Safe

The little boy feverishly climbed the old oak tree. He was determined to reach the top before his mother realized what he was doing. She was at the bottom of the hill that the tree sat on top of. He stopped for a second to wipe the sweat from his eyes. His arm was so sweaty itself that he just spread it around his face, possibly making the situation worse. It was the end of April but it was already fairly warm out. He took a second to look down and he saw his mother. She was sitting on a red and white checkered blanket with her friend Tracy who had come with them on their picnic. His mom had told him before they came here that this tree was special to her. After lunch the boy could tell his mother wanted some "adult time" with her friend, so he asked if he could go play on the hill. She said yes and he knew it was the perfect time to try and master this huge obstacle course. His gaze left his mother and went straight up. Looking through the beautiful and chaotic branch pattern of the tree he could see fluffy clouds gently floating by. It was time to climb again. Just then he heard in an incredibly alarmed and betrayed voice, "Joseph Daniel Stevenson what do you think you're doing!" She found him. Looking down through the trees this time he saw the bright red and terrified face of his mother. "Get down here before you get hurt!" She shouted worryingly. "I'm fine mommy," he said in a dismissive tone. "Now Joey!" She stated with finality. Only she called him Joey. He sighed and said "ok mommy." As he stepped down onto a branch that he had used just moments before, he heard a crack. The branch under his foot gave way and his right hand slipped. The next thing he knew he was on his back staring up through the tree again, but this time from the ground. The clouds were too far away to make out anymore. Just then he felt the searing pain in his right arm. He shifted his head and saw his mom crying hysterically while letting out whimpers that sounded like "his arm is broken" and "I knew this would happen." All the boy could get out through his oncoming tears was "I'm so sorry mommy."

-

Katie Jo sat on the lush green grass under her favorite oak tree. She was safely shaded from the intense heat of the July day. While she waited for her boyfriend to show she thought about the tree she sat under and all of the comforts it has brought her in her life. Whenever her parents would fight or her dad would yell at her this is where she would go. A haven from his rage and her mother's complacency. She would grab a book and walk the near mile from her parent’s house to get here, just like she had done today. Except for today, she was waiting for someone special. Steve Stevenson. She giggled to herself on the hill as she thought about his name and the fact that his parents purposely named him that. Just as her giggling was getting weird for someone sitting alone under a tree she heard, "what are you laughing about to yourself?" "I swear you love this tree more than you love me," said Steve from her left just getting to the top of the hill slightly out of breath. "You," she said. "Specifically your name," Katie Jo said with another burst of giggles. Steve walked over and plopped down beside her with a thud. He looked at her lovingly but also slightly hurt. "Did you know that hurts my feelings?" He said seriously. Picking up on the tone shift Katie Jo stopped laughing and said " I didn't know that, but thank you so much for telling me." She looked into his dark chestnut eyes and continued, " I'll be more aware of your feelings about this in the future." She loved that he was willing to talk about his feelings and things that bothered him. All the other boys around were so much more toxic about these things. Katie and Steve had been dating for a while now, in fact, today was their 3 year anniversary. After he caught his breath he moved so he was facing her while her back was still against the oak tree. "You know I love you right?" He stated with confidence and a smile. She returned the warm smile and joked "not as much as I love you!" His smile faded to a serious look but retained the love. He got up on one knee and brought a small red velvet box out from behind his back. He opened it and revealed a small silver princess cut engagement ring. It was the exact ring that she had said she loved eight months ago when they were in the mall jewelry store for fun. "I know we're only 19," he had to stop for a second as tears started to well in his eyes, "but I can't imagine my life without you." The tears started to gently stream down both of their faces as he lovingly choked out his point. "In front of your favorite tree, will you marry m-" before he could finish she cut him off with a booming "Yes!" She hugged him tightly and they collapsed onto the ground together. They stayed intertwined beneath the tree for some time. They tried to watch the clouds through the tree branches but they were too far away to make out.

-

Underneath the flame-colored October leaves of the Oak tree, Josephine and Alex were holding each other. Josephine's back was against the tree and Alex was pressing her body against hers. Alex had wrapped her arms around Josephine. They shared a warm, deep kiss as the cool breeze lightly tousled Josephine's hair. Alex's hair was too short to be bothered by the wind. They ended their kiss but wrapped themselves together even tighter to stay warm. "You know you're my girl right?" Alex said. Josephine lit up and snuggled into Alex's strong arms. "Hearing that is never going to get old you know?" Josephine said excitedly while looking up at Alex. "Which part?" Said Alex. "You know very well what part I mean missy!" Squealed Josephine. Just then there was a more serious shift in the mood. "I'm sorry your parents can't see the amazing woman you are Jo," Alex said with concern in her voice. Josephine looked up with immediate tears, "me too" she spoke softly. Just then a voice quietly interjected, "hi." Alex looked to her right as Josephine looked to her left and they both saw Josephine's mom standing there awkwardly. 

Both of the women were frozen in this unexpected situation when Josephine's mom broke the silence. "Could I please have a moment alone with…" She stated as she pointed to Josephine sheepishly. Alex locked eyes with Josephine and stated confidently and loudly "I'll stay with you no matter what Jo, unless you ask me to leave you two alone for a minute." Josephine shifted her weight uncomfortably as she wiped her tears from earlier and thought about the situation. She pressed her back against the steady tree and let it ground her as she closed her eyes for a moment of solitary contemplation. She opened her eyes. She looked at her mom but spoke to Alex and said "please give us a second, I want to hear what she has to say." "I'll be close," Alex said. She kissed Josephine on the cheek while shooting a warning glance towards their intruder. 

Alex walked down the other side of the hill while Josephine's mother slowly walked under the tree. "It's ironic that this tree is your safe space since it has always been mine," stated Katie Jo. "How is that ironic?" Said Josephine timidly. "It's ironic because I'm the reason you needed to feel safe under it," choked out Katie Jo. "This is where I went when your grandparents were cruel to me," Katie Jo said as she took a few more slow steps towards her daughter while looking at the fallen leaves on the ground. "I always told myself that I would never make you need to feel safe somewhere else, yet here we are," said Katie Jo. "Yet, that's exactly what you and dad did," said Josephine quietly as she started to cry for a new reason. They both looked at the ground.

After a moment of silence, Katie Jo said, "do you remember when you broke your arm in this tree?" Josephine kept looking at the ground silently. "Of course you remember, how could you not," said Katie Jo. Josephine was crying harder now and Katie Jo also started to cry. "I'm so sorry Joey." With that, the flood gates opened for both women. Katie Jo started a long stream of apologies through garbled cries. "I'm sorry for missing your 19th birthday, that we kicked you out two months before it, that I didn't listen when you tried to talk to me, that I cared more about my feelings than yours when you came out, and I'm sorry that I treated you like a boy even when you told me you weren't," she finished. Josephine and Katie Jo were both crying so hard now that they crumpled to the ground at nearly the same time. "I'm ignorant," Katie Jo cried, "I didn't have the knowledge to help you with this struggle when you broke your arm, or came out and every time in between. Please try and forgive me, Josephine Danielle Stevenson." Josephine couldn’t help but look at her mother now. The shock of what just happened was enough to cut through Josephine’s sobbing. That was her name. Her name that she chose. Not the name her parents gave her. When she first told her mom her new name Katie Jo refused to say it, in fact, she loudly stated Josephine’s full dead name several times as an act of defiance. “You said my name,” Josephine got out clearly despite the emotional state of the situation. “Yes I did,” stated Katie Jo as she looked up to meet Josephine’s eyes. 

As the mother and daughter were finally looking up at each other Alex came over the hill to check on Josephine. “Are you doing OK Jo?” Josephine turned her gaze towards Alex. Still stunned from what happened,  all Josephine could get out was, “my mom said my name.” With the same confident tone as before, Alex stated, “that’s good baby, she should.” Josephine looked back at her mother, “did you mean all of those apologies?” With that Alex also looked at Katie Jo with a hopeful but careful face. Katie Jo’s face took on a serious and determined look as she said, “I let my ignorance outweigh my love, and that resulted in me hurting you in ways that I never wanted in a million years.” “I want to learn and I want to do whatever I can to start healing the wounds I gave you sweetheart, but only if you want that as well,” she said as she looked over at Josephine again. “I know it’s not easy to accept at first,” Josephine said, “but this is all I needed." "Just you loving me and talking to me." "Knowing that you’re willing to do that, I’m willing to keep talking and healing,” Josephine finished. “Dad wanted to come too and say the same things,” Katie Jo started, “but I wanted to do this alone." "He’s at home hoping that you’ll meet us there when you’re ready to talk more.” After a moment all three women took a healing deep breath while Josephine and Katie Jo stood up and brushed the leaves off themselves. Alex walked over to Josephine and helped her get all of the dead leaves off. 

After the mood lightened slightly Josphine spoke up, “I’ll come over to talk if Alex can come.” Alex squeezed Josephine’s hand in agreement. “Of course she can come, I’m so happy that she has been with you,” Katie Jo said quickly. Alex showed a slight smile of acknowledgment.

With that, all three women started walking down the hill towards the very spot that the red and white checkered blanket had sat so many years before. Alex and Josephine were still tightly holding hands. Josephine and Katie Jo both looked over their shoulders towards the old oak tree as they got to the bottom of the hill. Then they looked at each other and smiled. Josephine was ready to work towards feeling safe with her mother again.