A Lie

When you go out, do you feel the warmth of the sun dripping down your head, onto your shoulder, your torso, knees, and feet? Does the warmth envelope you after getting out of a cold room. Does it light your path to the park and stay lit while you play. Or does it, like me, burn your skin, creating bumps and red marks all over you.

Instead of the warmth greeting me when I step out into the light, I feel pain. For me, that warmth is nonexistent, instead, I feel a burning sensation, one you feel when you cook an egg and the oil jumps onto your skin because the fire is too hot. Unlike you, I never got to experience the joy of playing outside in the light. It’s not like I’ve never been outside, I have, just not in the day. 

Many may think it must be great not having to go outside, you can sit around and watch t.v, or play videos all day. It wouldn’t be as bad if I could, but I can’t. No, the reason has nothing to do with me being allergic to the sun, it’s actually because of where we live. By we, I mean mom and me, dad left when I was born. Well, anyway mom and I live in the woods and because I’m not allowed to go out, for obvious reasons, mom goes out to hunt. And for water we use the river near our house, mom goes to collect once a week and then filters it. We use solar panels so that there is light in the house. 

Yeah I know, we live a pretty strange lifestyle. Well, you must be wondering, at least you don’t have to go to school, wrong again. Just because I don’t physically go to school doesn’t mean I don’t learn anything, I do, mom used to be a teacher before we moved. In all honesty, I don’t understand why people don’t like school, you get to learn new things and talk with your friends. Maybe it’s because all kids do is watch video games or do drugs, that’s what mom said when I asked her about it. 

Mom doesn’t like talking about the outside world, she always has a sour look on her face when I ask. When I want to learn something about the outside, I usually just read a book about it. I read a lot because there is nothing else I can do around here, I have no friends, no phone or computer to watch videos, I don’t even have any pets. Because my birthday is coming up, I wanted to ask my mom if I could get a pet, but I am not too sure if she will say yes.

You see my mom is a bit overprotective. Last time, when a squirrel came into the house, and I went to go touch it, she nearly screamed her head off.

“RICHARD! Do not touch that filthy rodent, it could bite you and you can get an infection,” she yelled.

“Sorry mom, it just looked like it needed help finding its way outside the house.” 

“That’s fine, just next time, call me, you know you are fragile and can get sick easily.”

“Alright, mom, sorry,” I said.

“It’s alright dear, everyone makes mistakes, just be sure to call me next time.”

#

“Mom, you know how my birthday is coming up,” my voice quivering with uncertainty. 

“Yes, have you figured out what you want yet, you know this is the only time out of the year we go out.” (by we she means her)

“Uhh yes, I was hoping, since I am turning 15 and more responsible now, that you would… allow me to have a pet,” I mumbled.

“Speak up, you know I don’t like it when you mumble.”

“I was hoping that you would get me a pet! I have nothing to do all day, all I do is read books, I can’t go outside, and I have no friends. I promise to take care of it, I'll feed it, train it, and make sure it doesn’t make a mess. Please mom I really want one,” I pleaded.

“I don’t know, it could bite you and get you sick, and you can’t have a dog or a cat because they need to be able to go outside and could get lost in the woods all by themselves,” mom answered.

“I could get a rabbit or a hamster, or even a bird, I'm fine with anything,” I answered hurriedly. 

“You know I don’t like rats, and birds are too loud, a rabbit seems to be ok…” 

“Please, please I really want a pet mom, because we are up in the woods, I have no one to talk to, no offense mom, but you're really not the funniest person to talk to,” I begged.

“Fine,” she said.

“Really, like really really.”

“Yes, but only if you promise to be careful and you take care of it.”

“Oh thank you, mom, I love you so much,” I said as I ran up to go hug her.

#

It’s been a month since I asked her and two weeks since I got Larry. Larry is grey with really cute floppy ears, and he has a cute nose that scrunches up when he sniffs something. 

Larry was hopping around in the living room while I was reading a book. Mom was out hunting and won't be back for another hour. I was so immersed in the book I was reading that I didn’t see Larry heading towards the door that was left open so that the house didn’t get too hot.

I looked up and saw Larry out of the house, “LARRY,” I screamed.

I ran up toward the door and stopped. I can’t go outside, the sun is still out, but Larry could get lost and if I lose him I'll never be allowed to have another pet again. 

And so I made a decision, if I go fast and grab Larry and then come back in, I shouldn’t be affected, yeah, that’s what I'm going to do. And so I stepped out and ran. Immediately I felt warmth envelop me, the feeling I get when I step into a warm bath. “Forget about that, I need to get Larry,” I said. As I was running toward the gray rabbit. I didn't see the branch on the floor and I tripped, I fell with a loud thump. I stayed there frozen in fear. But after a while, I noticed, I don't feel any pain, I did, but only from the fall. I stood up slowly, then looked towards where Larry was and quickly got him and went back inside the house. 

“Am I not allergic anymore, I didn’t have any sort of reaction, my hands feel fine and I'm not growing any hives,” I mumbled to myself.

“Should I try again, maybe I am not allergic anymore, and if I am not that means I can go outside, and maybe go to school and make friends!”

Over the course of the week, when mom went out to hunt, I would slowly go outside, at first it was for one minute and then I would quickly go back, but now I would go for 20 minutes and I will still feel nothing. I don’t feel any pain and I don’t get any hives. 

“Maybe I’m all better now,” I mumbled

“What did you say?” My mom asked.

“Uhh nothing, sorry just thinking to myself.”

“Ok,” mom said. 

I didn’t know how to tell mom. I wanted it to be a big surprise like, “mom I’m not allergic anymore,” and I step out into the sun. But mom would probably faint and I don’t want her to get hurt. So I decided to tell her today during breakfast. 

“Mom..”

“Yes, Richard.”

“Umm I don’t know how to tell you so I’ll just say it, I'm not allergic to the sun anymore!”

“What!” She exclaimed while she dropped her fork.

“Yeah, last week Larry got out of the house and I didn’t want him to get lost so I went to go get him, I went as quickly as I could but then I tripped and I stayed on the floor for a while and nothing happened. I wanted to be sure so I tested it out and I was able to be in the sun for 20 minutes, can you believe it.”

“Oh really,” she said in a whisper-like voice.

She stood up and got her dishes in the sink, I heard the water running. Does she not care, I thought she would be more excited. She came back and her hands smelled like something but I didn’t know what it was. 

“Show me,” she said.

She grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the door. She stopped in front of the door and waited. I looked at her, then I looked outside, I slowly stepped out into the sun. I stood there outside in the sun with a face that said, I told you so. And then suddenly on one of my arms, I felt it start to itch, I looked and my hand was turning red with bumps on it. 

“What,” I said. 

“Richard!” My mom yelled.

She grabbed my arm and pulled me inside, she dragged me to the kitchen and washed my hand. She pulled me towards the couch and got cream and started to lather it on my arm. I started to feel a cooling sensation, I looked up and saw my mom pouring me a glass of water and handing me a pill. 

“Drink, it will help you feel better,” she said.

I drank it and started feeling queasy. Mom grabbed my hand and started to lead me towards my bedroom. My eyes started to water. Why, I didn’t feel anything before, why now. My mom sat me down on my bed, and I layed down, she got my blanket and tucked me in.

“I know sweetie, I know you wanted to believe it was real, but it’s not, and you could’ve gotten yourself really hurt,” she says while petting my hair.

“I’m sorry,” I said before drifting off to sleep.

#

A month has passed since then, mom made me promise to never go outside during the day, this time I listened. I was cleaning the house while mom went out to hunt. I was currently in the kitchen cleaning the cabinets when I saw it. My pills, the one mom made me take when I got the hives. I looked at the bottle, something telling me I need to see it. I read the tag. It said my name and I read a bit down when it caught my eyes, Peanut Allergy. My whole world stopped, peanut allergy? That’s not right, it should say something about sun allergy. 

“I’m not allergic to peanuts. I've eaten them before, haven’t I?” 

Now that I think about it, I’ve never eaten peanuts before, nothing. I looked up and decided to look for the peanut butter, we should have some. It took me a while but I found it, it was all the way in the back of the sink cabinet, suspicious. I looked at it and then opened it, it smelled familiar. I got a spoon and then, I put some on my arm.

“Nothing, I guess that medicine for peanut and sun allergy are the same.”

And then I felt it, it was a familiar burn and ich. I quickly went to the sink and washed it off, I went into the kitchen and looked for the cream mom used. I put it on and I felt a cooling sensation on my hand. 

What?

I quickly went out into the living room, bottle in hand. I looked at the door and stepped towards it. I put my hand on the door and turned the knob. I got met with a warm blanket. I stepped out and felt nothing but warmth. I stood there. Why? Mom wouldn’t do this to me, she loves me, she would never, would she? No, what am I saying she obviously would never, but I am right here standing in the sun. And then I remembered, I know why it smells so familiar, I smelled it on mom before. When I told her I wasn’t allergic and she grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door to show her.

My thoughts are interrupted when I hear a rustling noise. I turn towards it, and it’s mom. She looks at me looking like she is about to scream, but then she looks at what’s in my hands. Oh, right the bottle. She stops and stares, her face filled with guilt. 

It was all a lie.