“Sorry.” “Happy New Year!”

“10… 9… 8…”

“I just don’t get you anymore.”

“What? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“7… 6… 5... “

“Oh, come on Alyssa. Don’t act like you don’t understand,”

“4… 3… 2…”

“I can’t believe you right now, Katie.”

“Sorry.”

“Happy New Year!”

It wasn’t really my idea to have a new year’s eve party, that was all Alyssa’s work. Though I suppose I can’t say I didn’t support her, I’ve always had a bad habit of bending under the slightest pressure, whether from my girlfriend or anyone else.

“Come on Katie, keep up, we need to finish cooking by seven.”

That’s why this year I’ve made the perfect resolution. I’m going to be more take change, less going with the flow and more speaking my mind, doing what I want.

“Katie!” Alyssa called from two rooms away.

I guess that starts tomorrow, I thought, following her voice into our bedroom. 

Our bed was absolutely covered with sparkly, sequined dresses, each a variant on black, gold, silver, or all three.

“I was thinking we could match,” Alyssa’s voice rang behind me, nearly making me jump.

I rubbed the back of my neck, “Sure, that sounds great,” I smiled awkwardly, trying not to let my true feelings show on my face or in my voice. 

To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t really in love with Alyssa anymore, and the thought of spending the whole night attached to her hip with everyone there thinking that we were madly in love with each other made my skin crawl. I’ve been sucking up these feeling for the whole month, I didn’t want to be the girl who dumped her during the holidays. At least I managed to convince her not to take me to her parent’s house for Christmas.

“What do you think of these silver ones, Katie?” She was smiling so widely that I could see her gums.

I spent probably half an hour get pairs of dresses shoved in my face while Alyssa told me about all the people she invited on Facebook. Apparently, the entire swim team and the soccer team are coming over tonight. It didn’t really matter to me who came because I already knew that Connor would be over, my best friend and confidant. Alyssa finally settled on black cocktail dresses with gold swirls at the hemp and neck. I think that was one of the things a didn’t understand, her obsession with clothing and matching.

After listen to Alyssa’s incessant chatter about food, drink, decorations, and whatnot for a good few hours while sitting in an uncomfortable dress people started pulling into her driveway. It was the biggest relief in the world for me, to not have to be stuck with only Alyssa for conversation. I felt bad ignoring her but she was starting to get on my nerves with her poor jokes and uninteresting topics, needless to say, I was glad for the new people.

Unfortunately for me, it was the previously mentioned soccer team, who seemed to travel together in one large pack, pulling up and coming inside. At least they brought beer. I made easy conversation with the girls as Alyssa turned the music up enough that the boys thought they could convince us to dance. Some went to the middle of Alyssa’s large living room with the boys but others, myself included, stayed back to hang out with some of the others who had just shown up.

As the night went on, and the clock ticked closer to midnight, people came and left and I was finally getting to talk to Connor and his group of friends. We were all drinking and being merry, trying to avoid the swim team that was trying to do mid-air flips in Alyssa’s kitchen, where all the food was. Obviously, cake and jello-shots flew across the floor after the fifth made their attempt. 

Our small cluster began to realize that our cluster wasn’t so small once it reached eleven. Nearly half the party was dancing and singing with us. I didn’t mind until a certain someone managed to shove through the small crowd and press against my side. Alyssa’s sequins grated against mine as she leaned in to kiss my cheek. Some of the other girls discreetly rolled their eyes at the PDA but bit their tongues at saying anything to her, she was the host after all. I tried to push her off me but she held my arm too tightly for me to even move her a little.

“So whatcha y’all talking about?” Her cutesy voice made me want to roll my eyes.

“Oh, y’know,” One of the girls, Emma maybe, smiled, drunkenly twirling her hair with her finger. “School and work and parties and stuff.”

“Great,” Giggles and small laughs wove through the group as Alyssa smiled awkwardly. “Katie, wanna dance with me?” 

A grimace threatened to show itself upon my face, I guess she never really listened to me when I said that I didn’t dance. “I think I’m good,”

“Come on Katie, it’ll be fun!” She started to try and drag me to the “dance floor” as the others turned away from us and I looked toward those that hadn’t with pleading eyes.

“Alyssa, Katie already said that she wanted to talk about Mr. Penn’s class with me,” Connor told her. I was so relieved that he had my back.

She looked almost startled, “Oh… okay.” She backed off and quickly scurried to the dance floor alone.

“Thanks for having my back”

“No prob, I thought you said you were going to break up with her?” He questioned, his hands falling onto his hips.

“I swear I was, I just…” I started to think and decided not to talk about this where my girlfriend could hear. “Here, come on,” I grabbed his arm and led him into mine and Alyssa’s bedroom.

We sat down on the bed. At this point of the night, we were both at least tipsy, maybe more. “I just can’t hurt her,” I hiccuped, he gave a laugh. “Her dad would kill me but it’s also the holiday’s you know?”

“Yeah, definitely,” He gave that sweet, warm smile he saved for special events. “I had the worst time breaking up with my last girlfriend.”

‘Wait, you guys broke up? Why?” I was shocked, they seemed to be perfectly happy.

He shrugged, “I guess we just didn’t click.”

“I feel that.” I paused. “How’d you do it? I need idea’s, I’m too nervous.” I laughed, covering my mouth with the back of my hand. 

“I dunno, we just sat and talked over dinner, we’re still friends so I guess it was a pretty big success.” He snorted afterward, also laughing at this point.

“I just feel like Alyssa will be sad or angry no matter how I break up with her.”

That’s when the door opened.

The squeak of the door made Connor and I nearly jump. Alyssa had apparently been listening through the wall. She was mad.

“You,” She pointed at Connor, coming into the room, “Out.” He complied quickly, turning back to shoot a pitiful look at me when he reached the doorframe. He shut the door behind him, trapping me with Alyssa.

“So were you planning on making me stay with someone who doesn’t like me forever because you’re scared of my dad or what?” 

“Alyssa, it’s not like that! I didn’t want you alone at Christmas.” I tried to reason with her. She only seemed more upset by my words. I struggled to think of something to say. It was a few seconds from midnight, I could faintly hear people chanting along to the TV outside.

“10… 9… 8…”

“I just don’t get you anymore.”

“What? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” She started to walk towards me. She was upset, I didn't blame her. I don't know why I kept talking. In my head, I blamed the various drinks I had had throughout the night.

“7… 6… 5... “

“Oh, come on Alyssa. Don’t act like you don’t understand,”

“4… 3… 2…”

“I can’t believe you right now, Katie.” She turned away and it was only when she was nearly out of the room when my voice came back to me.

“Sorry.”

“Happy New Year!”