Mindiacid the playacting

Submitted into Contest #30 in response to: Write a story about a character experiencing déjà vu.... view prompt



They say scientists have found out ways to teleport things within 10 feet. Particles are discrete packets of energy with wave like properties as studied under quantum physics and matter is 'stuff' of universe consisting of protons and electrons with wave like behaviour?

I don't know much about these things but I know what I feel. My story starts in somewhat a movie- like opening which is actually the backdrop of the real thing.

It looked like a perfect house surrounded on all sides by tall eucalyptus trees spreading a fresh smell all around. Perennial and seasonal flowers bloomed in the well kept gardens.

I felt a strange sense of deja vu when I entered the house. It was as if I had been there before .As I listened to Mr. Strong ,the dealer talking to my husband, I felt my ears closing all sound and I felt I had got transported in some other time in that house.

I found myself standing downstairs in a hall near a staircase.There was a party going on. The people seemed familier yet unknown. Perhaps I was invisible to them. I looked up and saw a woman standing at the top of the staircase looking down at me.

She is Okaya, somebody whispered in my ears ( I couldn't see the whisperer). Okaya had a fake smile pasted on her lips which didn't quite reach her eyes . They were hard. I felt a chill.

Suddenly the voices around me became audible again. I returned to the present and saw my husband still talking to the dealer.

' What are you doing Greta, standing there staring at a wall'.

I was really standing in front of a plain wall.

'Nothing darling, I just got lost.

Mr.Dealer, is this wall recently constructed?

I asked.

He gave me a look of confusion. I will ask mam, he said.

We went upstairs. I was standing in a long corridor and I saw a mirror on the wall.

" Mirror, mirror on the wall who is fairest of all? "

She dwells among the stars and hears a distant call. She is the fairest of all.

I like the mirror, tells the whisperer.

It belonged to the late owner of this house mam. It's an antique and expensive, said the dealer.

I felt strangely afraid. Afraid of the mirror.

Now I will carry my story further. We have shifted to the house. I was busy putting things in their place.

The grandfather clock in the living room, gave a loud gong and told me the time was 2 am! I was so tired.

" Come I will give you a massage with vicks " Luke my husband said.

No, I don't need a massage. A goodnight sleep with revive my strength. I tucked myself I my blanket put the alarm at 6 am and went to sleep.

I was having a nightmare or perhaps dreaming. It looked so real that I really don't know what it was. In my dream I was running on a street. There were many people with sticks and Mashaal in their hands and I heard a poem

' I drove my horse right into their midst and sounds of swords and Shields clanged loudly in my ears '

Don't be afraid my mother I am hear with you.....

What a horrible fight it was. They were running after me and screaming. I was running away from them with all my strength. I saw the old house and ran towards it. The house was surrounded by tall eucalyptus trees from all sides. I ran up to the huge door and knocked with the round ring like handle with whatever strength left in me.

Clang.. clang.. clang....

Please open the door

The crowd of hooligans was coming closer. I was shouting. My heart was pounding in fear.

Please open the door ..

I was panting,

They will get me and beat me to death. A poem sounded in my ears

I am not grownup yet. I am still small..

I heard footsteps approaching and then the door opened by a very old wiry man. His eyes glowed like burning embers and a poem floated into my ears

" with cheeks as red as the roses

and hair as dark as ebony

with skin as fair as snow and lips the colour of ruby

I greet thee moses...

He let me in and closed the door behind me. The crowd had become berserk. They started hitting at the door and shouted

get out, get out.. you rundy

' Don't worry my dear. The door is very strong and sturdy. They will not be able to break it easily.

He brought me a glass of water and a girl came in.

Hello.. I am Yuchi.

This is my daughter. The old man introduced her to me.

Hello I am Mia.. I said shaking hands with her.

The crowd went away after sometime threatening to return again.

Greta whatsup you are talking in your sleep..Luke shook me up from sleep. It was 7am.

Oh my God I am late I said. What happened he asked.I was having a nightmare as usual Luke I explained.

All day long I kept thinking about the dream. "Why did I say my name is Mia when I am Greta? I knew the dream would come again.

I went upstairs as if in a trance and stood before the mirror. And the lines of a long forgotten poem whispered near

' I don't remember my mother but only when a certain song rings in my ear'

The wooden frame of the mirror was exquisitely carved with ivory and golden leaf design. I touched it and a current ran though me. I was

teleported into another time much much backwards

I was lost in a dream like vision which seemed so very real

I was walking on a deserted road thronged by cactus plants on both side. There was constructions for water for weary travellers to quench their thirst and I felt like Fahien on pilgrimage to India. Then I heard sound of horse hooves. Somebody was following me. Without looking back I knew it was okaya. She was holding a rope in her hand with a loop at one end. She was circling the rope over her head and then threw the rope towards me to put the loop around me and bound me. I started running. Suddenly a door materialised out of nowhere on the side of the road and I crossed over to the safe side. I knew she could not follow me there. Perhaps I had materialised the door at will. The vision vanished.

My cleaning lady was ringing the calling bell.

I started asking her questions once she finished her work.

This is an old house man.This has been broken and reconstructed several times. It has a sad history.

Do you know something about a girl named Yuchi and Mia I asked.

I saw them being attacked by mob. Did anybody commit suicide in this house or was perhaps murdered. I have felt a supernatural presence here I explained.

Her eyes became still for a moment as if she was trying to hide a secret. Then she said "did you see them" with a queer look in her eyes.

Yes I nodded my head. What happened to them ? Bad things madam she said softly.

Let me take you to that fateful night. The night when Yuchi met Mia.

Yuchi - I know who they are and why they are after you. These are members of two of the most notorious groups in this area. One is the 'Omi group' and the other is the 'Anarkid group'.

The anarkid group members take form of anything that you love and turn you against that by their bad actions making you believe that it is the ones you love that are your enemy but in reality it is these groups of anarkid and Omi. They will pretend to be anybody you value and praise and turn you against them and them against you .

These groups are like poisonous insects biting you, sucking you and your sanity. The Omi group worships the Anarkid group and do whatever the Anarkid tells them to do . There is another group or tribe called Dumbiun group. All these groups are interlinked.

Greta- Now I understand why they want to remove Mia. Your life is also in danger Yuchi because they know you are Mia's friend.

Servant-so in this way the two friends became a 'game' a plaything in the hands of these hooligans and mob. Their soul wonders in this house and become visible to people who can understand their pain.

February 29, 2020 04:24

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Shirley Medhurst
13:44 Mar 05, 2020

I was also confused about the dialogues... At the beginning, you used speech marks and then they just stopped. Was this intentional?


Ola Hotchpotch
15:17 Mar 05, 2020

In some lines I did forget to write who said those words. I did finish the story in a hurry. When she is having a dream she can't use dialogues . But when she wakes up she does say 'why do I call myself Mia in the dream'. When she is seeing a vision she feels like she is seeing a movie . Since these are all that she is seeing how will she write it in dialogue form?


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Miles Gatling
08:58 Feb 29, 2020

Congratulations! Love the atmosphere, it's all so mysterious


Ola Hotchpotch
13:36 Feb 29, 2020

Thank you for liking the story.


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Mia Hunter
11:08 Mar 01, 2020

Nice story. I think adding "" for dialogues would make it a bit easier to understand. Also, the ending revelation could have been a little more detailed since that is what the story is all about.


Ola Hotchpotch
03:04 Sep 15, 2020

Thank you for reading the story and your suggestions.


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02:11 Mar 04, 2020

So suspenseful, nice job!


Ola Hotchpotch
02:52 Mar 04, 2020



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