The Jock

The cup slips out of my hand and glass shatters as I try to catch my breath. He looks up from his conversations sharply at the commotion I’ve accidently created. How is he here? He looks like a dream and I have to hold myself back from running right into his arms. My hands shake as I bend down to scoop up some of the glass chunks. Footsteps approach loudly in the silent library and I am looking at two black shoes that have approached me. I glance up.

“Can I help you?” 

‘Thomas, hi!’ My heart screams. I take a deep breath and search his gentle eyes for that familiar twinkle. 

“Um. I’m sorry” I stammer. “I’m just as clumsy as I was in that bio class.” Bio class: the only time I’d get to see his smile as he joked with his friends in school. About 4 years ago. I giggle uncertainty as the corners of his mouth tilt down and he furrows his brow. 

“Right. Well, I’ll get someone to clean this up. Can’t have broken glass just laying around.”

“Right,” I retort and place the shards that are in my hand into the nearby trash can. “Sorry, again.”

Thomas gives me a grimace and pulls out his phone. While texting who I assume is maintenance, he struts back to his conversation. 

On my drive home, I recall how Thomas looked at me when I mentioned the only class together. He looked so grown up in dress pants and a button down. I smile fondly when I remember how he would always wear a sweatshirt, even if it was almost summer and about eighty degrees outside. I shake my head and remind myself to go back to the library to drop off a book the following day. 

I can’t sleep. Surely Thomas remembers me. We had a bio class together! Sure, we sat on opposite sides of the room, but those seats faced each other! I’d see him looking at me once or twice. I mean, I’d see him glance over to my table, and I definitely saw him looking at my paper a few times, so there's no way he’d forget me! Or maybe, I look so different now than I did in school. My figure filled out and I learned to do my hair, so that's what it had to me. But he remembers me, I’m sure of it.

A week goes by where I am unable to go to the library. I run errands all around town and think about Thomas. I swerve my car back into my lane as I twirl my hair anxiously around my finger. I bite my lip and shake my head. ‘Shake it off!’ I think to myself. I have things to do! I cannot be worried about some boy from school four years ago!

I jump as a car behind me honks. As I turn the corner to get to my street, I catch sight of Thomas as I drive by. He’s in casual clothes this time, shorts, sneakers, and a long sleeve shirt. I whip my head around because, well, this has to be some sort of mistake, my mind must be playing tricks on me. I  briefly consider driving one more loop around the block before going home, but if he was walking in the same direction I was driving, then he’s bound to pass by my house. I pull into my driveway and wait. 

I pull out my phone to appear busy. In about five minutes, he rounds the corner. I grab my bag and rummage through it for a beat, then get out of my car as he gets closer. I give him a cheery wave and he raises his hand and shakes it once as a response. I glance at my house and then smooth my shaky hands over my dress. 

“Hi!” I say as he reaches earshot. 

“Hey,” he replies, in a deadpan tone. 

“Um, I didn’t know you worked at a library.” I search frantically for a way to keep the conversation going.”

He stops. “I own it. Why does that matter?”

So he does remember me! From yesterday at least. I push my hair behind my ear and pull my bag closer to myself. “Okay, this is going to sound really crazy. I don’t even know why I’m doing this, because I don’t usually ask guys out, but would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?” 

He looks at me and I cannot read his expression. His eyebrows are raised and a faint smirk plays on his lips. “I have plans tomorrow night.” 

He begins to walk away, but I have to try one last time. “Tonight then?” 

Thomas stops right in front of me. “Okay. The asian place on the corner. Meet me there at 7.” 

I can hardly contain my grin as he walks away. Once I get inside, I rush to the bathroom to get ready. 

Once seven comes around, I am at the restaurant, giddy with excitement. I finally got the boy I’ve had a crush on for years to go on a date with me. I did it! I grab a table for two right by the door so he’ll be able to see me when he walks in. I straighten the menus that the hostess gives me. Then I straighten the soy sauce and napkin holder. I resist the urge to get up and fix his chair so it's perfect, so I instead fold my hands in my lap. I wait for Thomas to walk through the door in his handsome business casual attire, the short brown hair of his, and his wide smile. 

I get so caught up in watching the door that I am not even sure what time it is anymore. I check my wrist watch and it reads almost nine o’clock. I have officially been stood up. How stupid of me not to ask for his number so I could give him a piece of my mind. I order sushi to go and trudge back to my car. The next day, I grab my book that needs to be returned and I march to the library. 

“Hi,” I smile sweetly at the receptionist. “Do you know where I can find Thomas, the owner?” 

The receptionist is a thin old lady with long flowing hair. “Mister Thomas is in a meeting dear. You’re welcome to wait.”

I am so done waiting. “Do you know how long he’ll be?”

“No honey, they don’t tell me much around here. I saw him walk into a meeting room about an hour ago.” 

“Thank you.” I quickly walk to the seating area and settle into a chair that has an excellent view of Thomas’s meeting room. 

Another hour goes by when the door finally opens and another young man in business attire walks out, followed by Thomas. They seem to be chatting about some sports game or another. I’m not one to be bold and embarrass myself, but I find myself marching up to him. His eyes get wide when he sees me coming towards him.

“You didn’t show up.”

“And?” He crosses his arms.

“I want an explanation.”

He uncrosses his arms and sighs in annoyance. “Alright, why don’t you come into my office.” 

I walk to the door and yank it open. Once inside, I don’t sit down, but instead turn to look at Thomas who is closing the door behind himself.

“Well?” Now I cross my arms and he rubs his temples. 

“What do you want me to say? Hm? I’m sorry, is that what you want to hear?” He walks to the other side of the room.

“I just want to know why you didn’t show up. You could have told me no.”

“I did!” he spins to face me. “I told you I had plans and you persisted. And now you're, what, stalking me? Why can’t you just leave me alone? I’ve never met you and I have no idea who you are and why you were so determined to get me to go on a date with you. It was borderline creepy. You just wouldn't stop staring at me! Like a lost puppy!”

I turn away from him. I can't take it anymore. I bite my lip as it starts to tremble. I will not cry in front of this monster. He doesn’t remember me. 

I face him again. “It's me. Mia. We used to go to school together and, I don’t know, I thought it would be nice to maybe go on a date and see where we each ended up.”

“Who? I didn’t go to school with any one named Mia.”

Now I can’t stop a tear from rolling silently down my cheek.

“We had a biology class together.” I say quietly. A giant pit falls and sits in my stomach and I feel like I can't breathe. “But if you don’t remember me, then forget this ever happened.” 

I walk out of his meeting room and out of the library. It was such a mistake coming here. I cannot believe I thought that a popular jock like him would ever notice a nerdy girl like me. He really was just some dumb jock who doesnt remember me, and I fell for him.