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Mystery Adventure Teens & Young Adult

(This is the Princess Kamalini. It will help you understand her personality more)

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So, what is next for me?

I don’t know the answer to it, nor does anyone. It’s time that knows all the answers to my questions. The fireworks are glowing on my face with the sulfur rays falling on my delicate skin. Everybody is happy, my father is dancing with joy. The public and the courtesans are happy because soon they will get a queen, the empress they all had desired and prayed for.

But the questions, they don’t go out of my head. What is life for me? Is wielding a sword on enemies neck my life? or finding love is the quest of my life? All I want are answers to my questions.

The dining hall is full of aroma and crowd. People are licking their fingers, thanking the Bawarchi, and father for a grand feast. I am sitting on my throne watching their ecstasy. Controlling my urge to smile; because Akka said that if a princess smiles too much then people will not take her seriously as a queen.

I don’t have an appetite now. I want to go to the Ekaki river, gather lotuses and inhale their fragrance. I have to wait until midnight to make up my adventure.

Father glances towards me and smiles. He is proud of me and I love him dearly. His duties as a father are over now, he groomed and taught me skills about war, and life. For the past 16 years, he held me with his soft hands and was always there for me, when I needed him.

But still, I miss my mother. On this day when I turn 16, I wanted her presence, her words, her soft touch over my forehead. My memories with her remind me of the time when I was fully happy. Remembering her was always tough for me, tears escape my lotus-like eyes.

I rush to the balcony and close the door behind me. I want silence, from others and vibrations from my thoughts.

The whole city is illuminating, there is no street in Ekalki which is under the curse of darkness. People are dancing on the roads, singing their hearts loud, and chanting my names.

The only thing that matters to me is that the desires of my subjects get fulfilled.

I hear the door open; I immediately wipe my tears and gather myself. It's my father, who got concerned about my absence.

“Are you okay, Kamalini?” his worried eyes were telling me how troubled he gets over my sadness.

“Everything is okay, nothing to worry about.” I place my hand over his shoulders to assure him about myself.

“You miss your mother?” A few teardrops slide over his cheek. I gently wipe it away. A king's achievement is war wounds, not tears, that’s what mother taught me.

“No, I don’t miss her. Because you never made me feel her absence with your love and kindness. I miss her actions, I recall her teachings but I don’t feel her absence, because you never let me feel it.”

“I am very proud of you, and I know that you will fulfill all your duties as a queen.” He kisses softly on the backside of my palm and fills my heart with his warmth.

The night is still young but the fire within me is not extinguished. I want to take revenge, for my mother's death. Far from my kingdom is another kingdom Vaishak, our enemy. A decade ago he was a dear friend of ours, we used to trade together, our alliance was strong like the links of a metal chain.

But in their disguise of friendship, and enmity was hidden. Their sweet words and gestures masked their true agenda. The king of Vaishak, Raja Vrishab killed my mother when she war worshipping Lord Shiva in the temple.

To celebrate the friendship of both the kingdoms, they together constructed a temple on the borders of their land. The temple amidst the vast forest separated both the kingdoms. It was a day of the festival when both the kings had come together for the Pravesh puja of the temple. Everyone was happy, but our joy got eclipse by the diluted thoughts of King Vrishab. When everyone was busy with the festivities and music.

He attacked my mother from behind, showing his cowardly potential when she was worshipping the Pipal tree. Father immediately reached to her and my mother breathed her life out in his arms. But father did not spare him, he killed Vrishab their right on the spot by separating his head from his body.

From that day onwards strong hate grew in the hearts of the public for each other. There's a constant rift between us, small seizures, small attacks, but every time we defeat them on the point of our sword. Soon, I will be the Queen of Ekaki, and my next step will be to crush the Kingdom Vaishak under my foot.

“What are you thinking Nali?” a faint voice whispered in my ears. It was my friend Rekti, the soul of my body.

“Yes, I was thinking to cut you in pieces and feed you to my white tigress,” I clasped her neck delicately with my fingers and glared my eyes into her.

“Now I won't succumb to your silly threats, Nali,” her laughter slipped out from her delicate lips. I too joined her in unison.

“Rember how you used to get frightened when I used to threaten you in the same way,” we are best friends since childhood. She is a royal servant and friend to me. But our bond developed into sisterhood and now we are inseparable.

“So, can we start our midnight adventure?” She raised her eyebrows and gave me a sly expression.

“Let's go.”

We passed through the corridors with faint steps and controlled our giggle.

We opened the secret passage and paved our way with the light of masshal. We are going to the River Ekali, rafting on its water, and gathering the golden Lotuses in the cursed pond was my favorite midnight activity. Whenever my mind would be preoccupied with my thoughts, I would run away with Rekti and do this. We reached the river, which was still but underneath her calmness were those killer waves and some time the underwater bandits.

We took our weapons; I took my sword and Rekti her knives. We armed ourselves and stepped into the boat under the mild moonlight.

“Rekati, tonight I want to go somewhere else.” My words were heavy, but my heart was pounding lightly.

“Where?” She questioned me with a concerned expression.

“I want to drink his blood.”



March 13, 2021 17:15

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113 comments

Writer Maniac
06:53 Mar 14, 2021

I really liked this story! The character of the princess is quite rich, and the whole world you have created reminds me of the myths of Mahabharata and Ramayana that I still enjoy reading. A suggestion would be to use a different perspective, maybe third-person limited. That means that we would still get to know Kamalini's emotions and thoughts, but it would then become more realistic. When you describe her delicate skin or her lotus-shaped eyes, it would be more effective if you used the third person because Kamalini cannot herself see what...

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Radhika Diksha
07:04 Mar 14, 2021

Was waiting for your valuable feedback. Yeah, that's why I did not describe her entirely right now. I said the lotus shape eyes because she is named on that. Actually, the story of the mother is not complete, you will get to know it in the future.

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Writer Maniac
07:10 Mar 14, 2021

I don't think you understood what I meant to say. I meant that using third person limited will make it more easier to describe her as well as show her emotions also. If you look up the term on Google, you'll be able to understand it.

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Radhika Diksha
08:42 Mar 14, 2021

Yeah, I know what a third-person means. But I was keeping her character sketch for a while for the upcoming stories.

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Writer Maniac
08:45 Mar 14, 2021

There are many different types of third person, the specific one I'm talking about is third-person limited.

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Radhika Diksha
08:59 Mar 14, 2021

Got it, babe.

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Radhika Diksha
14:04 Mar 15, 2021

Finally added images to my series, you can kindly check.

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Writer Maniac
14:58 Mar 15, 2021

I've watched Chandra Nandini before!!!! I loved it a lot!

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Writer Maniac
07:12 Mar 14, 2021

Check my message on Hangouts

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Radhika Diksha
07:06 Mar 14, 2021

And you did not press the like button. You did not like my story? It's okay though. I will work hard for it.

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Writer Maniac
07:10 Mar 14, 2021

I forgot to, I have done it now

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. .
20:56 Mar 13, 2021

This was a great comeback!! Loved the cultural refs. However, you need Grammarly. There are many grammar errors and just diction flops throughout your story, so oversight is good and don’t worry it’s free. Next, your dialogue all sounds the same even across different characters. You want each one to have a voice and for them to be distinct. Other than that so glad that you’re back!!!

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Radhika Diksha
20:58 Mar 13, 2021

I actually used grammarly for the story. Like used it. Can you point out the mistake you saw.

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Radhika Diksha
21:14 Mar 13, 2021

I edited some things. Actually I used reedsy totally believing it, and to my surprise it's made a lot of errors. I did not proof read it before but now I did it. You can check out and please do point out my mistakes.

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Radhika Diksha
03:45 Mar 14, 2021

Luke, Grammarly in its auto check was writing many things in the past tense. So, I proofread it now. SO, removed all the grammatical errors. Still, if you see anything tell me.

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. .
15:45 Mar 14, 2021

Nope it’s great!!!

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Kate Reynolds
17:29 Mar 13, 2021

WOAHHHHHHHHHH THAT ENDINGGGG Okay I LOVE THIS I love how many references there are to Indian (is it Indian?) religion, I thought that was really coolllll AND I AM SUPER HAPPY YOU'RE BACKKKKKKKKKK YAYYYYYYYYSDUDSHJGLSDKGSDG Reedsy was so plain without youuuuuuuuuu

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Radhika Diksha
17:33 Mar 13, 2021

Aww you so cute, even I missed you a lot. Yes, it's Indian but it's not religion. It's Indian culture. I liked that you loved the story.

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Kate Reynolds
17:57 Mar 13, 2021

:D Oh, sorry! It was reallyyyy gooddd

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Radhika Diksha
18:03 Mar 13, 2021

Kate Did you get confused in the story. Like who killed the princess mother just asking.

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Kate Reynolds
19:59 Mar 13, 2021

Nope I didn’t! It was King Vrishab right?

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Radhika Diksha
14:05 Mar 15, 2021

Finally added images to my series, you can kindly check.

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Kate Reynolds
22:30 Mar 15, 2021

OoohHHhhh sureee!!!

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Moon Fox
15:40 Sep 02, 2021

Sorry for your loss.

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13:36 Apr 09, 2021

Lovely names! I loved the whole "Rani Lakshmi-Bai" vibe! The plot was structured out pretty good, and the images give clarity. Lovely ending too :)

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Radhika Diksha
14:07 Apr 09, 2021

Thanks, second part is also good.

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14:12 Apr 09, 2021

Welcome, ooh, okay! I'll check that one out in a while

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Cookie Carla🍪
16:55 Mar 22, 2021

Ooo the imagery left me with chills!!! I loved that addition!!! The princess has such a nice vibe to her that really makes the story alive. I can admit though, reading this Part 1 did make Part 2 have a lot more sense😂😂 I loved the way you carried your main character, aka the princess. She held such a great addition to the overall story. Another great one!!

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06:38 Mar 17, 2021

has such a beautiful rhythm, was such a melodious story marching towards a crescendo there was a little typo, in this sentence, "The king of Vaishak, Raja Vrishab killed my mother when she war worshipping Lord Shiva in the temple." Kamalini..., doesn't that mean lotus?, and the lotuses in the pond, it all creates a nice ambient bond kamalini, kamalashi, lotus names are amazing....,

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Radhika Diksha
07:31 Mar 17, 2021

Thanks, for the wonderful feedback. You too are poetic with your comments. Yeah, even I love the lotus names.

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08:00 Mar 17, 2021

thanks for thanking me =), my comments absorbs a little aura of the story, you wouldn't have found a comment like this one if your story didn't have a certain poeticness. =)

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Radhika Diksha
09:17 Mar 17, 2021

Thanks you so much. I would love to be friends with you.

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09:43 Mar 17, 2021

You are already my friend. =) Thanks for writing such an amazing story!, you made my day. happy today.

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18:29 Mar 16, 2021

Hello! Can I be here?

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Radhika Diksha
02:47 Mar 17, 2021

Thanks for the feedback and sure. Just answer some questions and you will be in the next part.

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11:28 Mar 17, 2021

Ok!

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Akshaya Sutrave
15:07 Mar 16, 2021

Hey Radhika! I really like reading this story, there are so few written on Indian history/ mythology and I love how you decided to write a series on it! Adding princess Kamalini's pictures was a cool idea, and I enjoyed reading your descriptions on her thoughts and feelings! Great job, I can't wait to read the second part!

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Frances Reine
23:56 Mar 15, 2021

First slice of the series--loveliest world building. Love the glow of culture and definitely a strong protagonist. Sorry I'm coming about so late. Schedule's getting tighter and tighter. One suggestion: "The only thing that matters to me is that the desires of my subjects get fulfilled." (I'd use "are" instead of "get". Personally I'd say it comes with better flow but it's up to you of course.) And how lucky am I? Part 2's out already and I don't have to torture myself and wait :)

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Radhika Diksha
14:17 Mar 16, 2021

yEAH, ITS OUT WAITING FOR YOUR COMMENTS. I PRAY THAT YOU MANAGE YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE WITH EASE. AND THANKS FOR TAKING YOUR PRECIOUS TIME FOR MY STORIES AND FOR ME.

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Frances Reine
14:38 Mar 16, 2021

Well why wouldn't I? You're amazing. I need to make time for that surely. I've read p2. Commenting soon, I promise :)

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Radhika Diksha
14:40 Mar 16, 2021

Yeah, sure. You are such a good friend of mine. You literally make my days.

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Hey Radhika! Glad ur back, ur writing is so beautiful! I loved the names and the title was super creative! I can't wait to read part 2! Also about ur bio, I def care about u:) Can i be a part of this story? Overall I loved this! Keep it up!

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Radhika Diksha
14:18 Mar 16, 2021

lovely person, you are super nice. Thanks for reading my stories and caring for me.

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Aww of course! NP:)

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Kate Reynolds
22:32 Mar 15, 2021

WOAH SHES SO DANG PRETTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

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Felicity Anne
15:37 Mar 15, 2021

Wow!!! This story is so full of emotion and suspense! I love Kamalini's personality. She's not your every-day weak monarch that is often portrayed as a weak woman. I love that she's strong and that she has a thirst for vengeance! Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful work, Radhika!! :)

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Radhika Diksha
16:10 Mar 15, 2021

You can also read the 2 and part. You will get to know better. And thanks for the feedback you are too sweet.

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Felicity Anne
21:13 Mar 20, 2021

Oooh I will definitely read part two!! Aww thanks, you too!! :)

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AHHHHH I NEED TO READ PART 2 RIGHT NOW AHHHH IMA GO DO IT THIS IS AMAZING

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Radhika Diksha
14:04 Mar 15, 2021

Finally added images to my series, you can kindly check.

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Radhika Diksha
14:23 Mar 15, 2021

Did you like it?

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Radhika Diksha
14:26 Mar 15, 2021

I have put it for the second part too, which you can watch.

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Yolanda Wu
00:23 Mar 14, 2021

What an engaging story! It's so great that you're back, and treating us with this gem. I thought it was so interesting how you captured the character of Princess Kamalini (beautiful name btw), she was intriguing to read about, because she doesn't seem like the typical princess, she definitely has a dark side, which I'm excited to learn more about. Love the way you wrote how she missed her mother and the close bond she has with her father. Your descriptions have gotten so much richer, I can totally imagine everything the character is seeing a...

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Radhika Diksha
02:30 Mar 14, 2021

You are a great person. And thanks for giving such a wonderful comment.

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Yolanda Wu
04:31 Mar 14, 2021

You're welcome!

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Radhika Diksha
14:04 Mar 15, 2021

Finally added images to my series, you can kindly check.

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Yolanda Wu
20:17 Mar 15, 2021

Ooh! I'll be excited to check it out. :)

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Sapphire ~♚
23:24 Mar 13, 2021

LOVE how you added a few references here and there related to your culture :) Where are you from Radhika? And what language do you speak? I know Telugu lol I was just curious :) This is SUCH a great start to a series! There are a few grammatical things that need a little brushing up, but your descriptions were on point! Thank you for blessing us with this amazing series, I love how you added in the Indian culture lol :) The queen's name is beautiful Radhika, I really enjoyed reading this lovely piece. And the title is also perfect :) G...

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Radhika Diksha
02:29 Mar 14, 2021

Can you point out the grammatical errors. It will be helpful for me.

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Radhika Diksha
14:05 Mar 15, 2021

Finally added images to my series, you can kindly check.

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Sapphire ~♚
16:04 Mar 15, 2021

I looked over your story and I LOVE the images! The princess looks fierce and pretty and the images are a nice touch to the story. Everything looks great! Can't find any more grammar mistakes, the story is amazing :) YOU'RE TELUGU TOO? Oh my gosh that's SO COOL!!!!! YES SOUL SISTAS! Ela unnavu?

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Radhika Diksha
16:11 Mar 15, 2021

Baga unde. I don't know Telugu much, but yaaa soul sisters.

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Sapphire ~♚
16:15 Mar 15, 2021

Haha! It's so fun to meet someone who knows your language! 😀

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Radhika Diksha
16:16 Mar 15, 2021

yeah. Can you read my part 2. I would love your feedback.

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Radhika Diksha
03:43 Mar 14, 2021

Even I am Telugu. Soul sisters. I cleared my past verb tense and all. I brushed everything. Still, you can check my grammar mistakes.

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19:59 Mar 13, 2021

Welcome back Radhika! Wow, this was an amazing story! The ending was great...I want more! There are a few spelling/capitalization issues here and there, but nothing too bad. I loved the whole plot, character development, and I'm glad that this is going to be a series. So glad you're back!

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Radhika Diksha
03:45 Mar 14, 2021

I did the proofread and clarified it.

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Radhika Diksha
14:05 Mar 15, 2021

Finally added images to my series, you can kindly check.

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oof, that ending! It's like...who's blood? probably her enemies :) Great job as always, and yes, your bio is right, I do care about you :))) How you doing?

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Radhika Diksha
14:05 Mar 15, 2021

Finally added images to my series, you can kindly check.

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sure!

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i'm glad you decided to add pics, it helps give the reader an idea :)

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Radhika Diksha
14:42 Mar 15, 2021

Did you like it?

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yeah, it was pretty good. How have you been?

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Radhika Diksha
15:03 Mar 15, 2021

Was feeling low today but now feeling better.

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Radhika Diksha
18:36 Mar 13, 2021

Hey did you find the plot confusing or like who killed the princess mother.

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Radhika Diksha
18:37 Mar 13, 2021

Yeah, i know. You are my best friend. I am great

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:) well, a tad bit confusing...I thought it was her enemies in the temple, right? That's really sweet of you! I haven't had an online best friend before!

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Endellion .
18:06 Mar 13, 2021

Could I be in your story? I really enjoyed it and can't wait for more!

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Radhika Diksha
18:07 Mar 13, 2021

Sure. Fav colour: Gender: Choice of weapon: Personality: Body personality: Just fill this up

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Endellion .
18:15 Mar 13, 2021

Thank you! Favorite color: Yellow/gold Gender: female Choice of weapon: sword Personality: soft spoken, but dangerous. Body personality: Short, stocky. Blond hair, blue eyes. Again, thank you!

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Radhika Diksha
18:18 Mar 13, 2021

Give descritive idea of your weapon.

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Endellion .
18:38 Mar 13, 2021

three foot blade, curved crossguard. Small pommel and leather hilt.

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Radhika Diksha
18:19 Mar 13, 2021

Hey bucky did you get confused with the plot. Like who killed the princess mother.

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Endellion .
18:39 Mar 13, 2021

No, I didn't. it was the king of Vaishak, Raja Vrishab. It was fine! :)

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18:04 Mar 13, 2021

Ooh, I love this character so much! She feels so alive and dynamic, and it’s obvious that she has a darker side to her. Great story and attention to detail!

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Radhika Diksha
18:06 Mar 13, 2021

Hey Ethan, are you getting confused with the plot. Like who killed the princess mother?

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18:54 Mar 13, 2021

I’m not completely confused, I don’t think

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Radhika Diksha
19:12 Mar 13, 2021

Ok great

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Radhika Diksha
14:05 Mar 15, 2021

Finally added images to my series, you can kindly check.

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14:14 Mar 15, 2021

That was your profile, right?

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Radhika Diksha
14:22 Mar 15, 2021

Yes great observation.

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