Matching Lockers

Her body thrashing around, Gianna struggled to keep afloat. This cannot be it. This can’t be where my life ends. Taking a deep breath, she dove down to free her ankle from the rock it was stuck underneath. The water was so foggy, so dark, she had to trust her hands and trust nothing was down in that water with her. After struggling for what felt like eternity, she heard a little pop and her ankle broke free from the rock. She yelped out in pain and water filled her lungs.

“That’s the last thing I remember”, I said to the detective.

“How could you possibly have ingested all of that water and still be standing here telling me this story?”, he replied.

“I’d like to know that just as much as you”.

“And you’re sure you were just out there, all by yourself?”, he questioned again.

“Yes”

“Alright Ms. Summers that’s all we need from you today. Thank you.”

I still don’t understand why I’m being questioned by the police. It was a near drowning experience, and it was just me, there’s no reason for them to be involved. “Just protocol” they said. This past week has been so much, I’m choosing not to even care. I don’t believe them, but I don’t have the energy or strength to care.

The next morning I wake up to the sun peeking through my velvet curtains. 

“Mom!”

“Yes honey?”

“What time is it?”

“7:15”

“Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“Honey you’ve been through a lot, maybe you should stay home from school today”

“No mom, I need to go”

I jump out of bed and catch a glimpse of my hair in the mirror. I immediately put it up in a ponytail and throw on a pair of mom jeans and a white tank top.

As I’m leaving my room I look above my bed at my polaroid wall and notice something seems different. It’s almost 7:30 by that time, so I don’t have much time to think about that.

I arrive at school just in time for the late bell and sigh in relief. I talk to my friends in the hallway just like normal, but everyone is looking at me with the same looks of pity. I may have a cast on my leg, but it’s not THAT big of a deal.

After homeroom I start off to my next class when a group of my friends stops me and tells me to go a different way with them.

“Guys, we aren’t even going to the same class”, I say.

“We know, we just want to make sure you're ok”, my friend Clare responds.

I shrug and go with them, putting up a fight wouldn’t do anything.

The rest of the day it’s like I’m the president being escorted around by the secret service. Someone is with me all of the time and I can’t have a minute alone.

Things stayed like that for the next few days and then, on the following Tuesday, I realized one hallway no one has let me go down. It was the fastest route to almost all of my classes and everyone tenses up when I try to go over there. During Math, I ask to go to the bathroom and I walk towards that hallway. I go to turn the corner and Clare stops me. 

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing, I just needed to clear my head.”

“Well, lets go this way”

I go but not before I see the reflection of candlelight on the floor. What’s going on? I wonder.

I didn’t try anything for a little while, but after that incident, the detectives keep coming over everyday after school to see if I remember anything new about the accident. I don’t know why they care so much. 

After the questioning is over, I finish my homework and sit down for dinner with my parents.

They ask the normal “how was your day” and “anything new at school” questions, but I just couldn’t think straight. We sit in silence when I finally ask, “why do the police care?”

My parents brush it off and say it’s just protocol. I nod my head and keep eating.

After we’ve finished, I go up to my room and just lay on my bed in the dark. I can’t stop thinking about the police, the candlelight, the hallway, the missing pictures on my wall. It’s like the explanation is on the tip of my tongue, but I just don’t know.

Eventually I fall into a deep sleep and don’t think anymore of it.

The next day in math class, the topic of boats comes up. Touchy subject. It’s been a week, people have moved on. We’re listening to a presentation and watching the slideshow when a picture of a familiar boat comes up. My head suddenly feels overcrowded and the memories come rushing back.

I fall to the ground as the memories flash in my head. The boat. Going out on the water. It was a date. A date with my boyfriend Dean. We were messing around when the storm started. The boat tipped. Where is Dean?

I stood up and ran out of the classroom. My friends were yelling and chasing me through the hall and not to turn the corner, but it was too late. I saw the candlelight. The flowers. The pictures, the random, little chotchkies right under a locker. I stepped up closer and saw pictures with me in them. Him and I. Our whole relationship flashed in my head just like the night of the accident had just minutes prior. I fell to the ground once again, but this time sobbing. The sadness consumed me. How could I forget him? How could I forget everything? The pain was too much. I ran out of the school and home to my parents.

Bursting through the door, I sobbed to my parents about how I remembered. Someone must have called them because a doctor and the detective were at our house by the time I got there. 

“That’s why you kept asking me those questions. Because he’s dead”, I screamed at the detective.

I gasped for breath and all I could get out was, “how could I forget him?”

The doctor sat me down and told me it was a trauma response. They didn’t know how long it would take for me to regain my memories, but it would happen eventually. Something was bound to trigger it.

I cried in my moms arms for hours until there were no tears left. I eventually went upstairs, but I couldn’t sleep. The pain was overwhelming. My ankle was pretty much healed at this point, I can’t put all of my body weight on it, but enough to get out.

I snuck out of the house and up to this hill overlooking the ocean. We always used to come here and watch the stars. 

“I’m so sorry I forgot you. I’m sorry I didn’t help.”

The pain was just too much. I inched up closer to the edge, peering over and looking down into the rocky shore below me. I looked up at the sky one last time.

“Our lockers can be matching”

The stars were the last thing I saw.