The Heart Shaped Box

 Everything I learned about love, I learned from a heart-shaped box. As to how it came to me, I hope to understand one day. It all started the day I moved in to the Tic-Tac-Toe house.

Driving in a rented moving van, we pulled up to a dusty, once-yellow house. It had an unkept overgrown yard, paint or something on the windows, and it was mine.

“Andriy- that is a beat up house!” Danny says. My oldest friend, he was helping me get everything moved for the usual fee of beer and pizza. I had just received the keys to my new place, my first house. It is a crystal clear day, with a strong wind blowing in from the north. It felt like a fresh start for me, and the aura of the house pulled me, it felt familiar, as if from a dream. Here I will plant my roots and I could not stop smiling. 

 Danny is not built to move boxes, he has a club foot, but is someone I can count on to help whenever I need it. I can also count on him to complain about the state of politics. A die- hard national democrat he had been on a rant all day, concerned a war would break out soon, our neighbor intent on taking over our smaller country. The same speech I have heard from him for the last 10 years, although I felt more anxiety from him than ever before due to the military build up on the border. After we parked, we opened up the back and pulled down the ramp to unload. On our second trip we found a young woman banging on the side of the van. I walk over and see an extremely attractive and extremely angry, brown haired woman.

Stunned by her beauty and her anger directed in my direction, I just stared. 

“Your truck is blocking my car- I am already late to work!” She points. 

We look over and see half of the neighbor’s driveway blocked by the loading ramp, and a few boxes.

“Hi,” I say finally. “Do you live here? I guess you do- I am your new neighbor, my name is….

“-no, it is my father’s house. Just move your stuff- I have to go! “ She interrupts, and storms off, getting into her car in the driveway.  

“OK then!” After I moved the truck and ramp, I saw Danny laughing at me. “You have a knack to piss women off!”  

That hit close to home. I do not have a girlfriend, nor wife, nor any on the horizon as my Mother reminds me almost every day. I just haven't found a woman who could relate to me, and what I need.   

Danny breaks into my thoughts. “What does ‘root cellar’ mean?” He gestures at my writing on one of the boxes.  

Inside the house, I show Danny an opening in the living room hardwood floor, the trap door leaning against the wall next to it.  

“The realtor said that is the root cellar. I figure I can use it for storage for now.” 

“A root cellar? That is a weird place for a cellar door, it is in the living room!"

“It is not that strange.” I say, but am confused as well. “These boxes over here say ‘Bedroom closet’, let's do these."

On the top of the bedroom closet shelf, putting the last of the clothes away, I found a box. It must have been left by the last tenant. I pulled it down, red and heart-shaped.   

Danny grabbed it and shook it-

“Any chocolates left?“

It made a noise, though not like candy. Danny opened it up and pulled out a tied bundle of old faded letters. Danny’s eyes got big, as he opened one up, and then read it out loud in an exaggerated voice: 

Dearest Andriy - 

How is your first week at boot camp? It has been raining here, not a break since you left. I have been volunteering for extra shifts at the hospital to keep me busy. I miss you terribly, it is so hard to come home to an empty house. Every night, I get to our house and hope you will be there, welcoming me home, asking me how my day was, like you used to do, before.  

I wish you hadn’t enlisted, and I know you have heard enough of my side of this, but there can't be a war coming, there is too much at stake for both countries. 

 I know your reasons, and I am so proud of your courage and commitment to our people and our way of life. Take care of yourself, and Please Be Safe!  

- I want you to come home in one piece!

Love, Emmy .

“It is written to an Andriy- like you!” Danny says.

“It is the most common name in the country- and should you even be reading this? I 'll give it to the realtor, maybe they can track down the last resident. “

Danny puts the letters back in the box. “Whatever- I need to get going. You should read these- maybe you will learn something about love!"

Danny left, I put it back on the shelf and promptly forgot about the heart-shaped box. 

A few days later, looking for a place to hide my un-used running shoes where I won’t look at them with guilt, they hit something on the top shelf of the closet. The heart-shaped box!   

I pulled it down and felt the velvet cover of the box. Soft, and well made, not the cheap plastic I see so often at the chocolate shops.  

I took it to the front room. Love letters, maybe Danny is right. I could learn something.  

I opened the top, and saw the bundle of faded letters wrapped up with ribbon, one pulled out. That is the one Danny must have read. The paper is old and faded. I sat down on my couch and opened a beer. I re-read the first letter, it shocked me to see my name in the elegant handwritten script. 

What war is Emmy referring to? No envelope, The letter has a month and year, but no date. Maybe, it was during the Yugoslav Wars? I pull out the next one, a response.

Emmy Darling-

I am outside the barracks, and my homesick feelings do not match this beautiful clear day. The strong wind and blue sky remind me of the day I met you. I remember how beautiful you were - while you yelled at me! I am here with hundreds of men, yet writing to you they all fade away and I am back in your presence.   

How is my dream girl today? How is your work at the hospital? How is our home? 

 I can picture you now, with your warm smile. Oh I wish I could just hold you right now! I miss running my hand through your hair. 

 I am sure you are worried about me. I can not tell you where I am, but we have decent housing and the food is better than expected. The training is going well, and I am sore in places I didn't know I had muscles. Put any concerns for me out of your head, I am in good health and feel great. I have seen many worse. Know we are together in spirit, and you are always in my thoughts.

 Be safe in our little yellow house, and remember I love you and I'll be home again, if not soon.

Love, Andriy

I finish reading and feel a hole in my heart. I want to love someone like that in my life. I stare at the empty room around me and the loneliness is like a blanket, thick and heavy, suffocating.  

I need to do something. With the good weather I decide to put some work into cleaning up the outside of the house. Scrubbing the gunk off the windows, I saw her again pulling into the driveway on a bike. I noticed she was about my age, average height and build, but something about her just sparkled, I could not stop looking at her. 

“ Hey, Hello” I said loudly-”I never was able to introduce myself, you were yelling-” 

She turns to look at me disparagingly as she takes her helmet off.  

“-So, uh, my name is Andriy. Did you know the Andriy who lived here before? I found some letters-” I begin. 

“-What name?" She interrupted. “I wouldn't know. I am glad you are finally cleaning up that house. It could look nice, with some effort. We call it the Tic-Tac-Toe house.”

“What?” I said

“ Those Xs.”

She points and I realize the marks on the window are in the shape of a large X. Tape or something had been put on the windows and the remaining adhesive has picked up dust and dirt.  I turned back to talk, but she was gone. 

Later that day I picked up the next letter in the bundle. 

Dearest Andriy-

Thank you for your letter, it just came. The mail has been delayed recently, along with a lot of other services- cell service is spotty, and the wifi goes out almost everyday! I have given up on the gas stations, so I ride my bike now, everywhere. I miss you terribly, and have no one to make me coffee in the mornings!

I want you to know, it is not as bad as the news reports. There is rationing, -we haven't seen real butter in a month!- however I am almost always at the hospital now, and so I can eat there. The bombings on the news look bad, but are not near here. 

The days at the hospital are getting harder- more and more people are coming in everyday, and we are short of supplies. I hope that the supplies really are going to the front like they tell us, and not just stuck in some warehouse.

 I think how frustrated you would be here, as the evening curfew means no evening walks. I love you and hope to see you soon.  

Love, Emmy

I look at the letter and feel the paper, could it be from World War II? But she mentioned cell service? Though maybe I misread her handwriting. The desperation she is facing. I can't imagine being stuck home every evening! I too love nighttime walks. The next letter is a response. 

Emmy Darling-

I am doing well, am safe and drinking thin, weak coffee. You would not approve! I am sorry it has been so long since I have written. So much has happened since my last letter that I forget what you like me to say, what you want me to say, and what I want to say myself.

I do want to put down in cold blue ink, so I’ll not tease but feel the truth and say that I love you still, more than ever.

I caught a shell in my leg. I am in the hospital now. I will let you know the prognosis when I do.

Love, Andriy

Caught a shell! I am invested in this other Andriy, I feel connected to him through these letters, and want to know what happens to him.

Dearest Andriy- 

I am so sorry to hear about your injury! I worry so much for you, although I have to say I am happy you are no longer on the front lines. How is the hospital? I hope it is better than here. The wounded have overwhelmed us and there is no more room. They built an underground hospital in the parking garage to take the overflow. I work double shifts everyday now, and often sleep in the nurse office as it is dangerous to travel outside. 

Speaking of our house, it is still standing. I know you would want to know what is going on. Danny is still here, and he prepared it as well as possible. There is no more wood available to board the windows, we had to use tape. Each window has an X mark to protect against the shockwaves.  

I know you don’t need to hear this, but everything you had talked about has come to pass. The authorities are arresting anyone who are without citizenship papers. Many neighbors have left, including my Father. I think about evacuating too, but where to go, and then how would I find you again? We are hosting a family without papers, I hope you approve. Since I am rarely home they can watch out for looters. We expanded the root cellar, so they can hide out if the HomeGuard comes to look for them. We have hidden the entrance in the floor. 

I miss you so much and only get through the day thinking of being back in your arms and living a ‘normal’ life again. Oh I will never take for granted again the chance to sleep through the night! 

I love you, and know we will be together again soon. 

Love Emmy

I put the letter down and go over to look in the root cellar, I lift the trap door that blends in perfectly with the floor. I climb in and see it has been dug out, with room for several people. In the corner I find an old tattered scarf. I do not understand these letters. Some of these events are recent, yet, there have not been any bombings near here, let alone a war. These letters are out of normal time, the story they tell is impossible, yet the love rings true. This couple has deep passion and commitment to each other.

Dearest Andriy- 

I haven't received a letter from you in over a month, I don't know if this letter will find you. Most services have been shut down. I am leaving in the morning, south to the Sea of Azov. There is a boat evacuating people across to the Black Sea, and then to Bulgaria. 

I am giving this letter to Danny, hopefully he can get it to you. He has been a blessing. You always talked about how you can count on Danny, and truly I am only alive because of him. He has done more good here at home, then he ever could in battle. Deemed not fit for the army, he has saved many of us. 

I don't want to go, but the hospital is closing so it is time. I think about you everyday, and look forward to a future where we can be together. So many have lost husbands, wives, families- I can not lose you.  

We will see each other again, if not in this life then another, I know it! Our love is too strong to be broken by this war.

I believe. Dearest Andriy, do you?  

Till we meet again.  

Love, Emmy

 I feel my skin tingle. Was their love strong enough, did they survive the war? More coincidences, a ‘Danny’ is mentioned, unfit for service? There is only one more letter. 

Emmy Darling-

I am coming home, and they could not save my leg. I am not a complete man anymore. 

I hope you will take me as I am, I am a different person, but I will always love you. I look forward to living the rest of our lives together and raising a family. I know now the importance of having someone who understands me, and I want you to know, you complete me. 

You ask, will our love lead us to each other again?

Yes, I believe.

Love, Andriy

I am in tears and feel so deeply about this couple. Did they ever find each other again? Someone collected these letters to put them in this box, but who, and when? What atrocity happened to split up this couple? Could these letters have been mixed up with some other letters? 

Danny said I can learn something about love. What did I learn from these letters? Love is having a connection with another person, and putting the other person’s wishes, their needs, first. I will try. 

Several days later I am outside working on the overgrown yard again, and I see her. 

 I hesitate as I don’t want to lose my chance. I gave a small wave. Several large roses are blooming on the bush between the two houses. I cut one and offer it to her. 

She smiles, and stops.  

“ Sorry, I have been…" She waves her hands in the air. "I am in my last year of school and have been under a lot of stress. My Father, who I am visiting, is sick, and so I am not getting too much time for myself.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” I ask. Anything she needs is my top priority.  

“Well, possibly could you look in on my Father sometimes? He would like the company.”

“Of course,” I smile. “Maybe we can all have coffee sometime.” I suggest, hesitantly.

“ Yes!” I love coffee, the stronger the better. My Father has a new coffee machine, but I do not know how to work it. Maybe you can look at it?"

“That sounds great.” I say. “You mentioned a school, what are you studying?” 

“I am in a nursing program.” She said, “So, what is your name again?” 

“It is Andriy. And yours?"

“Maria is my first name, but my friends don't call me that.” She says with a smile. 

“You can call me Emmy.”