in school. She's famous like in real life. People here are her fans. I go to wash my hands. “ You're really pretty” She says “I'm Lili, you probably know me. Everyone seems to know and love me. It kind of sucks” She's not okay. Something is bothering her. And I could tell. “I'm Holly. Everyone just calls me Holls or HD. I know of you and I don't know why I said everyone, because not a lot of people truly know me. They based me off rumors” I say. I really want to shut up. So I think of a way to get me or her out. That's what a scream which I bet is heard by almost the entire school was let out. It wasn't mine. And it was followed by a bang bang. We stand still. “Ahhhhh '' we hear followed by two more gunshots-at least what we think-and we run into a stall and lock it. We’re standing on the toilet and more and more screams, more and more shots and noises.