Drama Funny Kids

“Bloody hell, Mum, are we actually about to live in this palace?!”

“Dylan, how many times do I have to tell you it is a mansion, not a palace? And for God’s Sake, Dylan, will you stop cursing so much?!

“Gosh, Mum, ‘bloody hell’ is not too harsh. I’m 14, Mum! This isn’t the 20th century! Oh, and sure, Mum, but when a matchbox works for a home for a bunch of teenage twins and a tween, and they’re exiled to a glorious 10-bedroom , yard, swimming pool, private forest, meadow AND creek-inclusive mansion, it sure seems like that Buckingham palace we’ve trudged by our entire lives.”

“Dear me! Why, son, doesn’t your tongue get the better of you! Rake it in like you rake the leaves in autumn! But, pray, this modest outhouse will make Queen Elizabeth go green with jealousy!”

“Edward, do quit your sarcasm. First this munchkin goes about saying this is a luxurious palace, then you come along and call this a modest outhouse! You’re making your dear, recently-passed and much-beloved and missed mother go green with rage!”

“Edith, sweetheart, it may interest you to know that once upon a time, my mother lived in a slightly-larger-than-the-Roseley-mansion house, and when I was a young lad, she would come along, bounce me on her knee, and tell me “Why, my dearest Eddie, did you know your old Mummy here once lived inside a cigar pipe?” In case I confound you, the cigar pipe she refers to is actually the Esforth Estate. So, it must be genetics.”

“Well, do me pleasure enough not to say so in front of your offspring.”

“Jeez, Mum! What’s with the sudden offspring fancy vocabulary?”

Dylan wrinkled his nose in disgust. Mr.Roseley merely looked at Mrs.Roseley , slightly flushed, and said “Well, Edith, don’t say I didn’t warn you. I told you the munchkins would grow up someday and chastise you for being a show-off with your Oxford Dictionary.” Mrs.Roseley haughtily continued to hold her head high, and replied back

“If the future generation of Roseleys dislike my extensive knowledge of the English Language, they are very well equipped to suit themselves.”

With this, she turned on her heel and entered the house to start ‘moving in’, whilst Rebecca was barely able to stifle a laugh. Dylan merely shrugged, and Sadie remained standing next to the car door. Even though the rest of the family had taken leave from the stage, the littlest member of the family, who remained in the spotlight, who we focus on, did not move an inch and could not shake the feeling of an impending danger of some sort. Remind yourselves that though she stands only 4’4, her wit is larger and faster than even Mr. or Mrs.Roseley’s…

Sadie’s little eyes quickly scanned the ‘large pile of sand and bricks’ which was to be her new home. Antique, old, crumbly, dirty, neglected, what was the word… ah, yes, from the Victorian Era, rather posh, at 3 stories, and was that a terrace she could see up there? The ivy creeping over the walls gave a hearthrobbingly countryside-outskirts-rich person look to it; Andrea would be sure to love it… Sadie quickly dismissed the thought before she threw a fit demanding to be returned to London.

Nobody, not even Dylan or her mother, who knew her so well, would guess she was actually quite excited about the house. After the last person had entered the close-to-300 year-old building, Sadie ran her hands along the outer wall of the house, just under the reach of the ivy. She felt like there could be something… something, alive? Inside those walls…? Sadie shook the thought from her mind, though she felt it in her bones.

 This was definitely Rebecca or Dylan’s fault for playing too many pranks on her and making her such a suspicious little kid. She smiled and simply shook her head when she heard an agitated “Edward!” from inside, followed by the unmistakable smell of something burning and a splash of water. Quick bickering completed the sequence, and Sadie giggled, amused at what mischief her dad had already got himself into.

What now? Surely he hasn’t tried to cook already? God, I can’t wait for the burgers! McDonald’s binge, you won’t know what hit you! Or maybe we should go with Papa John’s? The pizzas are to DIE for… especially those veggie ones… good god, where are we going to eat, sleep, shower, play games? Is this going to be like a HOLIDAY? Ooooh, I can’t wait ! Maybe I do miss London, but one can’t be thankless for all the adventures we might have here!

 Argh, dammit! If only Andi could be here as well! Maybe Mum and Dad will let her come over for a week or two? What a big family it could be! But then Dylan and Rebecca will get all jealous, like spineless cows and demand for their friends to be able to come over, too. What fun might that be? Wait, how cool would it be if the three of us could have our friends come over at the same time?! That would be, gosh, heavenly, I fell like I’m already drowning in a heated pool of heavy caramel… Grow up, Sade! What immature thoughts you have! Such a baby, you are.”  

 The large train of thought she’d boarded was quickly brought to a halt by her Mum’s shrill voice, calling out crossly

“Sadie! If you want to be kidnapped, burgled, and have your dead body thrown into a well, I would suggest you stay put right where you are!”

Goodness gracious, if she was so worked up already, someone must have done something terribly exasperating in the few minutes they’d been here. Her mother never used such harsh words with her, and the curse jar was one less source of money for the Roseley children, because of their mother’s strict tolerance against profanity. Sadie couldn’t help but wonder, as she walked through the large, majestic, wooden door, if the things her mother had so quickly put out were actually possible scenarios for a lone girl of almost-10 standing alone, outside, in the night, in the town they’d moved to. 

“Sade, Ribs, are we ever going to get over the fact that we’re living in a palace?” Dylan softly called. Bundled near him, Rebecca answered his call.

“Mansion, not palace, Dy.” She softly whispered. Dylan chuckled and swatted her arm playfully.

“Do you think we could invite our friends from London over?” Sadie piped.

“Unfit for the situation, Sadie-bean. But, if it suits Mum and Dad’s fancy, I don’t see why they wouldn’t!” he said, slightly enthusiastic.

“Dear sweet Sadie. Always thinking ahead, aren’t you, my own little spaceshuttle?”

“Totally am, Caveman.”

Rebecca giggled girlishly and turned onto her side, away from Dylan and Sadie on her left with a soft sigh and an almost-clamorous russle of the sheets.

“Alright, weirdos, g’night, see y’all tomorrow…” she mumbled. Dylan sat up straight and said rather loudly “Hey, you stole the kid’s dialogue!”

“I am NOT a kid…” Sadie mumbled in protest, but it went unnoticed.

“Not stolen. Borrowed.” Rebecca grunted.

“-without Sadie’s permission, which is stealing!” Sadie said, in a sing-song voice. The three of them laughed.

“Har-har!” Dylan continued, in a pitch and loudness equivalent to Sadie.

it had definitely been many years since Dylan had sang, or even said anything in that tone.

“I’m never going to be able to suck up this glory. Even when I’m 80, I’ll boast to my great-grandchildren about how I was once a rich kid and lived in a house bigger than the Buckingham.” Dylan cooed, lying back down.

“Good lord, Dylan, get yourself together in one piece.” Becca groaned, clearly disgusted to hear her brother’s future life plans.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Sadie said, nodding off to sleep. Dy and Bex both said “Nothing!” in a cheery voice, synchronized, before pulling the covers over their little sister and kissing her good night.  

August 05, 2020 07:18

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Deborah Angevin
23:27 Aug 06, 2020

You got me at "bloody hell" (yes, a common phrase used in where I live) Would you mind reading my recent story out, "(Pink)y Promise"? Thank you :D


10:14 Nov 23, 2020

Hi I'm so sorry, I just realized I never replied! Yes, I read your story a long time ago, when you asked, and it was certainly enjoyable. You're a phenomenal writer, Deborah! Oh really, you must be from England, yes? I lived there a while ago, but not anymore :(... I hope you can find it in you to forgive me! ~Sythe


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