Willful Change

I, Edward Barnaby, III, a legal adult, being of competent and sound mind, do hereby declare this to be my last will and testament…

I’ve done some difficult things in my life, but this is the most difficult. I completed my Will a few years back, but with my newfound determination, I am making a few changes. The choices I’ve made concerning my estate are logical and fair but will be shocking. The great thing about my Will’s reading is that I won’t be around to hear it and see the reactions. Ha! Maybe, on my way to Hell, I can stop by the lawyer’s office and have one last laugh before an eternity of suffering. 

I am well aware that I am headed for Hell. I have never doubted for a minute that I had a chance of getting into Heaven. My life has been easy, and I have led a life absent of troubles. I have caused problems for others but, my life has been rosy. Let’s just say that money makes anything problematic go away. It wasn’t until my second heart attack that my eyes opened to see passed my existence. I bounced back fairly quickly after the first attack. I believe the doctor called it a mild cardiac infarction. I changed a few things in my diet and added exercise, and everything was right as rain again.

I was unfazed by the lack of visitors. I guess I was used to being alone since Grace passed on. After her funeral, I threw myself into my work. Our friends thought it was best to leave me to my work. Again, unfazed. After the second attack, this one not carrying the word ‘mild,’ I expected my children to make an appearance. But, I’m afraid It was my fault they didn’t show up in my hour of need. I have always made sure they had everything they wanted, so they had no reason to feel empathy, need, concern for anything. Once they were adults, I told Grace that we’d spoiled them, but it was too late to rectify what we’ve done. Grace took the guilt to her grave, and up until now, I was headed down the same road. I will enter Hell, knowing that I made one last attempt to cut the cord and stop the spoiling. Grace, I promised you that I would do everything in my power to make our children better human beings, and I will, hopefully. 

I gave our son Lewis a job at my company. He’s kept the job for the last six months and has met all probational deadlines for nine months. I call that a win. Little Sarah is married but still expects an allowance. I’ve cut back but haven’t cut her off. John, Sarah’s husband, has a great head on his shoulders, but their lifestyle is well outside of their means. I have enabled them, but no more. I hope they understand why I’ve done what I’ve done. 

I’ve now had a stroke. I’ve lost my ability to speak but have found that writing everything down helps with mental clarity. It’s been two months since the stroke. The doctors don’t think I have much time left. The stroke has taken the power of speech but has given me the ability to see who deserves inclusion into my Will. I had my assistant, Daniel, call the children to see me, and the response was of selfish need and ultimatums I refuse to fulfill. Daniel’s regretful facial expression was all I needed to know their answer. Again, it is my fault that they show disrespect towards me. I have spent their lives ignoring them but throwing money in their directions to gain their attention. They expect money and material items in exchange for empathy. It’s hard to fathom that this is the very life that I led. My parents threw money at me and ignored my emotional needs until I no longer felt emotions. I didn’t even attend their funerals. I was in Belize on holiday when my mother passed and Australia when my father died. I didn’t come home for a final goodbye, and my children will do the same as I had done. I destroyed their emotional health just as I had gotten rid of all my other problems. I used to blame my parents for how my children turned out, but now I know better. I let money parent my children and money put me where I am today.

I woke up this morning with the feeling of impending doom. It feels like today’s the day I meet my maker. My assistant called my lawyer, who is now on his way over to legalize my new Will. My housekeeper, Mary, sat with me and told me the latest about her grandchildren, filling me with the joy I denied myself with my children. My chef, Marko, made my favorite, beef wellington, for lunch. He always knows when I need a pick me up.

The doorbell rings as I make the final touches to the Will. I know that Jerry will read the Will before I sign. I also know that he will give me a look that will say, Are you sure? And I will nod and sign the document. We’ve done this dance many times over thirty years. I make risky business deals. He tries to talk me out of them without talking me out of them and in the end, everything works out. He and I work well together. I’ll miss him dearly.

Jerry enters my suite wearing his signature slate grey suit and navy blue tie. He’s carrying his fading brown leather briefcase and a mournful smile. I smile at him, albeit lopsided and incomplete and motion for him to sit in the chair beside my recliner. 

“Edward, How are you fairing today?” I hold up my hand, palm side down, swaying it side to side. “Ah. So you have updated your Will.” It was a statement since I’m sure Daniel told him the purpose of his expedited visit. Jerry is always straight to business, and I appreciate him for it. I pick up the folder housing my new Will from the side pocket of my chair and present it to Jerry. He takes it out of my hand, with the care he would show to an infant. He opens the folder and begins reading. 

I peer at his face, looking for his reactions, the same that will play across the faces of those who will attend the reading. His face is stone, causing me to grab my notepad to write to him. 

Jerry closes the folder once he’s finished reading and places the folder on the table in front of me. He leans in, “Are you sure, Edward?” I slide the notepad closer to my body to write. I hold it up and nod vigorously. The note reads, Hell, yes! 

Jerry stands, opens the folder, and shifts the papers around, before pushing the signature pages towards me. I sign my name and look back at my shaky signature. It is done. He grabs his leather briefcase and opens it with two clicks. Jerry places my Will on the top of other documents and closes it. My Will will lay in the darkness until it is read, giving it life. I will lie in darkness for eternity yet, I am ready to exit this life.

Jerry and I make small talk for a few minutes. It was more like he talked and I listened, nodding, shaking my head, or giving hand gestures when necessary. His visit exhausted me. As he made his way out of the suite, I felt a pain rise in my chest and flow down my left arm. I made no sound or movement for help. I listened to Jerry retreat as my breaths became more difficult and further apart. I closed my eyes and accepted my fate.

***

Jerry sits behind his desk, holding the papers that Edward had signed just a few weeks ago. In front of him is a mix of the people in Edward’s life, all with a mixture of confusion, excitement, and worry crossing their faces.  Sarah and John stand in the back corner, salivating over the prospect of what they may inherit while Lewis sits, picking at his nails, darting his eyes around at the other people in the room. Jerry is sure that most of the people in the room are strangers to the Barnaby children. Sitting directly in front of Jerry’s desk, with utter confusion written on their faces, are Daniel, Marko, and Mary. He arranged the seating as he knew who would need to clearly understand the content of the Will. Jerry silently curses Edward for making such a request and leaving the notification part for him to carry out. The family was aware of the content of the first Will but they are in for a shock. A trickle of sweat slowly makes its way to Jerry’s left temple. He takes a handkerchief from the breast pocket and dabs it before clearing his throat.

“Thank you all for coming. First, let me say that I am sorry for your loss. Now down to business. This is the reading of Edward Barnaby the third’s Will.” 

Jerry pauses and swallows audibly. “As you may be aware, I had visited Mr. Barnaby on the day of his departure. It wasn’t a social call. I witnessed the signing of a new Will and that is the document I will be reading to you today.” 

As suspected, Sarah and John both shout out in protest. Jerry presses the call button on his office phone, signaling his secretary to have security staged at the office door. He lifts his hands to silence the room. Sarah carries on in the back of the room but in the interest of getting this over with, Jerry continues, “As I am the executor and guarantor of Edward Barnaby, the third’s Will, I am in charge of ensuring the stipulations outlined are carried out.” Jerry wipes more sweat droplets from his brow.“I will just get to the point. ‘I devise and bequeath my property, both real and personal, as follows:” 

Jerry looks up from the document and gestures to Daniel. “To Daniel Rathherd. I leave you one million dollars and ten percent ownership of my company. You’ve worked hard over the years, I’ve noticed. Also, you deserve some time off. Take a vacation on me.” Daniel gasps, covering his mouth with his hands. Tears gather in the corners of his eyes and threaten to fall. 

Jerry turns his gaze to Mary. Feeling his eyes on her, Mary perks up. “To Mary Beth Winters, I leave my primary residence, paid in full, and one million dollars. Please make the house a home and fill it with all the things that it has been missing. Or sell it! I just want to see that you have time and a place for your family.” Jerry looks up at Mary, who is crying and bowing with her hands in prayer saying thank you repeatedly. 

Jerry smiles at the happiness he has witnessed so far. He looks to Marko, lifts his eyebrows, and tilts his head. Marko nods, grasping the arms of the chairs turning his knuckles white. “To Marko Salamander, I leave you seven million dollars. You’ve talked about opening a restaurant and now’s the time to follow your dream.” Jerry looks up, hoping to see more joy in the room. Marko’s eyes are wide and unmoving. Suddenly, his skin goes white and he sinks into the chair. Mary consoles him as he shouts and cries loudly. Jerry pulls out a box of tissues and offers them to Mary. Just when Jerry thinks he will need to call an ambulance, Marko stands up and paces the room, whispering to himself.

“Is that it?”

The commotion stops. Everyone turns towards Sarah, who is a deep shade of red and breathing quickly. “I have dreams too. Did the old bastard leave his children anything?”

Jerry looks back at the document. There was more but he knew that the joyful portion of the meeting was over. He looks at Lewis, who appears as though he is ready to jump right out of the window. “Lewis, your father admired your hard work very much. Your father has left you enough money that will sustain you for the rest of your life but he has written you this letter that is to be read by you and the instructions are to be followed to a tee. Any deviation will result in the loss of your inheritance.” Jerry pulls out the letter and hands it to Lewis, who accepts it as if it was a foreign object. He holds the letter but doesn’t open it. “Lewis, understand that I also have a copy of your letter and will make sure Mr. Barnaby’s wishes are carried out.” 

Jerry leaves Lewis to his thoughts. He is now approaching what he knows will be the most difficult part. The original WIll would have satisfied Sarah’s greed but she will not be happy in a few moments. “Sarah, I leave one million dollars per child you produce, to be given at their eighteenth birthday. You have gotten plenty of your inheritance while I was alive. I would like to preserve the rest of the money for the next generation. John is an executive with my company and is well equipped to provide for you.” Sarah lets out a howl. She drops to her knees and cries. John picks her up and they both turn to walk out the room.

Jerry stands, “Hold on. Edward had some final words he’d like you all to hear.” The movement in the room stops so Jerry continues, “I know that you all aren’t happy with me right now-- well some of you probably wish I were there so that you could give me a kiss.” Mary, Marko, and Daniel laugh, Lewis stares blankly ahead and Sarah crosses her arms over her chest.

“I was a shitty person when I was alive. I let money ruin my life and I didn’t pay enough attention to what was important and standing right in front of me. For that, I apologize. I did what I thought was best for my family: make money and make sure you wanted for nothing. That was a mistake. Being denied speech towards the end helped me to realize that a little suffering does wonders for the soul. I knew I was going to hell for the sins that span my lifetime but I wanted to make one last effort to keep my kids from meeting me here. By denying you easy money, I hope that you will look at yourselves and be better people. Lewis, you are on the right track, read my letter, and follow it. I believe it will send you down the right path.” Recognition crosses Lewis’s face and for the first time during the meeting, he is present in the room.

“Sarah, unfold your arms,” She slowly lowers her arms. “You are intelligent and you married an intelligent man. You never needed my money to live. Look at the life you have and live it. Trust me, money doesn’t make you happy. I wanted you, kids, by my side, not my money. I would have given it all up for another chance at being a dad to you two. Figure out your passions in life and go for it. There’s a letter for you as well but you will not receive it until Jerry deems you are ready for it.

“I gave money to my trusted employees because where I had too much, they had too little. Everyone desires to follow their hearts and dreams. Money makes that possible but I must say the distribution of it is grossly unbalanced. When you have it all, you don’t think about what it means to not have enough. Mary, Marko, Daniel, now is your chance to do something outside of what you’ve known. But like I’ve said to the children, money doesn’t make you happy. Somehow, I think you’ve learned that lesson already. I wish I would have thought to learn from you before the end but I am glad to have gotten some knowledge. Farewell, my friends, and my family. It was nice to have known you.”

Jerry looks to every face in the room. Although Sarah’s anger had cooled, it was evident that the fight wasn’t over. “Thank you all for coming. There is a copy of the Will for you all with Kara on your way out.” After they are all gone, Jerry opens his right bottom drawer and pulls out a letter addressed to him. He places it on his desk and takes a deep breath, “Are you sure about this, Edward?” Jerry looks around the room before his gaze lands upon the letter. The room remains silent.