A mother's diary

Date: March 27th

Dear diary,

Today is mothers day in UK. I just want to celebrate it with my partner and keep the romanticism awake even though after pregnancy my body and confidence is not the same. I love my body for who it brought in this world, but i really look like a mess. For me today isnt just mother's day. For me its also son day as without him i wouldnt be a mother. He is growing so fast. I gave birth to him last year in january. He was 3.68kg. He was so pink. People said i was lucky as i didnt need painkillers or c section. He just came out. From the beginning, by looking at his eyes, i knew that he is gonna be a tough boy, gonna be a cheeky one, but is was gonna also make my life valueble. Time went by and he just didnt stop growing (except the hair he is still a bit bold but i guess hegot that from me as i was the same when i was born). Once he was 6 months we went to take pictures at the studio. And everytime i look at the picture and think how life was different then compared to now. He was calmer than now as he couldnt walk back then. He has grown a lot. Is cleverer. Doesnt speak much yet but he runs everywhere and really does understand you when you speak to him. We try to teach him 2½ languages (yes english greek and a bit of italian as my partner family doesnt speak english and the only language i communicate with my partner is english as we are in UK and a bit of italian because.... who doesnt want to learn italian but obviously also because im from there) then by 10 months he started walking. So since then we use the stroller less. We walk together to places or i carry him. The stroller was just occupying a lot of space so im glad is walking. But i still use it when i need to go somewhere far and he simply doesnt mind it. I love when he used to sleep on my chest, when i hold is tiny hand back then and I love it even more now as when I cuddle him he cuddles me back. When i lie down sometimes comes to me to cuddle my arm and my face. I give him a huge kiss and then he runs away ready to destroy the house once again. The more he grows the more i feel he wants to be more indipendent and i like that its a normal process of growing. Very soon is gonna start going to school and make new friends and do new sports. Having a busy schedule as every kid should, to be honest. It is better for a kid to go school and do an extra curricular activity so that they can born all that energy, than just sit at home after school, because lets be honest. They dont sit at home. They have that energy and they gonna mess up the house with it. Tornado. Thats why let them free outside so that when they come inside the house they are exhausted and they will just eat, shower and then sleep. The truth is that everyone is growing. My son made me mature as a persone. He taught me real love. He taught me real patience. But as a young mother, i am growing as well. Growing becoming the best version of myself. Avoiding negativity. Because the past is full of mistakes that we really wish that we could avoided, but are just there and thanks to those experience we are who we are. The negativity in people, in things. I used to feel upset when i receive a bad comment but now i just try my best to avoid these kind of people that all they know is how to judge others. I want my son to learn that some people are troubled in their head and instead of fixing themselves they try to find mistakes in others. I want my son to be strong enough, so that those people's words won't affect him. I want him to grow strong and healthy. I want him to grow mature enough to understand that everyone makes mistakes and to forgive me if i ever do him wrong. Today he's not feeling that well. He's teething so he has a bit of temperature. It breaks my heart thinking that at this early age you still suffer to grow up. But I guess this is all about. Suffering to grow. It can be phisically or emotionally. My job as a mother is to be there, not to prevent from suffering, but for helping heal, so that he can grow as a healthy strong man. The only thing i pray for is to be a good mother. I try my best but I think it is never enough. He is my sunshine indeed, he feels my days with joy and with craziness. But i cant just be a fun mom, i need to teach him stuff, you know, discipline him. Will I be able to do so? Will I be able to be the perfect mom? Probably not, but I will work my hardest to make sure he lacks nothing and for him to always feel loved by us. That's why I will keep you, my little diary, with me and I will read every page where I talk about him to him. I will read it as a bedtime story, I will sing it. Let my son know that his mom is an artist and that she shows her love through affection and art such as this page of diary.

I will keep you updated about his reaction or if he's going to rip it off before I even read it to him as he's just one and loves ripping pages of everything

Goodnight

(Ps: John, don't rip off this page, mommy is watching you)