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Drama Mystery

My name is Hanna Denor. I think.

I'm 16. When I was eight, I got in a bad accident at the mall, and forgot everything. I was lost, and my parents never looked for me. Mall security found me, and I cried when I couldn't answer their questions.

I was taken to the hospital, and tested. I was scared out of my mind, and after a couple of days they brought me to a foster family.

My parents never looked for me, and nobody knew who I was, so I was named Hanna, and adopted by the Denor's.

They keep saying my memory will probaly come back, but it hasn't yet. I don't know if I want it to.

I look nothing like any of them. They all have dark brown skin, and frizzy black hair. I have light skin, and long blonde white hair. I have five sibilings, Harold, who is 4, Harry, who is 8, Hillary and Helen, who are 10, and Hunter, who is 16, too.

We live in a big house, and we all have our own rooms, But Hunter moved into an apartment with his friends. We go to the same school, which is where we're going now. It's close enough for us to walk everyday.

We walk with Duke and Abe, the friends he moved in with. Duke has olive skin, and brown hair tied back with a bandana. Abe has light brown skin, and short dreads. I've been in love with Duke since I was ten, and he let me play soccer with him, Abe, and Hunter. He asked me out two years ago, and we've been dating since.

For some reason, my head has been hurting ever since breakfast. I didn't tell my mom, since she was already trying to finish feeding Harold friut with his bacon and waffles.

"Did you finish the homework for science?" Abe asks. We all nod. "Can I see it?" He asks. He hates school, but has to keep his grade up to stay on the football team.

I'm walking beside Duke, are hands intertwined.

No, Abe." Hunter says. "You'll never learn anything."

Duke agrees, and when Abe glances back at me, I roll my eyes. "Fine, later." I mouth. He grins.

"So, Hunter..." Duke starts, smiling. "How's it going with Laura?"

Hunter groans, and covers his face.

Laura is his new girlfriend. They met on a blind date, and made out for an hour. Not everyone would be good for Hunter, but she is.

"It's fine." He finally says when we're in front of the school. We all laugh. We go inside, and I wave, and go to meet my friend, Qulie.

We share a locker, so I wait until she gets there.

Q is an awesome friend. She always has great advice, and is always honest with me. She's really outgoing, and brave, and kind. She's on the cheerleading team, debate team, and the art club. She has blonde hair with different color streaks in it. She's really emotional, and always upset or excited.

"Hanna!" She says loudly. I turn around. She looks upset.

I smile. "What's up?" I ask.

"I broke up with David!" She cries.

Jeez. "You guys break up every week."

"But what if it's serious this time?" She asks.

"I don't think it is. Also, don't cry. You'll ruin your makeup." I say.

She stops crying, and starts talking about the dance. Her attention span is incredibly short.

"You're going, right?" She asks suddenly.

I shrug. "If Duke asks me." For some reason, our school dance is always on a Saturday.

"He better. I'm not going alone." She says.

I raise an eyebrow. "You'll be with David."

"Well, David isn't my best friend." She huffs.

I laugh, and we go to our first class. My head still hurts, but by lunch it's a dull throb.

"Guess what?" Q squels when I sit down. We don't usually sit in the cafeteria, we sit outside, but it's raining today. "I got back together with David! And he asked me to the dance!"

She babbles on and on about school, eating her chicken and waffles. I pick at my hmemade sandwich.

I nod, but I'm not listening. My head hurts even more. I close my eyes, and press the heels of my hands to my forehead.

"Are you ok?" Q asks quietly.

I nod. What is happening?

Suddenly I remember something. It's a woman, she looks just like me, just older. She's wearing an apron, and mixing a bowl of something. Is that...my birth mother?

"Charity." I hear a soft voice say."Wash your hands if you want to eat. We're having-"

I feel a hand on my shouder, and gasp. My eyes open, and I look up. Hunter, Abe and Duke are here, and they look concerned.

"Are you okay?" Hunter asks.

I shake my head. "My memory..." I say softly. "I think it's coming back."

🤯

I don't remember anything else that day, and I stay at school, dispite Hunter's concerns and protests.

When I get home, I lay on my bed, and grab my sketchbook. I draw the woman the best I can. Could that be my birth mom? If so, why did I remember her, now?

I tack the picture on the wall by my desk. My dad calls me, so I walk downstairs to his study.

"Hey, dad." I say as I walk in.

He looks up, and smiles. "Hey. Your brother said something about you not feeling good today?"

Of course he did. "No, I'm okay. Just a headache."

"If you're sure." He says. "How was school?"

We talk for a while, until he gets a phone call, and I leave.

"Will you warm up dinner?" He asks me as I leave.

I nod, and go to the kitchen. I open the refrigerator, and dig around looking for the leftover rice and chicken. I bring it to the counter, and it happens again.


This time, there's a man with the woman. He has brown hair, light skin, and black glasses. They're arguing in a living room. A plate of food is infront of me, but I'm not eating.

"Please!" She says. "You can't leave. Not now. I can't raise her on my own."

The man shakes his head and picks up a suitcase. "I have to, Baby. She's five. You've got it. And I'll be back."

She drops to her knees and buries her head in her hands. "Please don't go." She whispers.

"I have to, Ci." He kisses her forehead, then comes to me, and kisses mine too. "I love you, Charity." He says.

Then he turns, and walks out.

I can hear a car starting as I walk to the woman. I wrap my arms around her as she sobs. She pulls me into her arms, and cries.


"Hanna!" A voice says loudly. My eyes pop open, and I stumble backwards. Hunter is shaking my arm. When he sees my eyes open, he hugs me.

"Don't do that again." He says.

I draw a shaky breath. "I don't know what's happening."

"What was it this time?" He asks.

We sit at the table, and I explain what I saw. He looks confused.

"And you don't know what's causing it?" He asks.

I shake my head. "No. And please don't tell mom and dad."

"Why not?" He says. I know he wants to.

I bite my lip. "I don't want to remember. They'll take me to the hospital, and-" My voice breaks. I've hated hospitals since I was eight. Hunter knows that.

He sighs. "Alright. But if it keeps happening, then we'll have to tell them, okay?"

I nod. "Okay."

🤯

A week goes by, and it only happens once.

I'm at the diner, on a date with Duke. We ordered the food, and we're talking until the waiter got there. A waitress with two big platters of pancakes, waffles, bacon, eggs, and syrup passes us, and drops the food. I'm reaching to help her clean it up, but and that's when it happens.


There was a knock at the door. The woman got up from the table, and went to the door. I crept around the corner to listen.

A police officer was standing there, with his hat in his hands. He spoke softly, and I couldn't hear. The woman started crying. He contined to talk, but it just made her cry harder. Finally, he handed her something, and left.

She shut the door, and fell to the ground. I ran over, and she hugged me tight.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered. I was the only one ther, but I knew she wasn't talking to me. "I'm sorry."

She cried until she couldn't anymore. She got up, and walked to her room. She had left something behind. I picked it up. It was a hat. It looked like one I had seen military people wear.


"Hanna." I hear Duke say.

My eyes widen. "Oh my god."

"What was it this time?" He asks.

I tell him what happened. Our food gets here, and we eat while I explian. His eyes are wide too.

"So if that was your dad..." He starts.

I nod. "He's probaly dead."

🤯

It's the day of the dance. Q and I are getting ready in my room.

It's not a super formal dance, so I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Q, however, is chosing to wear a pink dress and heels.

We go downstairs, and watch T.V. until 4:45. The dance starts at five, and Q wanted to be early.

I'm driving my car, and she's in hers. I'm stopping by florist to get flowers for Duke.

I'm stopping at a red light, when it happens again.


I'm inside of a the mall, trying to follow the woman. We're walking through a crowd of people, but I lost her hand.

She's too far ahead, and I'm too short to see over anyone. Suddenly, a bag swings, and hits my forehead. I fall back, slamming my head aganist the ground. Then everything is black.


I hear a loud honk, and I immediatly forward. Then everything goes black.

🤯

"Hanna?" I hear. I blink my eyes open, and wince at the bright light above me.

I hear someone start talking, but I'm not listening. I look around, and see dad, mom, Hunter, Duke, Q, and Abe listening to who I think is a docter. Duke smiles at me, and I can see his eyes are red. Everybodies are. Were they crying? What happened?

When the docter leaves, everyone turns towards me. Q and my mom start bawling, my dad and Abe are trying not to cry, and Duke and Hunter come over.

"What happened?" I ask, sitting up.

They explain that I was in a car crash. A taxi driver ran a red light, and hit my car. The driver died, and another woman was injured as well. I broke my leg, and that's it.

"It happened again." I tell them. Hunter suddenly looks very guilty.

"You told them, didn't you?"

He nods. "I had to!"

"It's okay." I assure him.

Duke laces his fingers through mine. "What was it?"

I tell them. By the time I'm done, everyone else is listening, too.

"Why didn't you tell us?" My mom asks.

I shrug. "I didn't want you to worry."

"You should have told us." My dad says.

I nod. "I know."

I glance at Duke. He's biting his lip, and tapping his fingers on his knees. He does that when he's thinking about something.

"What is it?" I ask him.

He's quiet for a second. "I'm trying to figure out what's making it happen."

"What?"

"The docter said something is probaly triggering your memory. I'm trying to figure out what it is."

"When did it first happen?" My dad asks.

I bite my lip. "About a week ago. At lunch the day Hunter told you I wasn't feeling good. But my head started hurting at breakfast."

"When was the next time?" Duke asks.

"Um, after I talked to my dad. I was in the kitchen at the counter." I tell him.

He nods. "Then at the diner....Where were you when it happened the last time?"

"At the stoplight by that new breakfast place." I reply.

He taps his fingers faster, then his eyebrows pop up.

"I think I know what it was." He says.

We all look at him.

"I think it was a smell. The smell of waffles." He explains. They look confused, but get it.

"Oh my god," I say. "Could it be?"

"Wait," Abe interupts. "How could it be waffles?"

"We rarely ever have waffles. We had them for breakfast that first morning, but I didn't get to eat. I just passed through the kitchen." I explain.

My mom nods. "And the leftovers were on the counter."

"And I had them for lunch that day." Q says.

"And at the diner, a waitress dropped platters of food, and she had waffles with her." Duke continues.

Hunter's eyes widen. "And the new breakfast place is mostly serving waffles."

We're all quiet. The docter knocks, and pushes the door open. My dad explains what Duke figured out. I'm listening, because I'm suddenly really tired.

I slowly drift off to sleep.

🤯

A month later, I walk up the driveway of my birth mother's house. I decided I wanted to meet her. We tracked her down, and found the house. All of my memories are back, and I remember her much better.

I wanted to do this myself, so Hunter dropped me off.

I knock on the door, and fiddle with my braclet as I wait. The door opens, and I gasp.

There she is. She looks much older, but still a lot like me.

We stare at each other until I find my voice.

"Mom?"


Authors note: I know that's probaly not how amenisia works, but that's how it works here. I'm not trying to offend anyone. I hope you enjoyed it! Comment if you want a part 2!

September 25, 2020 18:51

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17 comments

Mustang Patty
10:47 Oct 03, 2020

Hi there, Michael, Wow - this was a great story. It really doesn't matter how amnesia works in real life - your story was about this little girl. I enjoyed the story, but couldn't help but stumble over a few things - for instance, 'They keep saying my memory will probaly come back, but it hasn't yet. I don't know if I want it to.' The misspelling of 'probably,' stopped the flow of your readers, and then I came across some others, along with errors in syntax and punctuation. I hope you don't mind, but I'd like to give you some advice...

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Chloe McLellan
12:55 Jun 09, 2021

The only critic I have is that I noticed that in all your writings you spell probably wrong. You should totally make a part 2 that would be so awesome. Maybe do it in the mother's perspective so she can tell us why she left the Hanna. Great job though this was great.

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Ari Berri
00:25 Jun 25, 2021

These first stories were terrible, but thank you for the critique.

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Chloe McLellan
19:41 Aug 31, 2021

No they aren't. I think all of your stories are good. My stories are worse than yours so your good. Your welcome.

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Ari Berri
01:52 Sep 03, 2021

Aw, thanks. It just takes practice.

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14:02 Mar 18, 2021

Cool way for memory loss to work, like, seriously, waffles XD There were some typos, but seriously, i hate to talk grammar after reading a good story XD Awesome read! Happy Today!

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Ari Berri
17:53 Mar 18, 2021

Thank you. I don't like this one much, but thanks for the compliment!

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Beverly Riddle
18:48 Dec 08, 2020

Great job!

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Ari Berri
18:50 Dec 08, 2020

Thank you!

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Philip Clayberg
18:30 Nov 14, 2020

Interesting story. Thank you for writing it. Memories (loss, recovery, and difficulty accessing them) don't work the same way for everyone. From my own experience, I remember for two reasons: either something positive that left a strong impressions, or something negative that left a strong impression. However, I don't always remember everything all the time. There can be a memory (or something I've read, something I've listened to, somewhere I've been) that feels almost within reach, but I can't get at it. It needs to have the right...

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Ari Berri
18:35 Nov 14, 2020

Thank you!

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Cathy Dalton
18:39 Oct 14, 2020

Loved the story and, yes, please do continue.

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Ari Berri
18:50 Oct 14, 2020

I'll try to, I've got to find a good prompt.

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Ray Dyer
00:25 Oct 07, 2020

Mustang Patty gave some excellent advice in the comment below, all of which will serve to improve what you do next. If you write a part 2, I have to admit that the story behind this one has piqued my interest. I want to see how this progresses! One thing that has become very clear to me is that one week is plenty of time to write a story, but it's a tight timeline to revise and refine it. Reading your story out loud is an excellent way to catch missing words and increase that "polished" feeling on your story. I'll be back next week to ...

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Ari Berri
00:43 Oct 07, 2020

Thank you so much for the feedback. I'll try to find a prompt for part 2. I'm working on making sure I correct it better. Thanks again!

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Unknown User
15:16 Mar 24, 2021

<removed by user>

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Ari Berri
15:17 Mar 24, 2021

Thanks! I don't like this one much, but thanks for this!

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