The struggle is real

I have been fond of children since God knows how long. Who doesn’t? They do silly things, make you proud of there achievements, sometimes clingy, make you laugh when you are down, and more. They are my stress reliever, so when I found out that I was pregnant, I did not know what to feel. I was so excited and giddy, but I was also nervous because I am a first-time parent after all. 

A baby is formed in my womb and stayed there for nine months. Life grew in me, and every passing month was ecstatic. I could not wait for the day my little one is born into the world.

 When I gave birth to her, everything felt like magic. I could not wait to bring her home with me and start a life with her. 

*

A warm breeze blew my hair while I’m busy hanging the newly washed clothes in the back yard. Today is Sunday, and everybody thinks that Sunday is a day-off for all, but not for moms like me. We don’t have day-offs.

It has been two weeks since I gave birth, but everything feels like yesterday. I have plenty of things to learn and to adjust since she came into my life, but it was all worth it. I finished hanging the clothes and went inside. 

As soon as I stepped on the tiled floor, her cries came booming into my ears. Without taking a single breath, I hurriedly went to her crib. She is crying non-stop. I carried her into my arms and tried cooing her, but she’s still crying. I looked at her diaper, but she does not have poop, and it isn’t full. I still changed her diaper because she might be irritated but nothing. 

I am still cooing her. I looked around the room and saw her milk. “Ohhh she’s hungry.” I put her back on the crib, which made her cry more. “I’m sorry, baby. Wait for mommy. I’ll make your milk now.” I don’t have breast milk that’s why she drinks formulated milk. I hurriedly made her milk. Some milk powder spilled on the floor. I was about to clean it when her cries became louder. “I’ll clean you later. The baby comes first.” I talked to the spilled milk as if it would walk away from there.

“Here’s mommy. I have your milk.” I shook the milk to dissolve the powder. “I’m sorry it took me long.” I put it in her mouth, and she started sipping it like there’s no tomorrow. “Woah. That’s tough.” I sat down on the floor beside her crib. I relaxed my body on the floor because doing laundry and other household chores aren’t easy. 

She suddenly began coughing, which made me jolt up from where I was sitting. I carried her and tried patting her back, but she was still coughing, so I tried covering her fontanel. She was still coughing, and she’s already red. I was in a state of panic because I know she can’t breathe properly.

I hugged her tightly, and tears began flowing down my eyes without me noticing. “God please, don’t take her from me yet. I still want to watch her grow and have children.” I am sobbing loudly when someone smacked my head lightly.

“Stop crying. You look ugly. I’ll take care of her.” I heard Ronel’s voice from behind me. I pouted because he actually hit me on the head. “She’s just coughing. She ain’t gonna die. Stop crying like she has some serious disease.” I wiped my tears away. He took Renesme from my arms, and he patted her back lightly. “You’re such a crybaby.”

“You can just take her and not hit me, you know.” I rolled my eyes at him. He is swaying her then looked at her crib.

“Did you gave her milk without putting a pillow again?” He asked. I bit my lip because I forgot to put a pillow before giving her the milk. 

“I’m sorry. I forgot again.” I looked on the floor and played with my fingers.

“It’s okay, honey. Just remember next time.” He kissed me on top of my head. “There she isn’t coughing anymore.” He handed me Renesme, and a smile crept on my face.

“Thank you. If you aren’t here, I don’t know what to do.” I kissed his cheek while he ruffled my hair.

“Silly. You are my wife, and I’m the father of Renesme. We’re first-time parents, and these are new to us. I just remembered what mom told me the other day.” Then he left the room.

I looked at Renesme, and I caught her yawning. “Ohhh my baby’s sleepy. I’ll put you to sleep then.” I started swaying left and right while humming a tune I heard from the YouTube channel Cocomelon. After a few minutes, she was sound asleep. 

I slowly put her back in her crib and looked at her for a couple of minutes. “You are so cute. I want to pinch those chubby cheeks, but you might cry.” I poked her right cheek because they are so fluffy. “Mommy’s gonna do some more household chores, okay? Sleep tight.” I kissed her forehead and left the room. 

*

I am currently mopping the floor when I heard her cries again. “She’s awake,” I whispered to myself and went to her crib. “Hello, little one. How was your sleep?” I carried her and started cooing her. “What does this chubby baby want? What does this chubby baby want?” I asked with a baby voice.

“Something smells.” I sniffed the air and realized what it was. “You pooped.” I looked at her and laughed at myself. “I’ll get the wipes and a spare diaper. Wait a moment.” I put her back to her crib and grabbed a diaper and some wipes. 

I carried her again and laid her on the changing table. The smell was so strong, but I endured it because I have to change her diaper. If not she’ll have some rashes.

I removed the diaper tapes and started wiping off the poop. She is frisky and kept on moving her arms and legs. “Wait a moment, Renesme. I have to remove your poop. Stay put for a minute or two.” I pulled another wet wipe, then she moved. Bad luck is on my side because her poop is on my hand instead of the wet wipe. “What would I do to you?” I wiped my hand and smelled it. “Ohh gosh. That’s a really strong smell.”

I continued wiped her poop off, and finally, I finished doing it without putting poop on my hands again. “Time to put your diaper.” I positioned the diaper. I was about to put the first tape on when she peeped, and some of it went to my face. “Why are you torturing mommy today?”

After changing her diaper, she went back to sleep. I tiredly sat on the tiled floor next to her crib and drifted off to sleep without noticing.