THE PODIUM

It was during the session, SDA1 [social development administration] first semester in a university, one of African top universities, there was going to be a presentation for the class, everybody knew what a presentation is- you have to come out in front of the class well dressed like a social worker and talk, everybody knew what it is, even wilshere.

Wilshere was young man in his 20's who had spent seven years of his life trying and failing to secure an admission into the university, life has taken a toll on him, you could see it in his face, his looks, his choice, almost older than his age and almost considered not continuing his education but decided to take a program in social development where he studied social work just after he was sacked from his last job and he was a stutterer, he was naturally a shy person, almost all of the class did not even know him except they see his face whenever he enters into the class during lecture days, so it was a lecture day, a very special lecture day. Wilshere always had his ego on guard so he studied his part of the topic to be presented, yes it was a group presentation so he had some knowledge on the topic only he had no knowledge how he was going to stand up from his chair, walk down to the front of the lecture hall and address the whole class including the lecturer even though she wasn't a strict type. Averagily looking as he always try to look good, a very nice blue shirt which he struggled to get, he was a type of person that would always make sure to do his own bit, well ironed, a black pant and his favorite shoe, everyone knows that shoe, everyone in his street and everyone in his class, he wears it to class everyday, it was dark blue and a brown sometimes it looked like a boot but wilshere would wear anything on it, maybe it wasn't his favorite it was just the only one he had and he always wore it well.

Now the lecturer was in, wilshere was at the backseat with some other students trying to help himself calm down his nerves, during presentations students like to seat at the back so they can chat and also laugh at other students who didn't present well, he tries to always smile a lot sometimes but you could see in his face behind the smile that he was bothered, not about what to say but if he could say it, if he would embarrass himself in front of the whole class and his crush Jennifer who was sitting somewhere in a seat in the middle of the class, he would go to his phone, read motivational quotes but he wouldn't feel motivated, he would try to create conversations with random classmates he hasn't spoken to before to take his mind away, he occasionally asked AZ if he was ready, AZ was his read mate and they had occasionally talked about the presentation weeks before over and over

'how far have you prepared?'

AZ was the oldest student in the class and he always laughed when he tries to answers questions like that,

'i just read my read part and i understand it'

answers like this feels different, because people's problem seem to be what to do but wilshere's problem is always not what to do but how to do it. AZ would also occasionally ask

'guy are you scared?'

but wilshere and his ego would answer

'no, scared of what'

wilshere knew it was a lie but he was angry with himself for being scared of situations like this that student way younger than him are not, still the fear won't go. AZ seemed very confident.

It was a group presentation and his group was the fourth and he had drank more than four sachets of whiskeys and he had bought more too even with his transport fare back home, wilshere didn't care, all he cared was that presentation because he knew he is not able to do it, he would watch other groups, smile when they do well and also smile when they didn't, he was looking for motivation, he was trying to escape from that emotional fear, as more groups finished theirs, his fear increased, it would soon be his turn the drinks had worn out, there was no more booze, he quickly took an excuse,

'sorry ma'am can i go out to ease myself?'

he jugged hurriedly to a supermarket, got a drink on credit, he had no money, but he was a known customer at the shop and they trusted he was going to pay, he hurried back with a sachet, didn't drink it till he got to the class, sat behind again, a little bit calm now, he had a drink in his hand maybe it was going to save him. Group 8 was called, it was his group, he looked at his two sides it was clear he tore the sachet, and emptied the drink into himself, a bit tipsy but also a bit confident he walked to the front of the class where his group members were, stood there glanced at his printed copy then it seemed it wasn't a complete copy, maybe it was the booze i don't know, he looked at one of his colleague she was holding hers too.

'sorry can i?' stretching his hand indicating if he could see her own her copy and it was exactly as his,

'is this copy complete?' he asked her

'yes it is' she said

he returned it and focused on his own, now they have being about three presentations from his group, it seemed it was his turn to present, everywhere became blue like he hasn't taken booze at all his eyes were going to drop, his heart has beating the hell out of his chest, wilshere, goodlookingily walked to the podium; it was him against stronger demons.