5 comments

Kids

Hi fellow reedsy‘s (reedsies?). If you want to fully enjoy this story please read a previous story of mine called “Bottle tops” first. It will introduce you nicely to the characters.

Yes that’s right you lucky people....you get two for the price of one!!!!

All feedback very welcome😁





Henry stretched across the bedside table and fumbled for the switch. The bedroom was peaceful, sleepy, touched only by the gentle dawn light awakening outside the house. A small, unruly gang of plastic dinosaurs were sent flying, one of them, a triceratops with one horn missing, landing perfectly in Henry’s Spiderman slipper. He clicked on the light and tiny white stars were thrown across the bedroom ceiling. Henry flopped back onto his pillow with a satisfying thump. He twiddled a lock of his spiraled golden hair and watched. As the bulb in the lamp warmed up, a tiny foil disc began to gently turn, making the stars twinkle and dance around the bedroom. 


Martha sat up with a start, her sky blue eyes bright and wide, twinkled under the stars on the ceiling.

“Henry? Are you awake?” She whispered, rubbing her eyes as they grew accustomed to the tranquil air of the room.

“I can’t sleep Martha……I’m too excited about going to Grandpa’s house today. Mummy says he’s got a telling-scope and we can look at the man in the moon!”

“Oh Henry, you’re so funny, don’t you mean telescope?”

Henry wriggled to face Martha across the bedroom. His sky blue eyes wide and bright, twinkled under the stars on the ceiling.

“That’s what I said Martha……telling-scope…..and guess what Martha, My friend Albert from playschool said that the moon is definitely made from cheese, and he said when he’s older, like twenty, he’s going to buy his own rocket and we can go up there and eat it.”

“Can I come Henry? We’ll still be twins….even when we’re twenty. And cheese is my favourite.”

“We will always be twins Martha and we will always do everything together.”

Martha grinned, laid back and watched the stars dancing around the bedroom. All fell silent, allowing the dawn light to seep in under the curtains, chasing the darkness from every corner, slowly revealing the chaos of the room. A soft fluffy white unicorn, its mane matted with glue and glitter, poked its head out from beneath Martha’s duvet. Pretty pink fairies skipped and danced on the wallpaper around her bed changing abruptly halfway round the room, where menacing dinosaurs with sharp teeth took over and peered down on Henry as he slept. On the rainbow rug a battalion of small fluffy creatures of whites and pinks stood defiantly facing a squad of hungry looking plastic dinosaurs, who’s missing limbs and heads could be found under every bush and tree in the garden, a few of which spun helplessly round inside the clear plastic drum every time Mummy hoovered. Sheets of paper with crayon drawings of a small ugly creature with a round tummy covered in black hair were carelessly scattered. Some of them stuck to the walls with big lumps of blue tack. 

“Guess what Henry, my friend Ruby at playschool said that her brother told her that space is made from a milky way. We have milky ways in our treat tin in the cupboard that we can’t reach in the kitchen…..I love them. I think they’re my favourite kind of chocolate. So if we go to the moon in Albert’s rocket we can eat cheese and chocolate….can my friend Ruby come to the moon with us Henry?”

Henry stared, mesmerised by the stars above him, he pulled at his finger which he’d twisted into a knot in his hair.

“I guess it depends on how big Albert’s rocket is Martha. I’m sure it will be enormous so Ruby can come as well.”

Henry sat up and looked across at Martha.

“Martha!”

“Yes Henry.” Martha said yawning.

“I’m Hungry……and I think I want Cheese and chocolate…..Do you think if we creep really quietly past Mummy and Daddy’s bedroom we could sneak down to the kitchen and get some cheese and chocolate?”

“Henry!” Martha gasped. “That would be really naughty of us to do that. Mummy and Daddy would not be proud of us. They would be cross with us if we woke them up so early.”

“That’s what I said Martha….if we creep really quietly we won’t wake them up, we can get the cheese and chocolate and come back to bed…they won’t even know we’ve done it!”

Martha scratched her chin and pretended to think…..

“I’ve got an idea Henry. What we need to do is sneak past Mummy and Daddy’s bedroom really quietly so we don’t wake them up. We can get the cheese and chocolate and eat it in our bedroom. Then they won’t find out. Then we won’t get told off!”

Henry hesitated while he processed what Martha said.

“Good idea Martha…….lets go.”

Henry kicked off his duvet and pulled on his Spiderman dressing gown, he shook the triceratops from his slipper and put them on. Martha struggled into her pink fluffy dressing gown and stood straight into her fairy slippers which were neatly placed by her bed.

“Wait a minute Henry…..” She whispered. “I need my wings!” She pulled the duvet from the bed and felt around in the semi darkness.

“Got them!” she said, wriggling them on. “Right Henry Chambers lets go, are you ready?”

Henry was already out of the bedroom door and creeping along the hallway towards the stairs. By the time Martha caught up to him, Henry had stopped outside Mummy and Daddy’s bedroom. In the darkness, Martha piled in to the back of him making them land in a tangled heap of Spiderman and fairies. The door was open a little. They laid still, listening, Henry pushed Martha’s wings out of his face and held his breath. After a few seconds Martha spoke.

“It’s ok Henry I can hear them both snoring……Did you know that they snore louder after they’ve drunk beer and wine…..why is that Henry?”

Henry shrugged his shoulders dramatically. And put his finger to his lips.

“Ssssshhhhh…..lets go…I’m really hungry now.”

Holding each other tightly they shuffled past the bedroom door and slid down the stairs on their bums. Which proved to be the quietest and fastest way down. They stood, their faces bathed in the soft light from the open fridge.

“Look Henry, Mummy has made us packed lunches for today when we go to Grandpa’s.”

She reached in and grabbed the pink glittery lunchbox, clicking it open.

 “They have cheese in them….and….look…a milky way!”

Henry smiled and opened his lunchbox. He put his face inside and took a big sniff……

“Should we just sit here and eat them Martha? I’m so hungry.”

“No Henry….Lets take them back to our bedroom so we can look at the stars again.”

Holding hands and hugging their lunchboxes against their chests they crept quietly up the stairs and silently past the open bedroom door. They stopped briefly to listen to the snoring again then quietly closed the door to their bedroom.

“Well done Henry, my idea worked…I’m so clever!”

They sat on their beds rustling the foil wrapped food in their lunchboxes. Martha paused for a moment and watched the stars twinkling above her head.

“I know it’s really old Henry….but I can’t wait to be twenty years old, so we can go to the moon in Albert’s rocket and eat cheese and milky way for real…..it’s my favourite.”

Henry laid back on his pillow and stretched out with a big smile on his face, he stared at the stars above him and yawned.

“Me too Martha, me too.”






July 20, 2020 16:42

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5 comments

Beth Connor
22:27 Feb 10, 2021

Lovely job! I have to disagree with the below commenter. For me there was a sense of magic in the mundane- perhaps it is all subjective. I could see my own children (who are now 16 and 18) in the twins, and remember a time when sneaking food from the fridge was a huge adventure. While this seems to be a heartwarming story to capture my own memories, I could certainly see this as a children's book as well (the art showing the moon and the milky way would be cute) As for grammatical stuff- all I noticed on this and Bottle Tops were a ...

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Phil Manders
15:00 Feb 11, 2021

Hi Beth Once again thanks for reading, nice to know there's someone out there!

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Beth Connor
17:35 Feb 11, 2021

I agree with that!

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Pamela Berglund
23:14 Jul 29, 2020

This is a good childrens story, and you followed the guidelines of the prompt; looking up at the stars in the beginning and the end. But as a reader, I was not grabbed by the story. Nothing excited me. There wad no plot, just two kids waking up in the middle of the night, invading the refrigerator. The other problem I had was you had alot of run on sentences. While it is important to use descriptive words and adverbs you used too many. There were also repetitive sentences; waking mummy and daddy, neaking down the stairs and describi...

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Phil Manders
07:11 Jul 30, 2020

Hi Pamela Thanks for taking the time to read my story. I appreciate you’re feedback. I was trying to write in a simplistic way to represent the perspective of a four year old....it’s harder than I thought it would be! I wonder if you had the chance to read my other story Bottle tops? It’s a similar theme but I think it was a better attempt. I would be really interested in your feed back on that and any of my other stories if you get the chance. Thanks again Phil

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