Thanksgiving Memories

Four more days. Amy sighed as she looked at the calendar.  She dreaded Thanksgiving at Grandma's this year. Everyone knew that before they were allowed to eat, Grandma would make them circle up and tell everyone what they were thankful for.  Thankful…. that was a word that Amy hadn’t been in awhile.  

She wondered what the responses would entail. Would anyone say they were thankful for all of the secrets that 2019 held? The police involvement? The domestic disputes? The drunken fits? Would anyone talk of that? Or how about the fact that they had been lying to Grandpa and Grandma for most of the year? Yeah, none of that would probably come out in the thankful circle.  

She had to figure out a way to get out of going. She could tell them she had to work, but they would know she already had the day off. She could tell them she was sick, but then her mom and grandma would be at her house trying to convince her to go to the doctor.  She knew she had to go, and there was no way to get out of it. Besides, she was so tired of covering things up and pretending things were fine when they most certainly were not.  

The next few days went by slowly.  Amy did her shopping and cleaned her house, and tried to focus on anything that would keep her mind occupied instead of thinking about spending Thursday with her brother.  

2019 was rough to say the least.  Amy’s brother had single-handedly caused more family chaos in seven months than he had caused in all of his twenty-seven years.  Mark had always been the wild child. The youngest of four, her parents had always appreciated the fact that he had come last. They joked that if had come any earlier there would have been no more Burwell kids.  Mark had gotten married in 2017 to a wonderful woman, Julia. Amy and the rest of the family had fallen in love with her. There was something special about her and the way that she made her brother behave. So far, no one else in his life had been able to do that.  Julia had a way with him that no one else did. She made him happy and kept him from running the bars. He was the nicest he had been in years. When they got married, Amy finally felt like she didn’t have to oversee her baby brother. She stopped worrying about his safety and started living her own life. Looking back, she should have paid a little more attention to what was going on.  She had no clue that he was still drinking. No clue that he was blowing all of the money they were making. No clue that he was taking it out on Julia. How could she have been so blind? 

She would never forget the morning she awoke to a message from her mom. “Call me as soon as you get up.” it read.  

Amy called her mom immediately to find out that her brother had been arrested the night before for beating Julia in front of their daughter.  She was devastated. As soon as she hung up with her mom, she immediately texted Julia telling her that she was so sorry and would help however she needed to.  Julia begged Amy to leave him in jail. Amy told her she would, but didn’t know what her parents would do. 

Just like before he was married, Amy’s parents bailed Mark out. As soon as he had access to a phone, he was calling and screaming at Amy and his other siblings. He screamed multiple profanities at them, calling them every name in the book and blaming them for him getting arrested. That was only the beginning. The rest of the year was spent blaming everyone for his alcoholism, his abusive personality, and his divorce.  

Amy hadn’t slept a full night in six months.  She had dark circles under her eyes to prove it. She has lost count of how many nights and early mornings Mark had blown up her phone blaming her for his actions.  She couldn’t take it anymore. She did not want to spend Thanksgiving pretending to be thankful and being in the same room with him.  

Thanksgiving morning arrived. She knew what she had to do.  She got up, got dressed and turned on the Macy’s Parade to kill the silence in her apartment.  She began preparing the only two things Grandma Betty would allow her to bring. Sweet corn casserole and pecan cheesecake.  Both of them were her brother’s favorite dishes. As she cooked, her mind began to wander to his conversations in recent days.  She hated how the downtime brought about his voice screaming at her. Why did he have this control over her emotions? 

Amy began to cry and pray.  “Lord, hear me. I can’t do this anymore. He has control over me. I can’t do this. Why doesn’t he see that he is wrong? Why can’t he see that he is killing our family? I can’t handle the lies, the confrontation, none of it. I can’t handle it anymore.  I need you to change him. He can’t continue hurting people this way anymore.” 

Amy wiped the tears from her eyes and finished cooking.  She finished getting ready and reluctantly headed to Grandma’s house.  When she arrived, the little ones were happy to see her. 

“Look Aunt Amy! I found your old Barbies!” her niece exclaimed. “Will you play with us?”

“After lunch,” Amy replied, “I need to see if Grandma needs help.”

Amy went into the kitchen to find a job. She met eyes with her mom and saw the sadness was with her too.  Amy hugged her mom and whispered, “It is going to be a good day.”  Her mom smiled and hugged her tighter.  

Amy looked around and didn’t see her youngest brother.  Grandpa Ancil hollered from his chair that we were not waiting any longer, he needed turkey! The family gathered around the dining room table without being told. That made Grandma Betty smile.  Grandpa started off by thanking God for the good farming year, his faith, and his family. As they went around the circle, much was mentioned about faith, family, and friends. Amy started to tear up wondering what she was going to say. Just before it got to her, Mark came in the back door.

“It’s about time!” Grandpa exclaimed. 

“I am sorry Pop. I had some things to take care of.” He grinned as he slid in the circle next to Amy.  He smiled at her and grabbed her hand ready to give his thanks. 

Amy joked weakly, “It’s your turn. Always cutting in to be heard. You can go. I will go after you.” 

Mark smiled his mischevious smile, cleared his throat and began “Mom, Dad, Amy, Josh, Jake, I am sorry. I am sorry for all the grief I have caused our family this year. You didn’t raise me to make the choices I have, and I realize my consequences are hurting our family.” By this point, everyone in the room was crying.  Grandma and Grandpa looked confused, but knew that whatever he was apologizing for was serious.  

Amy squeezed his hand, and he gave her a big hug.  

“Thank you sis for always showing me what is right. It is starting to sink in.” Mark whispered.