Loss

Warning: includes alcohol and drunk characters.

"This breaking news is going viral on the media!" Rebel ignored the blaring TV her father stared blankly at, it was of no interest to her. Nothing caused the fourteen year old to snap from her daze since her mother died two weeks ago. Cancer.

"Soldiers are collecting all children between the age of thirteen and nineteen for unknown reasons, we don't know why or who ordered this mandatory law, but the world is in chaos. Thousands of parents who refused have been jailed, they may be coming for your child next!"

For the past two weeks, nothing could make Rebel even glance up, but this, this was not something you could ignore. "Dad?" she whispered, her voice rough from disuse. He glanced blearily at her, his eyes red-rimmed. He held his beer bottle tight in his hand. "they won't come here, right?" He stared at her. "Delilah?" He slurred. Rebel sighed. He was drunk again. "I'm going to bed." She rose from her seat at the table and slumped down the stairs to her cold bedroom in the basement.

Rebel laid in her bed, her eyes prickling. She hadn't cried since the day her mother died. As the hot tears fell down her face, she felt the familiar ache inside as she wished for her mother's soft touch. Her father's booming laugh was no more, he never even smiled at her. He'd retracted into a shell surrounded by empty bottles and the stench of alcohol. Now the stupid news had pulled her from her own protection and exposed her to the tsunami of emotions that crushed her father's mind and spirit, now it threatened to smash her own. She turned off the lamp and darkness enveloped her as sobs racked her body. She cried herself to sleep that night.

The next morning, Rebel sat on her bed before rising to eat breakfast. She reached toward the small case next to her bed that contained her blanket that her mother finished her just before she passed away, her fingertips brushed it, leaving trails in the dust. She shook her head. She would expose herself again, better to protect herself from those feelings.

Rebel's father had already gone. He always said he was going to work all day, but every evening, he came home stinking like beer and sweat. He wasn't going to work. Rebel dropped her breakfast remnants in the trash and slipped on her coat. She needed to go shopping.

Stepping outside, the cold air stung her cheeks, reminding her of past wept tears. Her neighbor waved to her as she passed his yard. "Hi, Rebby!" Rebel turned her face away from him and ignored him. The smile fell from his face, but Rebel knew she couldn't come out, couldn't expose herself.

Wandering around the store, sounds were a meaningless buzz, filling Rebel's ears and rattling her brain. She ignored it all, didn't respond to a single hello, didn't smile when the cashier smiled at her.

Rebel walked down the sidewalk, her groceries gripped in her tight fists. She remembered shopping with her mother, they had walked on this same sidewalk, laughing in the sun. Rebel shook her head violently. Not going there.

Rebel pushed the front door open. Her father was sitting slumped at the table in the living room. "You're home early." Rebel said. He didn't respond for a minute. "got fired." He responded thickly, Rebel saw a beer bottle in front of him, condensation dripped down the cold glass. She sighed. Drinking again. "I went shopping." she said dully. He nodded and took a long swig from the bottle.

After putting the groceries away, Rebel slumped on the couch and switched on the TV, even if she wouldn't listen to it, it gave some atmosphere to the silent house that used to be so cheery.

"-pushing extra precautions to round up the children, apparently we are going to war worldwide. With what, they have not-" Click. Rebel turned off the TV and dropped her head onto her knees. "What are they talking about, dad?" She asked, her voice thick with fearful, unwept tears. "Junk." was the sullen reply and then the clink of glass on the table. Rebel felt like screaming. She went into the kitchen and prepared a small dinner for herself and her father, though he probably wouldn't eat it. Father and daughter sat across from one another, the silence was palpable. Then it was broken by a loud thumping on the front door. Rebel froze. Her father didn't even react. She rose and walked cautiously to the door. Rain fell in sheets outside, and the saturnine skies were swollen with water. It was late evening and the air was cold. Who would be out at this time? Rebel peered out the window next to the door. She gasped. Standing in the pouring rain, breath billowing as from a dragon, stood two soldiers, their faces blank, oblivious to the soaking rain. "dad!" Rebel cried, turning and running away from the door, babbling in fear. "They've come to take me, dad! Do something! Stop them!" Her father looked up at her, his eyes heavy. "What are you talking about?" He slurred. There was another crashing knock on the front door. "Them!" Rebel cried. "Dad.. I need you back. Come back and protect me." Another crash on the door and voices shouting. Rebel's father started to his feet, his bottle smashed on the floor, the dark liquid spilling on the tile floor. Like their family, their lives, broken. Smashed.

Rebel cowered behind her father as he stalked to the front door. He pulled it open with such force, one of the knocking soldiers almost toppled into the big, stinking figure. "What d'ya want?" Rebel's father roared. "Mandatory law says for you to hand over any children you have between the ages of thirteen and nineteen." the soldier responded. "If you resist, you will be detained." Rebel felt fear rush through her as her father reached behind him and grabbed hold of her wrist, pulling her into the soldiers' view. "She's all I have left. I lost my job and I can't live without her, she is all I have left since Delilah passed." The elder of the soldiers shook his head. "Our deepest regrets for your loss, but she still has to come. You will receive a stimulus check, as the rest of the parents who willingly allowed their children to go. Refuse and you will be detained."

Rebel's father was swayed, he glanced down through red-rimmed eyes at his daughter, tears shining in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Rebel." His warm fingers slipped from her hand and he propelled her towards the soldiers. "No!" Rebel screamed. The soldiers hands reached for her and she twisted away, pushing past her father and back into the house. The tears fell as she stumbled down the stairs and fumbled with the dust-covered case beside her bed. Heavy boots clomped into the house, they would find her in minutes.

She flung open the case with trembling hands and snatched the small photo of her mother off the soft blanket, changing her mind, she dropped it back in and snapped the case shut. There was a back door. She ran for it, suitcase in her hand, just as the boots rumbled down the stairs, rough and loud voices telling her to stop. She ignored them. She ripped open the door and dashed out into the pounding rain. She only made it a few meters before a vise grip caught her arm and brought her to a sudden stop. Her father stood, his long dark hair falling in his face, his wet eyes gazing at his daughter's terrified face. "No more running, Rebby." Rebel felt hot tears mixing with the cold rain on her cheeks. "Poppa? Why? After Momma died, You didn't protect me, you weren't there for me. Ever." A single tear slipped from her father's dark oblivion eyes. "I couldn't." He whispered. Rebel collapsed against her father, aching for love and her body trembling. He pushed her away. She stood alone in the cold, rain saturating her clothes. "I always loved you, you know." She whispered. The soldiers finally found them, they took hold of her arm and pulled her away, but her eyes, filled with grief and now anger, stayed on her father's dark shape, still among the falling drops. Why?

Rebel found out two months later. In the military camp all children were taken to, she met another girl. She was kind and had a soft, calming voice. Rebel had become bitter and defiant to anyone and anything. She and Nina were polar opposites and they became fast friends. It was rough at first, but Nina reasoned with Rebel's broken heart and Rebel began to understand. Her father was unstable, no job and with the loss of his beloved wife, he couldn't stand to see Rebel's face so similar to her mother's; it broke his heart freshly every time he saw it. They were both broken, not only him. Rebel hadn't seen it before, but Nina helped her see that she was as much in her own shell and if she faced her bitter emotions, she could repair herself. The two parted ways when the government released all the children when the matter of war was resolved peacefully.

Now Rebel faced her father after two months and fifteen days, her heart restored. A beer bottle hung loosely from her father's hand, his eyes were dark underneath, but his hair was cut and his beard shaved. He had been taking care of himself. "Poppa?" Rebel whispered. Smash! The beer bottle slipped from his fingers and exploded into a thousand pieces. It had been full, the liquid leaked into the grass, just sprouting in the early summer morning. "Rebby." Rebel fell into her father's outstretched arms and she sobbed with joy as his arms wrapped around her. He no longer had the stale stench of beer and misery. "I'm so sorry, Rebel. I saw so much of your mother in you, I couldn't see you as my own anymore. I'm sorry." Rebel felt something bubbling inside her that she hadn't felt in so long as her father's strong hand gently stroked her tangled hair. She was happy. They were whole again and they would pull through together. Rebel's father smiled as his daughter buried her face in his chest, he could see the smile on her face and a slow smile appeared on his own face as tears slipped down his cheeks. "I love you, Rebel."