The Mysterious Note

Submitted into Contest #55 in response to: Write a story about a meeting of a secret society.... view prompt

75 comments

Mystery

 “Mommy, can I please go to the meeting tonight?”


“No, honey. You’re not old enough.”


“I’m seven!”


“Elora, conversation is closed.”


Elora awoke to her alarm buzzing fiercely. It was 7:00 in the morning, but it was still too early for her. That dream, that memory; she didn’t remember it at all. She sighed. It was all the past. Look towards the future.

Elora got up and had her morning cup of coffee. Black, with a splash of cream. Just how she liked it. She went outside and relaxed on her front porch. 

Elora finished her cup, and went back inside. She had the day off from work, so she was not in any particular rush. She worked as a nurse in a nearby hospital. She loved her job; it was her dream. 

Elora would have a nice day. She would read, and maybe sew. A relaxing day. Of course, she was wrong. Her day would be anything but relaxing.

A few hours later, she saw a mysterious man cloaked in black right outside her mailbox. She frowned. Her mail always came in the afternoon. This was strange. The man put something in there and then strolled away. Elora got up and walked to the mailbox. Inside, there was a letter. Well, it looked like one. She opened the envelope. She pulled out a piece of dark paper.

On it, in perfect handwriting, was a note.


Hello, Elora. We have lost in touch with you over the years. We have finally caught up with you. How are you doing? Oh well, it’s not the time for conversation. I’ll go straight to the facts. We haven’t had our meetings ever since the, ahh, the unfortunate accident of your parents. But, we have to come back together. I know you will have many questions. But, simply listen. We are having a meeting tonight. 8:30, where your mom used to take you as a child. Please come. 


Elora was frozen. She quickly went back into the house and reread the letter. What accident? She thought. My parents were killed in a car crash. Would she go to the meeting? She really didn’t know.

Was that the meeting in my dream? Were my parents in a secret gang or something? Thousands of questions ran through her head. 

She took a moment to calm herself down. I’ll go. But wait. Where was that location? She took a moment to think of all her memories. Let’s see. There was the park, the Chick-Fil-A, the library. Wait. The library. Her mom had taken her every single day. Elora loved books, and her mom knew it. Elora knew it was the library. 

So Elora got ready. She would go to the meeting.


***


The man cloaked in black held a walkie-talkie to his lips. He was standing behind a tree near Elora’s house.

“Package delivered,” He whispered. “Coming back now.”

“Copy.”

The man looked back at the house with a slight grin on his face. I can’t wait to see you again, Elora. He thought. 

The man in black had traveled all around the world. His clan was the most famous in the world. Well, not that famous. All the people in it were sworn to secrecy. If they told, well, it wouldn’t end up well for them. 


***


Elora took one last deep breath. She was standing right outside the library, at exactly 8:25. Of course, the library was locked up. Elora didn’t know where to go, until she saw a short woman beckoning to her from behind a bush. She walked toward her, a little scared. When she got behind the bush, the lady was already gone. Elora noticed a little trap door. It was propped open to one side. 

Elora stepped tentatively through the gap. There was a ladder, so she calmed down. She carefully went down. When she got to the bottom, she noticed the man cloaked in black as well as the short woman. They, as well as a few other people, were sitting in wooden chairs. They were sitting in a circle.

“Welcome, Elora.” The man cloaked in black said. His face was shadowed, so Elora couldn’t see it well.

“H𑁋hi.” Elora said. She faintly recognized the voice, but she couldn’t remember who he was.

“We were just waiting for you.”

“Thank you.”

“Now,” The man announced to the whole room. “We’re going to wait a few more minutes for one more person. Ahh, here he comes now. Welcome, Oliver.”

A young man, Oliver, was slowly climbing down the ladder. He looked confused, just like Elora. 

“Hi.” Oliver said.

“Now, we have two new additions to our clan.” The man cloaked in black said. “Please welcome Oliver and Elora.”

“Welcome.” The whole room murmured.

“Now, I’ll get this meeting started.”

“We haven’t had a meeting in 10 years.” Another man growled. “Why now?”

“Because it has become very important to meet. Now, to Elora and Oliver, we are all strangers.” The man cloaked in black stated. “I’ll introduce myself. I’m Abner.” He moved his face into the dim light.

Elora gasped. “Mr. Abner? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“It’s been a long time, Elora.”

“I know.” Elora asked.

“Uncle Abner?” Oliver asked.

“Yes, my dear nephew.” Oliver opened his mouth to speak. “Not now, Oliver. I’ll answer all of your questions you may have in a little while. Now, we know there is a dangerous world out there.”

“Talk about it.” A woman named Nancy muttered.

“Will you just shut up and let him speak?” The short woman asked.

“Thank you, Florence. Like I said, this is a dangerous world out there. People are getting hurt. And it’s our job to stop that.”

“Really?” A man named Sheam asked. “Is it our job? Please correct me if I’m wrong, but for the past 10 years it has been all your job, Abner. You made us go back to our normal lives, doing all the work yourself.

The room murmured in agreement.

“I know, I know. I haven’t been so good. It’s been hard to put all of you in danger. But,” Abner raised his hand as some people opened their mouths to protest. “I have now seen that this job is too hard for one person. I need your help.”

“Well, for what exactly?” Sheam asked.

“I’ll answer all your questions after I explain everything. Abner responded. “Do you understand me?”

“Yes, Abner.” Sheam said.

“M𑁋Mr. Abner?” Elora stuttered. “I have just one more question.”

“Yes, Elora?”

“What does all this have to do with me?” Elora asked. “I mean, I’ve been living my normal life until you, well, dropped off a message that had barely any information! I𑁋”

“I’ll answer all of your questions in due time, Elora. Now, please let me speak.”

“Y𑁋yes.”

“Before we had stopped having meetings, our job was to protect. Protect, not kill. Our clan is called S.N.K. Stop national killers. For a little while, our job was safe.”

“Huh.” Nancy muttered.

“Well, safe-ish.” Abner added. “Until people started taking notice of us. Many people saw that most of the murderers were slowly disappearing. Of course, they didn’t know it was us. We had been the ones who were taking them down.”

“T𑁋taking them down?” Elora stuttered.

“Brainwashing them.” Abner assured. “Never hurting them. We kept the peace. Until, of course, the accident of your parents, Elora. And your missing mother, Oliver. After those two things happened, I stopped our clan. I didn’t want any more of my people hurt. For a while I was doing the work. Until, I found out something.”

The people leaned forward in expectation.

“Your parents aren’t dead, Elora. Your mom isn’t missing, Oliver.”

“What?” Elora and Oliver both asked.

“They aren’t gone. They were kidnapped.”




August 19, 2020 18:18

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75 comments

Avery G.
18:20 Aug 19, 2020

Hey Guys! Just a quick note. I don't think "The Mysterious Note" is a good name, so any suggestions is welcome! Thanks!

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Scout Tahoe
20:50 Aug 19, 2020

Nice job, very. I love how it ends with the news that they were kidnapped instead of killed. Personally, I think The Mysterious Note is a good title. If you want other options you could do: Kidnapped, S.N.K, Elora and the Mysterious Note. Keep writing! I can't wait to read more. (Definitely write a park 2!) Btw thanks for reading my new story!

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Avery G.
22:12 Aug 19, 2020

Thank you! You're welcome!

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01:59 Aug 20, 2020

Hey Avery! Good read, maybe you could keep the title Dead Parents Or Missing Murderers

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Avery G.
02:54 Aug 20, 2020

Thank you! I'll think about it!

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03:00 Aug 20, 2020

Happy to help!

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Avery G.
14:42 Aug 20, 2020

:)

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Megan Sutherland
00:55 Aug 23, 2020

Also, Avery- Thank you so much for including me in your bio! It means a lot 🤗

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Avery G.
02:20 Aug 23, 2020

You're welcome! Thank you also for putting me in your bio!

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Megan Sutherland
02:24 Aug 23, 2020

Totally, you deserve it!

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Avery G.
02:24 Aug 23, 2020

:)

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19:00 Aug 19, 2020

Avery, this was such an amazing story! You have to write part 2!!!!!! I loved the ending especially! For the title, maybe "10 years." It's not great but it's all I could think of. You could also do "Elora's secret" or something.

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Avery G.
19:00 Aug 19, 2020

Wow, thank you! I might write part two...but I don't know. I'll think about the title!

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B. W.
21:02 Oct 30, 2020

heyyy

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B. W.
17:57 Oct 28, 2020

Heya ^^

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Avery G.
18:55 Oct 28, 2020

Hi!

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B. W.
18:58 Oct 28, 2020

how are ya?

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Avery G.
19:01 Oct 28, 2020

okay, I guess.

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B. W.
16:25 Oct 25, 2020

hey, how are ya? ^^

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Avery G.
20:35 Oct 25, 2020

I'm good!!! How are you?

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B. W.
20:37 Oct 25, 2020

I guess i'm good as well ^^ I made a few new stories, could you maybe check out "A strange night" and "Ghostly fun times" then leave some feedback please?

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Alina Manha
15:33 Oct 25, 2020

Wow!. I really loved it. Kept me hooked. Very well written.

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Avery G.
15:47 Oct 25, 2020

Thanks so much!!!

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Alina Manha
15:48 Oct 25, 2020

Your welcome!. 😊

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Alina Manha
15:49 Oct 25, 2020

Can't wait to read more. 📖

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B. W.
17:32 Oct 23, 2020

heyyy

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. .
04:31 Sep 01, 2020

Wow, super creative

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Avery G.
15:39 Sep 01, 2020

Thank you!

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Deborah Angevin
11:40 Aug 31, 2020

This story hooked me to read from start to end with full-on attention... amazing! The ending was really great too! P.S: would you mind checking my recent story out, "The Purple Sash"? Thank you :D

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Avery G.
21:38 Aug 31, 2020

Thank you so much! Sure!

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01:08 Aug 28, 2020

Ooooooooooh😱, woaw Avery, there DEFINITELY has to be a part two to this... I'm intrigued. I loved it! From beginning to the end. It all just kept me locked. Wow, wow, WOW! I do hope there's a part twooooo Oh please oh please oh please😖

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Avery G.
02:59 Aug 28, 2020

Thank you so much! I really don't know it I'll make a part two...I will if a good prompt comes up!

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23:21 Aug 28, 2020

Please do! This DEFINITELY needs a second part to it🤞

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Avery G.
02:01 Aug 29, 2020

Thanks again!!!

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Maya W.
23:08 Aug 27, 2020

Woah, so suspenseful! I loved it! Nice work. I also love the name Elora :)

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Avery G.
03:04 Aug 28, 2020

Thanks! Yeah, Elora is pretty!

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Lizzie Brown
08:34 Aug 27, 2020

I enjoyed this. I liked the suspense to it.

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Avery G.
15:09 Aug 27, 2020

Thank you so much!

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Jessie Nice
00:56 Aug 27, 2020

I’m hooked! If you wish , I would love to read a part 2 for sure :)

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Avery G.
01:38 Aug 27, 2020

Thank you! I might make one when a good prompt comes up!

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14:39 Aug 24, 2020

You got me hooked early on. Love this story!

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Avery G.
19:20 Aug 24, 2020

Thank you so much!

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K Rebecca
20:31 Aug 23, 2020

I love this story! It makes me curious for a part two. 🙂

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Avery G.
20:52 Aug 23, 2020

Thank you so much!

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Charles Stucker
18:42 Aug 23, 2020

This is your inciting moment, "Of course, she was wrong. Her day would be anything but relaxing." and it occurs as late as reasonable. Not a wrong point per se, but be aware so you don't sift any further (as a percentage of word count) into the story. "I can’t wait to see you again, Elora. He thought." You can probably drop 'He thought.' You can tighten your writing by getting rid of the "be" construction. Loot at "She was standing right outside the library, at exactly 8:25. Of course, the library was locked up. Elora didn’t know whe...

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Avery G.
19:11 Aug 23, 2020

Wow, thank you so much for the detailed comment! I will try to fix those errors. Aww...it just got approved. But anyways, I'll keep that in mind when writing other stories! Thank you again!

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Rayhan Hidayat
12:05 Aug 23, 2020

I love the mysterious and suspenseful tone here! Wonderful cliffhanger too, really makes the reader hungry for a part 2. Keep at it! 😊

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Avery G.
16:43 Aug 23, 2020

Thank you so much!

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Yolanda Wu
03:29 Aug 23, 2020

This was such an interesting story, I really liked reading about Elora, and whoo that cliffhanger. Looking forward to reading more! Amazing work. :)

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Avery G.
03:58 Aug 23, 2020

Thank you so much!

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Karin Venables
16:55 Aug 22, 2020

Well now, this could be an excellent opening chapter for a book. You have me hooked and wondering what happens next, Your technical stuff is excellent, so no worries there. Now where's the next chapter?

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Avery G.
18:47 Aug 22, 2020

Thank you so much! I will write a sequel, it's just not this week. I'll wait for a good prompt to pop up! Thanks again!

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