42 comments

Mystery Thriller Kids

Dear Diary,

Night had swept over the sky;

our small town had fallen silent. I looked out of my window towards the house

next door. The tinted windows were closed, making it difficult to see through

them. You may be wondering why I want to peek through the windows?

Well, here's the backstory...


Yesterday evening, my mum told me that I have a new neighbour coming in. Yeah, that's awesome... right?

Not for me or Kath. Mum had told us that the neighbour moving in was a quiet,

unsociable, rude, grumpy guy that doesn't have a family. Now that was

interesting. I mean, what type of middle-aged guy isn't already married or

doesn't have any children. Isn't that pretty weird?


So, today morning I heard the loud engine sound of the moving truck. Mum and dad headed downstairs to help with the cargo, but me? I looked out the window at the road, to see the cargo going in and a man, middle aged, grumpy looking, greying black hair and narrowed brown eyes. I think that might be our new neighbour, Mr Marlow.


Kathy was sitting on the bed next to me, hooked up with her new headphones, probably listening to music. I donโ€™t think Iโ€™ve told you though dear diary, but Kathy told me before that she wanted to become a music artist! Awesome right? Anyways, mum thought that I should meet my new grumpy neighbour for some reason.


โ€œHello, missโ€ฆโ€, Mr Marlow sneered, scrunching his face into a deep scowl but paused at my name.

โ€œItโ€™s Beth, but nice to meet you sirโ€, I smiled, or at least tried to.

Mum turned to the grumpy man and looked him in the eye,

โ€œHow come you arenโ€™t married yet or have any children, Tom?โ€, Mum asked, continuing to stare the Grump in the eye.

โ€œU-uh, why do y-you ask?โ€, the man chuckled nervously, trying to hide his fear.

Mum lifted her eyebrow; her suspicions were rising as well.

โ€œItโ€™s none of your business. Donโ€™t meddle with my personal lifeโ€, he growled, raising his fists in the air, almost like as if he would punch my mum. Dad glared at him coldly, making Mr Marlow to back away inside his house.


โ€œSo much for a first impressionโ€, I muttered, looking in the direction of the house. Dad was still trembling in anger at Marlow.

โ€œThatโ€ฆ was oddโ€ฆโ€, mum stated bluntly, heading back inside.


As I had guessed, Kathy was lying on the bed, updating her new, so called โ€œAlbumโ€.

โ€œHey, Kath! What are you doing?โ€, I asked, taking a bite out of the apple in my hand. CRUNCH CRUNCH! As expected, no answer. Everyone knows Kathโ€™s laptop, guitar and headphones are her world.

โ€œKATH! Quit spending so much time on your dumb laptop and listen to me for once!โ€, I screeched over her. My answer to my raised voice was an irritated Kath, glaring at me like she wanted to wring her hands around my neck, intently.

โ€œWhat?!โ€, She groaned, placing her headphones aside and shutting her laptop.

FINALLY!


โ€œThe neighbourโ€ฆย I NEED to tell you about him!โ€,

โ€œWhat about that dude. He doesnโ€™t really bother me, what really does, is YOU!โ€,

โ€œMeh, but anywaysโ€ฆ He is so grumpy, and his face, is always twisted into thisโ€, I remarked, pulling into an angry pig like face. Kath just stared at me blankly.


Having a twin is meant to be fun and great, but me and Kath? No way! Weโ€™re totally opposites! I love to dance, play sport, go outside, be loud and do things my own way! But Kath? No, sheโ€™s shy, likes to lock herself up with her music, short tempered and only has one human friend, thatโ€™s Zack, or Zippy (nickname).


โ€œCome on, why donโ€™t you ever laugh. You are so boring!โ€, I groaned laying back on my bed. Oh, I didnโ€™t tell you, but Kath and I share the same bedroom. NOOOOOO! But yeah, so last summer, dad said we could have our rooms painted, decorated and stuff. So then, I was likeโ€ฆ

โ€œI want our room painted a peachy red. It will look so great!โ€,

Kath was like:

โ€œI want it blue!โ€,

And yeahโ€ฆ the cold war begins! But in the end, our room was split into the cold side and the warm side. Anyways, I was a little side-tracked there, so back to what was going on!


โ€œWould you ever shut your blabber mouth?!โ€, Kath growled, reaching for her headphones.

โ€œNo, but that dudeโ€™s really wacky and suspicious right?โ€, I smiled, putting on a creepy face to get the mood set. Attempt to make Kath talk to me properly and quit listening to music: FAILED!


โ€œLunch!โ€, mum bellowed from downstairs, I could hear the clatters of cutlery on the table.

โ€œCome on Kath, itโ€™s lunch timeโ€, I groaned, pulling her hand.

For once, Kath took of her headphones and headed downstairs before me! YAY!

I followed Kath downstairs, dragging my feet on the way.


I picked my fork up, ready to dig into the green leafed salad. Well, almostโ€ฆ

DING DONG!

โ€œGo get the door Beth, quickโ€, dad directed, pointing towards the doorway.

โ€œWhy do I always have to get the door!โ€, I whined, dragging my feet.


As soon as I opened the door, two faces popped in. Or two people popped in.

โ€œRichie! Kate!โ€, Mum and dad exclaimed in a chorus. Well dear diary, I havenโ€™t told you but Mr and Mrs Larkins, aka Richie and Kate are our neighbours on the other side of Mr Marlowโ€™s house. We are pretty close friends with them, or at least mum and dad are.


โ€œSo, what brings you guys here today?โ€, mum grinned, signalling them to take a seat at the table.

โ€œItโ€™s Marlowโ€, Kate whispered, lowering her voice slightly.

โ€œWhat about him?โ€, dad groaned munching on his salad.

โ€œWe heard something from insideโ€ฆโ€, Richie said, looking up from his hands.

โ€œLike what?โ€, I asked suspiciously, leaning over the table.

โ€œA voice, like a child screaming and a womanโ€™s voiceโ€, Richie continued.

โ€œWhat? Anything more?โ€, Kath joined in. I didnโ€™t know she was paying any attention.

โ€œThe womenโ€™s voice was like, โ€˜no!โ€™โ€, Richie exclaimed, changing his voice at the woman part.

โ€œI knew something was up with that maniac! He was so nervous talking about his family! We need to find out more!โ€, I said, my voice became serious.


โ€œBut how?โ€, mum asked, looking worried.

Thatโ€™s exactly what Iโ€™m doing now dear diary, peering through the windowsโ€ฆ


Yours with lots of love,

Beth

September 18, 2020 23:12

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42 comments

05:13 Sep 19, 2020

Nice story, SS!! I don't know why but I love calling you SS. Anyways, story was awesome. I can definitely relate to both, Kath and Beth. I'm like Kath during this quarantine, just headphones and laptop but once this quarantine is over, I'll be like Beth again.

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Awww, so sweet of you D. Thank you so much! I can say, I'm both of them. I love to sit down, listen to music, read and write, but I'm also loud, love to dance and engaging. My sister is obviously Beth except she hates dancing and likes to sing instead! Thanks again!

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05:23 Sep 19, 2020

You're welcome!!! I also like to sing instead of dance.

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Avery G.
03:09 Sep 19, 2020

Wow, this was amazing! I loved it, so much! It was so creative! Great job!

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Thank you so much Avery! your story, โ€œFollow Your Dreams (Part Two)โ€ rocks as well!

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Avery G.
03:49 Sep 19, 2020

You're welcome! Thanks so much!!!!

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Amany Sayed
02:47 Sep 20, 2020

Great job! I love the suspicion. I also like how the narrator started going off track from the 'story' and recalling things midway. Reminds me of how I often journal lol. Keep it up and awaiting Pt. 2!

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Thanks Amany! Yeah, I also keep a journal! I write every single thought, description and action so I could recall it in the future. Obviously this story doesn't seem a lot like a diary entry but I tried and that's usually the way I write mine!

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Amany Sayed
02:53 Sep 20, 2020

Good for you man, when I try and keep one my highest streak of days is like...2. And I never remember the good stuff.

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Oh... that's ok! You can practice writing it and I built my memory of the stuff I do every day from meditation and memory games with my lil sis! Besides, I've kept a journal since I was 8 or something!

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Amany Sayed
03:01 Sep 20, 2020

Awesome! Yeah, I started when I was 6, and now I'm 'on and off'

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Awesome job on this SS, I'd love to read a second part. As for an upvoting spree, I'd love to do one!

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Lynn Penny
14:57 Sep 19, 2020

This was really good! I liked the humour you incorporated. I have a suggestion, maybe you could mix diary and conversation. Have sections of diary in italics and then have the conversations in plain text. Might add a bit more flair to the premise of the diary. Keep up the awesome work!

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Thank you so much Lynn. Thanks for the feedback, it's really helpful, especially for a beginner writer like me. I will take this into my future diary writings! ~SS

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Ooh, wow, such an interesting story! I feel like we just got to the interesting part when the story ended...part 2?

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Thank you so much Rainbow! Yeah, I know... the interesting part was the end. It's possible for a part 2! ~SS

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I loved it! Wonderful job! Will there be a part two? -Brooke D.

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I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm not so sure about a part two but it's possible, since points can keep coming in! ~SS

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B. W.
03:14 Sep 19, 2020

I enjoyed this and you did a great job with it ^^ my only advice is that ya should continue to make stories on here whenever you get the chance to do so. so guess what? 10/10

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Thank you so much B.W. It's really motivating! I surely will try to continue to write whenever I get the chance, but since I have school and tests coming up, I don't think I can write much though... But thanks again!

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B. W.
03:43 Sep 19, 2020

No problem ^^ and that's fine

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Woww!! Some nice foreboding but I think you ended it REALLY quickly. Like Aerin said, we just got to the actual climax when you did an unneeded cliffhanger. But other then that it was sooo good!! For the grammatical errors you're just missing some hyphens like: pig like โ† pig-like short tempered โ† short-tempered so called โ† so-called green leafed โ† green-leafed Women's voice should be woman's voice (it's only one) and in that same sentence you wrote 'changing his voice at the woman part.' make that woman to woman's with an apostrop...

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Thanks for your feedback! I would change it if I could! But thanks again Rachel! ~SS

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Oh yeah! You can't change it but it's okay. Just recheck your work. You could install Grammarly, it's really helpful! np, cya!

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Thanks! But isn't grammarly like something you have to pay for, because I'm not allowed to buy stuff.

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Nope it's for free. Well if you want the premium Grammarly where it tells you the tone and stuff then you pay but for spelling and grammatical errors it's free.

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